Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?
Yeah buddy. I'm a Gemini. My brother's a Gemini. One of my closest friends is a Gemini. My two goddaughters? Yep, you guessed it—they too are Geminis. This means that all of our parents decided to get it on sometime between the months of September and October. So, you know what that means? Some serious baby-making action was going on in the fall. Not only that, but other than June, guess when the most popular months for weddings are? September and October (apparently this year, October 12 is the most popular day). Then of course, colder weather brings along with it cuffing season (scouting begins in August, drafting is in September, tryouts is in October, pre-season is November and the actual season is December through March).
So personally, before I even did all of the research that I'm about to share with you, I didn't need to be convinced that the most sex tends to happen sometime between September 23 and March 19. But when I did some digging into the science behind some of these facts, let's just say that if you want to take your own sex life to the next level, right about now (until spring, chile) would be the time to do it—and do it well (did you catch that LL Cool J reference? I bet you did!).
1. Autumn Means It’s Time to “Fall Back”
I'm actually the kind of girl who enjoys the dark and the cold. Still, I'm not really sure why we still need daylight savings time (you know, when our clocks go back an hour). Whatever the reason, it actually works in your favor when it comes to your sex life, because science says that fall is the best time to have sex. It's in part, due to all of the cold, darkness, wind and rain that makes you want to stay indoors. Although that kind of weather can trigger feelings of melancholy and even seasonal depression, it also makes us want to get close and cuddle more than any other time of the year.
2. There’s More Rain. And Rain Makes Us Hornier.
"Making Love in the Rain" (by Herb Alpert featuring Janet Jackson and Lisa Keith) is a throwback jam that you might want to pull back out right about now. The reason why is because it's right on-par with what I'm about to say. There's typically a lot of rain in the fall and, I find it interesting that Trojan's Degrees of Pleasure study says, that the most comfortable temperature to have sex is between 68-69 degrees. Why did that intrigue me? It's because that's the same temp that a lot of energy-savers recommend for night sleeping (if you want to sleep comfortably and keep your energy bill down at the same time).
Something else that the study revealed is 80 percent say that there is nothing better than sex on a rainy day (I concur); four out of 10 Americans are totally down for going outside when it's pouring down. #nice
3. Testosterone Levels Rise
Ah, so this must be the reason why my birthday is in June. Both men and women have testosterone in their system. It's a hormone that serves several purposes; one of them is directly connected to our sex drives. Well, according to one study, testosterone peaks right around the end of fall and the beginning of winter. The more of it that's flowing through your system, the more sex that you want to have.
4. Men Find You More Attractive
Grandma used to tell us that we should leave something to the imagination. She apparently was onto something because some research that was conducted in Poland revealed that men tend to find our bodies more attractive during the fall and winter seasons. The main reason why is, since we're layered in our sweaters 'n stuff, it piques their curiosity about what we've got going on underneath. So, if it seems like more men are staring at you in the mall or there's an increase of DMs sliding in your socials during the colder seasons, this may be why.
5. It’s Easier to Get Pregnant
If you want to have a summer baby, now would be the time to get to working on that little miracle project. The reason why is sperm counts are actually at their lowest from August-October due to men's bodies recovering from all of the summer heat that they had to endure. But as the weather cools down, their swimmers are back in full effect again; higher than ever, actually. So yep, when it comes to conceiving, starting around Halloween is definitely a good idea.
6. Pumpkins Are in Season
Pumpkins are harvested in September and October. Good thing too because, aside from the fact that it's a fruit that is high in Vitamin A, rich in antioxidants and contains compounds that are really good for your skin, men love the smell of it. No joke.
If you combine some pumpkin essential oil with lavender essential oil and place it on some of your erogenous zones, the combination has the ability to increase the blood flow to your man's penis by as much as 40 freakin' percent!
You can purchase some potent-yet-affordable pumpkin essential oil here. (You're welcome.)
7. You Want to Stay in and Watch Rom-Coms More Often
I'm not a big Christmas girl myself, but I do think the Hallmark films that run incessantly during the early winter season are super cute. If you're someone who likes them too, you can probably get your man to join in during the fall and winter more than any other time.
One reason is because research reveals that many of us will forego something that we really want to do outside of the home, simply because of how cold we perceive it to be during the winter (even if it's not). And since we tend to produce more serotonin when it's darker (and colder), guys usually want to curl up and cuddle more; they are usually more sentimental too. As a bonus, since some studies claim that rom-coms can increase our levels of self-improvement, if your man typically can't be moved to watch one, maybe that can be your selling point.
8. Your Immune System Tends to Strengthen
There are so many benefits to having sex. It reduces stress. It burns calories. It keeps your heart healthy. It relieves pain. It makes you more flexible. It lowers your blood pressure. It strengthens your pelvic floor. If the sex is fellatio, you can click here to see some other advantages that come with it. And, it has the ability to strengthen your immune system.
I think it's rather awesome that during the time of year when colds and flus are in abundance, participating in sex can help to keep them at bay. And since the more sex you have, the better your health will be, why not use the fall and wintertime to get—and keep—your body right?
9. Engagements Are in the Air. Holidays Too.
Surely it comes as no surprise that the most engagements happen between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day. You're around loved ones. Everyone's in a celebratory mood. It just feels right. But even if there's not an engagement in your near future, there's still a good chance that you'll have more sex during the holidays, simply because you'll probably take some time off of work. Less time at the office means more time that you can spend in the bedroom. Or wherever it is that you plan to, umm, do it.
10. You’re Twice as Likely to Get Some
OK, this was more of a clickbait point because there isn't actual data that says that just because it's cold outside, your chances for boo-tay will double. But what I did find to be interesting is more than twice as many condoms are sold the week before Christmas as opposed to the week after. Some experts say that makes rubbers the ultimate Christmas present to give and/or receive.
Hey, sometimes the good thing that comes in small packages isn't a diamond but a prophylactic. Just sayin'. So. pick some up on your way home and allow me the opportunity to welcome you to fall, winter and all of the wall-climbing goodness it can bring!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm
Blended Orgasms Need To Be The Next To-Do On Your Sexual Hit List
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next October (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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There Are Actually Scientific Reasons Why So Many Of Us Adore The Fall Season
Chile, maybe I’m just biased, but when I read earlier this year that the majority of Americans prefer the fall season over any other one, all I thought was, “Duh.” There really is no telling just how many articles I’ve written for this platform alone that have mentioned how fond I am of autumn and especially the month of October. I like the temperatures (well, I mean, global warming excluded). I like the scenery. I dig the outfits. I like pulling out my blankets and sipping on warm cider — hell, when it comes to fall, I adore pretty much everything about it.
Know what’s wild, though? There are actually some science-based reasons why so many of us are such big fans of that time of the year — one that is steadily approaching. So, if you’ve been trying to talk yourself out of getting a new neutral-colored comforter for your bed or you’re wondering if you’ve already gone too far with the pumpkins that you’ve got on your porch — my answer would be that you haven’t done enough to officially ring fall in! I’m not the only one who thinks that, either. Quite a bit of research thoroughly agrees.
It Takes Us Back to Our Childhoods
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It’s very common for fall to create feelings of nostalgia.For instance, even though it’s the season that technically doesn’t happen until the third week of September, many of us associate it with the first day of school, high school games, new television schedule line-ups (gee, remember that?), some of our favorite foods and drinks (like ginger snaps and hot cocoa), corn mazes, carving pumpkins, going trick-or-treating, attending fall festivals and so much other stuff that made autumn such a special time while growing up. Yeah, I bet if you thought back to what fall was like back when you were a kid right now, at least a couple of memories would immediately bring a smile to your face. (See…I told you.)
The Aesthetic Is Cozy and Comforting
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Scented candles. Roaring fireplaces. Fresh chrysanthemums. Foliage art. Metallic branches in vases. Neutral throw rugs. Carved pumpkins. Warm hues. Big throw pills. Cable-knit blankets. All of these are things that say “fall is here” in the most cozy and comforting ways. I mean, can you think of another time of year that beckons you to stay indoors more than fall does? Yeah, me neither.
It Boosts Your Self-Image
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Listen, if there’s one thing that I’m gonna do during the fall and winter seasons, it’s layer my outfits. That’s actually one of the reasons why I like fall so much — it’s because the fashion and style takes tend to be super on-point. And yes, based on what I’ve read, that’s another reason why a lot of people like the fall so much…since layering is about adding additional articles of clothing on, you don’t have to worry (as much) about the condition that your body is in like you do in the summertime. And when your body image is elevated, so is your confidence overall.
The Landscape Calms Us Down
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You might’ve already been aware of the fact that when you spend time in nature, it can help to de-stress you. Well, were you also aware of the fact that the beautiful colors of fall foliage can keep you calm as well? If you know anything about color psychology, this makes a lot of sense, considering a lot of leaves are shades of red (love), orange (happiness), and yellow (hope). So, if you’ve had a really stressful day at work, take the long way home to check out some fall trees or even rake up a pile and jump into them like when you were a kid. It could end up giving you the feeling of much-needed relief that you’ve been looking for.
It Creates a “Temporal Landmark”
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If you’ve never heard of a temporal landmark before, the long short of it is it’s moments in time that stand out to you to the point that it creates the perceptions that you currently have, plus it influences how you use your time in real-time. Since the holiday season kicks off during the fall season, activities like football games and homecomings mean a lot to people, and for some of us, the fall season marks the beginning of a new year (Rosh Hashanah), that’s another thing that makes autumn such a wonderful time of the year — we enjoy the way that we spend that season…a lot.
It’s an Unexpected Motivator
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On the heels of what I just said, whether you observe Rosh Hashanah or the winding down of the year is simply when you choose to pause and reflect in preparation for the calendar new year that is to come, some people really like the fall season because it motivates them to set new plans and goals. In fact, when you get a chance, check out “Why Fall Is The Perfect Time To Prep For The New Year.”
Using the next couple of months to ease into the new year makes a helluva lot more sense than jotting something down on New Year’s Eve real quick and then pressuring yourself to follow through for the first month of January.
It Means More Time with Family and Friends
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There’s probably no other time in the year when you are able to spend so much quality time with your loved ones than during the fall season, especially if they live out of town. I mean, just Thanksgiving alone proves that. Plus, winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21, which means that if you take time off leading into Christmas to visit family as well — that’s two times in less than a month that you’ve been able to get in some family and friends bonding time. If you love being around your family, fall always gives you time with them to look forward to.
It Means More Fall-Themed Sex
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When you get a chance, check out “Here's How To Have Some Really Great Fall-Themed Sex.” A part of the reason why I wrote it is because, did you know that late fall/early winter are the best times of the year to get some nookie? If you don’t believe me, also read “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?”
Between it being darker for a longer period of time, science saying that rainy weather actually makes us hornier, and pumpkins being an aphrodisiac (among other things) — if fall wasn’t your favorite time of year before you read this, maybe it will convince you to change your mind. Enjoy your fall season, everybody! Oh, and read up on what the combination of pumpkin and lavender scents can do for your boudoir experience. Thank me later. #wink
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