Beyonce Is Putting Self-Love On Top By Defining Her Own Version Of Success
Many women are using this unpredictable time to self-reflect and improve on areas of their lives. If you are part of this wise population, then you know whatever you focus your attention on grows. Beyonce is no different...OK, maybe just a lil' tiny bit, but not fundamentally. In her conversation with British Vogue, the Queen took the time to speak about how radical black joy is in her life, which she is now letting spill into her fashion.
Whether it be by playing dress up with her family or the bright and bold colors used in her newly released Ivy Park collection, Beyonce is letting it be known that internal happiness is the new bag. This realization comes with a cost to us fanatics who have grown accustomed to our worlds coming to a pause when she releases a whole album with visuals out of thin air. Or that guilt-free and quick transfer from our savings to our checkings when she releases new world tour dates. This scale-back is with good reason as she explains:
"I truly cherish this time with my family, and my new goal is to slow down and shed stressful things from my life. I came into the music industry at 15 years old and grew up with the world watching, and I have put out projects non-stop. I released 'Lemonade' during the Formation World Tour, gave birth to twins, performed at Coachella, directed 'Homecoming', went on another world tour with Jay, then 'Black Is King', all back to back. It's been heavy and hectic.
"I've spent a lot of time focusing on building my legacy and representing my culture the best way I know-how. Now, I've decided to give myself permission to focus on my joy."
One of the biggest thieves of joy is comparison, and for an artist like Beyonce who has continued to reinvent herself decade after decade comes the pressure to top her last release commercially. However, this idea does not take into account the growth an artist has made personally, especially when choosing to make an impact over popularity.
Beyonce is deciding to unsubscribe from the limiting belief system fed to us and define her own version of success. To her, success looks like:
"Owning my films, clothing lines, and masters is important to me. Your songs, your image and the way you conduct business do not have to be created from a commercial point of view, or a male point of view. You can decide what success looks like for yourself. Being number one does not mean better quality. And commercial success certainly doesn't equate to being impactful. Cultural currency is invaluable."
One may look at Beyonce's decision and be able to see that as a woman, a wife, a mother, and a mogul, there is a shift in the consciousness of what it means to be a female version of a hustler. There is a knowing that success and happiness from a male point of view may differ entirely from what is most beneficial to a woman's overall well-being and quality of life.
This inspiration provides us with an opportunity to examine areas of our lives where we are using phrases like "I should feel joy about..." and instead ask ourselves, "What really brings me joy?" In response to that, we must have the courage to make radical changes in our lives, no matter the sacrifice.
"Soul not for sale." Beyonce said it best.
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Featured image by Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com
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New Jersey native creating a life that she loves while living in gratitude. She loves using beauty, and fashion to create a balanced lifestyle while prioritizing wellness. A devoted fur mom, and a full-time lover of laughter. She is out for revenge against the darkness by being light, taking her own advice, traveling the world, and letting you know that you are so lit! Connect with her via IG @iamzaniah and please visit Zaniahsworld.com
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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