

5 Ways To Boss Up After Divorce
It doesn't have the shame and stigma from say, 20 years ago, but let's keep it real - divorce is still a very traumatic experience. It's even more problematic, when you are used to being "the successful one" in your peer group and people expect you to excel at everything you touch, including your marriage.
I never thought I would get divorced from my husband, especially after 18 total years of being in a relationship. But, it happened. And for a short while, I struggled with picking up the pieces the heartbreak left behind. But I survived. Even better? I thrived.
Bear with me while I share 5 tips to boss the eff up after breaking up with the love of your life.
Stop Analyzing The Past
Despite how much we like to think that the end of a relationship is ALL the man's fault, breakups are never just one person's fault. It literally makes no sense to keep reliving old scenarios looking for that pivotal moment where things could have gone either way.
Since we are keeping it all the way real here - most of us had PLENTY of warning signs and pivotal moments that we were making a bad decision along the way. But, we pushed down those thoughts, ignored those warning signs and kept flashing our engagement ring around anyway.
Perfect Example: Two months before we were married, my boyfriend grabbed me by my hair, dragged me down a street and pushed me into his car during an argument. And even with that huge RED FLAG practically sitting on my head, I pressed forward with the marriage anyway.
Message: Don't blame yourself for the past - but do commit to NOT making the same mistakes year after year.
Understand That Just Because Your Relationship Was Long Doesn’t Mean It Was Successful
Popular culture loves to glamorize the good old days when women knew how to be "strong", "keep the family together" and "hold their man down at all costs."
Like many women, this soundtrack has played in my head over and over as I contemplated dissolving the marriage. I took a good long look at these so-called ideal relationships from the past and realized that most of those so-called "strong" relationships were full of bullshit, drama, cheating, and maybe babies. We have to stop awarding people for how many years of BS they can endure in the name of "keeping the family together".
Message: Stop seeking advice from anyone and everyone. Many of us have normalized dysfunction and aren't qualified to provide relationship advice to anyone. Be still. Be silent. Seek clarity.
You Don’t Owe Anyone A 2nd, 3rd or 4th Chance
I completely agree that a successful marriage requires the ability to forgive and forget over and over again. That does not mean, however, that you have to put up with every.single.thing that comes your way. It's perfectly fine to have standards. In spite of what people say, marriage should absolutely have conditions, just like any other contractual agreement.
What areas are you unwilling to negotiate? You have to know this so if/when a mutha I mean, person violates the essence of who you are as a woman, you can respond accordingly.
Message: Sis, the decision to grant someone another chance, is completely up to you. Don't allow anyone to guilt trip you into a decision that you don't want to make.
It’s Perfectly Fine To Still Love Your Ex
Honestly, no matter how many bad times you've experienced, you are probably still going to love your ex. Ladies - this is perfectly fine. A wise woman once told me that the decision to get married has nothing to do with the love you have for someone. It's possible to love someone tremendously AND have no desire to be in a relationship with them.
Message: True love shouldn't die. Just like toxic family members, sometimes you have to love your ex from a distance.
Channel All Of Your Emotions Into #SecuringTheBag
Listen sis - you have NO TIME to be in your feelings and allowing things to slide financially. It's time to leverage all those feelings of anger, sadness, despair and frustration into building a strong financial foundation for yourself and/or your children. Use this time to pick up side hustles, obtain those certifications, and/or work on starting your own business.
Message: Procrastination is not a luxury you and your family have. Let's work.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
6 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Ending Your Marriage
Monica Finally Shares How She Really Feels About Divorce
How Do Men Really Deal With Divorce?
Wendy Williams Takes Back Her Power And Files For Divorce
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Hi, I'm Danielle Pierce. I'm a full time entrepreneur, real estate expert, published author and proud BLERD. I LOVE house music. You can usually find me somewhere making it rain for my three little ones. Check out my world at www.daniellepierce.com.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Improve The Look Of Your Under-Eyes With These Top-Rated Eye Masks
If there’s one part of the face that seems to be the most vexing to correct, it’s the under eyes.
This delicate area has a way of being tipped off by our irregular sleep patterns, stress, and the straining that comes from our computers and phone screens. From puffiness to dark circles, it can be irksome to find the right products to soothe our under-eye concerns. Thankfully, there’s one solution that delivers a brighter and more awakened look over time, and that’s under-eye masks and eye patches.
Eye patches are giving our under-eye bags an eviction notice because they can’t hang our glowing faces rent-free. The beauty of these patches is that they are designed to bring your eyes targeted results through concentrated doses of active ingredients directly to the skin under the eyes. Typically made of thin, gel-like material and infused with ingredients like niacinamide, hyaluronic acid, caffeine, and even green teas, these small but mighty patches depuff your puffiness, brighten your dark circles, or tighten fine lines.
While every under-eye differs in its needs, every eye can benefit from an under-eye mask or patch that suits its concerns. And to help, we’ve put together the best under-eye patches to hydrate, soothe, and brighten your eyes.
KNC Beauty All Natural Retinol Infused Eye Mask, 5-Pack
The KNC Beauty All Natural Retinol Infused Eye Mask, 5-Pack, is a retinol-infused, all-natural product designed to rejuvenate your eyes. It promises to provide hydration, smoothness, reduced puffiness, and brightness without the use of chemicals. With ingredients like retinol to refine skin texture and stimulate blood flow and aloe to soothe and reduce redness, it's like getting 8 hours of beauty sleep for your eyes.
Topicals Faded Under Eye Brightening Eye Masks
These cooling hydrogel under-eye masks from Topicals promise to fade the appearance of dark circles and discoloration in just 15 minutes. The set includes six masks and offers benefits that brighten, hydrate, depuff, and cool your under-eye area.
Peter Thomas Roth Potent-C Power Brightening Hydra-Gel Eye Patches
Grab these eye contour gel patches to brighten the eye area and combat signs of aging using a powerful form of vitamin C called THD Ascorbate, which is 50 times more potent than traditional vitamin C.
BeautyBio Bright Eyes Depuffing and Brightening Eye Gels
BeautyBio's Bright Eyes consists of 15 colloidal silver-infused eye gel patches designed to provide instant depuffing, brightening, and revitalization to the delicate eye area within 10 minutes. They also contain natural collagen to help diminish the appearance of fine lines, which we love.
COSRX Advanced Snail Hydrogel Eye Patch
COSRX
These viral hydrogel masks offer moisture and nourishment to rejuvenate tired-looking skin. Their Snail Secretion Filtrate contains "Mucin," an effective moisturizing ingredient that soothes damaged skin and delivers deep hydration, making it suitable for dehydrated and damaged skin types. Your under-eyes will thank you.
Peace Out Puffy Under-Eye Patches
Amazon
Try these caffeine-infused patches to reduce puffiness in the under-eye area. The product features clean, vegan ingredients such as caffeine, niacinamide, and hyaluronic acid for deep hydration and moisture delivery.
Dieux Skin Forever Eye Mask Reusable Silicone Gel Eye Pads
The Forever Eye Mask is designed to be the “last eye mask you'll ever need.” This thin, lightweight, and reusable eye patch can hold gels, serums, and creams close to the skin for better absorption, helping your skincare products work more effectively.
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