Do you know how to give a blowjob? Not just any blowjob, but an amazing blowjob? Three 6 Mafia had a song out when I was in high school that suggested giving great head was as simple as slobbing on the knob like corn on the cob, but it's much more involved than that. Giving a great blowjob ain't easy. To quote Samantha from Sex and the City: “Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothing.”
Giving a blowjob can be intimidating but it can also be very enjoyable. Like with all things, the science behind the perfect blowjob is practice. It makes perfect. Below, you’ll find 9 blowjob tips from sex experts that will make you a blowjob pro in no time.
1.Treat giving a blowjob like the performance art that it is.
"The best thing you can bring to your oral sex game is enthusiasm! Oral sex is performance art and all performances need a great soundtrack. The quickest way to build enthusiasm is to get a song in your head that makes you feel confident and desirable. The song will take your head out of the game (no pun intended) and allow you to enjoy what you're doing. It will give you a rhythm to perform to. You can even hum the melody into your partner and mouth some of the lyrics for a little razzle-dazzle."
- Goody Howard, MSW, MPH, Sex Educator, @askgoody
2.Play with the senses.
"Don’t be afraid to play with the senses. Playing with sound and sight can really heighten the pleasure. Whether it’s you recording something motivational or just talking your partner up they might appreciate adding a little praise kink to the mix. 'I’m so proud of you, I’m so grateful that you’re in my life and I want you to sit back and enjoy yourself for me' playing in their headphones while you’re showing your oral support or playing a sexy playlist in their headphones while they have a satin scarf around their eyes.
"Switching it up doesn’t always have to mean looking for a new way to reinvent the wheel but going out of your way to make it exciting, different, and pleasurable."
- Samia Burton, Intimacy Coordinator, @sexual.essentials
3.Put some neck into it.
"Use your neck to give that neck. Being able to hit different angles by adjusting/rotating your neck gives your jaw a break and helps you explore different parts of his manhood while leaving room for sucking creativity!"
- CoCo, The Conversational Freak, @theconversationalfreak
4.The gag is, gag on it.
"Spit, spit, and more spit! Keep the penis juicy with a lot of spit. Allow the saliva from your mouth to cover the penis. This isn’t the time to be prim and proper, get nasty…gag, choke, slob all over it."
- Jasmine Daniels, MPH, The Vagina Liberator, @thevaginaliberator
5.Find your rhythm and breathe through your nose.
"Relax and breathe through your nose. This point is sort of twofold but they go together so we are going to count it as one. Naturally, when we relax we tend to take our time and not rush through things which in turn allows us time to breathe. The same strategy applies when there’s a penis going down your throat. Relax, find your rhythm, and breathe through your nose. You can increase the pace as you go along."
- J.Marie, MBA, Sexologist, @boobtionary
6.Add some props to the mix.
"Don't be afraid to try new things and explore. Level up by adding some props to the experience. Just like clits like vibration, so do dicks! Place a bullet-style vibrator on your cheek or under your chin to turn your whole mouth into a vibrator. The erectile tissue of a penis extends further down past the ball sack so applying that same vibrator underneath on the taint area will stimulate that tissue as well as radiate the vibration to the prostate creating a more intense orgasm for them.
"If you don't want the worry of having to hold a bullet vibrator, a vibrating c-ring can get the job done as well. You can place the vibrating piece wherever your partner likes while being hands-free for other exploration. There's plenty of variations of products to fit your choice of stimulation."
- Linnea Marie, Certified Sex Educator, @ex.x.xiteme
7.Show love to the frenulum.
"Give the frenulum attention. The penis has a highly sensitive vein along the back of the shaft. Give this vein some attention and watch the toes curl. You don't have to do too much to stimulate. Drag the tip of your tongue up and down the vein. Try out different variations of pressure with your tongue. If you have the oral capabilities, dragging your tongue up and down that vein specifically as you are sucking on the penis is top tier."
- Javay Frye-Nekrasova, MEd, Millennial Sexpert, @millennialsexpert
8.Give yourself a 'helping hand.'
"For those who don't like to swallow semen, try using a masturbator sleeve, like the Helping Hand by Bedroom Kandi with flavored lube. Use the sleeve on the shaft to allow him to fill the ribbed edges on the inside. When he ejaculates use the sleeve to catch the semen."
- Renee Yvonne, Certified Sex Coach at The Gen Sexologist, @thegensexologist
9.Opt out of shame.
"Remove all shame and judgments. This is a time to be wild, fun, and cocky. Pull your hair back. Let your clothes get wet. Make ugly sounds if you want. Don't worry about your nose or eyes running. You are there to give pleasure and be a part of their orgasm."
- Dr. Kreszentia Snyder, LCPC, Sexologist, Sex and Relationship Therapist, @DrEatPrayKink, @mindsempoweredcounseling
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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Colman Domingo’s Career Advice Is A Reminder That Our Words Shape Our Reality
When it comes to life, we are always here for a good reminder to shift our mindsets, and Colman Domingo just gave us one we didn't know we needed.
In a resurfaced clip from an appearance at NewFest shared as a repost via Micheaux Film Festival, the Emmy award winner dropped a gem on how he has navigated his decades-spanning career in Hollywood. The gem in question? Well, Colman has never identified with "struggle" in his career. Let that sit.
Colman Domingo On Not Claiming Struggle
"I’ve never said that this career was tough. I’ve never said it was difficult. I’ve never said it was hard," Colman said. "Other people would say that—‘oh, you're in a very difficult industry. It's very hard to get work and book work.’ I’m like, I’ve never believed that."
Instead of allowing himself to be defined by other people's projections about their perceptions of what the industry is or was, Colman dared to believe differently even if his reality was playing catch up with his dreams:
"Like Maya Angelou said words are things. And if you believe that, then that's actually what it is. Actually I've just never believed it. Someone told me some years ago, they said, 'I remember you were, you're a struggling actor.' I'm like, 'I don't.'"
"I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living..."
He continued:
"Even when I was bartending and hustling and not having opportunities or anything, I never believed that I was struggling because I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living and creating and being curious."
Colman’s philosophy of attaching to living instead of struggle has blossomed into an enduring career. He first made his mark on stage in acclaimed Broadway productions before transitioning to the screen, where his star began to rise in the 2010s following his role as Victor Strand in Fear The Walking Dead. From there, his presence only grew, landing memorable supporting roles in If Beale Street Could Talk, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, and the hit series Euphoria.
In more recent years, Colman has stepped fully into the spotlight with standout leading performances in Rustin and Sing Sing, both of which earned him widespread critical acclaim and Academy Award nominations for Best Actor.
With all that said, Colman's advice is no doubt powerful, especially for those who are chasing their dreams, building something from the ground up, or have question marks about what's next in their careers. Words shape our realities, and how we speak about our journeys even in passing matters.
Words Create Our Reality & Colman Is Living Proof
"I tell young people that. To remember the words that you say about yourself and your career are true. So, I choose to make it full of light and love and it's interesting and every day I'm going to learn something new even if it looks like I don't have what I want but it's important to be in the moment... you really build on the moments moment to moment.
"And you're looking back at your career as I've been in it for what 33 years and you're like, 'Wow, that's what I've been doing.' And I've stayed strong to that so I think that is truly my advice."
Let this be your sign to give your path a reframe. When the path you're on feels uncertain, the journey is still unfolding. Like Colman said: "I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living."
That's a Black king right there.
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