Tracee Ellis Ross Opens Up About Surpassing Her Own Expectations & Finally Feeling "Whole" At Age 46
Life doesn't always turn out the way we think it should, but the good news is most times, that means your destiny can be greater than anything you could have expected.
Just ask Tracee Ellis Ross, who used the lowest point in her life to create the formula for her career peak. The actress recently announced the release of her haircare line, PATTERN, and talked with ESSENCE about how she made a dream that is more than a decade in the making come true through the power of manifestation.
Decades after appearing on the cover of ESSENCE with her mother, Diana, for the first time, Tracee Ellis Ross is on a mission to become an industry legend in her own right. In the cover story, she explained:
"I remember the first time I was on 'ESSENCE'. I was on it with my mom. I thought, 'Okay, dreams are real, and they can happen.' Still, as Diana Ross's child, you wonder whether you will become anything in your own right. So it was a really big moment to go from being on the cover of 'ESSENCE' with my mom to having my own cover. Now I've had three on my own and one with my mom. That's crazy!"
At age 46, Tracee is as fly and free as ever, and says that after years of letting others determine her worth, she finally understands that wholeness is priceless:
"I feel a little humbled by that, knowing I have truly filled my own shoes—and maybe even had to buy a couple of new pairs at times. There are people who have no idea that my worth is not based on my mom or what I look like. There's a wholeness to me that I cherish."
While Tracee may be living the life of her dreams today thanks to this positive perspective, this hasn't always been her mentality. The entrepreneur explained that when Girlfriends went off the air in 2008, she felt like a fish out of water with nowhere to swim. Although Tracee anticipated that her phone would soon blow up with a slew of calls, texts, and emails that offered the actress her next big role, her phone didn't ring:
"I really thought when 'Girlfriends' finished that the pearly gates of Hollywood were going to open, and they were going to be like, 'What movie would you like, ma'am? Please, choose whatever.' That did not happen. It forced my soul to continue to search for what it longed for, dreamed of, wanted to be."
I've always been very intentional with my prayers, but it's hard to ask for what you haven't envisioned. According to Tracee, the key to discovering your destiny may lie in leveling up your expectations. Tracee says that she finally discovered freedom after realizing that true joy can't be determined by a dollar sign:
"It allowed me to continue to create an unbreakable, unshakable foundation for my life, a relationship with myself that is based not on what everybody outside is saying but on what I believe is good and right. It allowed me to continue to grow as a person and to realize I was deserving and worthy. I could own my success, but I could also own what might look like failure. I could literally be my own best friend and mirror, knowing that my worth is not tangled up in what I think I should be getting."
The path to success is not linear, and Tracee warns against beating yourself up when you lose your footing. What she thought was the end of her career was only the beginning of her best life, because soon after the show ended, she wrote her first pitch for a line of hair care products that would come to fruition 10 years later. Our time isn't God's time, and Tracee learned that lesson the hard way so we don't have to:
"Ten years ago, when 'Girlfriends' ended, I wrote a pitch for a line of hair care products. It has been 30 years in the trenches of my hair. Twenty years of dreaming. Ten years of trying, strategizing and asking. Five years of continuing to learn. Four years with chemists, and 74 samples later, we're here."
To read Tracee's full interview, click here!
Featured image by Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage
