
It really is interesting how the Universe works. Just yesterday afternoon, I had a conversation with a friend of mine who was excited to tell me that, after several years of dating, two of his friends not only decided to get engaged, they are planning to get married before 2020 rolls around. Chile, you already know, with this way this year has been moving, that's like them saying that they're basically getting married tomorrow. Anyway, little did I know that it was probably right around that conversation that Cassie was doin' the damn thing herself by making it official with the man she just got engaged to, and we wrote about, almost a month to the day—Mr. Alex Fine.
When I woke up in the wee hours of the morning and saw the news about it, shoot, everywhere, I did what I'm sure thousands of others have at this point. I headed on over to her IG to see what she had posted. At the time that I'm writing this, since she announced her engagement, honestly, there hasn't been much. I mean, there's literally been three pictures. A dope casual one of her overlooking the ocean at sunset, a black-and-white shot of her and her beloved and, a picture that appears to be a portrait of Cassie and Alex using water as a bedsheet (that last one is what she posted yesterday). But no wedding announcement. No wedding pics (one of their friends posted the feature shot you see; that's how we know that it went down).
And to tell you the truth, that makes me like Cassie and Alex even more; they're too busy being into each other and actually living life to be out here constantly posting on the gram. Good for them. Really.
And while I could get into a media version of connect the dots (at least based on what we think that we know about Cassie's journey) or I could low-key troll to see what—eh hem—others have to say about this new season in her life, personally, I think all of that is totally unnecessary. I say that because there is a Jewish tradition called a mikveh. It's the act of immersing yourself in water to symbolize a new season in your life. Some Jews do it right before they get married. I dig the concept. To me, wedding days should be seen this way. It really doesn't matter what happened before you and the one you decide to commit your lives to have experienced. If you were paying close attention, it all prepared you for the moment when you look into each other's eyes and pledge to become one with each other. Everything prior to that is…fodder. Kinda irrelevant too. Because relevancy speaks to purpose. Your wedding day signifies a renewal and a purpose that requires leaving so much of who you were and what you did…behind.
Still, the reason why I wanted to shout Cassie and Alex out, just one-more-time-again, is because of something that Alex actually shared earlier this summer on his Instagram page. It was on June 12, to be exact:
"Letter to Cassie
"I promise you that I will do every single thing in my power to support you and help you. I promise that you will never be alone.I promise that you will be loved beyond expectation and we will show our children how to be in a healthy relationship. I promise to always come home with a great attitude and give our children and you undivided attention. I promise to always keep you and the child first nothing comes before you.
"I promise you will be showered in kisses and hugs every single day. I promise that I will be the best father/baby daddy. You two are my greatest loves I have and will ever have. I cannot wait for the rest of our lives together and to raise a beautiful happy child in our beautiful happy life."
Yes Alex. Beautiful Alex. We totally support you on this, Alex.
If you've ever read any article that I've written on celebrity news, I try my best to use them as teachable moments; to find ways to apply whatever I'm covering to our own lives. On the day following Cassie's wedding day, here are three takeaways that I hope we keep in mind in the midst of our own love journeys.
A man of his word is a man you can trust. A man you can trust is a man you can respect. A man you can respect is a man you can love—and shouldn’t be afraid to commit to.
I try my best to put the disclaimer in that we don't know what famous people have going on behind closed doors. All we know is what they tell us and what others have to think about it. But I will say that when I looked at Cassie, all beautiful in her wedding dress (I really dig the veil, Mrs. Fine), the part where Alex said, "I promise that you will never be alone" in his summer post did indeed come to mind. He just asked her to marry him on August 27, y'all. They got married on September 25. He didn't just say, "I mean, let's see how this thing goes" or "Let's just enjoy being engaged for a while". Alex solidified his promise with a lifelong commitment. At the same time, Cassie didn't hesitate to oblige. It's easy to just…move forward when trust, respect and love—all three, not just one—are in place.
If you're currently seeing someone and you desire to be married, please make sure that this winning combo is a part of your own relationship. That you can trust him and he can trust you. That you can respect him and he can respect you. That you love him and he loves you—and that there are actions to back up those three important words.
This brings me to my next point.
When men know, they know. And they move based on what they know.
I'm a marriage life coach, so I talk to married couples a lot. Of the healthy and happy ones that I've talked to, something that the husbands have always told me is they knew; they knew their wife was the one. And because they knew, they didn't want to drag their feet. They didn't need her to give them ultimatums. They weren't interested in long and drawn out engagements either.
Although I think a lot of people sleep on the benefits of eloping or having a small wedding, I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with a having a big ceremony or taking the time that's needed to plan (and pay) for one. What I am saying is most marriage counselors, therapists and coaches will tell you that if you're engaged for longer than two years, that's something to really think long and hard about. An engagement should speak to the intention of getting married; not eventually but sooner than later. And if two people truly want to marry one another, why wait?
It's just my personal take on things, but whenever a single man, who's in a relationship, tells me that he's thinking about proposing, the two things that I say is, "Make sure you can pay for your ring upfront" (you'd be amazed how many wives are still paying on their own engagement ring because their husband financed it, fell on hard times and how she's having to pay it off) and "If you're not ready to say 'I do' within the year…wait."
We know that Alex was "'bout it" because it took—and by "took" what I really mean is wasted—no time. Cassie being his fiancée wasn't enough for him. He was on a mission to make her his wife.
Let God write your love story.
Oh, please believe that I get asked often if I ever get weary from being a never-been-married-before single woman and dealing with marriage so much. Not really because 1) being a marriage life coach has shown me a side of marriage that a lot of singles don't get to see; it has made me look at it from a much more realistic perspective and 2) I don't want someone else's love story; I want my own. How ever many chapters it needs to have, so be it.
You know, a quote that I really like is, "Your love story is different from those you watch in movies. Movies were written by screenwriters. Yours was written by God." If you're currently single and reading this, while you might be tempted to secretly envy Cassie, I'm going to encourage you not to do that. Be happy for her love story. Also, stay positive and excited about your own. Literally, this time last year, Cassie's life was very, very different. Your story is still being written. Simply relax and play your part (try not to do your own "editing" either. He knows best).
As for Mr. and Mrs. Fine, I couldn't be happier. Promises keep being made. Promises keep being fulfilled. Just how love should be. From the entire xoTribe, congrats and blessings upon blessings to you both. Keep enjoying the chapters of your own very special love story.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Sooo...Do You Want A Marriage? Or Just A Wedding?
Why Every Engaged Couple Needs A 'Marriage Registry'
You REALLY Want To Get Married. Why Is That?
Before You Marry Him, Check Out His Relationships With Other Folks
Feature image by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images for Mark's Club
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Your October 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Magnetic Love & Divine Timing
October is about the power of attraction. This is the month to set your intentions, create space for a new beginning, and find your balance between the past, present, and future. There aren’t many astrological transits this month, signaling more possibilities in the air and an opportunity to create that which you desire.
We begin the month in Libra Season, and Libra Season is always the time of year when love is the highlight. With Juno also entering Sagittarius on October 1, right as we begin the month, it’s about committing yourself to a new adventure, to the gifts of love, and to perspectives that heal and bring you closer to another.
October 2025 Astrology: An Overview
Mercury enters Scorpio on October 6, and Mercury in Scorpio only knows depth. The conversations being had this month are inspiring, transformative, and a little more blunt than usual. This energy is good for the power of persuasion and for asking for what you want, especially within business and financial matters. On the same day, we have a Supermoon in Aries, and this is a powerful Full Moon for reflection, owning your power, and letting go of the insecurities that don’t resonate with what you want for yourself and your future.
Venus, the planet of love, moves into Libra on October 13 after being in Virgo for the past month, and after some time of healing and clarity in love, Libra is here to bring in the romance. Venus loves being in Libra, and this energy creates new beginnings within relationships and provides a little extra magic in this area of life. With Pluto going direct in Aquarius on the same day after being retrograde since May, life and love move forward mid-October, helping provide more stable and nurturing foundations in your personal life and community as well.
The New Moon of the month occurs in Libra on October 21, making it a beautiful time for manifesting romance, balance, and harmony in your world.
This New Moon aligns with the Sun in Libra, and it’s all about letting a new beginning transform your world and the love in your life for the better. Scorpio Season officially begins on October 22, and Neptune retrograde enters Pisces on the same day, bringing in some water sign energy into the mix. As we close out the month, it’s time to renew, honor the transformations occurring, and know that your dreams aren’t as far out of reach as they may seem at times.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what October 2025 has in store for you.
What October 2025 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is all about perspective, Aries. This is the month to trust the divine timing of your life, and not let the what-ifs overwhelm you. With the Sun in Libra, your sister sign, for most of the month, October is about building connections, finding your balance in love, and knowing that you are worthy of what your heart is seeking right now. We have a Supermoon in your sign on October 6, and emotions are a little heavier this month, but also healing. Give yourself grace, and let go of what isn’t working for you.
Venus is in your house of love from October 13 until November 6, and there is a lot to look forward to when it comes to romance and the relationship dynamics in your life as you move through the month. It’s about being confident in your power of attraction and letting love come to you right now. Before October comes to an end, we have a New Moon in your 7th house of love as well, and with all this energy in your relationship zone, life changes for you in love for the better in October.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a spiritual month for you, Taurus. You are thinking a lot about your next steps ahead, and are getting organized, focused, and aligned. The Supermoon on October 6 is a time of reflection for you, and you are entering the month ready to let go of the past, heal, and create space for something new in your life. This month is all about trusting your intuition and letting your wisdom guide you in your personal growth and evolution.
You are more than where you have been, and this month is a reminder of that.
With Mars in Scorpio and in your 7th house of love all month, you are motivated by the partnerships in your life right now. Your love life and relationships are where the action is for you this month, and you are honoring your passion and direction here. Venus, your planetary ruler, moves into your house of health mid-month and into November, and you are leaving October seeking healthier habits, daily routines, and relationships. Overall, this month is helping you align with your vision.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is a fresh start for you, Gemini. Your heart is free, love is beaming, and you are feeling larger than life. This month is about taking a leap of faith in yourself, honoring your confidence in life, and being your biggest advocate. With the Sun in your 5th house of self-expression, romance, and happiness, and with Venus entering this same area of your chart mid-October, there is a lot to look forward to right now, and things are looking up for you.
On October 21, we have a New Moon in a fellow air sign, and this is a good time to set your intentions for creative projects, hobbies, romance, and your overall happiness in life. There are a lot of little moments of magic unfolding for you this month, and this New Moon is one of them. Before October comes to an end, Mercury, your ruling planet, enters Sagittarius, and this brings open communication into your relationships, and you are having lively conversations and insights.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a transformative month for you, Cancer. You are moving through closure, healing, and depth as you navigate the opportunities that are coming into your life, with the stability you are seeking. With the Sun in your 4th house of home and family in October, this is the month to spend more time in your safe spaces, connect with your loved ones, and get grounded. You are also more focused on your financial world right now, and this is a good time for building new foundations for yourself and looking at the bigger picture when it comes to your career and life goals.
Mars is in your house of romance and happiness for the entire month, and this is one of the highlights of your life right now. You are passionate about your joy and all the things that light you up inside, and you are protecting your peace and giving more of your energy to your pleasure. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Libra, highlighting your home life, and some Cancers may be moving at the end of the month or getting the opportunity to turn a page here. Overall, this is your month to reflect, go within, and make sense of what has been restricting you from feeling stable.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about taking things one day at a time and being patient with what is presenting itself to you, Leo. This month, you are getting your ducks in a row and gaining the clarity needed to create a new beginning in your life. The month begins with a Supermoon in a fellow fire sign on October 6, aligning in harmony with you and fueling your need for adventure. You are going over the wisdom you have gained as of late and how it has shifted the way you navigate your life and see the world around you.
On October 13, Pluto goes direct in your 7th house of love, after being retrograde here since May. This is bringing in more balance, empowerment, and passion into your love life, and this is a positive change of energy for you after a time of some power struggles within your relationships. Before the month comes to an end, we have a New Moon in Libra, and this New Moon is the best time to set intentions for clarity, communication, and connection. October is about taking your time with things and knowing that everything is working out in your favor at the end of the day.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis October is about finding your balance, Virgo. There is a lot of energy when it comes to your finances this month, but you may be overworking or overcommitting yourself in the process. Honor the opportunities and responsibilities in your life, but make sure you are equally taking care of your health and prioritizing your time and energy so that you don’t burn out. Venus, the planet of love, is in your sign until October 13; use this energy to your benefit and let things come to you.
You are a magnet for abundance, romance, and support if you allow yourself to receive it.
On October 13, Venus moves into your 2nd house of income, and your relationships are a supportive place for you to lean on right now. Your love life and partnerships are where your financial world is evolving this month, and this is a good time to ask for what you want; you never know what may happen. At the end of the month, Neptune goes retrograde in your sister sign, Pisces, and you are taking a step back and reassessing what love means for you right now. Overall, October is about remembering that you don’t have to do it all alone, Virgo.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLibra Season is here, and it’s your time to shine and thrive! This Libra Season changes everything for you, and October is when you really begin to feel this shift in your life. The Sun is in your sign until October 22, and it’s time to put yourself first. With a Supermoon in Aries as we begin the month as well, you are letting go of any unhealthy attachments or relationship dynamics that take you away from yourself, and are moving into deeper clarity.
On October 13, Venus, your planetary ruler, enters your sign, where it loves to be the most. With Venus in your sign for the rest of the month, love takes on a new tone, and you are feeling more love for yourself and where life is taking you right now. To end the month, we have a New Moon in Libra, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want life to grow for you over the next year. This is a month of embarking on a new journey of self, and allowing what is inspiring you right now to build your confidence in yourself and your relationships.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about honoring your freedom and your power to decide, Scorpio. A lot is going on for you this month, and you have the passion and energy to see things through. Mercury, the planet of communication, moves into your sign at the beginning of the month on October 6, and this is going to help you get your ideas across, making it a good month for business matters, networking, and getting inspired. With Mars also in your sign for the entire month, life moves forward for you in transformative ways in October, and you are a force to be reckoned with.
On October 13, Venus moves into your house of closure, healing, and endings, and you are ready to close one chapter of love and create space for a new one. You are in a contemplative space when it comes to matters of the heart, and you are ready to let go of any heaviness you have been feeling here. Scorpio Season officially begins on October 22, and you are ready to begin again. This Scorpio Season is about owning your confidence in life while letting go of insecurities or self-doubts that have been getting in the way of that.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleEverything unfolds for you in a beautiful way this month, Sagittarius. You are flowing well with the energy of October, and life opens up to you. With the Sun in your 11th house of aspirations, dreams, manifestations, and community, you are feeling in balance with your desires and your reality, and are bridging the gap here. This is a month of friendship, believing in your dreams, and creating space for love. With Juno also entering your sign at the beginning of the month until the end of the year, you are attracting soulmates into your life.
On October 6, we have a Supermoon in a fellow fire sign, allowing you some closure in love and a chance at healing. Your heart is feeling renewed, and you are owning your power in creating happiness in your life. Before the month ends, Mercury moves into Sagittarius, where it will be until mid-November, and inspiration is heightened. Pay attention to the guidance you are receiving this month, the conversations you are having, and the light bulb moments that are going off for you right now.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about going within and connecting with the guidance of your soul, Capricorn. You are taking more time for yourself this month, and rightly so, as you need time to fully process what has happened so far this year. Pluto goes direct in your 2nd house of income, and this moves things forward when it comes to your earning potential, abundance, and values.
The key this month is in valuing yourself, your perspective, and what you are building in your life right now.
On October 21, we have a New Moon happening in your career zone, and this is a good time to manifest your goals within your professional world. Put yourself out there, show up, and know that you are worthy of success and that your dreams aren’t too big for you. As we close out the month, Mercury moves into your house of closure, even further facilitating your desire for contemplation and alone time this month. Overall, October is about taking care of your mental health, owning your successes, and finding your peace.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a new beginning for you in love and in life, Aquarius. Your heart is feeling inspired, and there is a lot to look forward to right now. The Supermoon at the beginning of the month will be occurring in your 3rd house of communication, giving you the answers you have been looking for and helping you close the door on a chapter in your life that left you feeling misunderstood or misdirected. You are ready for a change of pace this month, and you are receiving that as we begin October.
Mid-October, Pluto goes direct in your sign after being retrograde since May, and this is a huge breath of fresh air for you and your path ahead. You may have been a little harder on yourself while Pluto was retrograde this year, and now you feel ready to forgive, move on, and own your power. Before the month comes to an end, we have a New Moon in Libra, and you are embarking on a new adventure. The end of the month is a good time for traveling, exploring, and gaining a new perspective.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is giving you the guidance, perspective, and passion to see yourself with clear, loving eyes, Pisces. There is a sense of feeling more overwhelmed with life lately, and October is allowing you to gain the insight needed to move on from this energy, or at least see more of the gifts of what has occurred. On October 6, we have a Supermoon in an area of your chart having to do with self-worth, values, and income, and it’s time to see the gifts of what you have been investing in and valuing in your life, including yourself.
Let go of the need to play it small or count yourself out of important conversations, and know that you deserve a seat at the table.
With Pluto going direct in your 12th house of healing as we end the month, you are finally getting the answers you have been looking for emotionally, and it’s changing your perspective on your commitments in life and making you feel empowered. Before the month ends, Neptune goes retrograde in Pisces, and you are going to be moving through a personal revolution as we close out the year. You are inspired by change right now, and this month is what kicks starts this metamorphosis within you.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Becoming A Surfer Taught Me An Important Lesson About Being A Black Woman
As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer. If you have a story you'd like to share but aren't sure about how to put it into words, contact us at submissions@xonecole.com with the subject "As Told To" for your story to be featured.
This is Chelsea Woody's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
I'm a Black woman with a full afro, and I surf.
I wanted to learn to surf since I was a teenager after seeing Kate Bosworth in the movie Blue Crush. I was enamored with everything about the movie: the surfer lifestyle, living in beach environments, how freeing the act of surfing made her feel.
As a teen, we're more enamored by the idea of just becoming a surfer or spending carefree summers along the beach. In reality, the lack of representation takes its toll, and you realize how differences can sometimes make it difficult to relate to anyone on the journey or break into surfing.
The more I reflect, the more I realized that Kate inspired me because she was the only example that I had of female surfers—despite looking nothing like me.
I didn't grow up in a coastal town, so I wasn't raised around surfing. I didn't actually learn to surf until much later in my life. It was always in the back of my mind, but whenever I found myself on vacation in places such as Hawaii, I could never convince myself to try out of fear of what those consequences might mean for my melanated features and my hair.

As crazy as it may sound (to others), we know that hair is a major excuse as to why many Black women choose not to participate in any water sport. The need to maintain unrealistic hairstyle upkeep, combined with the fear of the open ocean, and a necessary strength in swimming, means when I look around, I don't see many people—male or female—that look like me. These are also major reasons as to why we represent less than 1% of any water sport.
And unfortunately, for many Black and brown women, there is still a major antiquated view of skin tone and colorism that can keep us from spending time in the outdoors and sun.
Access to outdoor spaces and having family members or friends to pass down traditions also contribute to the lack of diversity.
It's unfortunate, but the facts. So, how do we weaken the stigma? How can we spark the interest in Black families to encourage them to add surfing to the list of what we can do?
We can give our community positive examples and resources to help them feel more comfortable in the ocean. Through representation, hopefully, we can encourage more Black families to get out in the surf lineup and know that we belong in these spaces. Then we can see the generational growth in outdoor spaces. When we see more folks that look like us, it begins to normalize what should already be normal.
A few years into my marriage, my husband and I decided to take a break from corporate life, quit our jobs, and travel abroad for a year and a half. I figured this was as good as time as any to finally learn to surf. We posted up in Indonesia for a few months and both committed ourselves to learning. We would hit the water every day for a month; it became a part of our daily routine.
Initially, when I first started surfing, I was a bit insecure about not fitting the typical surfer stereotype. In Indonesia, although the majority of the population shared my skin tone, there weren't many Indonesian women who surfed, and there certainly weren't any Black women. Additionally, swimsuit options didn't fit my athletic body type the same, and my protective braided hairstyles made me stand out.
Refusing to be discouraged, I didn't allow my outward appearance to be indicative of my interests. But oftentimes, when people have the similar interests, there's a tendency to want to fit a certain mold to make sure people know that you belong to that group. I quickly realized that my surf style wasn't at risk of emulating anyone, my flavor was a little different. And I really learned to embrace that.
I didn't need to try to fit into a space that didn't have people like me in mind at all, allowing me to be unapologetically myself. That was one of my most liberating realizations in my surfing. But I still had more work to do.
You know how, as a Black or brown person in a "particular" room, you see another sister or brother, and suddenly you're immediately connected? That's similar to how my surf sisters bonded over our relationship with the ocean. Certain experiences we have surfing just don't need explanation, they understand and can relate. It has been such a blessing finding these women. The ladies and I would regularly discuss the lack of diversity, what the sport considers marketable, and how that impacts surfing for future generations who are both free surfers and competitive.
We collectively knew there had to be more Black and brown girls who are interested in surfing; those who surf and are unapologetically who they are. And in the slight chance that there weren't any, we knew the importance of showing examples of what we didn't have when we got started
Soon, our community, Textured Waves, was born. We're just four African-American female surfers who wanted to create a space for women of all shades who surf. We support each other through sisterly camaraderie and creative outlets related to surfing, and we aim to change the narrative of who is a surfer through imagery and representation. We're even working on a few short film projects that showcase the beauty of African-American female surfers. If you can believe it, nothing like this exists.
It's all a full circle moment, and why I fight so hard to promote diversity in the sport.
Here in the States, we are a lot further behind other countries in terms of representation in the surf world. That has a lot to do with the history of this country: slavery, Jim Crow, segregation at beaches and in swimming pools, I could go on and on. But I hope Black women reclaim their place in the sea, and, eventually, we get to see a 'Serena Williams' of surfing, representing us on a competitive world stage. I hope that in the future we begin to see more diversity in aquatics and beach life as a whole.
As often as I can, I try to surf. I am happiest and feel most beautiful when I'm gliding up and down on a wave in my flow. Carving my own lines on the wave feels like dancing on water to me. No matter what it looks like to anyone else, I know what it feels like to me, and that is the most beautiful feeling.
That feeling will forever be unexplainable.
This year, we are no longer accepting representation that is limited to what we're shown. We have to expound our interests to go beyond and visualize our wildest dreams. Women who go against the grain inspire me.
So in essence, I'm inspired by my sea sisters who work to challenge the visuals we see on the daily.
To keep up with Chelsea's journey, you may follow her on Instagram @chel.bythe.sea. Also, to learn how you can join the movement, you can visit Textured Waves' website for more information.
Featured image courtesy of Chelsea Woody
Originally published February 4, 2020









