'Dear Self' Letters: An Important Part Of My Self-Care Ritual

Why 'Dear Self' letters are an important aspect of self-care and how you can implement letters into your rituals.


Dear Alley,

Do. Not. Quit. On. Yourself.

It's been a whirlwind couple of months and there is much more to learn. Trust yourself to make the right choices and leave fear alone. If you fall, you fall. Just keep getting up. Also, please remember to take note of how much you've grown since March 11, 2016. In this new chapter, you are your own boss; take pride in that.

Keep slaying,

Alley 7.25.16

I write little love letters to myself.

I keep them tucked away in a journal as a reminder that even on those days where there seems to be a black tar cloud following me, I am still enough.

We set incredibly high standards for ourselves. Whether you are an entrepreneur, work a full-time job, are enrolled in school, or simply hustling, we often forget to pour what we put out into the world back into ourselves. We are far better at sending words of encouragement and love to besties but hardly look in the mirror, smile, and relish in our own dopeness.

Taking the time to say it aloud, dance it out, or write it down, that we are amazing without attaching a “but" is important. The world does enough in beating us down, being conscious in uplifting ourselves, without noting what we might think we are missing or lacking, is a simple and effective way to boost our own morale without seeking outside validation.

Setting aside time to do more than post a motivating quote on Instagram is vital to your mental and emotional health. Self-care can be many things:

An uninterrupted solo date to the nail salon,

A walk in the park,

Reading that book you haven't had time to get into.

Whatever your preference may be, try adding love letters to yourself to your self-care routine as well.

Sometimes reading through my previous letters to myself helps push me through a particularly tough day, because I know I've overcome much worst in the past. It's a form of instant self-gratification as I give myself the love and adoration that I give to others so freely throughout my day to day. Self-reflection takes on a new form as a place the pen to paper and make the language I speak to myself more real.

Here are four tips on how to set time aside to reflect and write love letters to yourself:

Dedicate a Monthly Morning

I have a reoccurring date in my calendar that is dedicated to my self-care. On the last Sunday of every month, I take time to intentionally focus on myself. I begin that morning with writing these reflective notes.

Be Direct With Yourself

Writing to yourself might sound silly at first but use this time to have an out-of-body experience and become your own personal cheerleader.

Note Every Obstacle AND Triumph

In being your own cheerleader, wave your pom-poms for every triumph you've accomplished despite the initial challenge or pain felt. This includes the promotion you asked for and/or the toxic relationship you removed out of your life. Reflect and rejoice.

Update Your Goals

These love letters are both reflective and an effective way of tracking your goal progress. Are you neglecting your goals? Have you taken a few steps backwards? Be honest and direct with yourself, write it down, and set actionable steps to achieve that next level you're working towards.

At first, writing letters to yourself feels very weird. You're essentially talking to yourself, but not in a “seek help type of way." These mini letters function as a time of self-reflection and goal setting. Keeping them dated and all together allows you to track how much you've grown and accomplished.

Have you ever taken a moment to write a “Dear Self" letter? How did it make you feel? Share with us below!

Featured image by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

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