Yeah buddy. I'm a Gemini. My brother's a Gemini. One of my closest friends is a Gemini. My two goddaughters? Yep, you guessed it—they too are Geminis. This means that all of our parents decided to get it on sometime between the months of September and October. So, you know what that means? Some serious baby-making action was going on in the fall. Not only that, but other than June, guess when the most popular months for weddings are? September and October (apparently this year, October 12 is the most popular day). Then of course, colder weather brings along with it cuffing season (scouting begins in August, drafting is in September, tryouts is in October, pre-season is November and the actual season is December through March).
So personally, before I even did all of the research that I'm about to share with you, I didn't need to be convinced that the most sex tends to happen sometime between September 23 and March 19. But when I did some digging into the science behind some of these facts, let's just say that if you want to take your own sex life to the next level, right about now (until spring, chile) would be the time to do it—and do it well (did you catch that LL Cool J reference? I bet you did!).
1. Autumn Means It’s Time to “Fall Back”
I'm actually the kind of girl who enjoys the dark and the cold. Still, I'm not really sure why we still need daylight savings time (you know, when our clocks go back an hour). Whatever the reason, it actually works in your favor when it comes to your sex life, because science says that fall is the best time to have sex. It's in part, due to all of the cold, darkness, wind and rain that makes you want to stay indoors. Although that kind of weather can trigger feelings of melancholy and even seasonal depression, it also makes us want to get close and cuddle more than any other time of the year.
2. There’s More Rain. And Rain Makes Us Hornier.
"Making Love in the Rain" (by Herb Alpert featuring Janet Jackson and Lisa Keith) is a throwback jam that you might want to pull back out right about now. The reason why is because it's right on-par with what I'm about to say. There's typically a lot of rain in the fall and, I find it interesting that Trojan's Degrees of Pleasure study says, that the most comfortable temperature to have sex is between 68-69 degrees. Why did that intrigue me? It's because that's the same temp that a lot of energy-savers recommend for night sleeping (if you want to sleep comfortably and keep your energy bill down at the same time).
Something else that the study revealed is 80 percent say that there is nothing better than sex on a rainy day (I concur); four out of 10 Americans are totally down for going outside when it's pouring down. #nice
3. Testosterone Levels Rise
Ah, so this must be the reason why my birthday is in June. Both men and women have testosterone in their system. It's a hormone that serves several purposes; one of them is directly connected to our sex drives. Well, according to one study, testosterone peaks right around the end of fall and the beginning of winter. The more of it that's flowing through your system, the more sex that you want to have.
4. Men Find You More Attractive
Grandma used to tell us that we should leave something to the imagination. She apparently was onto something because some research that was conducted in Poland revealed that men tend to find our bodies more attractive during the fall and winter seasons. The main reason why is, since we're layered in our sweaters 'n stuff, it piques their curiosity about what we've got going on underneath. So, if it seems like more men are staring at you in the mall or there's an increase of DMs sliding in your socials during the colder seasons, this may be why.
5. It’s Easier to Get Pregnant
If you want to have a summer baby, now would be the time to get to working on that little miracle project. The reason why is sperm counts are actually at their lowest from August-October due to men's bodies recovering from all of the summer heat that they had to endure. But as the weather cools down, their swimmers are back in full effect again; higher than ever, actually. So yep, when it comes to conceiving, starting around Halloween is definitely a good idea.
6. Pumpkins Are in Season
Pumpkins are harvested in September and October. Good thing too because, aside from the fact that it's a fruit that is high in Vitamin A, rich in antioxidants and contains compounds that are really good for your skin, men love the smell of it. No joke.
If you combine some pumpkin essential oil with lavender essential oil and place it on some of your erogenous zones, the combination has the ability to increase the blood flow to your man's penis by as much as 40 freakin' percent!
You can purchase some potent-yet-affordable pumpkin essential oil here. (You're welcome.)
7. You Want to Stay in and Watch Rom-Coms More Often
I'm not a big Christmas girl myself, but I do think the Hallmark films that run incessantly during the early winter season are super cute. If you're someone who likes them too, you can probably get your man to join in during the fall and winter more than any other time.
One reason is because research reveals that many of us will forego something that we really want to do outside of the home, simply because of how cold we perceive it to be during the winter (even if it's not). And since we tend to produce more serotonin when it's darker (and colder), guys usually want to curl up and cuddle more; they are usually more sentimental too. As a bonus, since some studies claim that rom-coms can increase our levels of self-improvement, if your man typically can't be moved to watch one, maybe that can be your selling point.
8. Your Immune System Tends to Strengthen
There are so many benefits to having sex. It reduces stress. It burns calories. It keeps your heart healthy. It relieves pain. It makes you more flexible. It lowers your blood pressure. It strengthens your pelvic floor. If the sex is fellatio, you can click here to see some other advantages that come with it. And, it has the ability to strengthen your immune system.
I think it's rather awesome that during the time of year when colds and flus are in abundance, participating in sex can help to keep them at bay. And since the more sex you have, the better your health will be, why not use the fall and wintertime to get—and keep—your body right?
9. Engagements Are in the Air. Holidays Too.
Surely it comes as no surprise that the most engagements happen between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day. You're around loved ones. Everyone's in a celebratory mood. It just feels right. But even if there's not an engagement in your near future, there's still a good chance that you'll have more sex during the holidays, simply because you'll probably take some time off of work. Less time at the office means more time that you can spend in the bedroom. Or wherever it is that you plan to, umm, do it.
10. You’re Twice as Likely to Get Some
OK, this was more of a clickbait point because there isn't actual data that says that just because it's cold outside, your chances for boo-tay will double. But what I did find to be interesting is more than twice as many condoms are sold the week before Christmas as opposed to the week after. Some experts say that makes rubbers the ultimate Christmas present to give and/or receive.
Hey, sometimes the good thing that comes in small packages isn't a diamond but a prophylactic. Just sayin'. So. pick some up on your way home and allow me the opportunity to welcome you to fall, winter and all of the wall-climbing goodness it can bring!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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After being a regular contributor for about four years and being (eh hem) MIA in 2022, Shellie is back penning for the platform (did you miss her? LOL).
In some ways, nothing has changed and in others, everything has. For now, she'll just say that she's working on the 20th anniversary edition of her first book, she's in school to take life coaching to another level and she's putting together a platform that supports and encourages Black men because she loves them from head to toe.
Other than that, she still works with couples, she's still a doula, she's still not on social media and her email contact (email@example.com) still hasn't changed (neither has her request to contact her ONLY for personal reasons; pitch to the platform if you have story ideas).
Life is a funny thing but if you stay calm, moments can come full circle and this is one of them. No doubt about it.
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The Holistic Remedies This Yoni Specialist Uses To Heal Her Womb & Level Up Her Vulva Care
It’s time we have a talk with our yoni.
Before we ever knew she had a name, our yoni has been a beloved companion. She ushered us into womanhood with our menstrual cycle and nudges us in the right direction through the voice of our intuition. Through her, all life flows, and with that kind of power, doesn’t she deserves a lot more love, care, and protection?
“Everything comes [from the] womb,” says Dorisa King, Minister of Holistic Feminine Healthcare and Pennsylvania’s first Certified Yoni Steam Practitioner. “Our deepest fears, desires, and goals — that woman's intuition that we feel is really our womb talking to us. The womb is the brain of the woman's body.”
Dorisa’s calling came to her in a dream on her 30th birthday in 2018. While she had never heard of Yoni steaming before, the vision set her on the path to seek further education about the practice and inspired her to rewrite the womb history in her family. “I've always been into herbs and eating clean, so the fact that a lot of women in my family had hysterectomies and suffered from fibroids — and with me having painful periods — I wanted to reverse the curse on the womb history in my family.”
Part 5| Yoni Specialist, Dorisa King is back with some more natural birth control tips! In this clip, Dorisa talks about a natural herb you can use as birth control. If you’re tired of using hormonal contraceptives push that + for more tips! #naturalbirthcontrol #contraception #tiktokhealthtips #viral #blackseedoil #birthcontroloptions
After a clip of Dorisa sharing a list of natural birth control options went viral, many women in the comments were left amazed (and even skeptical) of the discovery. From black seed oil to tangerine juice, these alternatives to hormonal birth control have left many of us wondering: why didn’t anyone tell us about these before? But according to Dorisa, it’s an insight that our ancestors have made available to us all along.
“I like to take things back to our roots and ancestors. We've only been in this country for about 400 years, but these plants and herbs have been here forever,” she tells xoNecole. “We weren't able to practice these things then, but if you claim to be a child of God, you should take God's medicine.”
The connection we have with our womb is sacred. And with natural methods to enhance our feminine care and secure our reproductive health, we can ensure that the care of our vagina remains where it should be: in a woman’s hands.
Dorisa tells us all about how natural birth controls work, how to up our Yoni care routine, and why a natural approach to birth control is worth trying.
xoNecole: You’re a big advocate of good Yoni care — could you share what a proper Yoni care routine entails?
Dorisa King: I want to talk about vulva care, and that's: washing, toning, exfoliating, and moisturizing your vulva daily.
It's really important to wash your vulva with a safe plant-based wash. We use our hands only because rags carry bacteria, and the detergent that we use can be harsh. A rag is too harsh of a material to use on this soft sensitive skin, so I always recommend using your hands to clean your vulva, the clitoris, the small lips, and the big lips.
If you're getting waxes, I really recommend toning with a nice plant-based toner or rose water and exfoliate the skin to keep it clean from dead skin cells. Lastly, apply a good moisturizer like flaxseed oil or coconut oil.
xoN: How can Yoni steams help to the regulation of our flow and/or relieve menstrual discomfort?
DK: Everything that we eat must go through our womb before it exits the body. The way yoni steaming works is by cleaning out the womb space and the vaginal canal. The steam goes through the canal and kind of whispers around the reproductive organs to pull out anything that's unwanted — a lot of stagnant energy [from] a spiritual perspective. Anything backed up in there is just going to expel. I like to think of it as when we have a congested nose, we steam our face, and the snot comes out. Well, it's the same thing when we steam our yoni.
xoN: Let’s talk about natural birth control. What are some natural birth control methods that women can use to prevent pregnancy, and how do they work?
DK: They work by getting into the bloodstream. Everything's all about the blood, especially when it comes to women. There are four different birth controls I’m going to share, and they all can be used at the same time and work effectively together.
- Black seed oil: Black seed oil should be taken in the a.m. and the p.m. around the same time, daily. Black seed oil is great for keeping the immune system boosted and rid of excessive mucus in the body.
- Organic coconut oil, organic: Unrefined coconut oil is actually a spermicide. It can be used as a lubricant on the penis and all over the yoni. Every time before sex, you want to apply this because the properties in coconut oil and antifungal and antimicrobial, keeping infections at bay.
- Vitamin C: Vitamin C keeps your immune boosted, and it should be used after sex or before sex. We want to keep these herbs and minerals inside the body so the blood knows how to recognize [them] and then let [them] do [their] job. You can use vitamin C like in capsule form like Emergen-C, or you can use other liquids like tangerine and grapefruit juice.
- Neem oil: This kills sperm in 30 seconds, tops. Now, the smell is very offensive, but it works, and it has been used for hundreds of years. A way to use neem oil is after penetrative sex, you'll pour the neem oil inside an applicator, insert it up to your cervix, and abstain from sex for 24 hours to allow the herb to do its job.
xoN: How long after sex should someone wait to utilize these natural contraceptives?
DK: I would do it immediately, but I want to treat this just like you would with Plan B — that 24-72 hours after sex.
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