Kamie Crawford is not only a TV host, model and former Miss Teen USA, she's also the stylish, cool, calm and collected homegirl bestie that everyone wishes they had in their day-to-day life.
Her positive personality and charming wit shines through in her new role as MTV's Catfish co-host alongside Nev Schulman. Coming from a background in content development for beauty, fashion and luxury lifestyle brands from Swarovski, Lancôme, Dove, and Rent the Runway, Kamie's Catfish debut in front of the camera was nothing shy of the perfect fit for her love of pop culture and investigative journalism. When I asked her what word or phrase she would use to describe her new career turn, she simply replied, "My dream job."
Courtesy of Kamie Crawford
"I truly feel as though I was made for this position, and it's not to sound cocky – I just really love what I do and I love helping people and giving them my honest opinion," Kamie gushes about her new gig.
Being the oldest of six girls, giving nurturing sisterly advice is ingrained in her DNA - though it may be brutally honest, it always comes from a place of love and compassion. For any young woman who has been afraid to chase her dream job or make a career switch, Kamie advises to put action behind your desires and push the fear aside. "My mom always says, 'fear cancels out faith,'" she begins anecdotally. "If you want something and it's more than just an idea – it's a gnawing need that speaks to you every day when you wake up and before you go to sleep, what the f*ck are you waiting on?! You don't need an invitation to follow your dreams. You need action. So go for it, because one of the worst feelings in life is regret."
I had the opportunity and honor to speak with Kamie about all things Catfish set life, shutting down anxiety during the quarantine, and positively practicing stillness. Here's what she had to say.
Being the Hostess With the Mostest
Courtesy of Kamie Crawford
As a fan of the show since the original documentary's premiere at Sundance Film Festival, Kamie Crawford has been a faithful fan of the eight-season series and knew that the opportunity felt right from the beginning. Kamie practiced the art of manifestation and hard work to achieve her results, which were also sought after by other auditioning contenders for the role of Nev's new catfish-busting buddy.
Though she knew she had the credentials and the talent, like any other human being, her doubts and nerves came and went, but did not allow herself to be defeated by situations that had not yet arisen. "I didn't want to get my hopes up though because there were great hosts in the running for the position and after working in hosting for 7 years before this opportunity came about, you kind of learn to not get your hopes up in entertainment," Kamie explains.
"But something told me that this was my opportunity and if I wanted it, I needed to manifest it and speak life into it."
The life of this body positive advocate on-set varies depending upon the episode, as one would expect, but she enjoys every moment of being in her manifested destiny, from chilling with Nev and the gang to reading emails from their newest hopeful. "Everything you see as you watch an episode is in the order as it happened and in 'real-time'. There are no reshoots," she explains. "We will film for 7 hours per day and if travel is necessary, we will spend a day doing that and pick back up with filming in our new destination. Each episode takes around 3-5 days to film, depending and it's never boring."
It's not all work and no play, though. Kamie goes onto talk about cherishing the bonding moments between herself, Nev and the rest of the team between takes. "We typically will start at our production offices and film as we hang out, eat breakfast, etcetera. We like to make time for crew dinners and fun activities during the evenings – if I'm not fast asleep post-filming, I'm with Nev and the crew hanging out!"
Embracing the Slow Life
Courtesy of Kamie Crawford
Unfortunately, due to the COVID-19 pandemic sweeping the nation and large crowds being forbidden, stay-at-home orders have greatly affected those in the entertainment industry requiring shoots, reunion filmings and audience gatherings. For Kamie, a woman who is constantly on-the-go between creating dope content and being one of MTV's newest faves to hit the screen, quarantine has been a hit or miss for her newly adjusted style of living. "It has been really hard. [It's] definitely getting better though, and there are good days and bad days! I'm a homebody as is so I try to take time off for myself in between all of my work responsibilities. While I have zero routine in my quarantine life, my normal life is actually very routine," Kamie describes.
Most of us, especially as creatives, are teetering between thankful thoughts of resting everyday and being ansty from developing stage one of stir crazy, Kamie is strategically utilizing her time indoors to practice stillness throughout the government issued stay-at-home orders. While a lot of us, myself included, are using this time to shove everything into this quarantine period that we never had time for prior to, Kamie believes that everyone should just do what's best for them and not fall victim to the pressures of social media. "Even outside of quarantine, social media will make you believe that everyone is busier, more fit, more beautiful and more motivated than you are. Everyone is perfect and they have the handbook for 'How to Deal with Quarantine During A Pandemic' that the rest of us just didn't get. Trust me - I checked my mailbox – twice. It ain't in there," Kamie facetiously adds.
"There is so much pressure right now to be your best self during quarantine and accomplish all of the big and little tasks you put off up until now. I'm a person who if it doesn't feel good to me, I'm not doing it. As a Scorpio - I'm either all in, or I'm out. That's how I feel about creating during this time. It just doesn't feel right. I've postponed campaigns because advertising anything right now that doesn't directly benefit those who are suffering or our essential workers gives me the ick. No shade to anyone who is – I know influencers still have to work and earn a living, but for me, that just isn't where my heart is right now."
Mastering the Art of Self-Care
Courtesy of Kamie Crawford
When she's not mastering her new craft in the kitchen, Kamie takes time to turn her attention to work obligations, but fortunately, none of which require immediate responses or assistance. Clearing out her inbox one email at a time is a small form of self-care that she integrates into her newly acclimated work from home routine. "[I've been] sending a lot of, 'Sorry for the delayed response, been taking time away for my mental health' replies – and I think people understand because everyone is dealing with the same thing right now. "
When it comes down to a 'routine' for working from home, I think we can all safely admit that none of us have the exact formula that works for us everyday. Kamie herself admits that taking everything day-by-day and taking care of her mental health is a priority during the quarantine, even if it means praying, crying, watching Netflix as soon as she wakes up or all of the above. "Each day is different and I try to go into each morning with a refreshed and positive outlook. I want to try staying away from the news updates, but I also feel that knowledge is power. It's just difficult because the news changes every hour it seems like," Kamie tells me.
"I've been giving myself permission to wake up naturally, which helps a lot during this chaotic time. Sometimes the body's best way of healing is through resting. I'm not going to lie – I've been getting out of bed when I feel like it and just taking it from there. If I want to work out or go for a walk, I'll do that. If I want to lay in bed and watch funny Tik Toks until 2pm, I'll do that. I haven't gotten into the habit of creating a 'routine' during this quarantine yet, and I'm perfectly fine with that as of now."
Her mental health takes precedence and priority as she combats the anxiety linked to the pressures of "staying on top" everyday, even with our limited resources. "My anxiety has been through the roof, but I notice that it worsens when I'm being told or made to feel like I'm not doing enough," Kamie confides in the interview, as are most of us being pressured into feeling, thanks to our dear friend Imposter Syndrome. "If you're going through something similar, I recommend unfollowing that account for now or telling that person, 'Hey, I know you mean well and appreciate your suggestion because that's what works for you. I'm going to focus on doing whatever works for me at this time.'"
For those of us who haven't necessarily put ourselves, including mind and spirit, on the forefront of our agenda, now is the time to monitor your mental health. "So much is happening in the world, and for people who have already been struggling with mental health issues, this time can be even more triggering. I've been waking up each morning and thanking God for letting me see another day, keeping my loved ones safe and healthy, thanking Him for my health and just acknowledging the fact that I am OK, and that's a blessing within itself," she praises.
For more of Kamie, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Kamie Crawford
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Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
My hair is not exempt. Boy, the more I am intentional about achieving some real hair length, the more research I like to do when it comes to giving my tresses exactly what they need — this includes what’s required from season to season.
That’s what this article is all about. With fall officially being a week away, I wanted to give you some time to get your hair and your coins ready to provide it just what it needs so that it can adjust nicely to cooler (and oftentimes wetter) weather.
1. Comb More than Brush
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Although this one might sound a bit odd, hear me out. So long as you use the right kind of brush (a detangling one and/or a boar bristle brush), there are benefits that come with brushing your hair. Brushing helps stimulate your scalp and distribute natural oils to coat your hair strands, and brushing can get rid of natural hair strands that shed on a daily basis. However, the reason you might want to comb (or pick) more than brush during the fall season is because the semi-drastic shifts in temperature tend to create a jet stream that brings more wind and rain.
And when it’s damper outside, that can make your hair frizzier — and what can add to the frizz is brushing your locks because it separates each strand, which makes it easier for the cuticles on them to stand up and out (when hair isn’t frizzing up, the cuticles are smooth). Since the process of combing helps to keep your strands more “clumped together,” which can reduce frizz, it’s a hairstyling hack to keep in mind…if frizz is something that you want to avoid, that is.
2. Avoid Hair Drying Products
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Speaking of controlling frizz, here’s another tip to keep in mind. Did you know that the main reason why frizz happens in the first place is because hair lacks moisture? Basically, the tiny “scales” that cover each strand, when there is no frizz, they lie down smoothly. Oh, but when there’s some frizzing going on, they stand all over the place. Since our hair is usually naturally drier anyway (because the sebum from our scalp has a harder time coating our strands from root to tip due to our curly hair texture), our hair frizzes up more than most. That’s why we have to be hypervigilant about keeping moisture in it.
And why is this relevant during the fall season? Well, if there’s more rain, this means that water evaporates into the air, and when the hydrogen bonds from the water connect with the protein in your hair, that can cause frizz, especially if/when your hair is already dry. That’s why it’s important to avoid hair products that have drying agents in them — ones like alcohol, sulfates, polyethylene glycol, ammonia (which is what’s in a lot of hair dyes), and dimethicone (a type of silicone) — for starters.
3. Apply a Leave-In Conditioner
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If you’re looking for a proactive way to keep moisture in your hair, you can never go wrong with a water-based leave-in conditioner. What I like about them is they’re a quick way to add some moisture and softening agents to my hair in between wash days (which is my deep conditioning day). The way that I apply it is I add a couple of dabs to my hair at night before I put my hair in 2-6 plaits (in order to keep my hair stretched without heat).
By morning, the leave-in is dry, so I can style my hair without worrying about whether the dampness from the leave-in will cause my hair to look curlier than I might want it to be. As far as some of the best leave-ins (for curly hair) that are currently on the market, you can check out a few recommendations here, here, and here.
4. Use Hair Masks and Hot Oil Treatments
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To tell you the truth, hair masks are something that should be used year-round. That’s because they add hydration, smooth hair cuticles, help to prevent split ends, strengthen hair follicles, keep your scalp healthy, and make your hair soft to the touch. As far as hot oil treatments are concerned, they’re great at repairing hair damage, reducing frizz, adding shine to color-treated hair, soothing scalp irritation (including the kind that is the result of dandruff,) and also keeping split ends from getting out of hand.
When it comes to how often you should treat your hair to a mask or an oil treatment, my two cents would be to alternate wash days — meaning, one wash day, go with a hair mask, and on the next, use a hot oil treatment. You can get some solid tips for how to DIY a hair mask by watching the videos here and here and how to do your own hot oil treatment by watching the video here and here.
5. Try Color-Depositing Shampoos and Conditioners
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If you’re someone who likes to play with hair color, I definitely think that the fall is better than the summer to do it; that’s because the summer season brings a lot of heat that can dry out your hair, which can result in serious damage to dyed strands. Since the fall season is cooler, current trending colors like chestnut brown, wine, and bold highlights can have your hair looking amazing without compromising its health (quite as much).
If you want to keep your color lasting longer so that you don’t have to retouch it (and dry your hair out anyway) quite so often, invest in some color-depositing shampoos and conditioners. They’re basically semi-permanent hair products that will serve as a “top coat of color” for your hair for 10-15 wash days.
I’ve tried them before and, especially the conditioners, have done wonders as far as adding depth and shine to my hair without compromising its health. Cosmo has some shampoo recommendations here. Byrdie has some conditioner recommendations here.
6. Put Shampoo in Your Hair Dye
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I wish I could remember where I learned this hack from, but just trust me when I say that it’s a TOTAL game-changer. It can’t be said enough that one of the biggest misconceptions that a lot of us have when it comes to our hair is that Black hair doesn’t grow long. The hell you say. Although genetics do somewhat play a role (for sure), the reality is a lot of us don’t see inches because our hair breaks off as fast as it grows — and that’s because we don’t take care of our ends as well as we should.
Case in point, since our ends are the oldest parts of our hair, if you plan on coloring your hair (especially if you’re about to retouch your color), your ends need to be color-treated the least — one, because they are already fragile and two, because they already have some color on them (if you’re coloring for the first time).
That said, one way to give your ends a ”once over” of color (for added depth) while damaging them as little as possible is to put some shampoo in your hair dye once you’ve already colored the rest of your hair. As you’re preparing to rinse the dye out, use that shampoo to penetrate your ends for about five minutes before thoroughly washing your hair without shampoo that has no dye in it (make sure that it’s sulfate-free).
Your ends will get a coat of color, and you won’t have to worry about stripping them of the natural oils that they need to keep from breaking off. Brilliant.
7. Don’t Forget the Thermal Heat Protectant
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Hands down, I think the best time of year to get some longevity out of a blowout is the fall season. That’s because, since it’s cooler outside, that means less sweating, which means your strands are able to stay stretched out for longer periods of time. Now, this doesn’t mean that you should just go ham with your blow dryer and flat iron on a daily basis — but you should be able to pull off a few blowouts before Christmas without any hair damage…so long as you deep condition your hair and apply a thermal heat protectant before applying any heat.
Although some come in sprays and others in creams, my recommendation is “Option B” because it tends to coat our hair better. You can check out a few options to go with here. And as far as how to create the perfect blowout on natural hair, some YouTubers can walk you through it step-by-step. Check out this one (here), this one (here), this one (here), this one (here) and this one (here).
8. Get Some Hair Serum
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Even though I did say earlier that a type of silicone can dry out your hair, that doesn’t make every silicone on the planet the devil. The reality is that serums, which are made from silicones, can be beneficial when it comes to extending the dye in your hair, preventing heat damage, increasing hair elasticity, detangling your hair, and definitely adding some major sheen and shine to it. That’s why you can never go wrong with hair serum being the “final touch” to your blowouts.
InStyle has some of their top serum picks here. Some keys to making hair serum work best for you are to take the “less is more” approach, to warm it up a bit beforehand (to keep it from going on so thick), and to not go more than ten days without washing your hair if you’ve applied the serum more than a couple of times; otherwise, you run the risk of dryness and breakage, if you’re not careful.
9. Oil Your Ends
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Wool. Flannel. Corduroy. Hemp. Microfleece. Something that all of these fabrics have in common is they help to keep us warm. Problem is, that they can be really drying (and snag-inducing) when it comes to the ends of your hair. That’s why it’s a really good idea to be intentional about oiling the ends of your hair on the days when you know that they are going to be out.
Grapeseed, avocado, jojoba, sweet almond, and rosehip oil are all potent enough to keep your hair moisturized while being light enough to not weigh your hair strands down. Or you can use a hair oil blend. Although I personally don’t have locs, there is an Etsy store called The Loc Shop NYC that carries some oil combos that I’m a huge fan of — they penetrate my hair for days on end, and the scents are amazing. You can check ‘em out here.
By the way, some gentler fabrics that can also warm you up as they are kinder to your locks include cashmere, cotton, polyester, and, believe it or not, silk.
10. Invest in More Hats
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Hats are my jam — everyone who knows me knows it. They’re great for bad hair days. They are awesome fashion accessories. And they can keep your head warm on the coolest of days in the coldest way possible (see what I did there?). That’s why you couldn’t tell me a damn thing when my new, large, gray Fedora came in the mail last week. After doing some internet skimming, it looks like bucket hats, newsboy hats, baseball caps, beanies, and berets are gonna be all the rage this fall season. Hmph. Betta get you some. Hats can shave off 15-20 minutes of your morning-get-ready routine. EASILY.
BONUS: Get a New Umbrella
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Many days have started out a good hair day and then turned into an epic fail because either someone forgot their umbrella or the one they have is so old and tattered that it didn’t do them much good anyway. For this very reason, not too long ago, I copped myself one of those clear bubble umbrellas, and my hair couldn’t be more thrilled! As a bonus, not only does it keep my hair perfectly dry, but it also covers enough of my body that I can enjoy outdoor events in drizzling weather without getting the top half of my clothes wet, too. It’s the truest must-have fall accessory, no doubt about it.
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There you have it: ten things that can get — and keep — your hair right this coming fall.
Don’t say a sistah wasn’t looking out. #wink
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