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Everything We Learned From Ciara's 'Red Table Talk'
Finding your true love hits a lil' different when you love yourself, first. Once a woman is able to let go of her insecurities, uncover her true potential, and realize the badass that she was born to be, her qualifications in a partner will probably change too. The Me that I was five years ago may have been willing to tolerate jealousy, verbal abuse, disrespect, and infidelity; but the Me I am today sees things in a different light.
True wealth is being able to look in the mirror and love the person you are looking back at you; but the truth is, self-love ain't cheap.
Ciara learned this after a very public breakup with her ex-fiance, Future, that seemingly left her life in shambles. The Beauty Marks singer recently took a seat at the Red Table and got real about what it took to put the pieces back together and define what it means to be loved in a healthy way. Here's what we learned from the episode:
Being Loved By Her Dad Taught Ciara How She Should Be Loved
We love how we are loved, so it's important that our children see us cared for at the highest capacity. They say that a woman's first love is her daddy, and that relationship can play a huge role in what type of partner she seeks in the future. Ciara said that seeing her parents in a loving relationship molded her perception of what commitment should look like, but throughout her chaotic relationship with her former fiance, she grew to see a lot of inconsistencies. She explained:
"I grew up with my mom and my dad being together, the idea of it being mommy and daddy that made baby. And then all of a sudden you're living your life in front of the world, it's a whole other layer."
Ciara eventually decided that enough was enough when she realized that the love of her ex was nothing like what she had witnessed growing up:
"My dad's love is what saved me, because I was like my dad wouldn't do this to my mom."
The Day Ciara Decided To End Her Engagement To Future
Alexa, play "When A Woman's Fed Up", cause whew, chile. Ciara spoke a word right here. On the episode, Ciara also detailed the moment when she decided to ditch her engagement ring in Ibiza and reclaim her identity.
"I remember one time I was working on the elliptical machine and I was not sure about, do I stay, which direction do I go, what is the right thing to do and it's like, it's easy to do this, but is the easy thing the right thing?"
Ciara told the hosts that her biggest motivating factor for ending her relationship with Future at the time was the pair of big brown eyes looking up at her:
"Future was like my teddy bear, so I was like, we gonna go, we gonna do this thing together. His first trip was to Ibiza. I just was like, I'm going to commit. If I chose not to commit, I was going to fall apart. I'm really afraid of losing myself. I don't like crying all the time, I don't like being sad, so I'm like how do I get out of this?"
Ciara's Breakup With Future Almost Led To A Breakdown
Like any breakup, CiCi explained that her split from Future was a hard pill to swallow. Along with the fear of seeming like a failure in front of the world, Ciara was also weighed down by the sadness of becoming a single mother after growing up in a loving, two-parent household. Although it wasn't an ideal situation for the entertainer, she was forced to smile in public while she cried in private:
"I would have moments, I'd be in the shower, crying. I'd be crying because I am not in the happiest place and it hurts what I'm going through."
When it rains, it pours. And even if the sun doesn't shine quite when you want it to, know that a rainbow is on the way, sis. Without the pain of her tumultuous breakup, Ciara explained that she wouldn't know how to recognize true love when she saw it.
"If I wouldn't have gone through those things, I may not have appreciated the man I have in my life, I may not have appreciated when it is really going good and everything's falling in place. You need those roller coaster rides."
Ciara & Russell Chose To Be Friends, First.
Russell and Ciara are the rich auntie and uncle that we all aspire to be, but Ciara revealed that their romance all began with a friendship:
"When Russ came into our lives, Future was ten months old. It was different, I had never had that feeling in my life. It was calm. He's consistent. Whenever he would think of me, he would always think about my son and to love me is to love my son, we come together. It's dope, it's a different level of love."
Ciara shared that as well as being there for Baby Future's first steps, Russell also proved to be the support system she never knew she needed.
"When we talked we connected in every way, his conversation was different, the way he looked at life was different, the energy with my son just felt right, and the consistency. He was consistent. That consistency is so crucial. He was like open arms, I got you. Whenever he would think of me, he would always think about my son. To love me is to love my son. We come together. It's dope. It's a different level of love."
Ciara's Biggest Fear
While some of us fear snakes, spiders, and all things creepy and crawly, Ciara said that the boogeyman that keeps her up at night is much different. She told Jada, Adrienne, and Willow that her biggest fear is losing the one thing we can never get back: time.
"The one thing I fear in life is wasting my life, wasting my time. I really fear that because you realize that time does not stop and it will be the worst scenario to stay in a situation that's just not healthy, not going to get any better. I realized I have to start making different decisions, period. Knowing what you don't want is really important. It creates clarity."
Baby #3...Or Nah?
Russell Wilson participating in his daughter's ballet class is the best thing you've seen all day, and according to Ciara, we can look forward to more of these adorable antics in the future. She explained:
"If you ask Russell, we have five more kids to make. I do look forward to having another baby. I hope I can have at least two more. I love my family. I love my kids, I love being a mom. It's like my why in my life. I feel like I'm really doing something even more because of them. The music and stuff is amazing, but gosh, when I look at those babies I say thank you, god, I love being a mom."
You can watch Ciara's full interview below:
Featured image by Featureflash Photo Agency / Shutterstock.com
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
How This New Bond Repair Line Transformed One Mother's Postpartum Shedding Into The Ultimate Curl Comeback
This article is in partnership with SheaMoisture
For Crystal Obasanya, her wash day woes came shortly after her son did. The beauty and lifestyle content creator had been natural for years, but during postpartum, she quickly learned about one reality many mothers can relate to experiencing: postpartum hair loss. “Sis had thinning hair. Sis had split ends,” she shared about her hair changes in a Reel via xoNecole.
Over a year into her postpartum journey, Crystal explained she also had dry, brittle hair, noting that keeping it hydrated before pregnancy had already been “a task.” The 4C natural recalled going from thick hair during pregnancy to a thin hairline due to postpartum shedding as “devastating.” When it came to strengthening and revitalizing her hair, the new SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection was just the thing she needed to elevate her damaged coils to revive and thrive status and get them poppin' again.
SheaMoisture is providing us with the cheat code for transforming dry and damaged strands into thriving and deeply nourished crowns. By unveiling their 4-step hair system, the SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is equipping you with the tools to reverse signs of hair damage caused by protective styling, heat, and color and is uniquely formulated for Type 3 and 4 hair textures.
The haircare system revives damaged natural hair by repairing and rebuilding broken hair bonds through a game-changing combination of HydroPlex Technology and AminoBlend Complex, a unique blend of fortifying amino acids formulated specifically for curly and coily hair. Scientifically proven to reduce breakage by 84% and make your hair six times stronger (vs. non-conditioning shampoo), the collection infuses your hair with the nourishment it craves and the strength it deserves.
All five products of the SheaMoisture Bond Collection are infused with natural strengthening ingredients like Amla Oil and fair-trade shea butter. The collection consists of the 4-step breakage-fighting Bond Repair system, as well as the Bonding Oil.
“When trying it out, I quickly noticed that my hair felt revived and renewed, and my curls were so hydrated,” Crystal said while using the Amla-infused Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner. “I also felt my hair strands were stronger.” So much so that the influencer felt brave enough to get her hair braided shortly thereafter. “I can definitely say that I will be keeping it in my hair wash routine,” she added in the caption of her Reel about her positive experience using the products.
SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is making bond-building a key player in your wash day routines and the purveyor of life for thirsty manes. Because who doesn't want stronger, shinier, happier hair?
Step One: Bond Repair Collection Shampoo
Rejuvenate your hair with SheaMoisture Bond Repair Shampoo, your go-to solution for luscious locks. Packed with hella hydration power, this shampoo adds moisture by 60% while removing buildup without stripping your strands. This shampoo gently cleanses impurities while significantly enhancing shine, smoothness, and softness.
The Bond Repair Collection Shampoo is the first step in the 4-step Bond Repair system, all of which are powered by the uniquely formulated AminoBlend, and HydroPlex, SheaMoisture’s technology that rebuilds hair strength at its core.
Step Two: Bond Repair Collection Conditioner
Tailored to repair styling damage, this creamy conditioner locks in 12x more moisture than standard non-conditioning shampoos, boosting damaged hair strength by 1.5x with significantly less breakage. The creamy SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Conditioner deeply hydrates, enhances manageability, and leaves your hair looking healthier and shinier.
Step Three: Bond Repair Collection Masque
This Ultra Moisturizing reparative masque is a moisture-rich game-changer for those dealing with the aftermath of hair damage caused by styling. The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Masque delivers 13 times more moisture compared to non-conditioning shampoos, ensuring your hair feels nourished and soft. Designed to repair and rejuvenate, this masque significantly strengthens damaged hair — making it twice as strong while reducing breakage.
Step Four: Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner
Elevate your curl game with SheaMoisture’s Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner. Lightweight and hydrating, the Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner provides 12x more moisture than non-conditioning shampoos and tames frizz with 24-hour humidity control. Designed to define curls and coils, the leave-in conditioner enhances softness and shine allowing you to detangle effortlessly.
Bonding Oil
The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Bonding Oil is a multitasking all-in-one formula that acts as a heat protectant and provides the hair with moisture, strength, shine, damage protection, and intense nourishment. This lightweight oil not only offers 24-hour frizz and humidity control but also fortifies your tresses, making them up to 5 times stronger with significantly less breakage.
Featured image courtesy
'ACross Generations With Tiffany Cross' Talks With Black Men About Safe Spaces & Their Love For Black Women
ACross Generations with Tiffany Cross, a podcast featuring intergenerational discussions on contemporary issues, has returned with an impactful episode exploring the challenges Black men face in America.
This week's show features host Tiffany Cross, Keith Dent, an entrepreneur, relationship coach, and author, alongside Isaiah Gaymon, a digital creator. The pair delved into various topics, including overcoming societal stereotypes, developing emotional intelligence, fostering platonic relationships, and navigating the complexities of modern dating.
A particularly engaging topic from the discussion was interracial dating and its prevalence in the Black community. According to a Pew Research Center study, Black men "are twice as likely" to participate in interracial marriages compared to Black women. The study also indicates that the higher a Black man's status or education level is, the more likely he is to marry a non-Black woman.
When Cross asked if the men had been in interracial relationships, Gaymon, who is married with children, revealed he had avoided dating white women. He explained this choice stemmed from his discomfort with being viewed as a fetish, a perception often rooted in stereotypes about Black men.
“Absolutely not. I want my family to be Black. The behaviors of white women I just don’t really favor,” he said.
As the conversation shifted to how Gaymon would react if a friend introduced a white woman to their social circle, the digital creator revealed he would question the dynamic to ensure all parties involved were entering the relationship for genuine reasons.
“I’m for sure asking questions. He must really like her,” he stated.
On the other hand, Dent has experience dating white women. The relationship coach, now married to a Black woman and father to adult children, explained that his environment and not being entirely accepted in the Black community influenced his past interracial dating.
“I would say yes… I went to a predominately white school,” he said. “Over time, I was seen as the nerd, but I was not seen as a part of the Black community.”
Following Dent's admission, Gaymon offered a counterpoint. He emphasized that many Black men deeply appreciate and value relationships with Black women, so much so that they are willing to be patient in their search for an ideal partner.
“There are Black men out here who love Black women. Who may take a longer time to find somebody [because] they haven’t found a Black woman that they want, but they won’t quit on that,” he stated.
For more on this topic and to explore other subjects discussed, the full episode of ACross Generations with Tiffany Cross is now available on the show's official YouTube channel.
Exploring the Emotions of Black Men With Keith Dent & Isaiah
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Feature image ACross Generations/ YouTube