A breakup can be enough to make you break down, and divorce can magnify that feeling tenfold. After meeting your partner at the altar and committing yourself to someone for the rest of your life, knowing that your happily ever after will never come to fruition can be a hard pill to swallow. Nevertheless, we persist in being the badass bosses that we were born to be despite a broken heart and newfound loneliness, and with the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it may seem unrealistic to take time to grieve a dead relationship. But according to Monica on the latest episode of The Family Hustle, it's necessary, sis.
In a candid conversation with her good friend, Toya Wright, the 38-year-old broke down in tears in a conversation about filing for divorce from her husband, former NBA player, Shannon Brown. The couple met on the set of her video "Love All Over Me" in June 2010, shortly after Monica and her former fiance broke it off, and married a mere six months later.
After nearly nine years of marriage and conceiving a daughter together, Monica and Shannon announced in March that they would be ending their relationship and the internet was confused AF. Rumors of their separation began in October of last year, but last night, the singer finally shared how she really feels about being a single mother-of-three:
"I think a lot of my life changes have become so complex and difficult. I had two children. I stayed in that relationship a long time, and he was a loss on both levels. Then I finally met my husband and then I had my daughter, and it was good that he was athletic like the boys, so they had their own bond...and then now that's a loss. It's been some rough weeks these last few weeks."
She explained that although she tries to maintain a sense of normalcy throughout this major life change, she's had a hard time adjusting to life as a single woman. Despite her pain, Monica presses through and handles business like the Atlanta-born soul songstress savage that she is, but as we all know, emotional wounds are just as (if not more) painful than physical injuries, and those scars don't heal overnight.
"Things in my personal life have been changing a lot, and it has not been easy. I cannot lie. My personal relationship is taking a major toll on me. I'm feeling it every day. I've been keeping everything to myself and I feel overwhelmed…"
Monica may be going through a tough time in her personal life, but for this GRAMMY-award winning artist, the hustle never stops... Even when it comes to making a life-changing decision; and she's not the only one who is guilty of this "all work, no healing" way of thinking.
For decades, black women have become victim to the superwoman complex, blatantly ignoring the need to succumb to our internal Clark Kent and suffering in silence as a result. It's our belief that our job is to take care of everyone but ourselves, and that mentality does more damage to our loved ones than we know. Monica explained that bottling up her emotions ultimately led her to a point where she was ready to explode.
If you've ever been through a tough time in your life, you know that pressing pause is one of the best things you can do for yourself, but that can be hard when you're constantly trying to balance being a reality star, mother, and legendary R&B; singer. Although her outward emotions (or lack thereof) and intense work ethic may seem nonchalant to some, the Miss Thang singer said she has had to try her hardest to keep it together every day:
"I'm everybody's go-to, and I think it makes people think I'm pretending to be perfect when in actuality, I just don't believe in pausing. Cause it's like you pause and you get stuck."
Monica is a testament to the fact that true love starts with self-care. Her need to make everyone else happy ultimately led to a breakdown that could only be remedied by halting the hustle and taking the time to mourn what is dead. It may seem pointless to have a theoretical funeral to grieve the love that you and your ex once shared, but until you let go of what you lost, you can't move on to what God has set aside for you to have.
Watch a sneak peek of the episode below:
Monica Confides in Toya About Her Divorce 'Sneak Peek' | T.I. & Tiny: Friends & Family Hustle www.youtube.com
Featured image by Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images.