For International Women's Day, Issa Rae Talks Intentionally Using 'Black' And Riding For Us In The Boardroom
We all know Issa Rae has been the queen of Black girl magic, making "awkward" sexy and bankable in Hollywood and changing the narrative of what Black women look, sound, and act like in mainstream media. (We'll never forget that infamous red-carpet moment when "rooting for everybody Black" became the wave.) So it's no surprise that she lent her voice to a much-needed International Women's Day conversation about Black women in the workplace on one of the most pivotal social media platforms for professionals and entrepreneurs: LinkedIn.
It's also no surprise that Black women face added pressures and challenges in corporate America that have only worsened with COVID-19. New LinkedIn research has found that 1 in 4 Black women (26 percent) feel they may face retaliation for speaking up about racial justice issues or topics around diversity, equity and inclusion in the workplace, and 37 percent feel their workplace "talks a lot about creating a more diverse workplace, but doesn't make any material changes to policies or culture to make it happen."
Image via Giphy
Issa joined an in-depth conversation with Betty Liu, executive vice chairman of the New York Stock Exchange, and LinkedIn news editor-at-large Caroline Fairchild as part of the platform's Conversations for Change series, and y'all know she dropped some keep-it-real jewels that are super-relevant today more than ever.
Check out what Issa had to say about how white allies should really go about putting action behind words, being the only Black woman in the room, and handling issues of race and inclusivity with her own team:
On leading conversations with her team about racial injustice:
"I had team members that came up to me and wanted us as a company to do something, and they inspired me like, yes we are in the spotlight, we should be facilitating conversations and facilitating action. For me it came down to that. We had had so many conversations, and so many conversations were happening just even within the media, and the frustration and despair that I felt was like, is anything going to change this time? And so to know that we were in a position to at least direct and guide people to organizations that were making that change, to actively go out there and make our voices heard just really united us as a company.
"And you know, not everybody in our company is Black, so to educate some people and to again facilitate these conversations so that no one was judged for their ignorance was really important to us. So, that really united us in a way that I'll carry with me for a long time, and will continue to be active about those conversations and the intentions behind some of our projects and initiatives."
Image via Giphy
Issa on finding community as the only Black professional in the room:
"You can't always wait to be approached. Because that was my issue, of just like, 'Well nobody even tried so why should I try?' And now I've made assumptions about you, based off of what you haven't done. So, I think what I've learned is I have to at least extend myself in a way before I make a judgement. And then, if I extend myself and then recognize that there's no one there to receive me, then I can find a community.
"But for me, it comes down to finding a community of people who understand and relate, and I understand that that can be hard within your work environment, but extending outside of your work environment and finding other people and establishing a community there to bounce thoughts and ideas and solutions off of is so, so important."
On talking to white colleagues about the real meaning of allyship:
"A lot of my white colleagues have come up to me just to discuss what they could do, and, you know, I'm always open - some of us can get frustrated, any minority, when you're just like I feel like I have to learn so much about your culture and you, and I don't necessarily ask you questions, I do the research. And so for me it's like, I hope you do the research before you come to me, because I'm exhausted. I don't want to spend time like going down the line of everything that's wrong, I think you have to do the reading and the research on your own. I'm gonna be an open vessel, I'm gonna be patient, but just know that up front. And so to receive those texts constantly about, 'What can I do? How can I help?' I'm like, 'I hope you research this first.'
"There are so many, so many conversations where you can just find out, but for the most part, I have just been like this is where you can take action, this is where you can donate money, and kind of giving a 'frequently asked questions' checklist to colleagues. I've even found that forums, even with LinkedIn, I'm sure you guys are very much aware of how much of a forum that became post- these protests, and people just want a place to express themselves and to learn, and the more accessible that is, the more progress you'll have."
Image via Giphy
Issa on the importance of the word 'Black':
"It just reaffirmed what I knew and what I felt personally. Just that we didn't have this representation and we didn't have these stories being told about us, and there's a constant encouragement to kind of erase Blackness in an effort to integrate and fit in, and I think what we felt was just like, 'No, I want to be Black and fit in.'
"I want to acknowledge my Blackness while still being able to be acknowledged in society. So that only affirmed like, I want to continue to create these stories where I'm intentionally highlighting the Black experience, or one of many Black experiences, and that continues to be my priority."
For the full talk with Issa Rae and more on LinkedIn's Conversations for Change, visit their website.
Featured image by DFree / Shutterstock.com
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Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Entertaining Like Ayesha Curry: Expert Advice For Holidays Done Right
Be prepared to wow the crowd.
It’s officially the holiday season, which means parties and gatherings galore. Between Friendsgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve celebrations, many of us are preparing to host loved ones in our homes one or two times between now and the end of the year. No matter the occasion or season, hosting for family and friends is a labor of love. But we can also agree that entertaining can be overwhelming, especially for first-time hosts.
As a seasoned host and entertainer, Ayesha Curry knows something about creating a memorable event for loved ones. Whether preparing for an intimate dinner with your immediate family or hosting a larger crowd, your guests will think you are a pro this holiday season with her tips on everything from welcoming guests to setting a beautiful table.
Q: What is your top tip for hosting?
Ayesha Curry:Part of being a great host is spending time with your guests, which means you can’t be stuck in the kitchen. Prep is key! I usually serve wine with the meal, but a cocktail or mocktail is a great way to greet guests. I prep the garnish the night before and batch the drink just before guests arrive. When the party begins, I pull everything out of the fridge and am ready to serve.
Writer Note: If you would like to offer non-alcoholic beverages for your sober or sober-curious guests, I love Saint Viviana Cab. It maintains full-body cabernet and flavor; no one will ever guess it’s alcohol-free. You can easily create a signature mocktail using Bittermilk’s Smoked Honey Whiskey Sour mix.
Q: Do you suggest any prep for serving or cooking?
AC:I lay out all my serving dishes and utensils the night before with little post-it notes saying what goes where. That way, I’m not digging around for anything. For more elaborate menus, I lay out quarter sheet pans and label them with tape according to the dish. I prep and measure everything for each recipe and then load each sheet pan with everything needed to make the dish. I wrap each tray in saran or foil, stack them, and place them in the fridge. Pull out the sheet pan you need when cooking, and everything is ready. It’s something I learned at the restaurant that saves so much time.
Q: What’s one item that should always be on a dinner party menu?
AC: Bread or roll with butter is excellent for holding guests over if the kitchen is delayed.
Q: What’s one non-menu item you should always have on hand?
AC: For a non-menu item, wine!
Q: How do you decide on a theme or menu for a gathering?
AC: It all starts with the occasion and the guest list. If it’s a group that doesn’t know each other very well, I may get more elaborate with the theme to help break the ice. For a group of friends or family who don’t get to see each other very often, I usually keep it simple so the evening can be all about catching up. A great playlist, good wine, and a family-style menu are all you need.
Q: Should attendees be expected to bring a gift?
AC: If I’m hosting, I’m not expecting gifts. The gift is taking time to come over and enjoy a meal with me! But bringing something to enjoy at the gathering, like a bottle of wine, is always appreciated.
Q: What are three affordable gifts that guests can give a host?
AC:A bag of excellent coffee is a beautiful gift for a host. Sweet July’s House Blend Coffee is sourced from all-female co-ops, so it’s a gift I love to give to the women in my life. Whether it’s being served after dinner or just for the host to enjoy on their own, you can’t go wrong with a bag of high-end coffee.
Fresh flowers are great if you have a host who likes total control over the food and beverage menu. Go for something neutral in color that can work with any décor.
The Sweet July Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegar set is my go-to host gift. Bottled in Napa, it’s a gift any foodie will appreciate - and use!
Q: What are some creative tablescape or decor ideas that you love?
AC: I like to keep my dinnerware neutral and classic (like this ceramic collection in nutmeg) and infuse color and texture through linens. For centerpieces, I want to use what I have in my yard. If it’s summer, it might be flowers or greenery, but interesting branches can also look architectural in tall, clear vases next to tapered candles in the colder months. There’s no need to spend a ton of money on flowers.
With Ayesha’s tips, you can create a holiday gathering that your family and friends will cherish forever.
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