Monica Finally Shares How She Really Feels About Divorce From Shannon Brown
A breakup can be enough to make you break down, and divorce can magnify that feeling tenfold. After meeting your partner at the altar and committing yourself to someone for the rest of your life, knowing that your happily ever after will never come to fruition can be a hard pill to swallow. Nevertheless, we persist in being the badass bosses that we were born to be despite a broken heart and newfound loneliness, and with the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it may seem unrealistic to take time to grieve a dead relationship. But according to Monica on the latest episode of The Family Hustle, it's necessary, sis.
In a candid conversation with her good friend, Toya Wright, the 38-year-old broke down in tears in a conversation about filing for divorce from her husband, former NBA player, Shannon Brown. The couple met on the set of her video "Love All Over Me" in June 2010, shortly after Monica and her former fiance broke it off, and married a mere six months later.
After nearly nine years of marriage and conceiving a daughter together, Monica and Shannon announced in March that they would be ending their relationship and the internet was confused AF. Rumors of their separation began in October of last year, but last night, the singer finally shared how she really feels about being a single mother-of-three:
"I think a lot of my life changes have become so complex and difficult. I had two children. I stayed in that relationship a long time, and he was a loss on both levels. Then I finally met my husband and then I had my daughter, and it was good that he was athletic like the boys, so they had their own bond...and then now that's a loss. It's been some rough weeks these last few weeks."
She explained that although she tries to maintain a sense of normalcy throughout this major life change, she's had a hard time adjusting to life as a single woman. Despite her pain, Monica presses through and handles business like the Atlanta-born soul songstress savage that she is, but as we all know, emotional wounds are just as (if not more) painful than physical injuries, and those scars don't heal overnight.
"Things in my personal life have been changing a lot, and it has not been easy. I cannot lie. My personal relationship is taking a major toll on me. I'm feeling it every day. I've been keeping everything to myself and I feel overwhelmed…"
Monica may be going through a tough time in her personal life, but for this GRAMMY-award winning artist, the hustle never stops... Even when it comes to making a life-changing decision; and she's not the only one who is guilty of this "all work, no healing" way of thinking.
For decades, black women have become victim to the superwoman complex, blatantly ignoring the need to succumb to our internal Clark Kent and suffering in silence as a result. It's our belief that our job is to take care of everyone but ourselves, and that mentality does more damage to our loved ones than we know. Monica explained that bottling up her emotions ultimately led her to a point where she was ready to explode.
If you've ever been through a tough time in your life, you know that pressing pause is one of the best things you can do for yourself, but that can be hard when you're constantly trying to balance being a reality star, mother, and legendary R&B singer. Although her outward emotions (or lack thereof) and intense work ethic may seem nonchalant to some, the Miss Thang singer said she has had to try her hardest to keep it together every day:
"I'm everybody's go-to, and I think it makes people think I'm pretending to be perfect when in actuality, I just don't believe in pausing. Cause it's like you pause and you get stuck."
Monica is a testament to the fact that true love starts with self-care. Her need to make everyone else happy ultimately led to a breakdown that could only be remedied by halting the hustle and taking the time to mourn what is dead. It may seem pointless to have a theoretical funeral to grieve the love that you and your ex once shared, but until you let go of what you lost, you can't move on to what God has set aside for you to have.
Watch a sneak peek of the episode below:
Monica Confides in Toya About Her Divorce 'Sneak Peek' | T.I. & Tiny: Friends & Family Hustlewww.youtube.com
Featured image by Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images.
- Monica and Shannon Brown call it quits and file for divorce ›
- Monica Files For Divorce From Shannon Brown! - YouTube ›
- Singer Monica files for divorce from husband Shannon Brown ... ›
- Monica Brown Tired Of Being Cheated On By Husband Shannon ... ›
- Singer Monica divorces Shannon Brown ›
- Monica Files for Divorce from Shannon Brown After 8 Years: Report ... ›
- The Internet Torn After Monica Brown Files Divorce From Husband ... ›
- Report: Singer Monica Files For Divorce From Husband Shannon ... ›
- R&B Singer Monica Files for Divorce From Shannon Brown ›
- Singer Monica Files for Divorce from Ex-NBA Player Shannon Brown ›
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
My name is Yasmine Jameelah, and I’m a founder, journalist, freelance writer, and dog mama. Wellness is at the intersection of everything that I do.
Six years ago, I started a small wellness community on Instagram after embarking on a healing journey in my mid-twenties that I documented via a blog where I wrote about healing, therapy, celibacy, and growth after what felt like years of chaos. Six years later, that wellness community has blossomed into one of the largest online wellness platforms for Black women called Transparent Black Girl which has a reach of over five million Black women.
It still sounds crazy to say that aloud, to know that a 24-year-old girl planted the seeds of the life that this 30-year-old woman gets to live now.
While I was growing my company, because my love for writing was so strong, I went back to school and obtained my master's in journalism. I’ve worked as a freelance writer, an editor, and a frequent contributor to publications that I respect greatly, xoNecole being one of them! My journalism career has been a reflection of my passion and heart for wellness and the culture. My day-to-day is busy, but we manage to get it done, and on the days that I can’t, I give myself grace to do what I can with the time that I have.
My days consist of events, long walks with my dog, freelance pitching, and deciding what content creation and events will look like for my wellness collective, Transparent & Black.
Now, follow me on a random day in my life.
Morning
5:00 a.m.
My Goldendoodle keeps me on a schedule, so every morning, like clockwork, he wakes me up to use the bathroom and eat breakfast, at 5 a.m.! Am I usually over it first thing in the morning? 100%, but his being on a schedule challenges me to stick with mine and start the day on a productive note. He’s a wellness dog which means I feed him home-cooked meals and give him supplements daily to support his health, and he has a daily dental treat to keep his teeth healthy. Canine dental hygiene is imperative for a long life and a good smelling breath!
Today, I’m heading into the city, and I’ll be there almost all day, so when I’m gone that long, I take him to doggy daycare.
7:00 a.m.
Doggy daycare drop-off is filled with tons of barks, and my dog is practically jumping out of the car with excitement to see his friends. Now, some of y’all might be thinking, doggy daycare, sis, that’s too much for a dog! But it’s not, socialization is key for dogs, and so is keeping my house intact when I’m gone for long periods of time. Does he go daily? No, we aren’t rich (yet, we gotta manifest!), but when my dog is happy and experiencing play, and I’m happy attending events, I feel accomplished.
Having a pet is a serious responsibility, and I pride myself on knowing that I am invested in his mental and emotional health by encouraging his socialization with his friends.
7:30 a.m.
Headed to my local coffee shop to grab my go-to order. Iced coffee, a single shot of espresso, half and half, and 3 pumps of agave. Winter, spring, summer, fall, I am an iced coffee girl. I love it, especially after a workout where I’ve broken a sweat - nothing about having hot coffee after I’ve been sweating for over an hour feels good to me.
8:00 a.m.
Back home listening to Carlos King's commentary on YouTube in the shower (what can I say, commentary on reality TV drama relaxes me, don’t judge!) and prepping for the first stop on the agenda for today which is an event in the city. Without traffic, I’m about a 25-minute drive to Manhattan but it’s rush hour, so that 25 minutes is about 55 which means I have to head out soon so that I can arrive on time.
Courtesy
9:00 a.m.
Headed to Manhattan for a Black History Month event with Meta, Peloton, and We The Culture. I wanted to take the train, but I ran out of time, so I hopped in an Uber because I didn’t want to be late, and I had my daily check-in with my best friend while I rode in the Uber. We talk daily and have since our early twenties to check in with each other. I'm grateful that while many aspects of my life have changed, this is still a constant. As we age, prioritizing our friendships for sure gets harder, but it’s not impossible in the least bit when both parties are invested.
9:30 a.m.
Emailing my editor from the car to ask for a deadline extension and sharing with her my ideas for pieces for the month! I’m grateful to have been on both sides of the journalism space. I’ve been a managing editor for years for publications, and I’ve also had the honor to work with managing editors, deputy editors, and editors-in-chief who have poured into me and understood how quickly my schedule can change, I’m honored at the magic we’re able to create together.
As a storyteller, from content that I share to my platform to pieces that I write, I’m having fun again in this season of my life, and I am loving it.
Courtesy
10:00 a.m.
The event begins, and I can’t lie, when I host my own events, I’m not scared, but as a social anxiety girlie, events sometimes can be a little scary. I am naturally a very shy girl, but wellness events always feel like home to me. You don’t have to dress up; you can show up in workout gear because most of the time you’re experiencing some form of wellness and fitness even during the event. Moments into the panel discussion we experienced a seated meditation led by Peloton instructor Dr. Chelsea Jackson Roberts - talk about a way to kick the day off!
Courtesy
The discussion hosted by Meta and Peleton touched on the importance of taking up space in industries and spaces where Black women and people are underrepresented, our self-care regimens, and We The Culture also shared how their work came to be. It was such a powerful event, and of course, we got the inside scoop on Peloton’s newest machines! I also spoke with some people (it’s important to me to always say hello to those who put on the event) and ended up sitting next to THE Pilates girl herself, Raven Ross. She was such a sweetheart, and we talked about our love for Pilates and the importance of community events like this.
Afternoon
2:00 p.m.
Leaving the event, I headed to Sephora to see if I could find Topicals' always sold-out Slick Salve, but to no avail, so I pulled out my phone and ordered it on their website as I walked back to the train station to head back home. I am a girl who loves to walk, so I’m always down for a long walk to the station and a walk back home when time permits, so that’s exactly what I did. I did about four miles just between walking back to Penn Station and walking back to my apartment once I got off the train!
4:30 p.m.
My phone started blowing up because the piece that Oprah Daily asked me to write was published for Black History Month, and my face was on Oprah’s website, AOL’s homepage, and the publication's Instagram page! My mama, aunties, cousins, dad, and everyone who has known me since I was a little girl were beyond proud and excited to see that and how far I’ve come.
Courtesy
Evening / Night
Courtesy
5:30 p.m.
I headed to my gym in my home (praise the Lord for apartment amenities) for a quick swim before I picked up my dog from daycare, and then I headed to the sauna and ran into a neighbor who is another successful Black woman killing it in her own right in the tech space. We chatted about life updates and the importance of taking time for our mental health and it felt good to ground myself with swimming. Much of my life has changed in the past few years, but swimming has remained a constant.
Whenever something amazing happens I soak it in and then immediately do what I can to ground myself to stay present, humble, grateful, and focused on what’s ahead.
Courtesy
6:30 p.m.
It started raining badly and my anxiety is all over the place on the drive to pick up my dog but I practice some deep breathing and remind myself that I have had a calm day and it can end calm as well. I don’t need to rush there, I can drive at a pace that feels good to me. My mother calls to check on me because she sees the weather is terrible and asks me to let her know when I arrive safely.
7:00 p.m.
I arrived at doggy daycare, and the rain is calming down. Can y’all see why I take him?! They watch him all day! My dog is exhausted in the best way and ready to go home and sleep, and I can sit down and relax when we head back home.
9:00 p.m.
I’m back home, took a bath, ordered my favorite healthy Chinese takeout (beef and shrimp with broccoli, light sauce with brown rice), and I’m on the couch with a glass of sustainable wine from one of my favorite Black-owned brands, House of Brown watching Sistaswith a side of kimchi to enjoy with dinner. My candles are lit, I’m letting the highs of the day sit with me and stillness come over me as I prepare for bed.
10:30 p.m.
I took my dog out for a final walk, gave him his bedtime treat, and it’s lights out to prepare for another day.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by courtesy