

While I was checking out a video by YouTuber Obaa Yaa Jones on things that Black women can do to keep moisture in their hair (you can watch it here), it got me to thinking about hair masks. More specifically, why hair masks should be incorporated at least every other wash day. Now hear me out.
As Black women, most of us have curls that are tight to the point that it’s difficult for the natural sebum that is on our scalp to travel all the way down the strands of our hair in order to fully lubricate them. If you add to that the reality that some of us also have the type of hair porosity that makes it hard for our locks to retain moisture, it can be a constant struggle to give our tresses the hydration that they need in order to avoid damage and breakage (so that we can retain the hair length that we are after). One thing that can make this less of an issue? Hair masks.
If you’re somewhat familiar with hair masks but you honestly haven’t tried them (yet), take a few moments to read this all the way through. As someone who has high porosity hair and is on her own journey to gain longer locks that are super healthy, I’ve been playing around with hair masks for a minute now — and even though it is an extra step to what can already be quite the wash day sometimes…honestly, I don’t have not one regret.
What Is a Hair Mask?
Okay, so you know how, oftentimes, when getting a facial, a mask will be incorporated in order to treat certain types of skin issues? Hair masks basically do the same thing — only, they’re specifically made for your tresses and they’re usually for the purpose of deeply penetrating your hair with hydration.
What I’ve come to find is if your hair is particularly dry, you color-treat your hair, you’ve been noticing signs of heat damage, and/or you enjoy wearing your hair in its natural state (and you want your curls to have less frizz so that they can really pop), hair masks can benefit you on a few different levels. That’s because the heavy amount of oils and/or butters in them can help to create some real moisture-related restoration.
What Are the Tips for Getting the Most Out of a Hair Mask?
In a moment, I’m going to share with you some hair mask options that are available to you. First, though, let’s talk a bit about how you can receive the most benefits from using a hair mask.
Treat the issue. Not all hair masks are just alike, so although more moisture may be your ultimate goal, if your hair has worn-out ends, seek out a hair mask that treats that. Color-treated? Look for one that is good for that. Frizzing going on? Get a hair mask for that. This is important because, personally, there have been times when I’ve just picked up a popular hair mask that ended up not doing me much good; the reason why is because it was for one thing when I had something entirely different going on with my tresses.
Follow the instructions. If you decide to go with a commercial brand, the instructions are there for a reason. Please make sure to read them and follow them all the way through. Otherwise, your hair may not end up as hydrated, soft, or manageable as you were hoping for.
Not on the scalp; definitely on the ends. A big mistake that a lot of people make when it comes to hair masks is they just scoop up a handful and put it on top of their head. Yeah…naw. You need to make sure that you’ve got enough to coat your freshly washed hair from root to tip; however, keep in mind that hair masks are more for your hair than your scalp. This point is key because many ingredients that are in a lot of hair masks could potentially clog up your hair follicles and/or irritate your scalp, if you massage your scalp with them or leave the product on your scalp for a long period of time.
Cover your hair up. Putting a hair mask on your locks, only to wash it out after five minutes or so, isn’t going to get you the kind of results that you seek. If you’re really going to do this hair mask thing in excellence, be prepared to have your hair wrapped up in a shower cap, warm towel, or steamer for no less than an hour. In fact, some hair masks recommend that you leave them on overnight (although, don’t come to that conclusion on your own; again, read the instructions).
Make it a part of your hair care routine. There is something to be said about the need to “train your hair” in order to get it how you’d like it to be. That’s why it’s important to not just one-and-done your hair when it comes to hair masks. Me? I try to treat my locks to one every other wash day (and I typically wash my hair every two weeks).
How Do You Choose a Hair Mask That Is Best for You?
Now that you know a bit about how to get the most benefits from a hair mask, you might be wondering which one you should use. Honestly, this could require a bit of trial and error on your part; however, there are articles like Shape’s “14 Hair Masks That Will Give You the Healthiest Strands of Your Life, Vetted and Reviewed” and Glamour’s “The Best Natural Hair Masks, According to the Pros” can potentially point you in the right direction. Another hack would be to go to your favorite search engine and put “hair mask for Black women” in the search field to see some natural hair-specific options.
Okay, but what if you’d prefer to avoid as many chemicals as possible? If that is indeed the case, there are a ton of DIY hair mask options for you to choose from. Below, I’ve included five homemade hair mask options along with some of the reasons why the ingredients in them are such a wise choice.
RECIPE #1
1 Tablespoon of Honey
1 Tablespoon of Avocado
1 Teaspoon of Rosemary Oil
Your hair will adore honey becauseit’s a humectant; this means that it absorbs moisture from the air and pulls it into your skin and hair. Some other selling points about honey are it's rich in antioxidants and antibacterial properties,it deeply conditions your hair and it helps to strengthen your strands over time.
Avocados are rich in fatty acids that also help to cultivate (and retain) moisture in your hair; plus, the vitamins C and E work together to reduce frizz, prevent free radicals from harming your hair, and reduce damage as well. Rosemary oil? It also conditions your hair while increasing blood circulation to your hair follicles which results in faster and stronger hair growth.
RECIPE #2
½ Cup of Cocoa Powder
2 Teaspoons of Coconut Cream
1 Teaspoon of Coconut Oil
If it sounds crazy to you to put cocoa powder in your hair, you might want to read “12 Ways Dark Chocolate Can Benefit Your Body From Head To Toe.” The reality is there are nutrients in cocoa (like iron, magnesium, potassium, zinc, and copper) that can help to strengthen your hair and add shine and volume to it as well.
The high amounts of lauric acid and protein in coconut cream (or milk) can help to reduce hair loss and dandruff as it deeply moisturizes your hair for longer periods of time. Coconut oil is similar to coconut milk/cream, the only bonus is it can help to protect your hair’s cuticles (which can reduce breakage) too.
RECIPE #3
2 Tablespoons of Sweet Almond Oil
1 Teaspoon of Cinnamon
5 Drops of Peppermint Oil
I’ve been using sweet almond oil on my skin for quite some time now. Hair-wise, I dibble and dabble in it with no regrets because the oil has the ability to deeply moisturize my hair and also prevent split ends, thanks to the high concentration of Vitamin E that it contains. Cinnamon can help you out because it has properties that can help with hair growth; some research even says that this spice could help you end up with thicker hair.
Peppermint oil is always going to be a winner because it can potentially help to reduce hair loss, it increases blood circulation and oxygen flow to your hair follicles and it contains antimicrobials that reduce dandruff and dryness as well.
RECIPE #4
½ Cup of Aloe Vera Gel
1 Tablespoon of Olive Oil
5 Drops of Tea Tree Oil
Being that Aloe vera is made up of almost 99 percent water (no joke), that should already give you enough insight into why it’s a stellar conditioner for your hair. Beyond that, though, Aloe vera is a great hair mask ingredient because it has vitamins A, B12, C, and E that can help to strengthen your hair and properties that can help to improve your hair’s texture.
Olive oil is a great treatment for overly processed hair or if you want to prevent split ends. Tea tree oil is wonderful when it comes to removing product build-up.
RECIPE #5
1 Banana
1 Egg
2 Teaspoons of Plain Greek Yogurt
If any of these recipes is a throwback classic, it would have to be this one; that’s because it’s common for bananas, eggs, and yogurt to go into homemade hair masks. A cool thing about bananas is they contain something known as silica; it’s a chemical compound that reduces frizz. There are also antioxidants in bananas that help to decrease oxidative stress (which can lead to hair damage) and bananas can deeply condition your hair too.
Eggs? Eggs are loaded with protein (which your hair is made mostly of) which means that they can strengthen your hair as well as decrease dryness. Greek yogurt can also give your hair a protein boost as it also strengthens your hair follicles and softens your strands.
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I promise you that, no matter how many articles you read on how to have a head full of thriving hair, especially when it comes to us, maintaining moisture is going to be mentioned. Now that you know that hair masks are top-tier at doing this for you…seems like this needs to be on your next wash-day agenda…right? For real, though.
It’s worth the time and effort. Trust me.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Are You & Your Partner Financially Compatible? Here’s How To Tell.
With nearly half of all marriages that end in divorce citing finances as the nail in the coffin to deading their relationship, financial compatibility is one aspect of long-term compatibility that doesn't get talked about enough. Beyond the circular 50/50 discourse and whatever hot-button issues regarding providers and the like, at its core, financial compatibility is about how well your financial behaviors, values, and long-term goals align with those of your partner.
More than it is about how much money a person makes or doesn't make, financial compatibility focuses on how you think about money, how you spend your money, and most importantly, how you plan for the future with your money. Think, questions about money mindsets, spending habits, debt, budget, etc. Are you a saver and he's a spender? Do you see money as a tool for freedom? Does he see it as something to hold on tightly to as a means of survival? Can you talk about your financial goals and plans openly?
Knowing if you and your partner are financially compatible can save a lot of heartache, a lot of headaches, and a lot of money in the end. Keep reading for a few key indicators to pay attention to and learn whether or not you and your partner are truly aligned financially.
Signs You’re Financially Compatible
1. You can talk about money without judgment.
Conversations about money aren't something you dread. You're able to talk to your partner freely and openly about money matters, like debts, bills, the budget, etc., even when it is uncomfortable. There is an understanding that talking about money doesn't have to be something you're on the defense about, instead it's an opportunity for transparency, clarity, and solutions.
2. You respect each other's money personalities.
What is a money personality? According to Ken Honda, author of Happy Money, a money personality is our "approach and emotional responses to money" and there are seven money personalities we can fall under. These personalities can help us understand our own relationship with money, as well as our partner's. For example, maybe you're someone who likes to treat yourself to a fancy dinner once a month and your partner is someone who believes ordering takeout and not cooking meals at home is a cardinal sin.
When you can respect each other's money personalities, neither approach is subjected to judgment and shifts can be made in each other's spending habits as needed and from a place of love versus guilt or shame.
3. You agree on what it means to have "financial security."
Whether it’s building a stacked emergency fund, paying off debt before putting a downpayment on a home or being able to splurge on a baecation without checking your account balance before the bill arrives, your definitions of what it means to be financially secure are in sync, or at least compatible enough to reach a compromise.
4. You are not each other's "financial parent."
You’re not constantly teaching, fixing, or stressing out over what the other person is doing with their money. Although I fast-forwarded through a lot of the most recent season of Love Is Blind, I did pay attention to Virginia and Devin and money seemed to be a recurring theme in their conversations. It was clear Virginia had her ish together when it came to money and her financial plans for the future and Devin was not quite on her level.
Though she said no at the altar for additional reasons, I could also see how sis could eventually get very tired of being her partner's second mama, so to speak. And that's the thing about being your partner's "financial parent," eventually, you could end up feeling like you are one-half of a "parenting" or "teaching" dynamic with your partner instead of feeling like you're equals in a partnership.
5. You make financial decisions with each other in mind, not for each other.
Whether it’s booking a trip, deciding which debt to tackle first, saving up for a big purchase, or planning out your next move, there’s a mutual respect for each other’s input. Those shared goals might look like wealth, freedom, stability, or just a debt-free life that feels soft and secure.
You don’t have to be chasing the same bag in the same exact way, but you do need to be aligned on the vision. What you're building should feel like a joint venture with shared effort and purpose, not one of y’all making major money moves like you're still single. Making financial decisions is not just about where the money goes, it's about where you’re going together.
6. You're aligned when it comes to the big stuff.
Financial compatibility extends to the long-term of money management. The legacy, structure, and shared responsibility that comes with decisions like shared accounts, estate planning, having babies, or even blending families. Will you split bills or combine income? Who’s taking time off if you have a child? How do y’all feel about generational wealth or investing for your family’s future? You and your partner have had the real conversations.
These conversations can’t wait until after the wedding or until after a baby’s here. They’re the foundation for how you function as a unit, and if you're not aligned, or at least willing to get on the same page, that incompatibility can cause friction in the end that love alone can't fix.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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