
Creative Entrepreneur Ri Turner On How Intentional Self-Care Leveled Up Her Life & Her Healing

Creative entrepreneur Ri Turner knew exactly what she was doing when she named her wellness brand "for the healthy hoes." The initiative has spawned merch, a community, and a podcast that is all about healing through the safe space of community. In a world where the wellness space can seem sometimes Lilly white and accessed by few due to differences in race, privilege, status, and money, "for the healthy hoes." speaks to the everyday human and makes the journey to healing accessible to all.
At 31, the Arkansas-based creator is all about health being wealth, but also about not needing money or a certain status to be well in life. For Ri, it's wellness, but keep it casual, and that is something we can get behind.
The seed of her online presence was planted in her college days, where Ri says she first fell in love with the process of video content creation. "As I continued to grow and evolve, there was a pivot in my content," she tells xoNecole. "This ultimately led me to creating a podcast where I share pieces of my journey and just have everyday conversations that I would otherwise be having with my partner or myself. What I do for a living isn't a surprise or shock to me at all. I've always known since I was super young that I would somehow connect with the world on a larger scale and build community. I am beyond grateful."
Ri Turner
Courtesy of Ri Turner
As a creative, podcaster, and wife, Ri's online presence is centered around the pillars of consciousness, health, and wellness. If she isn't sharing her perspectives through relatable chats on her "for the healthy hoes." podcast, she is sharing snippets of her life through reset vlogs on her YouTube channel and day-in-my-life videos where her peace radiates through the screen. Ri admits that self-care transformed her life, and it is a message that she shares through the content she produces. Through the gems she has collected in her healing journey, she hopes to connect and help with the healing of others.
In this installment of xoNecole's Finding Balance, we chat with the wife and podcaster about how she spends her mornings, navigating uncertainty, and cooking as the ultimate form of self-care.
Q: How has practicing self-care helped you become a better person?
A: Practicing self-care has completely transformed my life. Simple things like eating well, daily movement, and meditation has helped me get through so many obstacles and challenges. These practices completely changed my perspective on how to approach life. Instead of suppressing my feelings and running away from myself, I now feel everything and embrace all of me with open arms. This has truly allowed me to begin to be the best version of myself.
Q: What is the best advice you could give your younger self on how to navigate your 20s and 30s?
A: F*ck up. Learn from it. Grow from it. Don't force anything at all. Just flow. Embrace the change. It's all part of the plan. Everything is going to work out.
Q: At what point in your life did you understand the importance of pressing pause and finding balance in both your personal and professional life?
A: Breaks are so so so important. It took me a minute to realize it, probably only about a year or two ago in the midst of grind culture. Everything and everyone around us tells us to grind, work, be busy 100 percent of the time. But doing anything, even something you love ALL THE TIME and without breaks, can cause so much burnout.
It'll have you second-guessing if you really love this thing that you thought you loved so much. When in all actuality, all you needed was to press the pause button for a bit. I do not play about my breaks. When I come back from taking a pause, I'm so inspired, refreshed, and ready to work. And that's the point.
"When I come back from taking a pause, I'm so inspired, refreshed, and ready to work. And that's the point."
Q: What is a typical day in your life? If no day is quite the same, give me a rundown of a typical work week and what that might consist of.
A: No day is the same. But my work week typically looks like brainstorming and finding inspiration (this could be from my lived experiences or even Pinterest) as well as tons of recording content for my podcast and socials, editing, meetings, working on partnerships with brands, working on designs, or even shipping out orders. Some weeks my workload is heavier, and sometimes it is lighter. I appreciate both!
Q: What are your mornings like?
A: Mornings are my favorite part of the day. I wake up before anyone else in my home does. Before I do anything, I meditate for 5-10 minutes and express gratitude for what I do have and for what's already mine that I cannot see. Lately, I've been going on runs (such an amazing feeling). After my run, I make a smoothie, shower, and get ready for my work day.
Q: How do you wind down at night?
A: Believe it or not, cooking dinner is part of my wind-down routine. Cooking is so relaxing and can really be a meditative experience if you allow it to. After I eat dinner with my family, I do my skincare routine (which is like 2-3 steps) then I like to read and spend time with my family. This usually looks like us all being in the same room, engaging in casual conversation while still all doing our own thing.
Q: When you have a busy week, what’s the most hectic part of it? What techniques or tools do you have in place to maintain your sense of self amid chaos?
A: Although I do many things all on my own, like filming myself, editing, etc., none of it is actually challenging for the most part because I've been doing these things for so long. It becomes challenging when my workload increases, and it seems as if there isn't enough time in the day to complete my tasks. What has really helped me out with this a ton is planning. I have always loved planning and writing down my daily/weekly to-do lists. I would be lost without my planner.
Additionally, just taking one step at a time and tying not to think about everything that I have to do because when you think about every single task [at once], it can be super overwhelming. And I find that I actually get nothing done at all because I was trying to do everything. So definitely just focusing on one small thing at a time, and if I'm unable to work through my entire list today, that's okay. I can get to it tomorrow.
Q: Do you practice any types of self-care? What does that look like for you?
A: Self-care can be such a vague term, especially with the up-and-coming popularity of wellness. Although I love things like skincare, my favorite self-care practices are things like meditation, yoga, journaling, cooking myself a wholesome meal, drinking plenty of water, or even writing a love letter to myself.
Q: Oftentimes, when we hear talk about love languages, it is how we give love to others. What is your self-love language, and how do you give that to yourself?
A: I think my love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service. I've had to re-wire my brain because there used to be so much negative self-talk up top. I've made it a priority to speak really nice to myself and just be gentle with myself- which is ultimately words of affirmation. I also love to cook for myself. I believe that this is one of the highest forms of self-love. When you intentionally carve out the time to make sure that you are consuming nourishing meals, that's a form of love that can't be matched. These are two main ways I show self-love and show up for myself.
"When you intentionally carve out the time to make sure that you are consuming nourishing meals, that's a form of love that can't be matched."
Q: When you are going through a bout of uncertainty or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
A: I simply take a step back. This allows me to look at things from a different perspective and remember why I even started in the first place. Going back to my "why" has gotten me through so much uncertainty and helps me see the bigger picture.
Q: Lastly, how do you define "balance" in your life? What does that look like to you in an ideal world? What does that look like in reality?
A: Nothing in this world flows without balance. Balance is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as "an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady." I couldn't agree with this definition more. Not only in the physical sense but also in the literal sense. Without the necessary amount of balance, not much is stable. This is why when I'm overworked or inconsistent with my spiritual practice, my mental health begins to spiral.
Balance to me looks like taking care of your mind, body, and spirit first so that you can effortlessly show up in this world to positively impact those around you.
For more of Ri, follow her on Instagram @riturnerr and listen to new episodes of the "for the healthy hoes." podcast here.
Featured image courtesy of Ri Turner
On her debut album,CTRL,SZA crooned about her desire to be a “Normal Girl.” Now, nearly eight years since its release, her Not Beauty line represents her commitment to existing outside of traditional beauty norms.
The singer whose real name is Solána Imani Rowe first teased the idea of a lip gloss line during Super Bowl LIX in February, noting that the release would be happening “very shortly.” Not Beauty debuted simultaneously with the Grand National Tour, which she co-headlines with Kendrick Lamar, in Minneapolis on April 19.
Each Not Beauty pop-up would offer fans the opportunity to purchase the glosses, learn more about the brand, and have the opportunity to meet the superstar in the flesh regardless of their ticket status.
During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
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So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
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What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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It’s almost always “annoyingly fun” to have conversations with super churchy folks. Example? Recently, I had on an anklet that a particular woman took notice of. When she complimented it and asked what it was made of, I said, “Moonstone, which is one of my birthstones.” Oddly enough, she then turned up her nose and said that stones and crystals were tied to witchcraft, to which I casually replied, “Then I guess you hate Aaron’s breastplate, huh?” She paused and turned her nose up again — this time, though, because she just experienced a good old-fashioned “checkmate.”
This article is about crystals not Scripture, so when it comes to the latter, I’ll just briefly say that if you mosey on over to Exodus 28, you’ll see that a high priest breastplate is referenced; one that contains precious gems including topaz, sapphire, agate, onyx and jasper (and that’s just for starters!). Yeah, it really is important to not just throw judgments around like confetti — know of what you are actually speaking of first (because that’s what Matthew 7 is really all about).
I did think it was important to mention that for potential skeptics about why this article even exists. Because although there are Scriptural and evenscience-based individuals who roll their eyes at the power of what gemstones and crystals can (possibly) do, I’m pretty sure that some of you are not surprised that the holistic and Ayurveda worlds see it all very differently.In those realms, energy plays a big role in physical, emotional, and mental health, and crystals are believed to cultivate balance or intensify certain feelings or experiences through that said energy.
That said, when it comes to sex, specifically, there are certain stones (which are basically what crystals are;in fact, all gemstones are a type of crystal) that are believed to help make intimacy even more satisfying. If you’re curious about which ones are, I’ve got 10 for you below.
10 Crystals That May Enhance Your Intimate Life
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1. Garnet
Garnet is a rich shade of red that happens to be January’s gemstone. It’s considered to be one of the oldest gemstones around, one that Egyptians believed was a symbol of life and something that they oftentimes wore in their signet rings. As far as symbolism goes, garnet also represents love and vitality as well as energy, passion and even self-confidence — all of which are quite relevant when it comes to having an active and fulfilling sex life.
2. Amethyst
Queen Cleopatra and Leonardo da Vinci are just two powerful figures who were big fans of the purple gemstone amethyst. Interestingly enough, it is February’s birthstone — the month that Valentine’s Day falls under. Another interesting fact is many early Christians relied on this gem in order to increase their spirituality while many Greeks used to see it as a stone that provided protection. When it comes to intimacy, amethyst is also associated with love and devotion as well as feelings of calm and reduced anxiety — and since the less calm you feel, the easier it is to climax…well. #wink
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3. Orange Carnelian
Looking to experience more joy and happiness? Or maybe you want to strengthen your friendships. Or perhaps it’s time to increase your pleasure levels or to go into deeper levels of sensuality. For all of these things, orange carnelian is a top-tier pick. As I did a bit more research on this stone, it’s considered to be a royal one and something that can bring forth peace. One of my favorite things about orange carnelian is it comes in different hues of orange — the deeper the color, the more passion it exudes. Just an FYI.
4. Rose Quartz
If you want to take your romantic relationship to another level, rose quartz has a solid reputation for helping to make that happen for you. In fact, this pink crystal is oftentimes referred to as being the stone of unconditional love because it encourages the wearers of it to both give as well as put themselves in the position to receive love too. Since rose quartz is also tied to things like emotional healing, restored trust and harmony, if you’re looking to make a much deeper intimate connection with your partner, this just might be the stone for you.
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5. Rhodochrosite
Rhodochrosite is a red-rose colored stone that I personally hold dear. I say that because, as a survivor of sexual abuse, it is one that helps recovering individuals to work through sexual trauma (and trauma, in general). It is associated with love, compassion and strength as it helps you to process your emotions in a positive way, so that you are able to effectively release past pain and deal with any PTSD that you might have. You know, I know a wife who sexually struggled in her marriage for years because she had been sexually assaulted in college and never told her husband.
A stone of compassion is a precious one — including when it comes to dealing with sexual trauma and intimacy challenges and learning how to face them. Salute to this stone right here.
6. Citrine
Citrine is November’s birthstone and its rich yellow color explains why it represents things like abundance, prosperity, radiance and happiness. Aside from this, whether you’re seeking clarity, you’d like to be more creative or you’re interested in becoming more sensual, citrine encourages all of this. Sensuality is a dope word because it’s all about appealing to all five senses; especially during intimacy. To learn more about how to do that, check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever.”
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7. Red Jasper
While doing my own research on what red jasper represents, what I liked the most is it’s something that encourages emotional stability which is always a wonderful thing to have. Although it is a fiery red color, it also contains grounding properties and it symbolizes strength, courage and, another word that can always make sex more pleasurable: stamina. Since stamina is what helps both men and women to last longer during sex, anything that is a “stamina hack” earns an automatic mention when it comes to sex-themed content — including this.
8. Clear Quartz
A fun fact about quartz is it’s one of the most common minerals on this planet. When it comes to clear quartz, specifically, I like the way that it looks because it’s either a cloudy white or something that you can see straight through. As far as its symbolism is concerned, if you want to reduce physical discomfort, remove distractions and focus more on heightened levels of yourself, this crystal represents all of that. Clear quartz also encourages healing, spiritual growth and balance. To me, it seems like if you want to cultivate a spiritual or meditative (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”) experience with your partner, clear quartz is a stone to try.
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9. Shiva Lingam
I ain’t got no lies to tell you — when I first happened upon this particular stone, the first thing that came to my mind was an article that I penned for the site back in the day entitled, “Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage.” That’s because it explains what a lingam massage is and, as you can see, this crystal has that word all up in it. The history of lingam is a bit layered (you can read about it here); however, because it is considered by many to be a phallic symbol and that typically represents the penis — shiva lingam is a neutral-colored crystal that represents both sexuality as well as fertility. Shocking, right? #sarcasm
10. Pyrite
It doesn’t escape me that it’s kind of funny that I’m closing this out with a crystal that has the nickname “fool’s gold.” That’s due to its appearance. That said, it’s also a stone that has some interesting symbolism to it. Since it comes from a Greek word that means fire — of course, it’s a crystal of passion. Since it also taps into things like heightened energy, self-esteem, creativity, awakened senses and the removal of toxic thoughts — if any stone should be in your “let’s get it on” crystal collection, pyrite would be the one!
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Know what’s kinda wild? While I was on Etsy’s site looking for another moonstone, a sake popped up in my feed on what the merchant calls their “libido crystal set” — and six of the 10 stones that I’ve mentioned throughout this article are featured in the collection.
Yeah, I’ll take that as a confirmation that whether you purchase a piece of jewelry that has one (or more) of these stones or you buy a piece of crystal itself to place somewhere in your bedroom — just putting your own energy into wanting a better sex life is a powerful step in the right direction to achieving it.
And what science can’t refute is the benefits of positive thoughts and actions — crystals or not.
So, if precious stones are totally your thing — enjoy, sis. Enjoy!
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