The 10 Most Powerful Lessons On Love And Life Beyonce Taught Us
Beyonce has achieved an entire lifetime's worth of success in both her professional and personal life all by the age of 30. Her journey to this point is so inspirational. To help hercelebrate turning another year older, we've put together the 10 Most Powerful Lessons on Love, Life and Motherhood that we've learned from Beyonce.
Check out her most memorable quotes below!
1. There is Power in Partnership (aka Marriage!)
As a self-proclaimed feminist and humanist, some people were confused when Bey said this on her "Grown Woman" intro. Was Beyonce saying she needed her man to succeed? No. She was successful before her hubby, Shawn "Jay-Z" Carter. But did she need her husband to help "enhance" her as a business, brand and wife? Yes. And vice-versa for Jay-Z. Bey also stated in her 2014 "Yours and Mine" documentary:
"People feel like they lose something when they get married, but it doesn't have to be that way. There's nothing more exciting than having a witness to your life... Men and women balance each other out, and we have to get to a point where we are comfortable with appreciating each other
Everybody's not good at everything. It's okay to depend on someone. It's actually what we're supposed to do, we're supposed to depend on each other. And when you find the person that you trust and you love and you feel is going to respect you and take all of the sh-t you have and turn it around and bring out the best in you, it feeds you. It is the most powerful thing you can ever feel in your life.
2. There is Power in Knowing Your Purpose (and according to Beyonce, she discovered her purpose through motherhood)
During an interview with Anderson Cooper a few years ago, a then-new mommy Bey opened up about her love for motherhood and how it has added to her as a mother and overall being.
"We all have our purpose...[Having a daughter] just gives you purpose and all of the things that my self-esteem was associated with, it's all completely different.
[With Blue], I realized why I was born and more than anything all of the things I want to pass onto my child and the best way of doing that is not by preaching or telling her but showing her by example, which is one of the reasons I'm here."
Amazing! As a public figure, it's so important that at the end of the day, leaving an impression on her daughter means more to Beyonce than being impressive as a celeb. Not that she has to try too hard anyway. This definitely gets filed under "The Power of Prioritizing," too. Family first!
3. There is Power in Privacy ("I feel like I'm the property of the public")
Although Bey has certainly learned to live a life of balance, (which is evident from her Tumblr page of various family vacations and the fact that Blue probably has more stamps in her passport at 3 than any of us will ever have in a lifetime), it hasn't been easy being "Bey." The things that come easy to us, come hardest for her. Including a life of privacy- which she forfeited for fame.
"Before I was famous I was a girl, on the heel with a guitar, I was the girl that just wanted a beautiful view of the beach, and now that I'm famous it's really really difficult to do really simple things. I think [privacy] was the hardest thing to give up."
4. There is Power in the ... "Possession" of a Woman
During her Mrs. Carter world tour, Beyonce gave an epic introduction to her "Naughty Girl," track, and it went a little something like this:
“When you become a woman you celebrate who you are and know that sensuality is a gift. This gift gives you power. This power that you can manipulate. This power can celebrate. What would you do with this power? Would you let go? would you surrender? I can make you surrender. If you make the right selection the passion can intensify like a drug. Are you high right now? Can you reach me? Harnessing the power of your body requires responsibility seduction is much more than beauty, it is generous, it is intelligence, it is mysterious, [&] it is exclusive."
5. There is Power in the Process of Success (aka- What "Sleep?")
As a woman who has racked up a whopping 452 total awards in her lifetime, Beyonce is in no way, shape, or form anything less than half woman, half amazing. And of course that doesn't come without a bit of sacrifice:
"I am a workaholic and I don't believe in 'no.' I don't believe in I need to sleep. If I'm not sleeping nobody's sleeping. I'm one human being. It's a lot. If I want to be a businesswoman, I'm a businesswoman. Independence is not easy."
Any questions?
6. There is Power in Pride
After nearly 20 years in the industry, there are a few things that Beyonce has said about independence and having your own, as taught by none other than, "Mama" Tina Knowles:
"My mother always taught me to be strong and to never be a victim, never make excuses, never expect anyone else to provide for me things I can provide for myself. Your self worth is determined by you. You don't have to depend on someone telling you who you are."
Along with our personal favorite, which she once told to Oprah shortly after her marriage to hubby Jay-Z in 2006: "Make sure you have your own life before becoming someone else's wife!" Yes, Bey!
7. There is Power in Pain
"If I hadn't gone through some of the painful experiences in my life, I would not be me."
Beyonce knows a thing or two about pain, conflict and having fear, but she also knows a thing or two about healing and having faith. In her '"Yours and Mine" mini documentary which Bey filmed in honor of the one year anniversary of her self-entitled album, she went on to say:
"I was brought up seeing my mother trying to please and make everyone comfortable. And I always felt like it was my job to fix the problem. A people-pleaser. But I'm no longer afraid of conflict, and I don't think conflict is a bad thing. Because I know that when you grow up, when you learn a few things, you're no longer afraid of letting go, you're no longer afraid of the unknown. You're no longer afraid of going to certain places in your mind and your body and your soul that might make you uncomfortable. And it all starts when you can look in the mirror and say, 'I like that person, you know?'"
8. There is Power in Perception
Beauty is deeper than skin deep and if there is one person who knows that, it is the woman who created the tracks "Flawless" and "Flaws and All," - beautifully ironic, right? Ever the self-proclaimed feminist, Beyonce has once gone on record in her songs and interviews, not only praising the beauty of women everywhere, but embracing their strengths too:
"The most alluring thing a woman can have is confidence," while also saying: "We have to reshape our own perception of how we see ourselves. We have to step up as women and take the lead."
9. There is Power in Imperfection ("Perfection is a disease of the nation.")
"The reality is: sometimes you lose. And you're never too good to lose. You're never too big to lose. You're never too smart to lose. It happens."
Simply said: You win some, you lose some but in the end, only the blessed get to live another day. And another day, means new opportunities. If at first you don't succeed, simply dust yourself off an try again!
10. There is Power in... Power!
"Power is not given to you, you have to take it!"
A modest goddess who keeps it humble between mumbles. I'm a journalism graduate with a HERstory in digital media, print and radio. Roll the credits: Power 96, VH1, xoNecole, EBONY, SOHH. Deemed "Top 20 Women in Media" by Power 105. Bronx made me, Broward raised me.
For Us, By Us: How HBCU Alumni Are Building Legacies Through Entrepreneurship
Homecoming season is here, and alumni are returning to the yard to celebrate with their friends and family at the historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs) that have changed their lives forever.
No matter where their life journeys have taken them, for HBCU students from near and far, returning to where it all started can invoke feelings of nostalgia, appreciation for the past, and inspiration for the future.
The seeds for these entrepreneurs were planted during their time as students at schools like Spelman, North Carolina A&T, and more, which is why xoNecole caught up with Look Good Live Well’s Ariane Turner, HBCU Buzz’s Luke Lawal and Morehouse Senior Director of Marketing and Comms and Press Secretary Jasmine Gurley to highlight the role their HBCU roots play in their work as entrepreneurs, the legacy they aim to leave behind through the work that they do, and more as a part of Hyundai’s Best In Class initiative.
On Honoring HBCU Roots To Create Something That Is For Us, By Us
Ariane Turner
Courtesy
When Ariane Turner launched Look Good, Live Well, she created it with Black and brown people in mind, especially those with sensitive skin more prone to dryness and skin conditions like acne and eczema.
The Florida A&M University graduate launched her business to create something that addressed topical skin care needs and was intentional about its approach without negative terminology.
Turner shared that it is important to steer clear of language often adopted by more prominent brands, such as “banishing breakouts” or “correcting the skin,” because, in reality, Turner says there is nothing wrong with the way that our skin and bodies react to various life changes.
“I think what I have taken with me regarding my HBCU experience and translated to my entrepreneurial experience is the importance of not just networking,” Turner, the founder and CEO of Look Good, Live Well, tellls xoNecole.
“We hear that in business all the time, your network is your net worth, but family, there’s a thing at FAMU that we call FAMU-lee instead of family, and it’s very much a thing. What that taught me is the importance of not just making relationships and not just making that connection, but truly working on deepening them, and so being intentional about connecting with people initially, but staying connected and building and deepening those relationships, and that has served me tremendously in business, whether it’s being able to reach back to other classmates who I went to school with, or just networking in general.”
She adds, “I don’t come from a business background. As soon as I finished school, I continued with my entrepreneurial journey, and so there’s a lot of that traditional business act and the networking, those soft skills that I just don’t have, but I will say that just understanding how to leverage and network community and to build intentional relationships is something that has taken me far and I definitely got those roots while attending FAMU.”
On Solving A Very Specific Need For The Community
Luke Lawal Jr.
Courtesy
When Luke Lawal Jr. launched HBCU Buzz, his main focus was to represent his community, using the platform to lift as they climbed by creating an outlet dedicated to celebrating the achievements and positive news affecting the 107 historically HBCUs nationwide.
By spotlighting the wonderful things that come from the HBCU community and coupling it with what he learned during his time at Bowie State University, Lawal used that knowledge to propel himself as an entrepreneur while also providing his people with accurate representation across the internet.
“The specific problem in 2011 when I started HBCU Buzz was more so around the fact that mainstream media always depict HBCUs as negative,” Lawal says. “You would only see HBCUs in the mainstream media when someone died, or the university president or someone was stepping down. It was always bad news, but they never shed light on all the wonderful things from our community."
So, I started HBCU Buzz to ensure the world saw the good things that come from our space. And they knew that HBCUs grew some of the brightest people in the world, and just trying to figure out ways to make sure our platform was a pedestal for all the students that come through our institutions.”
“The biggest goal is to continue to solve problems, continue to create brands that solve the problems of our communities, and make sure that our products, our brands, our companies, and institutions are of value and they’re helping our community,” he continues. “That they’re solving problems that propel our space forward.”
On How Being An HBCU Alum Impacts The Way One Shows Up In The World
Jasmine Gurley
Courtesy
Jasmine Gurley is a proud North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University alum. She is even more delighted with her current role, which enables her to give back to current HBCU students as the Senior Director of Brand Marketing and Communications and official press secretary at Morehouse College.
“It was a formative experience where I really was able to come into my own and say yes to all the opportunities that were presented to me, and because of that, it’s been able to open the doors later in life too,” says Gurley of her experience at North Carolina A&T. “One thing I love about many HBCUs is that we are required to learn way more about African American history than you do in your typical K through 12 or even at the higher ed level."
She adds, “It allowed us to have a better understanding of where we came from, and so for me, because I’m a storyteller, I’m a history person, I’m very sensitive to life in general, being able to listen to the stories and the trials that our ancestors overcame, put the battery pack in my back to say, ‘Oh nothing can stop me. Absolutely nothing can stop me. I know where I came from, so I can overcome something and try anything. And I have an obligation to be my ancestors’ wildest dreams. Simultaneously, I also have a responsibility to help others realize that greatness.
Gurley does not take her position at an HBCU, now as a leader, lightly.
“People think I’m joking when I say I’m living the dream, but I really am,” she notes. “So I wake up every day and know that the work that I do matters, no matter how hard it might be, how frustrating it may be, and challenging it. I know the ripple effect of my work, my team, and what this institution does also matter. The trajectory of Black male experiences, community, history, and then just American advancement just in general.”
On the other hand, through her business, Sankofa Public Relations, Gurley is also on a mission to uplift brands in their quest to help their respective communities. Since its inception in 2017, Sankofa PR has been on a mission to “reach back and reclaim local, national, and global communities by helping those actively working to move” various areas of the world, focusing on pushing things forward for the better.
“Through Sankofa, we’ve worked with all different types of organizational brands and individuals in several different industries, but I would think of them as mission-based,” says Gurley.
“So with that, it’s an opportunity to help people who are trying to do good in the world, and they are passionate about what they’re doing. They just need help with marketing issues, storytelling, and branding, and that’s when my expertise can come into play. Help them get to that moment where they can tell their story through me or another platform, and that’s been super fulfilling.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
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Between the election cycle, trauma, workplace environment, and expectations placed upon us by society, Black women are existing in a world where our lived experiences result in higher rates of chronic stress. In tandem with that reality, are Black women leading the charge in the wellness industry for a world that centers our health and wellness needs, but who cares for those leaders and supports them?
Oftentimes, they do the work themselves. xoNecole talked with several wellness founders who own adaptogenic beauty brands, intergenerational wellness collectives, nonprofit organizations, and wellness apps. Here's what they shared about how they center themselves when emotions are high and they feel dysregulated.
Remind Myself I Deserve A Calm Nervous System
"A year ago, I made a decision that I refused to be in a constant state of anxiety while running a wellness company. You're probably thinking that should be a given, right? But it's so easy to become overwhelmed by your business's daily responsibilities and overall growth goals and ultimately put your needs on the back burner. What regulates me and brings me back to myself are the daily habits that gave me the life and community I have now—starting my day with prayer and exercise, swimming weekly, baths by candlelight, listening to neo-soul and jazz to end my day.
"But most importantly, I've learned to remind myself that when I feel overwhelmed, I deserve a calm nervous system. I don't have to let every change, every decision, every obstacle, every uncomfortable conversation rattle me. I ground myself in that and remind myself daily that being dysregulated doesn't serve me."
Music, Scents, & Breathwork
"As a founder, it's easy to 'push through' and ignore your true emotional state because you're on a mission. But my true purpose is to live well and show others that we all deserve to live well. Music, scent, and breathwork are my most frequently used tools for emotional regulation. Music can get me through anything. Scents—whether they be perfume, diffused oils, or candles—ground me. Breathwork saves me from spiraling. My practices are extremely simple, but they work for me."
Time to Myself
"As a wellness founder, I regulate myself emotionally on a daily basis by putting on my favorite record, taking a hot shower, watching my favorite show, and eating foods that comfort me. It honestly depends on the day, but generally, it's whatever will bring me joy for a moment and allow me to zone out. I really need that time to myself—to just be—in order to pour back into my community."
"By challenging myself to view my negative anxious thoughts with self-compassion and grace, I create space to validate the way I feel but reframe the thought to be more balanced and supportive. Example: 'I can't believe I dropped the ball on that' after being challenged and reframed turns into 'Baby girl, you are trying the best you - remember you only have only two hands.' Or, 'I failed' turns into 'Sis, you tried.'"
Moving My Body
"One way I emotionally regulate as a wellness founder is through movement. I spent about five years doing talk therapy, and I made a lot of breakthroughs, but now, in my 30s and this era in my life, I realize how much stagnant energy is really just a matter of me literally moving my body. So exercising, walking, and making sure I'm not sedentary has done wonders for me to ground myself daily. Right now, I'm really enjoying taking sculpt classes, low-impact cardio, and hot yoga. I always feel better after I move my body; it's therapeutic."
Practice What I Preach
"Managing daily stress and anxiety varies for me depending on my personal and professional seasons. My three go-to self-care strategies are reminding myself that rest is productive and actually resting, prioritizing my weekly tasks, and taking a few minutes for breathwork. It's important to me to practice what I encourage others in my community to do."
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Featured image by Rob Kim/Getty Images for Global Connections for Women Foundation or GC4W