A lazy man works twice as hard, and according to Issa Rae, a procrastinating woman will secure twice the bag. The 34-year-old Insecure creator recently spoke at POPSUGAR's Play/Ground event and spilled the secret sauce on how to be a self-made mogul from the ground-up and honey, we are taking notes.
Here are three things we learned about being a boss and creating a successful career from scratch.
Embrace Your Doubt
One thing that keeps Issa Rae focused and overflowing with ideas is self-doubt. Issa pointed out that it's important to know your worth, but it's also important to stay on your toes. Pressure makes diamonds, and Issa Rae applies that pressure all damn day:
"Doubting myself is what drives me. A part of me hates being underestimated but loves to be underestimated because I'm driven by proving people wrong. That's the Capricorn in me. 'Oh, you don't think I can do this? Let me show you.' There's so much fun in that."
Never Limit Yourself
Cindy Ord/Getty Images for POPSUGAR and Reed Exhibitions
The most important thing to have when on the chaotic quest to achieving your wildest dreams is intention. God has blessed us all with a number of talents, and it's a total waste of his gifts to only focus on one. According to Issa Rae, as she continues to progress in her career, she never limits herself when it comes to what's next. She said:
"I always think about what I want to do next. I want to be able to create other people's projects, finance other people's projects, have a studio, [and] do things outside of entertainment. I don't like being limited. That is my worst nightmare. I want to be able to flex other muscles and see what else I can do."
It's OK To Procrastinate
All work and no play makes me a very dull girl, and an even sh*ttier writer. To Issa, part of her secret to overcoming a creative block is allowing herself at least one day every week to let her mind wander. She said:
"I allow myself one day a week to procrastinate because it's inevitable. Allowing myself a procrastination day makes me really, really want to work the next day because I'm like, 'Oh, I wasted a whole day' … And I'm just really more driven."
Refuse To Fall Prey To The Con Of Comparison
Procrastinating on a big deadline is much different than taking the time to clock out altogether. Self-care isn't a luxury, issa necessity, and Issa says she is adamant about making time to chill out sometimes. Log out of social media, put your phone on do no disturb, and be proud of what you've accomplished lately.
Constantly being "plugged in" can cause you to fall victim to the con of comparison, and Issa Rae shared that she can totally relate. During the chat, Issa shared the one piece of advice she would give to herself:
"I would tell her to chill — to stop comparing herself to other people. I compare myself a lot to others. Sometimes, we feel like, 'Why is that not my opportunity?' But what's meant for you is meant for only you. You get anxious. You feel like everybody's surpassing you, and everybody's doing better than you are. That's just not the case. Everybody has their own journey, and your journey is yours."
Read everything Issa had to say a POPSUGAR's Play/Ground here!
Featured image by Monica Schipper/Getty Images for POPSUGAR and Reed Exhibitions
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Now, I’ll be honest: as an avid TV-lover, I was well-prepared to hop on Zoom and jump into all the chatter around Bel-Air and her characters’ decisions. But after listening to her new EP Identity Crisis, I knew there was a lot more to talk about as well. During this exclusive conversation with xoNecole, Jazlyn Martin delved into the challenging journey she’s faced surrounding her identity, newfound fame, and family influence, and how it all plays a part in her art. Check it out!
xoNecole: So I know that your father is in the entertainment world, but when did you realize you shared the same passion?
Jazlyn Martin: I think it was very early on. I was a child who was full of attitude and fearlessness that would go after anything I wanted. I believe seeing my dad pursue music made me realize it was possible. I just had this hunger and fire, and my parents consciously fed and nurtured that - they are always all super supportive of whatever I do. So very, very early on, I was like, I'm meant to do this. And I just was like, I'm a star, and I know I'm a star.
xoN: Actually, let's talk about your family. What are some of your most important values, and how have your family and heritage played a part in shaping those values?
Jazlyn: I mean, my mom is like an angel; she's so graceful and kind, and I've had to work hard to get there. When I was young, I was very abrasive, headstrong, and stubborn. Whereas my mom gives an immense amount of grace in the way she carries herself. I had to learn that.
I think being strong is something I’ve always had. My parents always joke that they don't know where my personality came from. Because my dad is shy and timid and my mom is kind, and I'm a fireball. But my Dad always asked the important industry questions like, “Why do you want to do this?” And that instilled some purpose into me. It really carried me to keep going because it's so easy to be discouraged in this field, but that drive has helped me push through all of the challenges.
xoN: I bet. I have such a respect for actors and the way you all navigate the industry. Speaking of, let’s dig into “Bel-Air.” Were you a fan of the show? Did you have to go back and watch the episodes?
Jazlyn: So I actually did watch the show which is crazy because sometimes I don’t. I saw it was a reboot and was like, ‘Oh no, not another one.’ But I watched the first three episodes, realized how good it was, and ended up watching the whole season. I became a fan, and then a few months later, I booked the role!
I think the imagination is such a beautiful and powerful tool, and I feel like if you create something in your mind, it happens. It's a crazy thing, but I really just created Jackie's world - the house she grew up in, her parents leaving her, and everything. I created why she fell in love with dance. I really came at it from a human approach. If I see it, then the audience can see it.
xoN: Yeah, background plays into so much of how we deal with things, how we interact with people, and everything. And I feel like Jackie gets a lot of backlash. Like, we’ve all had a “Jackie Moment” to be real.
Jazlyn: She gets so much backlash! I just encourage people to give her grace and see the God in her because I do think she tells a lot of Black and brown girls' stories. People project on her, saying she’s too ratchet or hood, and I’m like does that mean she’s not loveable?
We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her. Because she’s helped me extend empathy to people I don't necessarily want to or don't think deserve to have it. But she's 17, she's figuring it out, and she doesn't have parents. Like, that's such a huge factor.
"We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her."
xoN: You mentioned how your character is viewed, which digs a bit into identity. So I want to talk a little bit about some of the emotional songs on your EP “Identity Crisis.” What inspired the track “Perfect?”
Jazlyn: When I was creating “Perfect,” I already had the EP title. So I kind of mapped out, like, the different conflicts I had in my head and categorized them into seven songs, and so one of my identity crises was being perfect. Because I feel like a lot of men tend to put women on pedestals. They're expected to be perfect - especially when you’re in the limelight. You know, you can't slip up. You can't say the wrong thing. Cancel culture is such a huge thing. And I just wanted to encourage people to give people grace to be themselves because that's not an easy thing to do.
I just wanted to take down this facade that I’m perfect because I never pretended to be. I never wanted to be. I think that's something people have placed on me, that I have it all figured out, I think I just carry it well, but that doesn't mean it's not heavy. I just wanted to be very vulnerable and honest. I think people think “perfect” is a compliment, but I think it's a cage because it doesn't allow room for error. It doesn't allow for you to be human and mess up and fail and take risks. So I just wanted to encourage grace.
xoN: Do you ever feel like you went through an identity crisis?
Jazlyn: I go through one constantly. Growing up, I didn't really have one. But I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just “other.” That was an identity crisis in itself.
Also, being introduced to a level of fame has been interesting, too. I think we all go through identity crises all the time because we’re evolving and changing. It’s beautiful, but it’s also scary; you see yourself this one way, and then something happens, and there’s a shift. So yeah, I think it’s something we all go through but no one talks about.
"I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just 'other.'"
xoN: I love that. And I know Hispanic Heritage Month is coming up, and you'll be speaking at the New York Latino Film Festival. Talk to me about what that moment means to you and what you hope to bring to the event. *Editor’s note: The interview was conducted before Hispanic Heritage Month began.
Jazlyn: I’m bringing some Afro-Latino-ness! I always grew up seeing Latinos being represented in a very specific way—very Spanish, not very Indigenous looking. So I'm really excited to bring the Black experience, with the Latino experience, to the stage because that's something a lot of people don't know exists.
People are always like, “Are you Black or Latina?” Well, I'm both! We were just dropped off in different parts. I’m excited to speak on that and highlight how prevalent anti-Blackness is within Latino communities. A lot of Afro-Latinos have faced an identity crisis because of it, including myself. It sometimes feels like you’re supposed to hate the other half of who you are.
For me, I held onto that little Black girl inside. I refused to let her go. And that’s what I want to represent when I speak—resilience and acceptance of our full selves. I’m also looking forward to meeting fellow Latino people, especially Afro-Latinos, and sharing our stories. It’s not a narrative that gets much attention, and I’m excited to represent.
xoN: I’m excited for you! Finally, with all the praise and recognition you’re receiving now, what has it been like to transition from working in music, dance, and acting to now being in the spotlight? How have you embraced this new level of fame?
Jazlyn: Um, it's overwhelming. I think that's the best word. Sometimes, I'm joyful, because I'm giving back to the community. People resonate with Jackie's stories and see themselves in her, which I think is the biggest compliment to me. But then sometimes, you know, I feel sad because I'm like, ‘Damn, I'm not doing enough,’ like I should be doing more. It's crazy, the industry is so fast-paced that you don't really try to celebrate wins. It's just a transition, an identity crisis of the like.
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You can tell by the title of today’s piece that we’re going to apply the definition of dormant to sexually transmitted infections (STIs), which some people still call sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). If you’re curious about what inspired me to pen this, I’ll be real with you — the only time that I’ve had an STI, it was chlamydia, and I discovered I had it after going through a simultaneous bout of mono and strep throat.
When my doctor told me that I had chlamydia, I was kind of baffled (due to what I was on sexually at the time); that is, until he said that it seemed that I had probably had it in my system for about two years or so — and when I thought back to that time of my life, some dots started to connect. Anyway, what triggered my body to “activate” the infection was my immunity being so low due to the other illnesses that I had. And boy, I must admit that I learned a serious lesson in all of that — the kind that I want to prevent as many as possible from personally experiencing if I can.
Let me start all of this off by saying, sis, unless you are in a mutually committed long-term relationship where you both get tested regularly, using a condom should never not be an option (check out “Thinking About Going Condom-Free? Read This Before You Do.”). And listen, if you’re kind of on the fence about living in that kind of headspace, here’s hoping that after you read this, you absolutely will not be.
When It Comes to STIs/STDs, What Does “Dormant” Mean?
GiphySo, let’s get right into it. When it comes to STIs/STDs, when they are lying dormant in your system, what that basically means is they’re in your body without posing any symptoms. How does this happen? Well, STIs/STDs have incubation periods; sometimes they can last for a few days, sometimes a few months, and yep, some can take a few years (I actually recently read that herpes can be dormant in one’s body for several decades; no joke).
This means that while you’re out here thinking that you are fine, just because you don’t have any symptoms, you could be carrying the infection around and actually expose your partner(s), who could end up with the illness and the symptoms.
If you just read all of what I just said and thought, “I mean, a few days or months makes sense, but years?” — first, remember my own story that I just shared with you, then check out which infections apply:
- Again, herpes can lie dormant for 30+ years
- Syphilis can lie dormant for 30+ years
- HIV can lie dormant for 10+ years
- HPV can lie dormant for…who knows how long?
And just what determines how long an infection can remain “asleep” or “inactive?” Well, like I said earlier, immunity is one factor. Another is your age because, as you get older, your system is not as resilient as it tends to be when you are younger (which could explain articles like “Single boomers are having 'S-E-X.' They're also seeing a surge in STIs”). Some other things to take into account are if you have a particular kind of strain of the infection (which you can’t Google to find out; only your physician can tell you).
And here’s the thing: if you do happen to have one of these infections and you are asymptomatic, that doesn’t mean that you can’t end up with infertility issues, that you won’t make your body more susceptible to certain types of cancer (including your throat and genitalia) and/or that you aren’t now more vulnerable to HIV. See how serious all of this is?
Have mercy. See why wearing condoms, each and every time, and getting tested (annually if you have one partner and they only have you as one too and every 3-6 months if you have multiples) is paramount? Especially since it continues to be reported that only one-third of men and one-fourth of women actually use rubbers and (goodness children) one-third of 15-YEAR-OLDS don’t use protection of any form (condoms or the pill).
Yep, everyone should know about this kind of information…as soon as possible too.
Can You Test Negative and Still Have an STI/STD?
GiphyOkay, but what if you read all of this (thus far) and thought to yourself, “I get tested, I’m good.” I mean, if you don’t use condoms — maybe, maybe not. The reason why I say that is because there is such a thing as getting a false negative on an STI/STD test result. This happens because, although most reputable tests are pretty accurate, they aren’t 100 percent and so yes, there is a chance that you could take a test and the result not be what it (initially) says that it is.
This typically happens if you think you’ve been exposed to an infection and you test too soon — because, again, each infection has its own incubation period. For instance, chlamydia typically needs an incubation time of 7-21 days, gonorrhea needs 1-14 days, trichomoniasis needs 5-28 days, genital herpes needs 2-12 days, and genital warts? Well, its incubation period could take months if not years. Hmph.
To me, the biggest takeaway from this point is if you take a test right after you think you’ve been exposed to an infection and the results are negative, you should take another within a couple of weeks, just to be sure. Then maybe again in a few months, to be extra sure.
Let’s continue.
What If You Test Positive and Your Partner Tests Negative (or Vice Versa)?
GiphyAight, because STIs/STDs are not as “simple” or “black and white” as you might’ve been led to believe before reading all of this, that’s why you can’t just assume that if you test positive and your partner tests negative, or if it’s the other way around, that the one who isn’t infected won’t end up becoming that way later on — because again, a dormant infection is real out in these streets.
It also should go on record that depending on how long you’ve been with someone, it’s not exactly fair to automatically assume that they’ve sexually been with someone other than you because again…dormancy can last for months or years. Take chlamydia, for example. Although it is indeed a highly contagious infection, back when I found out that I had it, my boyfriend at the time didn’t (including while having sex with me) — and we weren’t always using condoms. How could this be?
Well, one article that I read said that the ratio of it being transmitted from partner, by gender, is “male to female: 32.1% and 34.9%” and “female to male: 21.4% and 4.6%”; in other words, it’s not a given that “the carrier” will pass chlamydia along to their partner. Moving on, I also know a guy (who actually pisses me off when it comes to this) who has herpes and doesn’t always use a condom.
In his eyes, since he takes his meds daily and avoids sex during breakouts, there is no need — to use condoms or to tell his partners. HOW SELFISH IS THAT (and yes, I am yelling it!). Even at the slightest inkling of an outbreak, herpes is too contagious (including via oral sex) to be playing those types of games — especially since it continues to have no cure.
The lesson here? Whoever has an infection while their partner doesn’t, mutual testing still needs to transpire, and condoms definitely need to be used until the one with the infection has taken their meds, and then they have tested negative. And honestly, for the next few weeks, condoms still should be used until both individuals have tested again and have a negative result — both ways.
What Can You Do to Avoid the Fear of Having a Dormant STI/STD?
GiphyY’all, the fact that 75 percent of women and 50 percent of men can have chlamydia without any symptoms is enough of a reason to use rubbers and stay getting tested. Goodness. However, as I wind all of this up, as concerning as all of this intel is, it’s not like you just have to — pardon the pun — lie down and take it. There are always preventative measures that can be taken to significantly decrease your chances of ending up with an STI/STD — dormant or not.
Choose your partners carefully. Sex is an act that can get you sick and/or make a human. This means that it’s never as casual as our culture makes it out to be. Take your time. Have sex deal-breakers. If you sense red flags…heed them.
USE. CONDOMS. When used correctly, they are 98 percent effective at preventing pregnancy and 95 percent effective at preventing STIs/STDs. If you avoid them because you don’t like how they feel, I’ve got some hacks for that here: “10 Ways To Make Using A Condom So Much More Pleasurable.” If you do avoid condoms, remember that since they can help to keep you healthy, there really should be no excuse to go without them. Period.
Don’t just get tested; require that your partner be tested too. Real life ain’t no rom-com or soap opera, so let’s not do the “But he’s so fine” or “I’m not comfortable bringing it up” thing when it comes to making sure that your partner (especially if he’s new) has been recently tested — like within the past six months and has his results to prove it.
Listen, if he’s not comfortable talking about this with you, you shouldn’t be comfortable letting any body part of his inside of yours. Straight up.
Remember that some vaccinations are available. Although there aren’t currently vaccines for all STI/STDs, there ones that you can take for HPV, Hepatitis A, and Hepatitis B. Just something to keep in mind.
There is nothing wrong with abstinence. Whenever people ask me how I could go so long abstaining — the freedom of not thinking about pregnancies or illnesses is a perk enough, chile. That said, if you want a season to go without worrying about any of this, abstinence will certainly do it for you.
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Dormant STIs/STDs. Should they terrify you? No. Should you always be concerned and super proactive in how you move, though? 1,000 percent. After all, a lot goes on during sex. Make sure that you are responsible 2.0, so that it doesn’t end up blindsiding you with something that is not not present — just…asymptomatic.
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