In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, their life, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
Kamie Crawford is more than meets the eye.
Her first-ever wave came in the form of competing in the Miss Maryland Teen USA pageant. There, she represented the state of Maryland and ended up walking away from the night with a crown. Kamie also did so while making history as the first contestant from Maryland to ever win the competition. "I applied and the rest was history!" she exclaimed in a conversation with xoNecole. "Being Miss Teen USA was an awesome experience, but I got what I needed from it and moved forward with my life and career."
In addition to being a diverse shade and size in the fashion world as a model, Kamie has been broadening her reach and expanding her talents as an on-air host; a passion she's been nurturing into her purpose since her late teens. Most recently, she's gained credits with the E! Network and MTV's Catfish underneath her hosting belt, where her compassionate and "real recognize real" persona made her an instant fan-favorite among the lineup of guest hosts that have co-piloted Nev's show since long-time co-host's Max Joseph's departure.
Despite the yes's she's acquired along her journey, the pathway to being Kamie Crawford hasn't been one without uncertainty or doubts. "Before I made the transition, I had never felt more lost. I didn't know where my career was going, but I made the decision to put it all in God's hands and manifest TF out of everything. Once I did that, I got the email about Catfish. Sometimes you have to realize that there is already a divine purpose for your life – so while you're busy making plans, you have to know in your heart that the path has already been paved for you, you just have to follow it where it leads."
Since then, abundance has manifested by the droves and it all started with taking a leap of faith and transitioning to life in LA. Nowadays, Kamie is a master of her own destiny and is finding time to balance brand deals and TV segments with SoulCycle and Netflix and chill. Here's how.
What does the average day/week look like for you?
Every week is different, which keeps it exciting. I usually have one or two "admin days" out of the week to strictly just answer emails, send invoices for brand deals, work out contracts for upcoming projects, plan out potential TV segment ideas or jot down some goals. If I'm filming during the week (like I am right now), I have to block off days for travel/filming or time to coordinate looks for on-camera. I also have days set aside for taking meetings or running errands and because I'm a Scorpio, me-time is essential!
What are your mornings like? How do you wind down at night?
Mornings, I will admit, are not my strong suit. If I'm not filming early, I like to sleep as much as I can. I try to wake up around 9am and get my day started, walk my dog, get my Starbucks fix in. Sometimes, I work out, sometimes I don't. I'm working on making my mornings more productive! At night I love to catch up on Netflix or Ru Paul's Drag Race, hang out with my boyfriend and our dog. Maybe drink some wine – it all depends on the day!
What do you find to be the most hectic part of your week?
Mondays and Tuesdays are usually the craziest just because there are so many emails coming in, but if I'm filming – I'm usually busy from Thursday to Monday. This is why I keep a physical and digital planner!
Do you practice any types of self-care?
SoulCycle is my self-care. I also just started boxing which is awesome, but outside of fitness I love to just detach. If I'm feeling stressed, I'll take a few hours and just be with myself and my own thoughts. I don't answer anyone's emails or calls and I regroup.
"If I'm feeling stressed, I'll take a few hours and just be with myself and my own thoughts. I don't answer anyone's emails or calls and I regroup."
What are some rituals you swear by in the name of self-care?
A scalding hot shower, a glass of wine and some great Chinese food usually does the trick for me!
How do you find balance with:
Love/Marriage?
I feel really lucky because my boyfriend and I both work in the entertainment industry. He's more behind the scenes, but he's always traveling with clients and we're coincidentally in the same place at the same time. One time I had to travel to Phoenix, AZ to film while he was in the same city for a music festival! It's always been like that and it really helps. It's also just great being with someone who gets the industry and my frustrations overall – we're constantly planning together and running ideas by each other, but even we have to set aside time with no phones and just enjoy one another.
Friends?
My best friends and I talk every single day. Group chats are a lifesaver! We're always connected digitally, but seeing each other often is a struggle just because we live in different areas now. Whenever we're in the same town though, it's like we never left. Low-maintenance friendships are key for me. We have to be able to pick right back up where we left off, even if we haven't seen each other in a few months! They're super busy and successful too, so we're all on the same page.
Exercise/Health? Do you ever detox?
I have spurts of being really super active and then I won't work out for like a week. I want to be better at that but if I'm not as active, I'm usually doing a better job at watching what foods I'm indulging in. I've done cleanses before, but I'm not really a fan. I own my faults and just try to make them better, but I don't like to put too much pressure on myself in that arena.
"Low-maintenance friendships are key for me. We have to be able to pick right back up where we left off, even if we haven't seen each other in a few months!"
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
A good cry helps! I can be a perfectionist at times and a strong manifestor, so when things don't happen as soon as I'd like, or at all, I can feel down. I allow myself to feel crappy and then I move on. I don't believe in wallowing for too long because things can always be worse and I am very blessed. If it's something I can change, I fix it. If it's out of my hands, I give to God and go to sleep!
What does success mean to you?
Meeting my personal and professional goals. Having people by my side who support me and love me for who I am and just being a good human. All the money in the world can't replace kindness and genuine happiness.
Ultimately, how do you find balance?
Prayer and downtime. Clearing my brain completely and then starting fresh with new ideas and a new perspective.
For more of Kamie, follow her on Instagram.
'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Quinta Brunson Gets Real About Divorce, Boundaries & Becoming
Quinta Brunson is the woman who chooses herself, even when the world is watching. And in her June 30 cover story for Bustle, she gives us a rare glimpse into the soft, centered place she's navigating her life from now. From leading one of television's most beloved series in the last decade to quietly moving through life shifts, the creator of Abbott Elementary is walking through a personal evolution and doing so with intention, grace, and a firm grip on her boundaries.
Back in March, the 35-year-old filed for divorce from Kevin Jay Anik after nearly three years of marriage, citing "irreconcilable differences." The news hit the headlines of news outlets fast, but Quinta hadn't planned to announce their dissolution to the public so quickly.
Quinta Brunson On Divorce, Public Scrutiny & Sacred Boundaries
"I remember seeing people be like, ‘She announced her divorce,’" she told Bustle. “I didn’t announce anything. I think people have this idea that people in the public eye want the public to know their every move. None of us do. I promise you. No one wants [everyone] to know when you buy a house, when you move, when a major change happens in your personal life. It’s just that that’s public record information."
In regards to her private moves becoming tabloid fodder, Quinta continued, "I hated that. I hate all of it."
"I Am An Artist First": Quinta On Cutting Her Hair & Reclaiming Herself
Still, the diminutive phenom holds her crown high in the face of change and is returning to the essence of who she is, especially as an artist. "Cutting my hair reminded me that I am an artist first. I want to feel things. I want to make choices. I want to be a person, and not just stuck in having to be a certain way for business." It's giving sacred rebirth. It's giving self-liberation. It's especially giving main character energy.
And while the headlines keep spinning their narratives, the one that Quinta is focused on is her own. For her, slowing down and nourishing herself in ways that feed her is what matters. "It’s a transitional time. I think it’s true for me and my personal life, and it’s how I feel about myself, my career, and the world," Quinta shared with Bustle. “I feel very serious about focusing on watering my own gardens, taking care of myself and the people around me who I actually interact with day-to-day."
That includes indulging in simple rituals that ground her like "making myself a meal" which has become "really, really important to me."
That spirit of agency doesn't stop at the personal. In her professional world, as the creator, executive producer, and lead actress of the critically-acclaimed Abbott Elementary, Quinta understands the weight her choices carry, both on- and off-screen. She revealed to Bustle, "People used to tell me at the beginning of this that the No. 1 on the call sheet sets the tone, and the producer sets the tone — and I’m both of those roles."
She continued, "I understand now, after doing this for four years, how important it was that I set the tone that I did when we first started."
Quinta doesn't just lead, she understands the importance of curating the energy of any space she enters. Even amid a season of shifts and shedding, her power speaks loudly. Sometimes that power looks like quiet resistance. Sometimes that power is soft leadership.
And sometimes that power looks like cutting your hair and taking back your name in rooms that have forgotten you were an artist long before you were a brand.
Read Quinta's cover story on Bustle here to witness the fullness of Quinta's becoming.
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