It seems like just yesterday, I was singing along to Elle Varner's "Only Want To Give It To You" as it blared through the radio while cruising down the street. And let's not forget the countless times my girls and I blurted out the lyrics to "Refill" anytime we found ourselves at a restaurant. Varner's soulful voice and reflective yet catchy sounds undoubtedly provided a backdrop to some of my most memorable moments. And it's for that reason that I was excited to chat with her on a busy midweek afternoon, as she poetically and transparently spoke on life and love lessons she's learned over the last several years.
Like all of us, Elle wasn't and isn't exempt from let-downs and lessons that come with navigating the murky waters of love and relationships. And if her new EP, so aptly entitled Ellevation, is any indication of the growth she's undertaken, then fans are definitely in for a treat.
xoNecole got the chance to talk with Elle, where she dished on her musical evolution, personal boundaries, and what she needs to have in her next relationship. Here's what she had to say.
xoNecole: Your EP is called ‘Ellevation’ and for good reason, I’m sure. In what ways do you feel you’ve evolved both personally and musically?
Elle Varner: This, for me, was a big growth spurt and kind of an end of a chapter. I kind of liken it to a graduation, because when you come into the music industry professionally--it's a lot like being a freshman. Everything is exciting and new and then stuff gets hard, stuff gets challenging, tiring. But you have to push through those couple of years, then you're rewarded. You've not only completed this milestone, but you have all this knowledge and wisdom to take with you into the "real world". I definitely feel like I've graduated into that space as a woman, as an artist.
You mentioned in an Instagram post that this album had been a sort of healing agent for you. When you're going through a rough patch or combating self-doubt, what do you do to heal and get back to your highest self?
It's really about what's around you. You can't control certain life circumstances, but you can control the people you have around you, the types of food you intake, the type of energy you intake. So for me, one of those big changes was going to church on a regular basis and having a community in the church that really supported me. Reading books, watching TED Talks, all these things that feed you with nourishing uplifting experiences.
Elle Varner
"This, for me, was a big growth spurt and kind of an end of a chapter... You've not only completed this milestone, but you have all this knowledge and wisdom to take with you into the 'real world'. I definitely feel like I've graduated into that space as a woman, as an artist."
Your song “Kinda Love” is pretty straightforward and honest on the type of love you seek now in this season as opposed to what you may have tolerated in the past. What did your last serious relationship teach you about love?
It pointed me in the direction more so of self-love. From my very first relationship in high school up until now, I would say that love doesn't have to be complicated or possessive or consuming. It can be a complement to your life, something that enriches your life, and adds value in certain ways. But it shouldn't be something that consumes you completely, or makes you afraid or holds you back.
What boundaries have you put in place now to ensure that your next relationship is as enriching and valuable as you'd want it to be?
I think I have to come first honestly. When you think of all the extraordinary circumstances of being a woman: we're able to give birth, we carry life in us for nine months, we have to menstruate every 20-something days. And we still go to work and do the things everyone else has to do. So it's not to say that women are better, but it's to say that I'm fully okay with the feeling that my needs have to be super met and that I am a queen and need to be treated as such. That's it. I used to think that somehow that was a bad thing, but no. And I also have to have the kind of dynamic where he understands that I'm fully committed to my work, that this is a lifestyle for me. It's not just a job. I'm giving to so many people, so I need to be fulfilled in a way where it allows me to do that or I just have to leave it alone, you know?
If you could describe your ideal relationship in three words what would they be and why?
"Fun", "love", and "trust". I'm pretty easygoing, a fun person. But I think trust and love are important because people have to really deal with themselves in a way that allows them to be in a relationship with someone else and give them their all when it comes to love. I've experienced things where the person holds back or they were just not able to correct themselves--because they haven't dealt with certain issues. You want to be with someone who's kind of already resolved their issues or is able to come into the relationship whole. And I say "trust" because, you have to keep it real. I don't want you to paint a picture or tell me what I want to hear. I want you to present your truth and I can take it or leave it.
When you do find that whole person, how would you like your man to cater to you?
Right now I'm so focused on my goals and aspirations, I don't know if I have a whole lot of space for that. And I'm really okay with that. That's just the place I'm in, but anyone who does come into my life has to understand my commitment level to my work and not try to compete with that or feel slighted. It's nothing personal, it's just what I do. I'm doing ten interviews a day, running a business. I'm building a legacy.
"This was God's way of reminding me of how I laughed at doubters and kept going. He was reminding me of the perseverance I always had as a child, how I always went against the grain, and the fighter I always was. Who I am. He was reminding me of who I really am."
What do you know now about yourself that you didn’t know before?
There's this scene in Lion King where Mufasa says, "Remember who you are." And I think that, sometimes it's not that we change--it's that we forget who we are and why we started. And being on a public platform, having a public image and a lot of influence can definitely affect how you think of yourself. It might heighten your self-image, then you create an identity around how people see you. But I'm really glad that a lot of things were, for lack of a better phrase, taken away because at first it felt like, "Oh my God, oh my God." But then I realized, this was God's way of reminding me of how I laughed at doubters and kept going. He was reminding me of the perseverance I always had as a child, how I always went against the grain, and the fighter I always was. Who I am. He was reminding me of who I really am.
Featured image by Jennifer Johnson/Elle Varner
Ellevation is available to download and stream now on all platforms. And be sure to keep up with Elle by following her on Instagram.
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Then there were those who gave up their zip code altogether and found a permanent home in the skies. After years spent recruiting students for a university, Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare became a full-time travel influencer and founded her travel company, Shakespeare Agency. And she's not alone.
These stories mirror the experiences of women across the world. For millions, the pandemic induced a seismic shift in priorities and desires. Corporate careers that were once hailed as the ultimate “I made it” moment in one's career were pushed to the back burner as women quit their jobs in search of a more self-fulfilling purpose.
xoNecole spoke to these three Black women who used the pandemic as a springboard to make their wildest dreams a reality, the lessons they learned, and posed the question of whether they’ll ever return to cubicle life.
Answers have been edited for context and length.
xoNecole: How did the pandemic lead to you leaving the cubicle?
Randi: I was becoming stagnant. I was working in mortgage and banking but I felt like my personality was too big for that job! From there, I transitioned to radio but was laid off during the pandemic. That’s what made me go full throttle with entrepreneurship.
Gabrielle: I moved around a lot for work. Five times over a span of seven years. I knew I needed a break because I had experienced so much. So, I just quit one day. Effective immediately. I didn’t know what I was going to do, I just knew I needed a break and to just regroup.
Lisa-Gaye: I was working in recruiting at a university and my dream job just kind of fell into my lap! But, I never got to fully enjoy it before the world shut down in March [2020] and I was laid off. On top of that, I was stuck in Miami because Jamaica had closed its borders due to the pandemic before I was able to return.
Randi O
xoN: Tell us about your journey after leaving Corporate America.
Randi: I do it all now! I have a podcast, I’m an on-air talent, I act, and I own a public relations company that focuses on social media engagement. It’s all from my network. When you go out and start a business, you can’t just say, “Okay I’m done with Corporate America,” and “Let me do my own thing.” If you don’t build community, if you don’t build a network it's going to be very hard to sustain.
Gabrielle: I realized in New York, there was not a lot to do for Black lesbians and queer folks. We don’t really have dedicated bars and spaces so I started doing events and it took off. I started focusing on my brand, Raw Honey. I opened a co-working space, and I was able to host an NYC Pride event in front of 100,000 people. I hit the ground running with Raw Honey. My events were all women coming to find community and come together with other lesbians and queer folks. I found my purpose in that.
Lisa-Gaye: After being laid off, I wrote out all of my passions and that’s how I came up with [my company] Shakespeare Agency. It was all of the things that I loved to do under one umbrella. The pandemic pulled that out of me. I had a very large social media following, so I pitched to hotels that I would feature them on my blog and social media. This reignited my passion for travel. I took the rest of the year to refocus my brand to focus solely on being a content creator within the travel space.
Gabrielle
xoN: What have you learned about yourself during your time as an entrepreneur?
Randi: [I learned] the importance of my network and community that I created. When I was laid off I was still keeping those relationships with people that I used to work with. So it was easy for me to transition into social media management and I didn’t have to start from scratch.
Gabrielle: The biggest thing I learned about myself was my own personal identity as a Black lesbian and how much I had assimilated into straight and corporate culture and not being myself. Now, I feel comfortable and confident being my authentic self. Now, I'm not sacrificing anything else for my career. I have a full life. I have friends. I have a social life. And when you are happy and have a full quality of life, I feel like [I] can have more longevity in my career.
Lisa-Gaye: [I'm doing] the best that I've ever done. The discipline that I’m building within myself. Nobody is saying, ‘Oh you have to be at work at this time.’ There’s no boss saying, ‘Why are you late?’ But, if I’m laying in bed at 10 a.m. then it's me saying [to myself], 'Okay, Lisa, get up, it's time for you to start working!’ That’s all on me.
xoNecole: What mistakes do you want to help people avoid when leaving Corporate America?
Randi: You have to learn about the highs and lows of entrepreneurship. You have a fast season and a slow season and I started to learn that when you're self-employed the latter season hits hard. Don't get caught up on the lows, just keep going and don't stop. I’m glad I did.
Gabrielle: I think everyone should quit their job and just figure it out for a second. You will discover so much about yourself when you take a second to just focus on you. Your skill set will always be there. You can’t be afraid of what will happen when you bet on yourself.
Lisa-Gaye: When it comes to being an influencer the field is saturated and a lot of people suffer from imposter syndrome. There is nothing wrong with being an imposter but find out how to make it yours, how to make it better. If you go to the store, you see 10 million different brands of bread! But you are choosing the brand that you like because you like that particular flavor.
So be an imposter, but be the best imposter of yourself and add your own flair, your own flavor. Make the better bread. The bread that you want.
Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
xoNecole: Will you ever return to your 9 to 5?
Randi: I wouldn’t go back to Corporate America. But I don’t mind working under someone. A lot of people try to get into this business saying, “I can't work under anyone.” That’s not necessarily the reason to start a business because you're always going to answer to somebody. Clients, brands, there’s always someone else involved.
Gabrielle: I went back! I really needed a break and I gave myself that. But, I realized I’m a corporate girl, [and] I enjoy the work that I do. I’m good at it and I really missed that side of myself. I have different sides of me and my whole identity is not Raw Honey or my queerness. A big side of me is business and that’s why I love having my career. Now I feel like my best self.
Lisa-Gaye: I really don’t. For right now, I love working for myself. It's gratifying, it's challenging, it's exciting. It’s a big deal for me to say I own my own business. That I am my own boss, and I'm a Black woman doing it.
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Featured image courtesy of Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
Originally published on February 6, 2023