As the saying goes, "The truth shall set you free" and the Full Moon Lunar eclipse in the beginning of the month serves to do just that. Our favorite planet, Mercury, joins the retrograde party mid-month, pulling us into the tide of emotions that we're learning how to navigate better with the help of the New Moon Solar eclipse on the 21st. Once Neptune goes retrograde, we'll be seeing things a little differently as the rose-colored glasses come off. By the end of the month, Mars gives you the drive to turn your fantasies into reality.
Check out more below to see what's going on in the cosmos this month for your sign!
Aries
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleThe beginning of the month kicks off with a Full Moon Lunar eclipse, giving you the oomph you need to push past limiting beliefs that you learned from more "knowledgeable" people in your life. Wisdom comes from personal experience and it's time for you to seek answers from your own inner guru. When Mercury goes retrograde on the 18th, discussions about renovations, relocating, or family planning will be prominent in the weeks to come. The New Moon Solar eclipse on the 21st signifies a big overhaul of unresolved emotions, and intergenerational trauma, related to family members—specifically the mother figure in your life.
On the 23rd, Neptune goes retrograde, helping you receive clarity on life's mysteries through your dream time and meditation. When Venus goes direct on the 25th, you'll be getting clearer about where you and bae are headed. Near the end of the month, your ruling planet finally moves into your sign, gifting you with a much-needed boost of energy to accomplish the million and one goals you've set for yourself. It's time to roll up your sleeves and get to work! On the 30th, an aspect between Jupiter/Pluto awakens you to deeper levels of your personal power. Just be mindful of going head-to-head with authority figures and even people that look up to you. With greater power comes greater responsibility.
Taurus
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The month begins with the Full Moon Lunar eclipse gifting you some much-needed perspective about a significant experience that impacted you negatively. You might have walked through the fire but you've come out on the other side unscathed—a phoenix rising from the ashes in all its majesty. On the 18th, Mercury goes retrograde, inviting you to take a softer approach when it comes to communicating your needs. Remember, babe, you'll catch more flies with honey. Oftentimes, the way we communicate with others is merely a reflection of our own inner dialogue and this New Moon Solar eclipse can help you move past some critical, harsh self-talk to opt for more compassion instead.
On the 23rd, Neptune goes retrograde, offering a different perspective about your friends and how you fit into the bunch. If you've had someone up on a pedestal, this transit may be a bit of a reality check when it comes to their true intentions towards you. Your ruling planet, Venus, goes direct on the 25th and you'll be feeling a lot more confident about your investments and money-making endeavors moving forward, especially if you spent the retrograde brushing up on your knowledge and expertise. On the 27th, Mars enters Aries and you may find it more difficult to express your anger during this time. Dig deeper into your frustrations and maybe you'll find that your anger is really just a feeling of powerlessness, unprocessed grief, or even boredom.
Gemini
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleJune kicks off with a bang, thanks to the Full Moon Lunar eclipse in your opposite sign, Sag, bringing your focus to relationships. You're closing out a big cycle when it comes to a specific partnership or just your relationship patterns as a whole. Just remember that with an ending awaits a new beginning on the other side. On the 18th, Mercury goes retrograde, giving you a chance to tune into more emotionally fulfilling ways of making money. On the 21st, the New Moon Lunar eclipse transforms your self-esteem by granting you the gift of perspective. As the saying goes, "One man's trash is another man's treasure." Let the past roll off your back and remember who the f*ck you are!
On the 23rd, Neptune retrograde attempts to clear the fog when it comes to your public image and career. Any deceptive energy within your professional life will be exposed during this transit. Stay on the up and up by prioritizing authenticity and try not to take it personally if someone you're working with hasn't been as real as you initially thought. Venus finally goes direct on the 25th, giving you some forward momentum when it comes to money and love. When Mars moves into Aries on the 27th, you're focused on the collective. You could even find yourself leading a group or inspiring others to be the change they want to see in the world.
Cancer
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleThe beginning of the month gives you a much-needed kick in the ass to break through some bad habits that are keeping you from living your best (and healthiest) life. The Full Moon Lunar eclipse not only requires you to adjust your approach to your wellness but also your schedule as well. Your mantra? "I am flexible and open to change." On the 18th, Mercury begins its retrograde through your sign which could bring some missed opportunities back around (and maybe a pesky ex as well). After a year of eclipses in your sign, you're finally experiencing the last one for some years to come on the 21st. Are you ready to ascend to higher levels? Either get with the program or get dragged 'cause change is here, baby.
On the 23rd, Neptune joins the retrograde party, debunking any idealizations you've made of someone in a position of spiritual authority. Get in touch with your own spiritual truth before blindly following another. The planet of love finally goes direct on the 25th, gifting you the clarity you need about past lovers and relationship patterns that you've outgrown—particularly when it comes to communicating your needs. Make things about you for once, please. On the 27th, Mars enters Aries, getting you geared up when it comes to your career and public image. How can you take more control of your success? Dig in those heels and get to work.
Leo
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleYour sister sign is getting you together with a Full Moon Lunar eclipse on the 5th. Creativity and romance take front and center stage—marking a time of endings or beginnings. These eclipses are wild cards so hang loose, baby, and TRUST that whatever happens is realigning you with your destiny. On the 18th, Mercury goes retrograde, giving you a chance to make peace with some sh*t that just ain't cuttin' it for you anymore. Don't be surprised if your ex pops up, in real time or in your dreams, wanting to give it another go. Recognize the lesson and set them (and you) free. On the 21st, the New Moon Solar eclipse brings through the final sweep of what you cannot take into your new year with you. You've got big things to accomplish and you can't do it with all of that baggage weighing you down.
On the 23rd, Neptune goes retrograde, inviting you to uncover the secrets within yourself (or someone you thought you knew). It's "Mask Off" season and now is the time to separate the real from the fake. On the 25th, Venus goes direct, helping to smooth out communication amongst your social circle. You're finally feeling like more of your bubbly self, ready to rub elbows with the movers and shakers of your community. The energy is in high drive towards the end of the month when Mars moves into Aries. The travel bug has got you ready to forget about the Rona to embark on that tropical getaway. If you're a writer or teacher, you should have no problem cranking out content during this transit. Use it to your advantage!
Virgo
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleHome and family matters are top priority at the beginning of the month, thanks to the Full Moon Lunar eclipse. It's time to revamp your space or find a new one that's a better fit for your growing needs (or family). On the 18th, Mercury goes retro, giving you a chance to catch up with old friends and some old dreams as well. Yes, Virgo, daydreaming is productive as well. It's called creative visualization and it's your best friend this month. Around the middle of the month, the New Moon Solar eclipse helps you wipe the slate clean and reimagine what your ideal tribe looks (and feels) like. Although you may be saying goodbye to an old friend, trust that you're just creating space for a new connection that's more of your vibe.
On the 23rd, Neptune joins the retrograde mash up, helping you sift through the fog of any personal relationships. It's time to see someone for what they really are—a human—so stop projecting your perfectionism onto them and getting upset when they don't meet your expectation. Look, we don't all share a Sun sign with THEE Beyoncé, so everybody can't be perfect all of the time. Compassion, Virgo. Also, realism. On the 25th, Venus finally goes direct, helping you attract opportunities that will land you in a position of power and influence. Things are getting hot and sexy for you when Mars, a.k.a. your libido, enters Aries, encouraging you to sex it out, sweat it out, or work it out.
Libra
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month begins with a Full Moon Lunar eclipse is bringing the change when it comes to the way you communicate with yourself and others. This is a good time to promote yourself, your truth, and that book you've been working on behind the scenes. On the 18th, Mercury goes retrograde where the conversation is focused on work and tying up loose ends on a project you've been neglecting. The New Moon Solar eclipse on the 23rd could result in some unexpected career recognition or a change in your life path that's in alignment with your evolving needs.
On the 23rd, Neptune goes retrograde and the rose-colored glasses come off. This transit can be revealing when it comes to hidden enemies—particularly those in the work environment. This is also a supportive time to kick any bad habits like smoking, drinking, or obsessing over guys that just aren't good for you. On the 25th, Venus goes direct and your wanderlust has got you ready to brave the Rona to take that girls' trip you've been planning since last year. Things are heating up for you towards the end of the month when Mars enters your relationship house. You know what you want and you're not afraid to take charge. That whole diplomatic "door-mat" approach just won't cut it for you during this transit. It's OK to have it your way for once.
Scorpio
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleJune kicks off with the Full Moon Lunar eclipse inviting you to make some financial changes. Important conversations may arise about the shared resources. Try to find a happy middle ground but don't be surprised if the Universe dissolves a financial partnership that isn't serving either party involved. Remember the eclipse season mantra—"Out with the old, in with the new". On the 18th, Mercury goes retrograde, encouraging you to revisit an old project you've been working on especially in the realm of writing and educational content. The New Moon Solar eclipse on the 21st comes through to help you wipe out limiting beliefs that make you hide your gifts from the world. A sudden opportunity to present your work on a larger platform can present itself.
On the 23rd, Neptune joins the retrograde party, helping you see your romantic prospect(s) more clearly. Is it true love or is it just a fling? You'll receive the clarity you need in the months to come. Emotions will be at a high during this time so channel that energy into creating something. On the 25th, Venus goes direct, possibly landing you a settlement or some money owed to you. If your intimate connections have been challenged over the past couple of months, things should start smoothing out moving forward. Fiery Mars enters Aries on the 27th, turning you into a gym rat for the rest of the year (and a drill sergeant when it comes to your schedule and diet). You need to feel your best to maintain the energy needed to build your empire!
Sagittarius
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleIt's all about you in the beginning of the month with the Full Moon Lunar eclipse in your sign. As you begin to prioritize your needs more, this may cause a little friction between you and others. Focusing on yourself isn't synonymous with harming someone else. On the 18th, Mercury goes retro and the conversation runs deep between you and the special people in your life as the intimacy levels grow stronger. If you're dealing with some emotional hang ups, this is a perfect time to schedule an appointment with a therapist. The New Moon Solar eclipse in this same part of your chart serves as the gateway to your healing and redemption.
On the 23rd, Neptune goes retrograde, helping you see clearly into your family dynamics. Did you grow up under the illusion that nurturing and tenderness is for weaklings? Well, maybe now it's time for you to stop resisting exactly what you've always needed to blossom into the best version of yourself. On the 25th, Venus finally goes direct, clearing up communication issues between you and bae while also helping you secure that contract that you've been negotiating. At the end of the month, Mars enters Aries, where it'll be for the rest of the year. Your desire for creative expression, romance, and adventure is heightened during this transit. It's time to unwind and have some fun, Saggie!
Capricorn
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month kicks off with you burning bridges to your past, thanks to the Full Moon Lunar eclipse. Surrender or be dragged, sis. You can kick and scream all you want but when the Universe is ready to help you level up by any means necessary. On the 18th, Mercury goes retrograde, giving you the chance to renegotiate contracts and redefine your boundaries within relationships. Where have you been giving too much to others and not enough to yourself (or vice versa)? The New Moon Solar eclipse on the 21st makes it clear as to who's good for you and who's not. Changes in your relationships, professional included, are bound to occur.
On the 23rd, Neptune goes retrograde, granting you the gift of clarity through some insightful conversations you'll be having in the months to come. Don't be surprised if you uncover some hidden information about your sibling getting hitched during the Rona pandemic. Once Venus goes direct on the 25th, you're focused on your health and well-being, making this a good time to learn about a new fitness regimen or detox program. Towards the end of the month, fiesty Mars enters Aries, putting your home renovation or relocation plans in overdrive. On the 30th, Jupiter and Pluto join forces to help you integrate some much-needed gems of wisdom that can propel you forward in a more empowered way.
Aquarius
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleYour social circle needs a bit of a revamp and the Full Moon Lunar eclipse is here to help with that. Whether you're kicking dusty "friends" to the curb or simply exploring new options, it's important that you align with folks that are intent on loving you in all of your truth—the good, the bad, and the ugly. On the 18th, Mercury goes retrograde, encouraging you to nurture your mental and physical health. Drink plenty of water and opt for more gentle forms of exercise, like a stroll through your neighborhood or yoga in the park. The New Moon Solar eclipse comes through on the 21st, helping you overcome that sweet tooth or your overindulgence in wine.
Towards the end of the month, Neptune goes retrograde, bringing you back down to earth when it comes to your spending habits. It's great that you trust the Universe to provide for all of your needs but don't be out here spending recklessly. On the 25th, Venus goes direct and you're ready for some summertime fun (and romance). Get creative and see what adventures you and bae can get into in the midst of the Rona. On the 27th, Mars enters Aries, gifting you with the courage to talk yo sh*t. You're feeling more bold and confident when it comes to expressing yourself and all of your unconventional beliefs. Gon' head and shake the table, babe! Your conviction has the potential to inspire the masses (or at least your social media following).
Pisces
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleThe beginning of the month brings changes to your career trajectory and public image. A sudden opportunity can open a new door for you, or you could finally be getting the recognition you deserve. On the 18th, Mercury goes retrograde, making it the perfect time to revisit that old creative hobby or project you've been neglecting. The New Moon Solar eclipse will definitely have you in your feels. You'll need a healthy outlet for channeling all of those emotions into sappy love songs or heartfelt breakup anthems. Rekindling romance may also be on your mind (or an ex of yours who's waiting for the right moment to pounce).
On the 23rd, Neptune goes retrograde, helping you get clear on your boundaries as well as your personal identity. You have a tendency to enmesh with everyone and everything around you. This transit will help you separate what is yours and what is everyone else's. As empathic as you are, it's important that you allow other people to manage their own problems. You've got other things to concern yourself with, like planning your Zoom housewarming party or doing your Googles for that new home entertainment system you want. On the 27th, Mars enters Aries, giving you a much-needed kick in the ass to get your money right. It's time to bring all of those great ideas of yours into reality and you'll have plenty of energy to do just that.
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RELATED
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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Either way, we’re breaking down how to harness the alluring black cat energy to attract and cultivate your purrrfect match, or how to deepen your current relationship.
What is Black Cat Energy?
Black cat energy has made a splash all over TikTok since 2021 where users have popularized “the black cat/golden retriever” theory based on the notorious attributes of felines and pups.
Pet owners and those who have had the pleasure of engaging with furry friends know that cats tend to have personality traits of being more independent, cautious, and unbothered until they develop a relationship with you – then you’ll be graced with their loveable side – whereas dogs, much like golden retrievers, are often overly excited to see you, bursting with happy energy, and seeking your affection, even if they just met you.
Black cats especially possess an elusive, regal, and pompous vibe that makes them irresistible. You can’t simply win these mysterious creatures over with your mere presence. You’ll have to earn their affection.
And if by a stroke of luck, they open up to you, they’ll always keep you wanting more of them. That same je ne sais quoi is what TikTokers are raving about, claiming that if you channel black cat energy into your love life, you’ll summon the person of your dreams and make them fall in love with every part of you.
What’s more, according to The Spruce Pets, single women in Japan who own black cats are believed to attract more suitors. In parts of Great Britain, a black cat is the quintessential wedding gift because they’re believed to bring good luck and happiness to the bride.
Why the Black Cat/Golden Retriever Dynamic Works
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Anyone can be the black cat or the golden retriever in the relationship, but TikTokers and some relationship experts say the best way to ensure long-lasting compatibility is for the woman to be the black cat, while the man exudes golden retriever tendencies.
Dating coach Anwar White solidifies finding the yin to your yang, instructing women to find their complement. “Most people look to date their clone and you’re going to need to date looking for your compliment – that is what is going to bring you the most success.”
In the 14 years he’s been a dating coach, he shared the best complementary personalities that make for a good match. “If you’re a type A, boss babe, you’re going to be looking for the optimistic golden retriever guy. This is the guy that wants to get done whatever you want to get done. This is the engineer, the federal employee, or an architect. It’s very much black cat/golden retriever vibes.”
No matter what stage you’re at in your love life, it’s never too late to transition from subservient golden retriever to omnipotent black cat.
TikToker @jaclyn.dasilva explains that she used to be in her golden retriever energy in her marriage – catering to her husband, and what he needed and liked until she learned how to epitomize the black cat energy.
“We have this beautiful energy as women. When we learn to put all that beautiful, nurturing energy into ourselves that is when they want us. That is when they chase us. Now I think about what I want to eat. What do I want to drink? What book do I want to read? And I put my energy into myself.”
She continues, “And now he’s the one chasing me. He’s the one who can’t get enough of me. When we see ourselves as the prize, that is when he sees us as the prize. Stop chasing him. Let him chase you. Be about you, he’ll be about you.”
How To Embody The Black Cat Principles In Your Dating Life
Dating and maintaining a flourishing relationship in today’s technology-driven world is no easy feat. We have abundantly more access to swipe right or left on apps, or serendipitously meet a great catch in person than our parents and grandparent’s generations.
And yet, with all the potential options, somehow it seems more difficult to stumble across Mr. or Mrs. Right or to maintain a long-term symbiotic relationship. Fortunately navigating dating and relationships becomes easier when you know exactly who you are–your different quirks, flaws, and assets–and when you keenly understand the little things that titillate your world and accept the nuances and icks of a person that you know are not aligned with you.
A woman relishing in her black cat energy and femininity knows exactly what she wants and needs and doesn’t detour from who she is for anyone. These are the qualities of black cat women:
High Standards
Nothing says you’re the main character or HBIC like flaunting high standards and sticking to them.
TikToker Anna Kristina, the self-proclaimed creator of the "black cat theory" shared how to become the ultimate black cat and have men eating from the palm of your hand. “You have to be inconvenient. You have to be bitchy. You have to have standards and certain expectations. The higher the expectations, and the more unrealistic, the better.”
Elusiveness
Relationship TikToker Tomisin Atobatele offers women insights into the essence of being elusive. "I want you to stop being eager to tell men everything you’re thinking and feeling, and especially tell men exactly what you desire. If a guy asks you what you want out of a guy, or what you’re looking for, I want you to be vague…When you’re vague, and someone’s interested in you, it forces them to do work in order to get those answers.”
"And just that fast, you’ve created a scenario where he’s thinking about you," he added. "He’s thinking about your needs. He’s thinking about your wants and desires. And in the process of him thinking about your wants and desires, his focus is on you.”
Firm Boundary Setter
Self-preservation, respect, and overall happiness stem from healthy boundaries. A woman basking in black cat energy knows exactly when and how to implement boundaries. Black cats have boundaries. They will let you know when they are done getting petted," said TikToker Marian Bacol.
“They will let you know when they want to give you attention. They will stare you down if they are done with you. They are clear on their boundaries and they’re not afraid to enforce it. They don’t give love and affection to anyone and everyone the way that dogs do. Cats are more selective and that’s how you have to be with your energy.”
Unapologetically Authentic
A sure way to have a man perpetually falling for you is to be authentically you without changing who you are, solely for him.
“If you want him to chase you as opposed to you chasing him, you need to remember this one thing…whatever attributes you have: your style, your hair color, your whatever you’ve got going on – you don’t change for him," said life coach Margarita Nazarenko. "The black cat would never change for a man and that’s what’s going to make him chase you.”
She cements the rule with an analogy: “The rule is: if you make the best chocolate cake and he likes apple pie, make him the best chocolate cake, not a sub apple pie.”
Famous Couples That Successfully Personify Black Cat/Golden Retriever Energy
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These power couples prove why women who helm their black cat energy make their men swoon:
Rihanna & ASAP Rocky
"[The relationship] is going great. I don’t think there’s a more perfect person because when the schedules are hectic, she’s very understanding of that," A$AP Rocky told Billboard about his relationship with Rihanna. "And when the schedule’s freed up, that’s when you get to spend [the] most time together. It’s all understanding and compatibility.
Ashanti & Nelly
Lauren Speed Hamilton & Cameron Hamilton
Lauren Speed Hamilton and Cameron Hamilton are proof positive of the Love Is Blind concept. More recently, the married couple got real on their podcast about the struggles of expanding their family through fertility treatments. "When I saw what you were going through, terms of taking the medications, doing the daily shots, knowing that IVF and all this stuff wasn't really something that you naturally wanted to do but you did it for me," Cameron shared in episode 2 of The Love Seat podcast with Lauren, his voice beginning to crack.
"You showed me a new level of love that I'd never seen before."
Kristy Scott & Desmond Scott
Zendaya & Tom Holland
"You can’t really find anything against Zendaya, she’s kind of like the perfect person," Tom Holland shared about girlfriend Zendaya in a 2021 interview with Backstage. "It was so wonderful to have someone like her in my corner, to help me grow through that process … Having her as a friend has been so valuable to the success and happiness of my career and life."
Gabrielle Union & Dwyane Wade
Ciara & Russell Wilson
"For me, I knew that God had brought me in her life to bless her and for her to bless me," Russell Wilson told Access Hollywood about wife Ciara.
Serena Williams & Alexis Ohanian
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