February is all about manifesting the life of your dreams! Aquarius Season is underway, Mercury is officially out of retrograde, and there is a Full Moon in Leo as the month begins. Magic is what we are walking into as we move through February, and this is the time of being an active creator of your life. Think about your hopes and dreams and how confident you are in seeing them come to fruition. The Leo Full Moon is on February 5th and is the Snow Moon of the year. This Full Moon is about recognizing the progress that you feel in your life right now, owning your successes and who you are, and understanding sometimes growth needs to be felt within before it manifests without.
Mercury enters Aquarius on February 11th, and Mercury in Aquarius puts communication, community, and logic to the forefront. Mercury will be in this air sign until March 2nd, and communication channels flow with inspired ideas, unique perspectives, and progressive conversations. This is the month to use your voice, speak up about what you are passionate about, and also be willing to learn something new. Pisces Season begins on February 18th, and this Pisces Season is a time of new beginnings and having compassion for yourself and others. Pisces Season is a time of the year when emotions are heightened, and transparency prevails.
The New Moon of the month occurs in Pisces on February 20th, and this New Moon is bringing about an influx of passion and opportunity with Venus entering Aries on the same day. This New Moon is all about setting your intentions, believing in them wholeheartedly, and allowing unconditional love into your life. While Venus is in Aries until March 16th, love takes on a more independent tone, and Venus in Aries doesn’t settle for anything less than excitement, passion, and authenticity. February overall is a time of believing in yourself, creating from the heart, and allowing a new beginning to take place in your life.
Aries
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a time of tapping into your inner power, Aries. You are coming to some important conclusions and insights and are supported on your path toward self-discovery. Some big changes are happening for you in February, and with the Sun in your 11th house for most of the month, you are feeling an ease of connection, community, and understanding in your world.
On February 5th there is a Full Moon in your 5th house of romance, and love is blooming for you. Your relationships are coming full circle, and you are seeing the truth of the connections in your life right now. Before the month ends, Venus, the planet of love, enters your sign and will be here from February 20th - March 16th. The love in your life is here to stay, and this month is about recognizing yourself as worthy of that.
Taurus
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about nurturing your world, Taurus. You are rising above and doing what needs to be done to maintain your peace. You have created a good environment around you to nurture yourself and others and thrive, and you are enjoying the gifts of the present moment. In February you are showing up.
With the Sun moving into your house of friendship on February 18th and a New Moon here a few days later, your people are coming in. You are recognizing the soulmate connections in your life right now, and this is a month to open your mind to new possibilities and connections as well. Venus enters your 12th house of endings before the month ends, and it’s all about releasing the past and creating a new path forward for yourself.
Gemini
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a breakthrough month for you, Gemini. This is a month where you are feeling positively moved by the transformations that have been playing out for you, and you are flowing in synergy. This is the month to spend more time on the things you love, take care of your energy, and do what makes you happy.
Your ruling planet Mercury is officially direct in February, and communication channels clear up. Mercury moves into your 9th house on February 11th and you are exploring your options right now. You are inspired by the open horizons that are presenting themselves to you this month and enjoying where you are. The Sun moves into your house of career and goals before the month ends, and you get in serious mode moving into March.
Cancer
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThe universe has your back, Cancer. This month is about remaining patient with what is becoming for you and trusting the divine timing of your life. Success is there for you this month and it’s about recognizing the true gifts in your world while creating the space for more. You are in the perfect position to receive blessings, and you can trust the path that you are on right now.
Mercury moves into your 8th house of rebirth on February 11th, and you move into the month going through a time of rejuvenating your mind, releasing fears and restrictions, and diving deeper into the connections and commitments in your life. There is a New Moon in fellow water sign Pisces before the month ends on February 20th, and you are feeling the excitement in your life as new doors open for you.
Leo
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is all about honoring the cycles of love and your life, Leo. You have been moving through some new personal changes recently that have made you look at love in a new light. You are moving toward greater connection and understanding in your relationships, and are feeling all the feels in February. With the Full Moon of the month happening in your sign on February 5th, you enter the month with a sense of confidence, closure, and trust.
The Sun is in your 7th house of love until February 18th, there is a lot to be grateful for this month. Relationships are filled with new growth and passion, and you are communicating from the heart. The New Moon on February 20th is occurring in an area of your life having to do with commitments, shared finances, sensuality, and transformation; and you are seeing the benefits and manifestations of your intentions both financially and emotionally right now.
Virgo
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is all about moving forward and switching things up, Virgo. You are getting things together, creating new experiences for yourself, and valuing your time and energy. There are positive reflections, communications, and creations happening for you this month and you are moving forward and the leader of your destiny. Know that you are divinely protected every step of the way.
With your ruling planet Mercury in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routine for most of the month, you are being the busy bee that you are and taking care of the added responsibilities on your plate this month. Don’t overstress, and take it day by day or thought by thought. Pisces Season begins on February 18th and the energy moves from the mind to the heart. You are moving through the end of the month with love on the brain and relationships moving through a new beginning.
Libra
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are paving a new path for yourself this month, Libra. February is a month of creating new opportunities for yourself instead of waiting for them. This is the month to put some plans into motion and to create the future you intend for yourself. There is a Full Moon on February 5th that is all about recognizing your hopes and dreams and the people that want to help you get there.
Your guidance for the month is to recognize your gifts, talents, and knowledge in life, Libra. Mercury, the planet of communication, moves into your 5th house of self-expression and romance on February 11th, and it’s all about expressing who you are and allowing love and support into your life. Something is enticing and hopeful about the path you are walking on this month, Libra.
Scorpio
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a month of endings, transformation, and personal growth, Scorpio. You are moving through some major closures in your life and seeing past intentions coming to fruition right now. This month is teaching you all about letting go, and about not forcing what is out of your control. February is a time of getting clearer on your truths and understandings and about unwavering self-love.
The New Moon on February 20th happening in fellow water sign Pisces is allowing you to begin anew with your creative projects and visions, and you are clearing from your life what doesn’t support your growth. The end of the month is a good time to set intentions for happiness, love, and self-confidence. February overall is all about valuing who you are and letting go of what takes you away from your center.
Sagittarius
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is all about working together with others and putting aside differences, Sagittarius. This month is highlighting where in your life you can experience a coming together, and what relationship dynamics need a change. The Full Moon in Leo on February 5th is happening in your 9th house of travel and adventure, and this is a good time to let go of mentally restricting thought patterns, reflect, and get away.
With Venus being in your 4th house of home and family for most of the month, February is also a good time to spruce up the home, nurture your inner world, and connect with family and loved ones. You are overall in the process of learning from the dualities in your life, releasing the challenges of the past, and owning your light in the process.
Capricorn
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleFebruary is a time of healing the inner child, connecting with what makes you happy, and not being afraid to communicate and open up emotionally, Capricorn. You are awakening to some new emotions and inspirations this month. The Sun is in your 2nd house for most of February and you are creating new plans for yourself and your finances, putting some goals into motion, and knocking off your to-do lists.
Moving further into February there is a New Moon in your 3rd house of communication where the Sun will also now be at that time, and you are experiencing communication breakthroughs. Divine insight and important messages are coming in, and the clarity you are finding now is easing up the pressure on your shoulders. This month is your time to be, love, and use your voice.
Aquarius
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSupport is coming in for you, Aquarius, and this is your time to shine! February is a time of divine intervention for you, and you are spending time in gratitude and appreciation for all that is. With the Sun in Aquarius for most of the month and Aquarius Season in full swing, gifts are coming into your life and they are coming through from your patience, determination, and attention to detail. You have been moving through a time of self-mastery and creating new beginnings for yourself.
Mercury moves into your sign from February 11th until March 2nd, and people want to hear what you have to say. You are being given a platform to express yourself, channel positive energy, and connect with like-minded individuals- use it wisely. Your unique self is worthy of a seat at the table, and you are pulling out the chair this month. There is magic flowing through your world in February, Aquarius.
Pisces
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour guidance for the month is to be flexible and allow love in Pisces. The changes you’ve been wanting to see in your life are coming about for you, but you may have to open your mind to some new possibilities of what that looks like. The past, present, and future are all coming together as one and creating a new path for yourself this month. Walk through new doors opening with grace.
Pisces Season officially begins on February 18th, and the spotlight is on you right now. This is your time to free yourself from self-imposed restrictions and live confidently in your truths. You have been moving mountains in your life and deserve to enjoy more of your successes and freedom. There is a New Moon in Pisces on February 20th, and this is the time to set intentions for your emotional well-being, self-love, and personal progress in life.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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And that is why I decided to put emphasis on the word “late” for today’s topic. Because if you and someone break up and they approach you, well after the fact, with an “I’m sorry,” if you struggle with whether or not to accept it due to the timing of it all, you should definitely ponder that a bit.
And as you’re doing so, it might help to read a bit deeper into what an apology should look and live like, even from an ex, regardless of when it shows up.
Your “late.” Or his right on time.
Three Things That a True Apology Consists Of
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that when you work as a therapist/counselor/coach, a lot of people never really see you as human — and this can include your close relationships. What I mean by that is, it’s almost like they expect you to be free on-call therapy to the point where they “forget” to actually check on you sometimes.
Such is the case with one of my longest-running friendships. Even during the weeks between losing my mother and losing $4K (SMDH), she would just keep calling me to vent about her marriage. I finally got so fed up that I brought it to her attention that for the past couple of years, that is exactly what our friendship has been like: her venting, me listening without her being very invested in my life at all. In response, she texted me an apology — and boy, was it beautiful.
I’m not going to share the details of what she said; however, I am going to tell you three things that it consisted of because it’s what I believe ALL APOLOGIES should entail.
1. She took full ownership for what she believed that she did. I framed this point in this way because, something that everyone needs to forever keep in mind is the fact that two people start and, to a large extent, end relationships — and what I mean by that is, it’s never like one person was perfect and the other was the villain. That said, though, when someone is making an apology to another individual, they are going to own their part and articulate what that part is. It’s not gonna be a simple “My bad.”
It’s going to be “I am really sorry that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me” or “I apologize for taking you for granted” — something that sounds like they get the “offense” that transpired. By doing this, they recognize their missteps — and that is what puts people on the road to not repeating them.
2. She did not deflect or gaslight me. You know what one of the worst apologies are: It’s when someone says they are sorry and then follows it up with, “But you do it too” or “If you hadn’t done ‘A’, I wouldn’t have done ‘B.'” Justifying your actions is a surefire way to make someone believe that you don’t really think that you did something wrong (or that bad) in the first place. And really, how can they trust you (again) if that is how you feel? Oh, and don’t get me on gaslighting.
Ugh, ain’t nothing like someone claiming that they want to set things right with you, only to act like they don’t really get where you are coming from with the issues y’all were having in the first place. A good gaslight line in an apology: “If that is what you think happened, I apologize.” Yeah, you can keep that, jack. Never accept this kind of apology — because it isn’t one.
3. She addressed why she needed to make the apology in the first place. Wanna know one of the main reasons why I don’t trust people who don’t believe in having regrets (check out “Why Regret Might Not Always Be A Bad Thing”)? Did you know that apology means “a written or spoken expression of one's regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another.” How, as a human, do you think that you are out here not making any mistakes or poor decisions that you sometimes need to APOLOGIZE for? That is just…insane.
And one of the reasons why apologies are important is because if you feel bad about “failing” someone, it’s usually because you value them enough to want to keep them around. And yes, in my friend’s apology, she also explained why she didn’t want me to feel hurt in the way that she had hurt my feelings and what she would do to prevent that from happening in the first place.
So y’all, with all of this out of the way, before getting deeper into this topic? If an ex is hitting you up to apologize to you for something, please make sure that he hits all three marks of a true apology.
Now let’s keep going.
A Genuine Apology Should Also Include an Amends
GiphyA few years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Heads Up: It's NOT An Apology If An Amends Isn't Made.” You know how I mentioned a second ago that a solid apology has no gaslighting in it? Hmph. Ain’t it wild how someone can do something that hurts or harms you and yet, they want you to just “hurry up and get over it”? GASLIGHTING.
Someone in my family, after unpacking years of abuse that I experienced at their hand, they had the nerve to say, “I’m not going to keep apologizing to you for this.” Hmm…Okay. So, how about you let me give you a consistent three months’ worth of the years of mistreatment that I experienced from you and then flippantly throw an apology your way. Let’s see how you feel about it. How much you believe that I am being genuine and sincere.
Listen — and please hear me GOOD on this: when someone really gets the magnitude of the pain or discomfort and inconvenience that they caused, they aren’t going to be fine with just saying that they are sorry for it; they are going to ask you what they can do to set things right.
It’s actually a part of the reason why I named the four children who I aborted (check out “Why I Named The Children I Aborted”) because I do have some real remorse for those decisions. Each of their names have an intentional meaning and I strive to leave out their purpose, through those names, on a daily basis. It’s a small way of making amends.
You know, back when my first book came out, my first love reached out, via email, to send me an apology. The apology hit most of the points that I mentioned earlier. Looking back, there wasn’t an offer to make an amends, though, and trust me, there was A LOT to make up for.
At the end of the day, amends means “reparation or compensation for a loss, damage, or injury of any kind; recompense” and while none of us should use bitterness, resentment or emotional stagnation as the “bar” for which we should expect amends to be made, if you’re trying to figure out just how sincere an ex is with their apology, if they want to do something to make things better, that’s a good sign.
There is a caveat, though.
Discern the Motives. Always.
GiphyEarlier this summer, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “What's Your Motive For Sex? (It Reveals A Lot. Trust Me.)” Then, a few weeks ago, I wrote another article entitled, “As Cuffing Season Steadily Approaches, What The Heck Is 'Winter Coating'?” and boy, when I tell you that both of these complement this point really well? Goodness.
If you’ve never heard of the dating trend known as winter coating before, it’s basically when an ex creeps back up around cuffing season — and if you know what cuffing season is all about, you can absolutely connect the very probable motives behind those dots.
Now can there be exceptions? There are ALWAYS exceptions. Still, if you haven’t heard from your ex in years and here he comes a couple of weeks before Christmas, unless the two of you got together or broke up around the holidays, stay on potential “winter coating alert,” because it might not be about “building bridges” so much as getting into your bedroom.
That said, if it’s been a minute (six months or more) since you’ve heard from an ex and he suddenly reaches out to apologize, absolutely take out a moment to discern the motive — and shoot, feel fine with even asking what is causing him to make the move…now. If it’s in the spirit of the holidays and wanting to go into a new year with a clean slate, got it. If it’s because he’s been in therapy and realizes that he didn’t end certain things in his past very well, understood. If it’s because he didn’t like how the two of you broke up and he wants to try and make peace, that’s fair.
On the other hand, if you sense that he wants to rekindle something (check out “Nelly And Ashanti Are Giving It Another Shot? Here's What You Should Know About 'Ex Reconciliation'” and “I'm Thrilled That Ryan Destiny & Keith Powers Are Back Together. 5 Things Before Reuniting With Your Ex, Tho.” and “What Happens When 'The One Who Got Away'...Comes Back?”) — although that’s kind of another article for another time, do check that motive.
When someone apologizes, you should really be the only focus for them; not what they can get out of it on the back end. Listen, even if he hopes to get back with you (or back in bed with you), that shouldn’t be something that is discussed during the apology. If it is said or even implied, something about HIS MOTIVE is disingenuous. And if that is indeed the case, to a valid extent, so is he.
We All Should Give the Grace and Mercy That We Desire
GiphySooner than later, I’m going to write an article about forgiveness (beyond what I already have here). For now I’ll just say that if you are someone who thinks that other people don’t deserve forgiveness? That is either your pain or your ego talking and, either way, you can’t trust “their” judgment.
All of us mess up sometimes and if you are a karma (or you reap what you sow) believer, then you absolutely should want to extend others grace and mercy so that you can receive it in your own time of need (and you are absolutely delusional if you think a time won’t come, sooner than you probably think, that you will need it).
Besides, do you know all of the self-inflicted drama and trauma that comes from NOT forgiving others: higher blood pressure, insomnia, stress, anxiety, the higher risk of a heart attack, a weakened immunity, a greater risk for depression and anxiety — whatever he did, is it really worth all of this? Yeah, while a lot of people think that weaponizing forgiveness is empowering, really all it’s doing is putting themselves in harm’s way. Physically. Emotionally. SPIRITUALLY: “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6:14-15 — NKJV)
By the way, no one is saying that forgiving that man means that you have to allow him back into your life. After all, access is a privilege. Yet if he comes to you and acknowledges that he feels sorry for some things, for the sake of your own sanity, why not let him express it? Don’t wanna meet up or talk on the phone? Understood. Email and/or text are there for the taking. Don’t want to go back and forth? Who said that it needs to be a discussion or a debate?
All I know is, the more time you spend on this planet, the more you want to put out the energy that you want to come back. Forgiving others tends to make life easier. Not forgiving? Oh, the way that it boomerangs, sometimes in ways you never saw coming, chile. Dodge that kind of experience (and typically hard life lesson) if you can.
Yes, Better Late than Never
GiphyToo late to apologize. Yeah, I don’t really know if there is such a thing (because forgiving and reconciling are not one in the same and some of y’all will catch that later). I’ll wrap this up with a story to prove my point.
Once upon a time, I knew a woman who was in a serious relationship and yet, whenever her boyfriend would bring up the possibility of marriage, she would stall him out. When I finally asked her what her deal was, she explained that she still harbored so much pain from the man before him that she didn’t fully trust that he was the real deal. About five months later, here came her ex with a thorough explanation for why he made some of the decisions that he did while they were together. Now that she had the full story, she was able to heal. She got married to her boyfriend that following year.
You see where I am going with this? Although your ex’s apology might be “late” as far as y’all’s relationship timeline, the timing may be BRILLIANT when it comes to true when and why you actually need it. Yeah, a Scripture that I adore is “Timing is the Father’s business” (Acts 1:7 — Message) and sometimes those apologies, in the grand scheme of things, are more on time than you could ever imagine; they’re when God deems you need them not when you want to have them.
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It is Oprah Winfrey who once said, “True forgiveness is when you can say, "Thank you for that experience” and sis, if you remove the bitterness and anger and look deeper, there were valuable lessons, even in and from the most challenging relationships. And that is worth appreciating through forgiveness and, if need be, full and complete release.
Bottom line, should you accept an ex’s late apology? Absolutely.
What better way to illuminate your present on a whole ‘nother level.
Just as forgiveness always does.
TRUST ME.
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