If there are two things that I write about on the regular and, at the same time, continue to be amazed that there are more "versions" to unfold, it's dating trends and types of orgasms. Today's article is evidence that the longer I live—and research—the more stuff I am able to find. As if orgasms weren't already mind-blowing enough, did you know that there is such a thing as a super orgasm? Super. Orgasm. Have. Mercy.
And just what exactly is a super orgasm, pray tell? I promise that y'all ain't even ready. A super orgasm is when—brace yourselves, now—someone is able to climax anywhere between 12-100 times…in a row! While this was once perceived as being about as rare as a rainbow unicorn or Bigfoot sighting, a documentary has revealed that scientists are now discovering that women who have these actually do exist. That's not all—they also believe that there are tools that all of us can apply in order to have a super orgasm too. And just what does a sista have to do in order to experience this freaky freak of nature? Here's what my research revealed.
The Six Things You Need in Order to Have a Super Orgasm
1. A Boost of Oxytocin
When it comes to super orgasms, one thing that several scientists discovered was the women who had them had a heightened level of oxytocin in their system. Oxytocin is simply a hormone and neurotransmitter in our body that naturally produces good feelings and makes us want to get closer to our partner. It can be triggered while cuddling, kissing and definitely during sex. Although the women in the study naturally had more oxytocin running through their veins, there are actually things you can do to give your oxytocin levels a boost. You can get more of the vitamins C, D and magnesium into your system. You can drink a little more java (yep, caffeine increases oxytocin). If coffee ain't your thing, you can drink some chamomile tea. You can also apply some jasmine or clary sage essential oil to your pressure points. All of these are proven ways to give yourself a natural oxytocin boost.
2. A Yoga Class
You can read articles on our site like "Energize Your Mornings With These Simple Yoga Poses", "8 Yoga Tips Every Beginner Yogi Should Know" and "The Unexpected Lessons Yoga Taught Me About Life" to see that we are pretty big fans of yoga. That's because it does things like reduce stress, increase flexibility, improve muscle tone, teach the correct way to deep breathe and strengthen the heart. But did you also know that there are some sexual perks that come from this form of exercise and meditation too? In fact, there was once a study conducted on 40 women who vouched for the fact that a 12-week yoga class significantly improved their sex life, including their sexual satisfaction. That's because yoga also teaches you how to listen to your body and be present in the moment as it heightens your sense of awareness. Poses like the Cat Pose (which relaxes your spine), the Bridge Pose (which strengthens your pelvic floor), and the One-Legged Pigeon (which stretches and opens up your hips) are just some of the ways that you can get your mind and body prepared for your very first super orgasm. Give it a try. Report in the comments if any of these intensified things for you.
3. A Relaxed State of Mind
It's kind of crazy how many of us are chronic overthinkers, when I can't think of one single area where being in that mindset is beneficial; this includes when it comes to bedroom action. If you're someone who doesn't orgasm nearly as much as you'd like to, it very well be because you are thinking too much about it—both before and during the act.
Instead, ask your partner to give you a massage. Turn on some soft music. Dim the lights. Have some wine. CHILL OUT. Remember, your brain is the biggest sexual organ that you have. This means that the more relaxed it is, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. A Ton of Foreplay
While once reading an article on WebMD's website about the benefits of foreplay, there are two things the writer said that I totally agree with, especially when it comes to women. One, foreplay prepares our mind and body for sex. Two, foreplay makes sex a much more comfortable experience for us ladies. That's because, the more aroused we are, the wetter we become, and the easier it is to be penetrated—deeply and often. From what I've read, in order to achieve a super orgasm, it's important to take the marathon route when it comes to foreplay. Meaning, while a woman, on average, needs somewhere between 15-20 minutes in order to have an orgasm, foreplay needs to be extended to around 30 minutes or so in order for a super orgasm to occur. The key is to do whatever gets you all hot 'n bothered without allowing yourself to climax in the process. It's basically like edging without the penetration. I get it, it might seem like long sessions of "fun torture" at first, but once the orgasms get going, it will be well worth the wait and self-discipline.
5. A Partner with a Long Penis
OK, sooo—when it comes to this one, sometimes you've got to work with what you've got; and sometimes what you've got is not a man with a long penis. The good news is, since most of our most sensitive nerve endings are two inches from the entry of our vagina, a dude who is "packin'" is not required in order to be sexually satisfied. Still, that doesn't change the fact that researchers did discover that the deeper penetration a woman receives, the more likely that she'll be able to have a super orgasm. And the fastest way to make that happen is with a man who has a long penis. If your guy doesn't exactly fit this bill, y'all can always fake it until you make it by trying some of the sex positions for the "less longer" that I found here and here.
6. Quality Time
The last tip for achieving a super orgasm is something that could've easily gone on the top of the list—you need to spend some quality time with your partner. I don't mean the foreplay moments that transpire right before gettin' it in. I mean—going on dates, talking throughout the day, doing things that make you both feel loved, seen, heard and safe.
When two individuals are in this kind of head space, that makes it easier for them to trust one another. And when the combination of desire and trust are present, the sky truly is the limit! You are pretty much down to do whatever in order to make one another feel as mind-blown and satisfied as possible.
Is this all that you need in order to climax a series of times? That's what my research said. And you know what? All of this has brought me to the conclusion that having a super orgasm is not really about mastering a particular technique. It's about being in a tranquil state, thoroughly enjoying your partner and remaining in each and every sexual moment until you transition into the next one. Shoot, if you do those three things, how could you not have some really intense orgasms—or at least a helluva lot of fun tryin' to?
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at email@example.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Russell and Nina Westbrook are one of those low-key, unproblematic couples we don’t talk about enough. They met in college and got married in 2015. They also have a beautiful family with three kids. While Russell is an NBA star, Nina is a licensed family and marriage therapist and a mental health advocate.
She recently launched the podcast The Relationship Chronicles with Nina Westbrook, and in the latest episode, she had none other than her husband on as a guest. The college sweethearts dived into important topics from marriage to children and how they navigate it all.
One of the topics they touched on was dealing with resentment in your relationship. The former MVP highlighted the sacrifices his wife has had to make in order for him to pursue a career in the NBA, and that’s why it’s also important for him to support his wife whenever he can.
“For me is respecting and understanding what your partner do and the time it takes,” Russell said. “Not kind of downplaying what they do, understanding the time and energy and effort they're doing to make sure whether it’s their job or making sure home is taken care of, and understanding that, I think that is the challenge of not being resentful.”
Nina agreed and also shared her thoughts on resentment. According to her, one of the best things couples should do is have their own identity and passions outside of the relationship in an effort to be fulfilled.
“I also think that when you’re in a relationship, that’s why it’s so important that each individual kinda pursue their own passions and follow their own dreams as I feel like it only becomes or leads to resentment when one person is not feeling fulfilled in what they're doing in their lives,” she explained.
“And so, they will start to look at the other partner who’s happy or excelling or promoting or moving along in their journey, then they’re left feeling stuck like they sacrificed themselves, their happiness, their career, their future and have not pursued it in the name of the relationship or their partner. So, it’s so much easier to avoid those feelings of resentment when you’re each equally pursuing your passions.”
The couple has many passions that they work on together and separately. Outside of basketball and his family, Russell has become known for his eclectic style and started the fashion brand Honor The Gift. Nina has her podcast, and she also started the mental health website Bene. Together, they run the Why Not? Foundation, which works with kids in underserved communities.
“I’m a firm believer that one person can’t be everything to you, so you have to sort of seek out those different friendships or groups or hobbies or activities that help to fulfill you,” Nina concluded.
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Feature image by Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images for Religion of Sports