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The Do’s & Don’ts Of Helping A Friend Who’s Recently Separated Or Divorced
Monica. Solange. Niecy Nash. Kenya Moore. Wendy Williams. For better or for worse (no pun intended), if there's one thing that all of these women have in common, it's the fact that they've recently experienced a separation or divorce from their spouse. And you know what? I don't have to know any of these women personally to know that this means it's been one hell of a year for them. The reason why I say that is because, no matter what causes two people who once committed their lives to one another to eventually call it quits, there is pain…there is grieving…there is adjusting in pretty much every facet of life. "Breaking up is hard to do" isn't just a line in a song (shout out to the Beverly Hills 90210 version) or a random cliché, when a marriage comes to an end, no greater words have ever been spoken.
Because this is so true, I actually believe that, if there is ever a time when true friends (and foes) reveal themselves, it's when someone is ending their marriage. Based on the conversations that I've had with women who've gone through this kind of relational transition, there are things that we, as their friends, can do right and things that we can get oh so very wrong. The statistics surrounding the divorce rate in this country is all of the evidence that you need to know that at some point or another, a friend of yours is going to end her marriage. When that happens, she's going to need your support in some very specific—and sometimes even mentally challenging—ways.
If you want to know what the proper friendship etiquette is for a time like this, here is a good place to start.
DO Make Yourself Both Physically and Emotionally Available
I've got a friend who recently took on a new job. As she was explaining just how much it was going to switch up her schedule and make it more difficult to connect during our usual chatting hours, I said to her, "We're in a good place and have been for a while. You don't need to 'babysit' our friendship." The more you settle into any kind of relationship, the more you realize this to be true. I am fine giving her as much space as she needs because, back when I experienced a devastating heartbreak, she left her phone on at all times and was prepared to meet me whenever, wherever, because she knew that I was broken, I was vulnerable and I was going through immense feelings of rejection. The last thing that I needed was to reach out to someone who said, "I got you", only to realize that they didn't.
When someone is going through a separation or divorce, they are fragile, whether they tell you they are or not. This means that they need support, in the form of availability. It might be for a midnight phone call or a matinee where the movie watches them more than they are able to watch it back. The shock and pain tend to come in waves, so you can't really have "regular friendship business hours". It really is best to prepare yourself to be on-call, both physically and emotionally, for…a while.
DON’T Pry for Information or Offer Unsolicited Advice
The amount of thoughts that are constantly running through the mind of a newly separated individual is countless. And, for a season, endless. Even when they believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is absolutely the best decision for them, they've still got to figure out what their new normal is going to look like. In the midst of making peace with their decision and planning for somewhat of an uncertain future, unfortunately a lot of people are not going to be very thoughtful. Plenty will want to know the details of what led to the break-up. Others will offer up advice that your friend never asked for. Some of what she'll hear will be rude, condescending and totally insensitive, even if the person meant well. This means that she's going to need places she can go to that won't be "extra voices" in her head that, I promise you, she doesn't need.
As her friend, it's normal to have questions and even an opinion. But do your best to hold up on those for a while. What she wants to share, listen to. What she doesn't, try and put yourself in her shoes. How mentally overwhelmed would you feel if you were in her shoes right about now?
DO Prepare for Her to Be a Bit of an Emotional Roller Coaster
I've got a male friend who is currently going through a divorce. In our two-decade-plus friendship, we've only had one disagreement. But boy, did I almost get triggered in a conversation we had a few weeks ago. In the midst of us talking, he started yelling and saying things that were pretty toxic. After about 30 minutes of tolerating his rant, I tried to talk him down; he only became more inflammatory. I was so used to him being calm, almost to the point of being nonchalant, including when it came to the end of his marriage, that how he was acting caught me way off guard.
Since then, he has good days and bad days. Shoot, sometimes he has good minutes and bad minutes. He's a bit of an emotional roller coaster, to tell you the truth. But what I have learned is to let him ride it all out; to not get on the ride with him (because what good would it do for us both to be out here unstable and unsettled?), but to be there for him as he gets off—to not expect him to be "normal" for a while. Life, as he's known it for years now, is totally changing. He needs a minute to figure it all out. Until he does, there will be extreme peaks and valleys. Separation and divorce tend to affect people in that way. By accepting that, our own interaction has been a lot smoother.
DON’T Initially Take Things Too Personally
Although no one should tolerate abuse, when your friend is going through a separation or a divorce, try and cut them a bit of slack. They are upset and humans tend to say some interesting things during emotional upheavals. She might be sarcastic, cynical or snarky. There might be moments when she implies that something was your fault or that you didn't do something "right" during her marriage. Some days when you call, she might be short and passive aggressive. Other days, she might be so rude that you wonder why you are friends with her at all.
When we're hurting, it's normal to look for answers. Sometimes that means that we're angry or we put blame on people who don't deserve it. It's not right. It's just the way that it is. It's kind of like the difference between touching someone's arm when it has a wound on it vs. when it doesn't; the reactions are going to be completely different. It's going to be challenging for your friendship with your friend to survive if you are thin-skinned right now.
If you have a non-toxic relationship with her—and sometimes, situations like this will reveal whether or not you do—while she may be lashing out a bit now, things will settle in time. Don't be her punching bag, but do be her sounding board. And whatever she says—and to an extent, whatever she does—try and not take it too personal. She's in a storm. Eventually the storm will pass.
DO Be Responsible When It Comes to Your Help and Support
It's not uncommon for recently separated or divorced people to not always make the wisest decisions during the first year or so if their break-up. They might rebound with an ex. They might spend money like it's going out of style. They may engage in casual sex hook-ups, just to make sure that they've still "got it". They might quit a job or move away with no real pain in place. While stuff like this is going on, although some people think that being a true friend is all about supporting their friend in doing whatever it is that they want to do, I don't agree with that at all. While a true friend loves and does not abandon their friend in times of transition (and sometimes even purely reckless behavior), it's not a good idea to co-sign on them doing what is proving to be unhealthy or destructive.
Something that your newly separated or divorced friend is going to need is to be surrounded around those who are balanced, responsible and can be a true sense of reason for them. When you see them doing things that are dangerous or even counterproductive, bring those to their attention. Not in a forceful or nagging kind of way, but out of love. If they are determined to ignore your warnings, try and help where you can. If they are parents, offer to watch the kids on some weekends so that the little ones aren't in the crossfire. Maybe set aside a couple of bucks to help out with a bill. Be the kind of friend that you would want her to be to you if you were going through the same thing. When a friend is going through a separation or divorce, empathy—not apathy—is key.
DON’T Pressure Her to Make Any (More) Major Decisions
Ask any separated or divorced person to go back in their minds to the first six months of their break-up and, one of the things that they'll tell you is the last thing that they need is anymore pressure. Pressure to figure out what's next. Pressure to figure out what they are going to do about their kids (if they have any). Pressure to handle all of the whisperings and gossiping that is going on. Pressure to do anything, really. Pressure triggers stress and stress oftentimes only leads to more problems. If anything, be intentional about being a source of peace and calm. Be the one who invites her to binge-watch Netflix or take a weekend road trip. Remind her that there is no rush to change her life any more than her initial decision already has. The benefit in this is, the more settled she is, the more capable she will be to do what needs to be done…in time.
DO Prepare for a New Normal. Even When It Comes to You.
When someone goes through a separation (especially if it ultimately ends in divorce), it doesn't only change their lives; it causes everyone and everything around them to shift too. For instance, if you were close to your friend's spouse, you now have to figure out what will make everyone comfortable. If your friend has a child, it's important to decide how to be a kind of support system for them too. Plus, if your friend's marriage was one that you actually looked up to, you need your own time to grieve the loss of what once was.
Again, separation and divorce are never easy—on anybody. Some days will be easier than others, including when it comes to your relationship with your friend. Through the highs and lows, try and keep in mind that, no matter how uncomfortable the season may be, in time, it will change. Also keep in the forefront of your mind that, no matter how hard things are for your friend right now, with your prayers, help and even space (as she needs it) things will get better. Things may not get "back to normal", but there will be a new normal. Although she might now see it right now, with your support, a new normal can be just as good. Maybe not immediately but eventually. Hang in there. She needs you more than you know.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
How To Support Your Loved One Through A Dark Time
6 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Ending Your Marriage
Feature image by Shutterstock
- Helping Someone Dealing With Separation and Divorce | HuffPost Life ›
- How to Support Your Best Friend Through Divorce ›
- 10 Ways To Help Someone Going Through A Divorce | HuffPost Life ›
- Dealing With Divorce (for Teens) - KidsHealth ›
- Supporting a Friend Through Divorce: 5 Things to Keep in Mind ›
- Helping Your Child Through a Divorce (for Parents) - KidsHealth ›
- Children and Divorce - HelpGuide.org ›
- How to Support Your Friend Through Their Divorce ›
- 13 Ways To Be A Good Friend To Someone Getting Divorced ›
- 18 Ways to Help a Friend Going Through a Divorce ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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Feature image by FotosbyFola
Sexual compatibility is one of the more spicier sides to Astrology that most people haven’t heard of. These are the details you get to once you have learned about your “Big 3” (sun, moon, and rising sign), and want to dive deeper into what Astrology can really tell you about yourself. Why not have more of an understanding of your sexual chemistry with others and what excites you in bed? Astrology not only gives you a blueprint of what your best match is in love, professionally and platonically, but it also provides insight into who you are most sexually compatible with.
When discovering more aspects of yourself through the stars, you don’t want to overlook the power of this celestial study when it comes to the bedroom.
There are a few key components you want to look at when it comes to sexual compatibility in Astrology. Your traditional sun and moon sign first and foremost, as this simple aspect can tell you a lot about who you are, your emotions, and your needs; Mars, the planet that rules sex in Astrology; Venus, the planet that rules love in Astrology; the 8th house, the astrological house that rules sex, sexuality, and sensuality; the 5th house, the astrological house that rules romance, flirtation, and sex. And lastly, you can also look at where Scorpio is in your birth chart, the sign that rules the reproductive system.
Read below to see who you're best sexually compatible with. (Read for your sun, moon, Mars, and Venus signs.)
ARIES
Like all fire signs, Aries needs a lot of heat in the bedroom. Aries are ruled by Mars, the planet of sex, passion, and energy, so you can be sure that this sign has a high sex drive. Aries love the spontaneity of sex, and they have a lot of fun in this area of life. Sexual compatibility is high with fellow fire signs, Leo and Sagittarius, and the same element makes the best match for an Aries overall. They want someone who is going to be just as intense and exciting in the bedroom, and they find that with Leo and Sagittarius.
Scorpios also make good matches for Aries being that they are sitting in Aries’ 8th house of sexuality. A dynamic duo like Aries and Scorpio brings not just the heat, but also an emotional connection as well.
Best sexual compatibility with Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius, and Scorpio.
TAURUS
Taurus are no strangers to the bedroom. This is a very sensual sign whose love language is physical touch (and gift-giving). They love to feel wanted and needed in the bedroom and prefer for the atmosphere to be set with candles, roses, and chocolates. This is a sign that take their time in bed, and they want both parties to feel good first and foremost. One of the best matches for Taurus, sexually is their opposite sign, Scorpio. These two bring together earth and water and create a good balance in bed.
Leos and Taurus are often drawn to each other, and there is an underlying sexual tension between these two. Virgos are also high on the scale of compatibility with Taurus, and they have a sexual chemistry that is comfortable and sincere, which is what Taurus is looking for.
Best sexual compatibility with Scorpio, Virgo, Cancer, Leo, and Sagittarius.
GEMINI
Gemini is a wildcard in the bedroom. No two Geminis are the same, and this is true when it comes to sexual chemistry. However, there are a few key components Geminis look for when it comes to sex. They want to be with someone who is completely and authentically themselves and someone who isn’t shy in the bedroom. They do well with Sagittariuses as they can match each other’s freaks. However, they also have a unique chemistry with Capricorns, who are in their 8th house of sensuality. Capricorns and Geminis are like two different people, teaching each other something new, and they have a lot of fun. One of the best matches for Gemini overall, though, would be another air sign, Aquarius.
Best sexual compatibility with Libra, Aquarius, Sagittarius, Aries, and Capricorn.
CANCER
Cancer is the type to keep their love life and sexual world hidden or more secret than most. They don’t let others in easily, and deeply value keeping this part of their life hidden or sacred. They look for partners who are devoted to them or are showing this type of dedication and attraction to them in the bed. They have amazing chemistry with other water signs, Pisces, and Scorpio, and often form intense and emotional bonds with these signs in bed. They also love to show off their wild side with signs like Aquarius and Virgo, as they see these intellectuals as people needing to let loose and get into their emotions more, and they want to be the one to help them do that.
Capricorns are one of the best matches for Cancer overall because they won’t rush anything and will be able to form a deep connection with Cancer first and foremost, which would make their sexual chemistry off the charts.
Best sexual compatibility with Pisces, Capricorn, Scorpio, Virgo, and Aquarius.
LEO
Leos are more traditional in the bedroom than most people expect. Like all fire signs, they have a passion and self-confidence that is undeniable, but in the bedroom, they want to be treated like the royalty they are. Leos love to be courted or to be shown how adored and admired they are. They go well with Geminis because of this, as this air sign is often a talker in bed, and will never miss an opportunity to whisper something sweet in their ear. Leos also have a soft spot for Pisces in the bedroom, and this water sign tends to bring out a more kinky and sensual side to Leo.
One of the best sexual matches for Leo overall would be Sagittarius, who Leo feels is someone who can truly match their energy.
Best sexual compatibility with Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Gemini, and Pisces.
VIRGO
Virgos are the definition of a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. Being represented by the Virgin or the Maiden in Astrology, people often have Virgos sexuality misconstrued. Their typical organized self goes out the window when they are comfortable with someone sexually, and their service-oriented attitude makes them some of the best lovers in bed. Virgos have a sincere and compatible connection with other earth signs, Taurus and Capricorn. Earth signs have a way of making everything feel better, and there is a lot of touching between these signs.
Cancers also have great sexual compatibility with Virgos, as they have similar styles and needs in the bedroom. Virgos have instant sexual compatibility with Scorpios, and this is a very common combo you see in life.
Best sexual compatibility with Scorpio, Taurus, Capricorn, Cancer, and Aries.
LIBRA
Opposites attract when it comes to Libra in the bedroom. This sign is always looking for balance, and they find that with a partner who brings something different to the table than they do. This makes their opposite sign, Aries, the sign that rules their 5th house of romance and flirtation, one of their best matches when it comes to sexual compatibility. Libra loves foreplay. They enjoy dressing up, role-playing, and a lot of talking in the bedroom, which makes Gemini and Aquarius another great match for Libra, because they also don’t keep quiet in bed.
Taurus has one of the best sexual compatibility for Libra, overall, however, as they are both ruled by Venus, the planet of love. These two quite literally have the capacity to not just have sex, but make love to one another, which is the most ideal for Libra.
Best sexual compatibility with Leo, Aries, Aquarius, Taurus, and Gemini.
SCORPIO
Scorpios are known for their reputation in the bedroom. When people think of Scorpio, they often think of sexy energy, and this is because Scorpio quite literally rules the reproductive system and the 8th house of sex in Astrology. They are no strangers in the bedroom, and they are people who know what they want. Scorpio and Pisces often have an instant connection, and these two are usually rushing into bed with one another.
Another sign that surprisingly flows well with Scorpio in bed is Geminis, who provide Scorpio with a non-judgmental atmosphere that makes them feel in tune and sexy. Scorpio has high sexual compatibility with earth signs: Virgo, Capricorn, and Taurus, as they show Scorpio a more sensual and grounded approach that is enticing to them.
Best sexual compatibility with Pisces, Virgo, Capricorn, Gemini, and Taurus.
SAGITTARIUS
Sagittariuses aren’t the pickiest in the bedroom and just like they can get along with anyone if they want to, the same fact applies in bed. They are looking for a more immediate and instant attraction than anything; however, just because you got them once doesn’t mean you can get them again. Sagittarius are wanderers, and they are constantly seeking new stimulation. This is why they have such strong sexual chemistry with Aries, who are also more spontaneous in the bedroom.
They are very flirtatious and want things to be fun and light-hearted here, and they find that chemistry with Aries. Sagittarius also has a soft spot for Cancers in bed, and they let out their more sincere, compassionate, and deep side for this water sign.
Best sexual compatibility with Libra, Aries, Sagittarius, Aquarius, and Cancer.
CAPRICORN
If you can get Capricorn to take their mind off work and focus on intimacy in the bedroom, then you are already a great match for this logical sign. They don’t open up to many people, and some Capricorns can approach sex as a duty rather than a desire or a connection. This is why this sign does so well with water signs in bed like Cancer, Pisces, and Scorpio because these are people who know how to let go of the mind and live in their emotions for a while.
Capricorns also have strong sexual compatibility with Taurus and Leo because there is a sense of dominance imbalance here that is sexy to Capricorn. Leo and Capricorn both want to take the lead in bed, and they have fun playing around with each other and teasing.
Best sexual compatibility with Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces, and Leo.
AQUARIUS
Aquarius is a more sexually inclined individual than most people would assume. They are known for their mind, intelligence, and eccentricity, but this doesn’t mean they don’t have the same amount of intelligence and knowledge when it comes to sex. Aquarius are very intuitive in the bedroom, which makes their compatibility with Virgo so strong here. These two know what each other needs without saying anything, and they have a lot to bring to the table.
Gemini, on the other hand, brings out a wild side to Aquarius, and they have a lot of fun in bed and even more to talk about afterwards. Aquarius has one of the best sexual compatibility with Aries, as they can open up to each other about their weird kinks or needs in bed in a judgment-free zone.
Best sexual compatibility with Aries, Gemini, Libra, Leo, and Virgo.
PISCES
Pisces are more fluid and open in the bedroom. Their sexual compatibility deals with emotions first and foremost, and they look for an emotional connection in their partners, no matter how long or short they have known them. They are one of the signs who doesn’t really have a “type,” and they are most attracted to generally nice and romantic people. Earth signs Taurus and Virgo have great sexual chemistry with Pisces, as there is a good give-and-take between them. Scorpios bring out Pisces' freakier side, and the imagination of these two definitely shows in the bedroom.
Pisces' best match sexually would be Cancer, as these two have a more erotic and romantic type of connection here. They are slow lovers and have such a strong bond sexually because of the emotional compatibility they have as well.
Best sexual compatibility with Cancer, Scorpio, Virgo, Taurus, and Libra.
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