If you read the title of this article and already, you're ready to punch your computer screen, I feel you. Try and bear with me, though. I'm hoping that, by the end of this, you'll see Mondays a little differently than (maybe) you currently do.
I must admit that while I was reading an article about why so many of us loathe the first work day of the week, a lot of the reasons made sense. Many of us don't use Sunday to prepare for the week, so we stay up late; this prevents us from getting enough rest which makes us irritable on Monday morning. Another thing that's irritating about Mondays is social media isn't usually as popping. This means that we can't even look forward to what's on Instagram or Black Twitter as much (ugh). Plus, if you're not exactly thrilled with your job and/or the people you work with, you can feel like you live in a hamster wheel—just going round and round your desk until the next Friday—which is hopefully a payday—rolls around again. Some things that suck about Mondays, we can't change. At the same time, there are things that we can do that will totally alter our perspective, no matter what is happening—or not happening—around us.
If for as long as you can remember, Mondays have been your least favorite day of the week, here's hoping that the following 10 suggestions can at least move it up into your Top Three. Ready?
1. Dress Up
A girlfriend of mine recently switched jobs. When I asked her what the dress code was at her new gig, she was moderately annoyed. "Girl, it's casual up in here. They've got on jeans and everything!" While a lot of us would find that to be an absolute dream, my friend is the kind of gal who likes to dress up to go to the grocery store. She says that it makes her feel regal, feminine and, with the right pair of pumps, pretty powerful too.
She's not weird to think that way.
According to some scientific research, while dressing down can sometimes lead to more productivity, dressing up can result in "higher abstract thinking". Plus, it's hard to be in a bad mood or not to feel uber confident when you know you're killin' the game on the style tip.
So, if you're someone who hates Mondays with a passion, psych yourself up by putting a little more effort into what you put on at the top of the week. You'll feel better. You'll probably perform better as a direct result too.
2. Go into Work Early
You don't even have to say it. I already know that some of y'all read this point and was like, "Shellie, what are you smokin'?" As if it's not hard enough to peel yourself out of bed, now I'm up here trying to get you to go in at least an hour earlier? Yep. I am. Here's why. By going into work early, there's a good chance that you can bypass a lot of your morning commute traffic. You can also get a heads up on your morning routine when it comes to checking phone calls and emails. If you never seem to be able to enjoy your breakfast, going to work early can probably make that easier for you. Without as many people in the office, you can get a few things done quicker, without any distractions. Not to mention the fact that walking in with your boss or even before them can earn you some pretty major cool points.
Hey, I didn't say that you should do it all of the time. I just said that Mondays are a good day to consider doing so because it can give you quite the leg up on having a productive rest of the week.
3. Post a New Quote on Your Computer or Desk
There's an author by the name of Shauna Niequist who once said, "It's not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What's hard is figuring out what you're willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about." Tell me that doesn't help you to put things into perspective. Another author by the name of T.F. Hodge once said, "To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles." Doesn't that encourage you to concentrate on your objectives more? One of my favorite quotes by Zora Neale Hurston is, "Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It's beyond me." How can that not remind you to love yourself?
Words have power. We all know this. What I adore about quotes is they are concise messages that can get into our brains and inspire us. I'd be shocked if you didn't already have a couple of quotes hanging around your work space. But in order to switch things up and motivate you in a different way, why not use Monday as the day to post one that is new? It's a great way to gas you up to do the next point that I'm about to mention.
4. Set a New Short-Term Goal for the Week
Personally, I like short-term goals because they help me from getting discouraged while I'm in the process of getting some long-term goals accomplished. But in the article "The Power of Setting Short-Term Goals", the author brings up some other benefits that are related to short-term goal-setting. It minimizes procrastination. It helps to keep you focused. And, it can give you quite the self-esteem boost; that's because, once your short-term goal is completed, you will end up with a profound sense of achievement.
What are some examples of short-term goals? Making lunch all week instead of eating out. Completing a project outside of work that will take your personal ambitions to the next level in the new year. Having that much-needed conversation with a family member or friend. Figuring out what you want your updated style to be over the next couple of months. Downloading some apps that will make you more productive. Getting to bed 30 minutes earlier. Finishing that book that has been taking you forever to read. Finally implementing a nighttime routine for your hair. Putting a budget together. Setting hours for social media engagement. I think you get my drift.
They say you've got to crawl before you walk and walk before you run. If you make it a point, once a week, to set at least one short-term goal on Monday with a deadline of Friday, you'll be amazed by how much you'll be able to get done within a few months. You really will.
5. Find a New Podcast
Is this about to be a shameless plug? Eh. Maybe a little, but it doesn't make the point any less relevant. I've got a friend who is an absolute podcast junkie. She digs them because of all of the new things that she's able to learn. There are some other reasons why you should get into podcasts too. They're free. You can listen to them while you're doing other things. They significantly improve your listening skills. They can also help you to connect with people because most podcasters have websites and many podcasters are open to networking.
Another way to make Monday your favorite day of the week is to seek out a new podcast to add to your personal library. One that immediately comes to mind is ours. It's calledxoNecole's Happy Hour Podcast and new episodes are uploaded on Wednesdays. If you're already ahead of the game and you're looking for a few more to add to your collection, a few articles that you might want to check out include "Top 25 Black Podcasts You Must Follow in 2019", "20 Must-Listen to Black Women Podcasts for 2019" and "Here Are 11 Black Female-Led Podcasts You Should Be Listening To".
Oh, and if you're someone who likes to watch podcasts that are filled with random insights on any and everything, check outDam Internet, You Scary , Aba & Preach , The Grapevine or Righteous and Ratchet. A cool relationship podcast from Black men's perspective isThe Roommates Podcast. A fave woman-related one is Shan Boody. A wonderful marriage and family-focused one is How Married Are You?!. Or, if you want a totally NSFW podcast (although you could put your headphones in and no one would know what you're up to), one that popped up in my YouTube feed a few months ago that had me like, "Wow. Y'all really said that?!" a few times—WHOREible Decisions. I could go on and on, but those are some that immediately come to mind. (If you've got some faves, feel free to leave them in the comments so we can check those out too.)
6. Treat Yourself to Lunch
Aight so, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average person spends around $3,000 a year, simply by going out to eat. While you might think that you aren't spending anywhere close to that amount, if you're going out for lunch every day and you're spending around ten bucks each time, that's already $50 a week and $200 a month. Just think about the kind of vacation you could take or the debts you could pay off (not to mention how much healthier it would be) if you stayed away from drive-thru windows and decided to bring your lunch to work instead?
If you do decide to take this route, treat your dedication and financial responsibility by letting Mondays be your "cheat day". Since you know that the rest of the week, you'll be in the break room or at your desk, set aside $20 to not only eat out but to eat at a restaurant that doesn't have a drive-thru window. Not only is this another way to turn Monday into a fave day, but since you'll be going in early on Mondays more often, it's a great way to get a change of scenery for an hour or so too.
7. Go to a Monday Happy Hour
After a productive day, you deserve to kick back and relax a bit. One way you can do that is by nixing the whole Wednesday or Friday happy hour plans; instead, hit up some of your friends and ask them to make at least one Monday a month y'all's happy hour tradition. If you need a little help figuring out which restaurants have a first day of the week happy hour, and also which ones offer the best deals, check out "22 Restaurants With Awesome Happy Hour Deals". (You're welcome.)
8. Do Something That Pampers You
A lot of us are wired to pamper ourselves towards the end of the week. I get why because it's basically like rewarding ourselves for getting to another Friday without losing our minds. But shouldn't you also reward yourself for heading into work after an absolutely fabulous—or even just rest-filled—weekend too? I totally agree. That's why I think you should consider scheduling your mani/pedi appointments on Mondays, that you plan out a totally luxurious bath on Mondays and/or that you stop by to pick up a wine that you've never tasted before on a Monday this month. Shoot, you and your significant other can even make Monday your nookie night.
Some of us find ourselves lagging all throughout the day because nothing is really motivating us to get our work done and get the heck up outta there. But if you know that a pamper—or great sex—date awaits, that will give you the extra "umph" that you need to finish everything in record time—so that you can get onto what makes Mondays super special in your world.
9. Watch a Favorite “Non-Monday” Show
A lot of us have a series that we've been meaning to catch-up on or a movie that we've been wanting to check out. If it seems like, no matter how hard you try, you are never able to carve out enough time, why not designate Monday as your binge day? Purposely set aside two hours in the evening to do nothing but sit on the couch with a favorite snack and to watch a film or a show that comes on a different day of the week. If you make this a standing appointment with yourself, you might be surprised how quickly Monday nights end up becoming your favorite night of the week too.
(By the way,Ambitions airs on Tuesday nights on OWN. If you keep missing it, make it your Monday show of the week.)
10. Toast Yourself
I'm a huge advocate of people toasting themselves as much as possible. Not to the point where they become a low-key functional alcoholic, but enough to remind themselves that they don't need a special occasion or monumental reason to take out a moment and remind themselves how absolutely bomb that they are.
The fact that you were able to get through yet another Monday and live to tell about it? That sounds like a good enough reason as any to toast yourself. Not just with any drink either. Why not come up with your own signature drink that you reserve for Mondays only? If you're worried that it could result in you having a hangover the next day, you best bet is to avoid drinks that contain congeners (that would basically be whiskey, cognac and tequila), that you drink lots of water following your one or two toasts, that you head to bed early and that you eat a healthy breakfast (in order to get your blood sugar levels back up) the following day.
If you do all of this, you should be able to have your cake and eat it too. Or, in the case, kick it on Monday and still be refreshed and ready for work on Tuesday. Happy Monday, y'all.
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Life-Changing Habits To Start Your Week Off Right
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
From a young age, she knew her dreams were too big for the Emerald City so after a quick trip to southern California it was only a matter of time before she called it home. “I’ve always wanted to leave Seattle. There wasn’t enough culture for me, and having grown up there, I knew every Black person, whether it was from school or church,” says Robinson. Immediately after obtaining her Bachelor's degree from the University of Washington, it was then she decided it was time to make her move. “I exhausted all the options, opportunities, and resources I thought I could get from living there and knew I had to leave eventually.”
After graduating from her Alma Mater as a first-generation college student, she chose to continue her education, completing her master's degree at USC. After entering the corporate world, she noticed a lack of information sharing within the Black community, which led to a strong desire to gather community peers, leaders, and experts through sit-down panel discussions. “In corporate spaces, white people are talking and sharing ideas with each other behind closed doors, and I felt Black people didn't have that same network, so I created that space where I saw the gap.”
“In corporate spaces, white people are talking and sharing ideas with each other behind closed doors, and I felt Black people didn't have that same network, so I created that space where I saw the gap.”
Receiving a little motivation from a friend, Conversations with Chanise was created in 2018 with the goal of hosting professional events people could resonate with. “A lot of the time, industry panels can feel dry and disconnected from our culture and community, so I wanted to build that network myself, using it as a platform for others to find knowledge, information, and resources needed to navigate corporate spaces, tools that I didn’t have.”
Continuing to climb in her career, in 2020, Chanise landed a role as a recruiter for one of the fastest-growing tech companies in the world, Snapchat Inc. During her time at the company, she held multiple roles from Recruiter, Diversity, Equality, and Inclusion manager, to eventually landing on the Venture Capital Team, a position that was given because of her impressive community efforts outside of work.
During this time, Conversations with Chanise evolved into Out Of Office due to the COVID-19 pandemic. “In 2020, I changed the name because we were working remotely. Working from home for two years, if you weren't fortunate enough to work for your company prior to the pandemic, then you didn't know your co-workers, especially other Black co-workers.” With the pandemic creating an even bigger challenge to the lack of networking amongst diverse employees, what began as events became a community for Black and Latinx employees from across a number of tech companies to come together and meet fellow peers from across the industry.
It wasn't until 2022 that OOO hosted its first brunch for Black History Month. The invite-only event hosted sixty-five people tech employees, complete with a five-course meal. “Eight people from Amazon attended the event, and that was the first time they had ever met each other, they were all Black.”
Earlier this year, there was an inclination of a soon-to-come recession, which hit the tech world head-on, causing many Americans to be affected. In May of 2022, Chanise was laid off from Snapchat after three and a half years. “I didn’t take the layoff personally. You would think that after being at a company for three years, you would be sad, but since my entire team got laid off, including the people that brought me on, it was just business.”
With a few inside connections, her unemployment was short-lived after receiving two job offers within the following weeks of her being let go. “A former manager on the recruiting team is now the Director of Talent and Acquisition at DoorDash. She reached out about the Senior Program Manager role and encouraged me to apply. All you need is a referral.” She describes this carefree moment of her life as funemployment. “I had another offer from a VC firm, I was on funemployment. I blew my severance check going to Miami buying tables at popular nightclubs, I was having a great time.”
"I didn’t take the layoff personally. You would think that after being at a company for three years, you would be sad, but since my entire team got laid off, including the people that brought me on, it was just business."
With two offers on the table, she went with DoorDash in late September of 2023 as a Senior Program Manager. She was indeed feeling like that girl. Less than 30 days into her new role, she woke up to an unexpected text that sent waves of uncertainty and doubt. Three weeks and two days after starting her new role, Chanise was included in a company-wide layoff.
“A former co-worker from Snapchat was also working at DoorDash at the time and called me at 6:00 a.m. informing me she was included in a company-wide layoff. At that moment, I just knew I couldn’t have been laid off, I just got here,” Chanise recounts. Quickly opening her emails, she saw the dreaded subject line 'Your Employment at DoorDash.' “This time, I was pissed. I was upset and in shock.”
Courtesy
“The first day I was still in positive spirits, it wasn't until the next day I woke up and realized this was real, and I was scared.” With the economic uncertainty looming, there was a mix of emotions. “A lot of times we talk about recessions, and we know what happened in 2008, but I was a kid in high school. Now I’m an adult, and I’ve been laid off twice. I know it’s not the skillset, and I know it's not my work ethic, so now I’m scared.” The most obvious question she had on her mind was, “What am I going to do?”
Being in such a vulnerable space of fear and uncertainty can bring back traumas buried within our deepest childhood memories. “Not only am I only a first-generation college graduate, but I grew up in a single-parent household,” Chanise details. “My mom's ex-husband had a drug problem, and by the time I was nine years old, my mom filed for bankruptcy, leading to my family and I living in a homeless shelter for a year.”
After being laid off, the possibility of being homeless was a looming fear, but it was only because of past trauma. “My work ethic and drive comes from never wanting to put myself in a position that I was in as a child. When you’re a kid, you don't have control over what happens to you, but I made a pact with God that I would always do whatever it took moving forward, and I would never be disqualified on paper.”
"My work ethic and drive comes from never wanting to put myself in a position that I was in as a child... I made a pact with God that I would always do whatever it took moving forward, and I would never be disqualified on paper."
With what seemed to be back-to-back failures, there were many conversations with God that led her to realize life happens fast and it’s up to us how we deal with it. “I’m in a situation where I can't blame anyone for what I’m going through, I can't say it's anyone else's fault, it just happens to be life.” As scary as it was to be without a job once again, this was a wake-up call for the steadfast entrepreneur. “It’s taught me a lot about the recession. It's understanding that it has nothing to do with me personally. It gave me fuel to never work for just one company at a time. You should always have multiple streams of income, and most of those streams should be things you can control at all times.”
Chanise began to realize that maybe this was the time to take her dreams for Out Of Office to the next level. “OOO was always something that I wanted to do full time, but I don’t think I would have pushed myself to be as full-time as quickly. The summit would have never been something I envisioned for myself to happen this year if I wasn’t laid off.”
Not one to back down from an opportunity, Chanise began to use what she had curated so well within her time in Los Angeles, her community. “I was listening to Kirk Franklin on The Breakfast Club podcast, and his message was to win wounded. When you're trying to cross the finish line in a race, sometimes people get hurt and want to give up, but even if you’re limping, you still need to cross the finish line.”
Wounded, she was still on a mission to fulfill the desires of her heart regardless of her situation. “Before I was laid off from DoorDash, there was a woman on the Diversity and Inclusion team who reached out, informing me they would like me to run their Black employee resource group because of my experience and what I was doing with my Out Of Office events.” She continues, “We had a meeting set for Friday and I was laid off Wednesday, two days before the meeting. Reaching out via LinkedIn, [I] informed her that my role had been eliminated; however, I would like to schedule a call to talk about OOO and what we can do.”
“During the meeting, I spoke with her about my vision to do a cross-company employee resource group summit, and it just so happened the company had plans for one the following year for internal employees. They loved that my vision was much bigger, so they decided to give me the money and let me run it instead.” And just like that, a full circle moment. The company that laid her off after three weeks of employment was giving her $45,000 to become the first official sponsor of her biggest corporate summit to date.
This was the momentum she needed to propel her into her destiny. “Even though I was sad, faith without work is dead,” says Chanise. “A lot of times, people let life stop them from pursuing their dreams, and they just give up, and you never know what it could have been.”
"Faith without work is dead. A lot of times, people let life stop them from pursuing their dreams, and they just give up, and you never know what it could have been."
Once the idea of the Employee Research Summit was to become a reality, there was a lot more work to be done. While planning for the ERG Summit, OOO was to host an upcoming event, and while excited about what was in the works, Chanise states, “I remember telling God I really don’t want to do this. This was the first time I charged people to come to a happy hour, and that’s not normally something I would do. I didn’t know if it was worth it and wanted to cancel, but I didn't.”
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After the event, she was approached by someone from Amazon’s Cross-Functional Strategic Marketing Team, who had consistently attended a number of OOO events. After a brief conversation, Chanise was informed of a sponsorship for professional development opportunities leading Amazon to become the second official sponsor, providing funds and a space to host her upcoming ERG summit. “At that moment, I knew God was telling me to 'keep going and I will provide all the resources.'”
"At that moment, I knew God was telling me to 'keep going and I will provide all the resources.'"
Fortunate to have really great friends, “I was in search of a keynote speaker, I reached out to Trell Thomas, founder of Black Excellence Brunch, who has a great relationship with Ms. Tina Knowles, among many other celebrity influencers. After discussing ideas and budget, he asked me who I’d like to speak at the event, and thinking it was a reach, I requested Ms. Tina.”
To Chanise’s surprise, Ms. Tina confirmed within a week. “She poured so much life into the audience with her message of not giving up or quitting no matter your age. Speaking to her felt like Sunday dinner, my spirit was full.” After a day full of corporate connections and panel discussions, as an added bonus, the summit wrapped up with an after-party performance by Eric Bellinger.
The Out Of Office ERG Summit was not just a moment to bridge the gap between culture and corporations but it was a culmination of hard work, faith, and determination. No matter what door closes, never be afraid of chasing your dreams. “Throughout this journey, I continued to pray. Lord, please send the resources and opportunities. Give me favor with people and help me do the work in which you have given me,” says Chanise. In the end, official sponsors for the summit included Amazon, Doordash, Snapchat, Google, YouTube, Jack Daniels, FIJI Water, and Bumble for Friends.
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As far as going back to work full-time, Chanise shares, “I’ll pray and apply for jobs, but I'll keep working as an entrepreneur. My level of faith has been elevated. What started out as doubt turned into crazy faith.”
On words of encouragement, Chanise advises, “Just keep going, even when you're sad or don’t believe in yourself. Find one person to talk to that you know is going to push and elevate you, an accountability partner. Even if you don’t believe in God, find a faith partner. Find someone who believes and has the faith that you don't, to speak it over you, carrying the faith for you when you can’t.”
This year, Chanise learned that what God has for her is for her, and she’s the only person who can stand in her way. “I’m in my own way sometimes. There's also a difference between providing and sustaining. God will provide you with just enough, and He’ll give you the wisdom and the resources to stretch it long enough for it to last. That's different from asking God to provide.
"We underestimate our creativity. God never gives you a finished project but He gives you the creativity, ideas, and resources to be able to build, sustain, and provide for you. It’s being able to tap into that.”
For more of Chanise, follow her on Instagram @conversationswithchanise.
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