Mary J. Blige Reflects On Past Marriage & Sees That She Was Looking For A Savior, Not A Husband

After forgiving both herself and her ex-husband, Mary has chosen to level up her life by putting herself first.

Celebrity News

I've never really been a relationship person, and I say that because rarely have I found a person that's actually suitable to be in a relationship with. Although I've worked relentlessly to convince my homegirls that my "Single for Life" mantra was by choice, not force, when I was alone, I desperately longed to have someone fill the God-sized void in my heart; so in an attempt to sex away my loneliness, I searched and searched for the man I thought could heal me. Then, entered my ex.

With money, dick, and words of affirmation, I was convinced that God had sent him into my life to rescue me from my depression and save me from my despair, and for a long time, I saw him as my hero. But after months of working to repair the holes that the wounds of my past had left behind, I still felt broken. It wasn't long before I learned that he couldn't fix me—that was an inside job that only I was capable of. Despite years of believing that he was the reason for my survival, I now know that the protagonist in my story is me.

In a recent interview with SELF.com, Mary J. Blige revealed that after the finalization of her divorce with her husband of 15 years and subsequent glow-up, she can totally relate. These days, Mary is in the gym, minding her mental health, and focused on getting her self-care game all the way together, but only after healing from addiction, heartbreak, and one of the biggest betrayals in her life.

After being molested at the age of 5, Mary says that she used drugs, alcohol, and toxic relationships to pacify her pain until she met who she thought was her Prince Charming. She explained that although in the past, she saw her ex-husband as her savior, today she understands that he doesn't "deserve that credit".

"Well, when I look back, I see that we all want what we want. And we want it to be the way we want it to be. I wanted a savior. I'd been hurting so long, and so much, and so bad."

Although Mary refused to seek professional help for years, the singer says that enduring her personal struggles so publicly has helped her undergo another kind of therapy.

"It happened because every night that I'm at these shows, I have at least four women say [to me], 'You got me through the divorce that I was going through. That Strength of a Woman album? We was going through [your] divorce with you'…. I had to go through that in order to serve."

The 48-year-old songstress says that refuses to let the sins of her ex-husband affect how she chooses to see the world and says that for her, pushing forward was the only option:

"People are watching. So how do I come out of this unburned, unscathed? This is my life that was taken from me…I don't want to come out of this and be mad at the world, and be mad at every man on the planet."

After forgiving both herself and her ex-husband, Mary has chosen to level up her life by putting herself first, remembering that sometimes you have to be your own superhero. She explained that today, her main priority is being who her five-year-old self needed, and Mary plans to protect that little girl at all costs:

"Right now I'm not thinking about anybody but her. I love people, I love the world, I love my nieces, I love my nephews, I love my family, I love them so deeply. But right now it's about me and little Mary. It's like that's my baby, my little girl. She needs my help…and I'm not going to ever let anybody hurt her again. She needs to live, she needs to play. She doesn't mind her life being used to help someone else…. But I have to take care of her."

To read Mary's full interview, click here!

Featured image by Andrea Raffin / Shutterstock.com

Michael B. Jordan is in love y’all and is telling everyone about it. The Creed actor and Lori Harvey sent the internet into a frenzy when rumors first swirled of the couple dating in late 2020 after they were spotted leaving a flight together. And in January 2021, the two confirmed their relationship with the public. Now, after celebrating their one-year anniversary, the once Hollywood’s most eligible bachelor is professing his love for the model.

Keep reading... Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

Ready for the New Moon in Sagittarius on Saturday, December 4th? Ready or not, it’s coming for you. Fortunately, it promises to bring good tidings and positive blessings just in time for the holidays! This month’s New Moon features a total solar eclipse. Solar eclipses are extremely significant events that usher in new beginnings and bright new opportunities.

Keep reading... Show less

The holiday season is here and we can't help but be thankful for all the things. On the heels of the CFDA Awards and Hanifa's groundbreaking runway show, the excitement about getting dressed is at an all-time high. Now's the time to lean into those fall basics while also pulling out all the stops by rocking your statement pieces.

Keep reading... Show less

Since Kehlani first burst onto the scene in 2015 with their song “The Way,” fans have witnessed the singer experience many evolutions in their career and personal life. From becoming a mother to coming out as a lesbian, Kehlani’s journey has been nothing short of ordinary as they continue to find themselves with the world watching. Now, it looks as if the “Nunya” singer’s identity is experiencing another rebirth.

Keep reading... Show less

We first reported on Meagan Good starring in the new Amazon Prime Video series Harlem in November and now the veteran actress is opening up about her character on the show. Harlem is written and executive produced by Tracy Oliver and highlights four Black women in their 30’s who are best friends and taking on New York’s famous Black neighborhood.

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews

'David Makes Man' Star Arlen Escarpeta Believes Love And Accountability Go Hand In Hand

"While we are quick to judge others, we really have to look at ourselves and call out some of the things that we do."

Latest Posts