I already know. Some of y’all read the title of this piece and already decided that you’re gonna just go ahead and skip it. Yet, hear me out — if you’ve made it even this far, I’m gonna ask that you don’t. While on the surface, carrier oils may seem like a bit of a ho-hum topic, I’m confident that by the end of this, you’ll see them in a completely different light.
Why? Because although the basic definition of carrier oils is they are oils that are derived from plants that are used to dilute essential oils so that your skin is better able to absorb them (yawn), this actually means that they can do a helluva lot for you — including in the bedroom department.
Behold, the sexual benefits of 12 different carrier oils. Ready?
1. Coconut Oil for Lube
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Coconut oil is made up of mostly fatty acids. This is great to know because they help to hydrate your skin, serve as a skin barrier (to protect it from environmental elements), and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
What makes it bomb when it comes to sexual activity is it can serve as a great all-natural lubricant (so long as you don’t use latex condoms; oil can break down their effectiveness); especially if you’re experiencing vaginal dryness or you tend to experience more friction during intercourse and you’re looking for an oil that can provide some much-needed relief.
2. Carrot Seed Oil for Better Sperm Count & Quality
If you like earthy and woodsy scents, you might like carrot seed oil. A cool thing about this oil is it contains antibacterial, antifungal, anti-inflammatory, and antioxidant properties which makes it awesome at fighting and even helping to prevent fungal and bacterial growth. It’s also a great skin exfoliant if you’re looking for a gentle way to remove dead skin cells and even out your skin tone.
Since carrot seed oil is also rich in antioxidants, beta-carotene, and vitamin E, men can benefit from this oil because it helps prevent sperm damage and even increases a man’s sperm count over time. Since it can also help to reduce stress, applying it and/or diffusing it can actually increase your chances of having an orgasm — or more intense ones.
3. Neem Oil for Spermicide
Another name for neem oil is margosa oil. Interestingly enough, it’s most popular for being a natural kind of pesticide although the fatty acids, vitamin E, and calcium in it make it good for the skin too. In fact, if you’re looking for an oil that will naturally help boost collagen production in your skin, look no further.
So, what makes neem oil great when it comes to what we’re talking about today? Some science-based reports from homeopaths say that it’s quite effective when acting as an all-natural spermicidal agent. Yep — you can put some of it into your va-jay-jay and it will help to prevent pregnancy.
Now, you should probably do some additional digging on your own when it comes to this one and definitely discuss it with your physician. But the ever-evolving data is pretty solid if you’re someone who’s not yet ready for a baby, but you don’t want to put any birth control that’s full of hormones into your system either.
4. Sweet Almond Oil for Lube & Yeast Infections
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Hands down, two of my favorite oils for my face are rosemary oil and sweet almond oil. I’m so into both of them that it’s rare that I won’t turn in without washing my face with some sulfur soap (it’s great for acne and keeping my complexion even) and then applying a thin layer of one of these oils afterward.
As far as sweet almond oil goes, specifically, the fatty acids in it help your skin to retain moisture, the vitamin E helps to protect your skin from UV damage and the vitamin A is awesome at fighting acne.
Sweet almond oil can benefit your sex life because it’s also a solid lubricant for unprotected sex and it contains properties that can help to fight a yeast infection if you’re someone who is prone to it due to condoms or experiencing a new partner.
5. Jojoba Oil for Lube
There are fatty acids galore in jojoba oil. If you add to that the fact that it’s a good source of vitamins B-complex and E along with anti-inflammatory properties, you definitely need this in your arsenal if you want to get or keep clear skin or you’re looking for an all-natural way to soothe the symptoms that are associated with eczema or psoriasis.
Sexually, if you want to use something with no chemicals in it that will make anal action easier, this oil tops the list. The slip is pretty amazing and it’s fairly long-lasting. Just remember that again, as with all oils, latex condoms aren’t a reliable complement. On the other hand, polyurethane and nitrile condoms typically are.
6. Vitamin E Oil for Stronger Erections & Libidos
If there was any oil on this list that you probably knew was a lifesaver when it comes to skincare, this was probably the one. It helps your skin to retain moisture. It protects your skin from cellular damage. It speeds up the healing of scars. It reduces skin itchiness. It makes eczema and psoriasis easier to deal with. The list goes on and on.
And why is it so bomb as far as sex is concerned? For men, it helps to increase blood flow to their penis so that their erections are stronger (although it must be consumed in moderation; some studies say that super high doses over a long period of time can increase a man’s risk of being diagnosed with prostate cancer). For men and women, it’s also a powerful antioxidant that helps to boost the libido.
7. Hemp Seed Oil for Reduced Stress & Enhanced Sexual Pleasure
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When you press hemp seeds, (seeds that come from the cannabis plant) what you’re going to get is hemp seed oil. An important thing that it contains is Gamma-linoleic acid (GLA); it’s great at reducing inflammation. That component is so effective that it’s not uncommon for professional skincare experts to recommend this particular oil for acne, psoriasis, eczema, and atopic dermatitis.
And honestly, if you don’t invest in any other carrier oil for sexual purposes, you can’t go wrong with making this your choice. It reduces stress. It puts you in a better mood. It can even help to enhance the pleasure of physical touch. By the way, when it comes to increasing vaginal sensations, a hemp oil worth checking out is Awaken Arousal Oil with CBD. It ain’t cheap yet word on the street is that it’s pretty damn effective.
8. Rosehip Seed Oil for Tighter Vulvar Skin
Rosehips literally come from the fruit of the rosebush. They are filled with vitamins A, C, and F as well as antioxidants and fatty acids. One of the reasons why we as Black women should take special note of it is it contains properties that help to get rid of hyperpigmentation. It can also help to firm up the skin which makes it an ideal oil for sagging skin after childbirth and/or breastfeeding.
You know what this means, right? Rosehip seed oil can also help to tighten up your vulvar skin if you sense that it is aging too. Plus, the lycopene and beta-carotene that it contains will lighten up your vulvar skin (if you wish) and its potent anti-inflammatory properties can help to soothe your vagina if you and yours really got it in one night.
9. Grapeseed Oil for DIY Massage Oil
Grapeseed oil is literally what it sounds like. It’s an oil that is derived from pressed grapes and is high in vitamin E and antioxidants. I personally use it for my hair because it’s a light oil that seals my ends and soothes my scalp. However, it’s also great when it comes to increasing skin elasticity, protecting skin from sun damage and even helping to heal acne and acne marks (in part because it works to even out your skin tone).
Because it is so good for the skin, use it as a base for a sexy DIY massage oil (it’s totally tasteless if you want to use it as an ingredient for an edible oil, by the way). Although, it should go on record that because it dries rather quickly, you might not want to rely on it as a vaginal lubricant…unless you want to keep applying it.
10. Wheat Germ Oil for PMS Relief
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Another kind of oil that’s packed with vitamin E is wheat germ oil. Not only does it encourage skin cell formation, but it also softens the appearance of scars and stretch marks and deeply hydrates your skin as it promotes greater flexibility which can help to keep you looking younger longer.
The vitamins B6 and E along with zinc and magnesium all play a role in helping to lessen the symptoms that are associated with PMS (premenstrual syndrome) as well as balancing out sex-based hormones. Since period sex is something that can actually help to bring relief to PMS and period-related symptoms, adding wheat germ oil to your diet could prove to be beneficial in a myriad of ways.
11. Evening Primrose Oil for Balanced Progesterone & Estrogen Levels
I’m a huge fan of evening primrose oil for a ton of reasons. One is because it’s great at keeping my skin clear and preventing those damn period pimples that I can’t seem to avoid. It’s able to do this because the properties in the oil help to improve your skin’s elasticity and texture while also making it feel more supple. This particular oil also has anti-inflammatory benefits which are what make it an all-natural way to treat acne.
As far as your sex life goes, evening primrose oil not only helps to balance out your progesterone and estrogen levels (the more balanced they are, the easier it is for you to enjoy sex), but it helps to increase your dopamine (which helps you to feel good) while also expanding your blood vessels; the more blood that flows, the easier it is to orgasm.
12. Pomegranate Seed Oil for Longer Erections & PCOS Relief
Whenever Rosh Hashanah (the new year that I personally observe) rolls around, something that I make sure to do is cop a few pomegranates (because that’s when they’re in season, plus, they are a symbolic fruit for that time of the year). Not only do they symbolize things like righteousness, fertility, beauty, power, and eternal life, but they also are loaded with antioxidants, antimicrobial properties, and other nutrients.
Skin-wise, pomegranate seed oil offers big boosts of collagen and elasticity while also unclogging pores and reversing the signs of skin damage.
Sex-wise, it rounds out the list of must-have carrier oils because it helps to give men a testosterone boost and longer erections as it helps both men and women to get — and stay — in better moods. As a serious bonus, there are several studies linked to its ability to bring relief to PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome).
See…I told y’all that carrier oils were their own lil’ aphrodisiacs. So, the next time you’re at the grocery store or a health food store (even better), treat yourself, your partner, and your sex life to a few bottles — and watch your sex life improve and intensify in ways you never imagined!
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RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Then there were those who gave up their zip code altogether and found a permanent home in the skies. After years spent recruiting students for a university, Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare became a full-time travel influencer and founded her travel company, Shakespeare Agency. And she's not alone.
These stories mirror the experiences of women across the world. For millions, the pandemic induced a seismic shift in priorities and desires. Corporate careers that were once hailed as the ultimate “I made it” moment in one's career were pushed to the back burner as women quit their jobs in search of a more self-fulfilling purpose.
xoNecole spoke to these three Black women who used the pandemic as a springboard to make their wildest dreams a reality, the lessons they learned, and posed the question of whether they’ll ever return to cubicle life.
Answers have been edited for context and length.
xoNecole: How did the pandemic lead to you leaving the cubicle?
Randi: I was becoming stagnant. I was working in mortgage and banking but I felt like my personality was too big for that job! From there, I transitioned to radio but was laid off during the pandemic. That’s what made me go full throttle with entrepreneurship.
Gabrielle: I moved around a lot for work. Five times over a span of seven years. I knew I needed a break because I had experienced so much. So, I just quit one day. Effective immediately. I didn’t know what I was going to do, I just knew I needed a break and to just regroup.
Lisa-Gaye: I was working in recruiting at a university and my dream job just kind of fell into my lap! But, I never got to fully enjoy it before the world shut down in March [2020] and I was laid off. On top of that, I was stuck in Miami because Jamaica had closed its borders due to the pandemic before I was able to return.
Randi O
xoN: Tell us about your journey after leaving Corporate America.
Randi: I do it all now! I have a podcast, I’m an on-air talent, I act, and I own a public relations company that focuses on social media engagement. It’s all from my network. When you go out and start a business, you can’t just say, “Okay I’m done with Corporate America,” and “Let me do my own thing.” If you don’t build community, if you don’t build a network it's going to be very hard to sustain.
Gabrielle: I realized in New York, there was not a lot to do for Black lesbians and queer folks. We don’t really have dedicated bars and spaces so I started doing events and it took off. I started focusing on my brand, Raw Honey. I opened a co-working space, and I was able to host an NYC Pride event in front of 100,000 people. I hit the ground running with Raw Honey. My events were all women coming to find community and come together with other lesbians and queer folks. I found my purpose in that.
Lisa-Gaye: After being laid off, I wrote out all of my passions and that’s how I came up with [my company] Shakespeare Agency. It was all of the things that I loved to do under one umbrella. The pandemic pulled that out of me. I had a very large social media following, so I pitched to hotels that I would feature them on my blog and social media. This reignited my passion for travel. I took the rest of the year to refocus my brand to focus solely on being a content creator within the travel space.
Gabrielle
xoN: What have you learned about yourself during your time as an entrepreneur?
Randi: [I learned] the importance of my network and community that I created. When I was laid off I was still keeping those relationships with people that I used to work with. So it was easy for me to transition into social media management and I didn’t have to start from scratch.
Gabrielle: The biggest thing I learned about myself was my own personal identity as a Black lesbian and how much I had assimilated into straight and corporate culture and not being myself. Now, I feel comfortable and confident being my authentic self. Now, I'm not sacrificing anything else for my career. I have a full life. I have friends. I have a social life. And when you are happy and have a full quality of life, I feel like [I] can have more longevity in my career.
Lisa-Gaye: [I'm doing] the best that I've ever done. The discipline that I’m building within myself. Nobody is saying, ‘Oh you have to be at work at this time.’ There’s no boss saying, ‘Why are you late?’ But, if I’m laying in bed at 10 a.m. then it's me saying [to myself], 'Okay, Lisa, get up, it's time for you to start working!’ That’s all on me.
xoNecole: What mistakes do you want to help people avoid when leaving Corporate America?
Randi: You have to learn about the highs and lows of entrepreneurship. You have a fast season and a slow season and I started to learn that when you're self-employed the latter season hits hard. Don't get caught up on the lows, just keep going and don't stop. I’m glad I did.
Gabrielle: I think everyone should quit their job and just figure it out for a second. You will discover so much about yourself when you take a second to just focus on you. Your skill set will always be there. You can’t be afraid of what will happen when you bet on yourself.
Lisa-Gaye: When it comes to being an influencer the field is saturated and a lot of people suffer from imposter syndrome. There is nothing wrong with being an imposter but find out how to make it yours, how to make it better. If you go to the store, you see 10 million different brands of bread! But you are choosing the brand that you like because you like that particular flavor.
So be an imposter, but be the best imposter of yourself and add your own flair, your own flavor. Make the better bread. The bread that you want.
Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
xoNecole: Will you ever return to your 9 to 5?
Randi: I wouldn’t go back to Corporate America. But I don’t mind working under someone. A lot of people try to get into this business saying, “I can't work under anyone.” That’s not necessarily the reason to start a business because you're always going to answer to somebody. Clients, brands, there’s always someone else involved.
Gabrielle: I went back! I really needed a break and I gave myself that. But, I realized I’m a corporate girl, [and] I enjoy the work that I do. I’m good at it and I really missed that side of myself. I have different sides of me and my whole identity is not Raw Honey or my queerness. A big side of me is business and that’s why I love having my career. Now I feel like my best self.
Lisa-Gaye: I really don’t. For right now, I love working for myself. It's gratifying, it's challenging, it's exciting. It’s a big deal for me to say I own my own business. That I am my own boss, and I'm a Black woman doing it.
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Featured image courtesy of Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
Originally published on February 6, 2023