Cancer is the moonchild of the zodiac. They are the only astrological sign ruled by the moon and have an intuitive, creative, affectionate, and compassionate nature. They are known for their sweet and caring approach to life and deeply value their loved ones and close relationships.
Don’t confuse Cancers with being emotional cry-babies who are too soft to stand up for themselves, however. Cancers are tenacious, boundary Queens who know how to stand their ground when necessary. Cancers are the type of people who not only excel in the home but are also quite business- and money-savvy. This dynamic sign brings a lot to the table, and many who have a Cancer in their life, know just how special they are.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleElement: Water
Modality: Cardinal
Symbol: The Crab
Planetary Ruler: The Moon
Tarot Card: The Chariot
Lucky Days: Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Sundays
Lucky Stones: Moonstone and Pearl
Colors: Blue, Silver, and Magenta
Cancers feel everything in a more in-tune and in-depth way than most. There are many sides to a Cancer, and they choose which sides they want to show you and when. They are the type of people who can go through many emotions in one day and are often seen as more moody than others. When they withdraw into their shell, it’s usually because emotions are running high for them or they need time and space to process.
Cancers are very self-protective of their energy, and rightly so. They prefer to be at home or in their safe spaces, and most Cancers are homebodies.
This makes sense because Cancer is the ruler of the fourth house in Astrology, which is the area of life that signifies the home, family, foundations, history, the inner world, privacy, and traditions. They are consistent in the way they give love and are some of the most loyal and dedicated people of the zodiac.
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Cancers are “the mother” in Astrology and often make great moms, wives, caretakers, or motherly figures, and they bring this type of nurturing quality to people’s lives effortlessly. They have a service-oriented mindset and are often thinking of how they can be there for others or support people in any way. They thrive when they have a good support system around themselves as well, and are very particular about the type of people they let into their lives. Once you’re in a Cancer’s inner circle, however, it’s usually forever, as the crab doesn’t easily let go of anyone.
Cancer Likes and Dislikes
Cancers love hosting, being around friends and family, building a legacy for themselves, all things cozy and comfortable, and being in more intimate settings. They value deep conversations and undivided attention, and their love language is quality time. A comfortable atmosphere is everything to a Cancer, and they love to feel safe and nurtured and to be giving this type of energy to others as well.
This is not to say that Cancers don’t like to travel and explore, but if they do so it’s usually to visit someone they know, to do something creative or inspiring, or it’s something they already have a stable plan for. Some of Cancer’s dislikes are large crowds or groups, unemotional people, instability, rejection, and isolation. They aren’t the best with change, and they don’t like anything that disrupts their routine, foundation, or familiarity, and can be stubborn in that way.
Career Life for Cancer
Cancers have a creative soul and love all things that are soul-expressive. They deeply value time and history, and have a sentimental heart that gives them a good eye for art, antiques, interior design, and real estate. They would also excel in careers as a teacher, doctor, nurse, chef, architect, social worker, and more.
Cancers overall thrive in professions that allow them to work with others in more team settings and that give them an outlet to be supportive or encouraging of another’s growth.
Security and financial stability are very important when it comes to a career for Cancer as well, and they need a career they feel safe in and one where they can see the opportunity for continual growth within the company or business. Cancers are a cardinal sign and they are more ambitious and hard-working than most people recognize or give them credit for when they think of Cancer. They are also very money-savvy and tend to be good at saving and acquiring assets for themselves.
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Compatible Zodiac Signs for Cancer
Cancers are devoted lovers. They wear their heart on their sleeve, and will always let you know where they stand with you and how much they care for you. In partnerships, Cancers often take on a more submissive role, and they truly just want to nurture and care for their partners in any way they know how to. They are highly emotional individuals, and being honest with them on how you are feeling and what you love about them, does wonders to the relationship with a Cancer.
Cancers find the most compatibility with water signs and earth signs. Scorpio and Pisces make great partners for Cancer because they understand where Cancer is coming from. The emotional world of this sign is not too much for a fellow water sign, and they often form a deep, unbreakable bond with one another.
Earth signs Virgo, Taurus, and Capricorn also make great matches for Cancer. Earth signs provide a stable, safe space for Cancer that they yearn for, and these two signs balance each other out well. Taurus specifically, is a great match for Cancer, as these two are a lot alike and can build a great life together.
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- The Personality & Love Compatibility Of A Cancer, Explained. ›
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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