A breakup can be enough to make you break down, and divorce can magnify that feeling tenfold. After meeting your partner at the altar and committing yourself to someone for the rest of your life, knowing that your happily ever after will never come to fruition can be a hard pill to swallow. Nevertheless, we persist in being the badass bosses that we were born to be despite a broken heart and newfound loneliness, and with the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it may seem unrealistic to take time to grieve a dead relationship. But according to Monica on the latest episode of The Family Hustle, it's necessary, sis.
In a candid conversation with her good friend, Toya Wright, the 38-year-old broke down in tears in a conversation about filing for divorce from her husband, former NBA player, Shannon Brown. The couple met on the set of her video "Love All Over Me" in June 2010, shortly after Monica and her former fiance broke it off, and married a mere six months later.
After nearly nine years of marriage and conceiving a daughter together, Monica and Shannon announced in March that they would be ending their relationship and the internet was confused AF. Rumors of their separation began in October of last year, but last night, the singer finally shared how she really feels about being a single mother-of-three:
"I think a lot of my life changes have become so complex and difficult. I had two children. I stayed in that relationship a long time, and he was a loss on both levels. Then I finally met my husband and then I had my daughter, and it was good that he was athletic like the boys, so they had their own bond...and then now that's a loss. It's been some rough weeks these last few weeks."
She explained that although she tries to maintain a sense of normalcy throughout this major life change, she's had a hard time adjusting to life as a single woman. Despite her pain, Monica presses through and handles business like the Atlanta-born soul songstress savage that she is, but as we all know, emotional wounds are just as (if not more) painful than physical injuries, and those scars don't heal overnight.
"Things in my personal life have been changing a lot, and it has not been easy. I cannot lie. My personal relationship is taking a major toll on me. I'm feeling it every day. I've been keeping everything to myself and I feel overwhelmed…"
Monica may be going through a tough time in her personal life, but for this GRAMMY-award winning artist, the hustle never stops... Even when it comes to making a life-changing decision; and she's not the only one who is guilty of this "all work, no healing" way of thinking.
For decades, black women have become victim to the superwoman complex, blatantly ignoring the need to succumb to our internal Clark Kent and suffering in silence as a result. It's our belief that our job is to take care of everyone but ourselves, and that mentality does more damage to our loved ones than we know. Monica explained that bottling up her emotions ultimately led her to a point where she was ready to explode.
If you've ever been through a tough time in your life, you know that pressing pause is one of the best things you can do for yourself, but that can be hard when you're constantly trying to balance being a reality star, mother, and legendary R&B singer. Although her outward emotions (or lack thereof) and intense work ethic may seem nonchalant to some, the Miss Thang singer said she has had to try her hardest to keep it together every day:
"I'm everybody's go-to, and I think it makes people think I'm pretending to be perfect when in actuality, I just don't believe in pausing. Cause it's like you pause and you get stuck."
Monica is a testament to the fact that true love starts with self-care. Her need to make everyone else happy ultimately led to a breakdown that could only be remedied by halting the hustle and taking the time to mourn what is dead. It may seem pointless to have a theoretical funeral to grieve the love that you and your ex once shared, but until you let go of what you lost, you can't move on to what God has set aside for you to have.
Watch a sneak peek of the episode below:
Monica Confides in Toya About Her Divorce 'Sneak Peek' | T.I. & Tiny: Friends & Family Hustlewww.youtube.com
Featured image by Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images.
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
We all have a dream life that we spend our free time daydreaming about. You know, the one with a loving partner, high-rise apartment, thriving career, and endless abundance. But as much as we can dream about it, there has to be a little extra sprinkle of “magic” to make it become a reality, and that’s when manifestation comes in.
The uptick in manifestation techniques is nothing new to the internet. Since The Secret and the Law of Attraction became available on YouTube in the early 2010s and fast forward to today, where #manifestationtok and #spiritualtok surging in popularity, it’s clear that there are a number of different ways to get what you want out of life with the right action, affirmation, and visualization.
Still, with so many ways to manifest, from scripting to the 3-6-9 Method, it can be hard to know which one to lean into. But there’s one new technique that’s promising to yield “instant results,” and we’re curious about it.
The "I Am Sure" Manifestation
Replying to @A I M E E 🖤 lG: hothighpriestess 🤍 this is the “I am sure” method #iamsuremethod
The “I Am Sure” manifestation gained traction this summer by TikTok creator Sara Perl of @hothighpriestess, who initially introduced the method.
In her original video breaking down the concept, she detailed the steps to use the technique for those looking to “manifest overnight.” To do so, start by stating “I am sure,” followed by “your desired manifestation in the present tense.” If there’s a job, promotion, or text from a crush that you want, then you’d say, “I am sure that I got X job,” or “I am sure that I make a $100K salary.” Repeat this out loud 10 times, or for faster results, write them down on a piece of paper and say it back to yourself whenever the desire comes up.
Using your words and speaking in the present tense, affirmatively, “puts you in the frequency that has that desire,” as Perl states. “We know our thoughts create our reality, but our words create our reality even faster.”
No matter how you choose to manifest your dream life, there’s nothing like channeling a powerful affirmation and some faith to get what you desire. In every instance, though, allow yourself to dismiss any doubt that may try to cloud your hopes in good things coming into your life, and don’t hold too tightly onto the “how” or “when.” Trust the process and know that the “thing” that you desire is just waiting for the perfect time to enter your life.
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