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Exclusive: How Chlöe Leans On Her Faith In God To Trust The Process Of Her Career And Divine Timing
Chlöe is a star - and that’s the sentence. Denying her talent, effervescence, and effortless beauty would be a disservice to Black women, girls, and the entertainment industry at large, as we’ve all watched her blossom from the younger version of her Parkwood Entertainment mentor Beyoncé in The Fighting Temptations to gearing up for her first headlining tour.
As she continues to rise to the top and establish her brand in addition to being one-half of 5x Grammy-nominated duo Chloe x Halle with her sister and The Little Mermaid star Halle Bailey, Chlöe uses her platform to normalize conversations around body image, sexuality, self-esteem, and self-love while showing the world she can stand on her own. However, as with anything worth having, nothing comes easy, and Miss Bailey is no exception to the rule when it comes to her climb to the top of the entertainment industry tackling singing, songwriting, performing, producing, and now starring in two upcoming projects.
Ahead of the premiere of Peacock’s Praise This and Prime Video’s Swarm, in which Chlöe nabbed a starring role in both, xoNecole spoke with the “Surprise” singer about being rooted in her faith in God, how crying helps her creativity, and how God’s timing allowed her to land a role with Donald Glover.
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Chlöe Is Keeping It Together - At Least She’s Trying
In an effort to keep herself balanced and in tune with the highest version of herself, the “Have Mercy” singer retains a strong relationship with her faith. “Without God, I probably would've run amuck by now. It definitely helps my mental health, that's for sure,” she told xoNecole openly and honestly. “All of the days where I feel like I can't carry on, I just pray and it just helps me believe in something greater than myself because when you take yourself out of your own thoughts, and your own mind, and how people might see you, just kind of think about, How can I give back? How can I let people see my heart? and really start thinking about the deeper and greater message.”
Keeping her mental health in order is absolutely a priority for the “For The Night” singer, especially as she takes on difficult characters and challenging storylines such as Donald Glover and Janine Nabers’ forthcoming horror seriesSwarm. As the show surrounds topics of cult-like fandom behavior, suicidal ideations, anxiety, and depression, the Atlanta-bred singer noted that taking on the storyline wasn’t as difficult as she envisioned because of her empathy for her character Marissa.
"All of the days where I feel like I can't carry on, I just pray and it just helps me believe in something greater than myself."
“It wasn't difficult at all. It wasn't hard at all. I think it was almost healing in a way, for me to portray Marissa because a lot of Marissa [is] Chlöe, and what I love about her is she is the glue that keeps everyone together,” she added, as she noted her Swarm character as “positive” and “optimistic,” who plays the love interest of Snowfall’s Damson Idris.
Though the show is categorized as thriller-suspense-horror, Marissa serves as the light that balances out Dominique Fishback’s character Dre through their bond and love of music. “I read the first episode and I broke down crying. It's such a unique and artistic way to talk about mental health. I think in today's society, the only way people really pay attention is when there's shock value, but when you peel back the layers, it's a story about sisterhood and mental health and how they hold each other up. I saw so much of myself in Marissa's character, and I want to do it, just from the first episode, because I saw myself in her.”
On the flip side, Chlöe’s character Sam in Peacock’s original film Praise This, which is set for release on April 7, is on the rise to superstardom with the support of her cousin (played by Moxie actress Anjelika Washington) while balancing her love for music and her faith in God. Similar to Sam, the former grown-ish star notes that her faith and spirituality play a large part in her discernment as she navigates through the industry as a 25-year-old multi-hyphenated icon in the making.
It’s All In His Timing
“I feel like knowing that I can rely [on] and lay all my troubles on God, it helps take the stress and the pressure off of myself. I can only speak for myself personally, but I put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect and to make minimal mistakes, and things of that nature, but when I relinquish that control and give it up to a higher power, it makes me beat up on myself less, and it makes me trust God's timing,” Chlöe admitted to xoNecole.
The “Treat Me” singer also noted that she’s learned about the external workings of God’s timing, especially when she tries to piece things together and they do not work out the way that she may have intended. "A prime example of that is the album, In Pieces; it's coming out March 31st. I began the project three years ago, and I could not pick a more perfect timing,” she said reassuring herself aloud. “It's a week apart from Praise This, and a week and a half away from my first headlining tour, so it's something that I couldn't have put together myself, or even thought of, or dreamt of. Seeing how everything is falling into place and working out, that is truly God.”
"Seeing how everything is falling into place and working out, that is truly God."
In the same vein of divine timing, Chlöe noted how her latest role in Prime Video’s Swarm series as Marissa was the perfect example of manifesting and trusting in God. After receiving an email in her inbox about an untitled Donald Glover project, the singer instantly geeked out as she’s been a fan of the Atlanta star and his Childish Gambino musical alias for years prior to the offer.
“On all of my vision boards, he was on them, which is crazy. I just put that together as I'm saying it out loud. Wow, that's crazy,” she said while smiling as she noted the same instance for her co-star Dominique Fishback who plays Dre. “Dom told me the same thing when we were filming it. He was on her vision board for the year before that she got this role, so it's crazy. Everything's meant to be in its right timing.”
Let Go and Let God
Admitting to Chlöe that her response about divine intervention and God’s timing made me emotional, she encouraged me that our conversation between me, her, and Praise This director Tina Gordon was a safe space for tears to be shed. “I'm a crier. I be crying, I cry at least one times a day. One to 20 times a day,” she said, joking but serious. In fact, she shared that some of her most creative ideas stem from a good ole fashioned Mariah Carey “We Belong Together” shower cry.
“You feel like you're in the music video, and then you feel like you're just getting it all out. You can cry out. Also, that's the best place for ideas,” Chlöe shared. “The second place for me to get ideas is the bathroom. There'd be so many times I'm in the studio and I'm stuck, I'm like, Okay, I need to go pee, use the restroom, and next thing you know, I'm sitting there and the idea pops in my head. Now because of that, I always bring my phone with me so I can record it on my phone because that's where the ideas will come.”
Gordon chimed in, “They say the reason for that is [the] shower is a sensory deprivation because you're not taking in so much. It's like the quiet idea again, you're in an encapsulated area. The water has a lot to do with it too, so you're able to listen more without distraction.” Chlöe and I both nodded in agreement that the small factoid made a large amount of sense.
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If You All Would Turn Your Pages To…
In times of doubt, fear, or insecurity, Chlöe is no stranger to leaning on the man upstairs, but there are certain quotes and bible verses that she turns to for reassurance. While the quote, “to whom much is given, much is expected” lives rent-free in her head as a motto by which she frequently lives by, the “Do It” singer’s favorite Bible verses are in fact, Isaiah 54:17 - “No weapon formed against me shall prosper” - and Philippians 4:13 - “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
“When I feel like the world and life kind of takes me down and tears me down, that's what I tell myself. God gave me this [gift]. God put this message in my heart and this purpose in my soul. It's up to me to pay it forward and give it back, and hopefully heal through the music, and let God's light shine through me,” Chlöe shared. “Every time I go on stage, what I say in my prayer, I'm like, God, please let people see your light shining through me. It just allows me to just release, and have fun, and let Him do the work.”
Gordon noted that Isaiah 54:17 is featured in the Peacock original film, which co-stars Quavo, Loren Lott, and Mack Wilds, because it serves as a “quick confidence boost” for her in dark times. “Whether I come out with what I envisioned or didn't, I can say that and go into the room,” she said. “By testing my own faith and knowing that there are things that I can actually relinquish control over, things that I can't control anyway, and I can watch God move in my life on my behalf.”
Chlöe stars in Praise This, which premieres on Peacock on April 7. Swarm premieres on March 7 on Prime Video.
Featured image by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
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This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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