How To Step Into Your Higher Self, Explained By An Expert.
Whenever we reach a roadblock in life, a number of different questions come to mind. Why me? What’s the purpose of this? What is all this trying to teach me? It's during these moments that life has a subtle way of nudging us to pause and listen because a necessary change could be on the horizon.
These inward signs are nothing to brush off as insignificant. In fact, when we see the outward manifestations of our stuckness in the form of hopelessness, purposelessness, and loss of enthusiasm, it’s a signal to acknowledge the unrest stirring beneath the surface.
Thankfully, we’re not just passengers to our journey, we get to be in the driver’s seat of our lives and course correct as we see fit. And amidst our weariness, there’s an even greater opportunity for clarity within the discomfort. By delving deep into our thoughts, emotions, and aspirations, we can transform our situation and become the person we truly desire to be.
To help, we’ve tapped Dr. Dain Heer, author of Being You, for the best questions to ask ourselves to become the fully actualized versions of ourselves that we want (and deserve) to be.
Q: What are some signs that it might be time for introspection in order to become our higher self?
A: What's true for us always makes us lighter and when we're trying to live according to other people's points of view of what we should be or do, we often get tired and unhappy. These are signs that we need to start looking in a different place for what needs to change.
Some of the warning signs may appear:
- When you don’t feel like yourself.
- When you are not happy.
- When things aren’t “working out” or you feel like you are stuck.
- When things feel heavy or roadblocks keep coming up.
- When you feel dissatisfied and in your head, you know that monkey mind voice that keeps coming up.
- When you are also very tired.
Q: What are a few questions one can ask ourselves to become the person we desire to be?
A: Firstly, I would find a quiet space and ask: “If I could create anything in my life in the next five years, what would it be?”
You may want to write it down or speak it into a recorder and examine these six areas of life: money and finances, business and work, relationship, body, and location. Get a sense of how it would feel to have these things exactly how you would like them. Then, ask the question: "What can I choose, and what do I need to change to create a life that I love?"
Some other great questions to ask yourself daily are:
- What else is possible for me that I've never considered?
- What if none of what I've been living has to be my reality in the future?
- What will my life be like in five years if I choose this?
- How does it get better than this?
- What else is truly possible?
- What would it take for this to be greater than I ever thought was possible?
- What's right about me I'm not getting?
- What limiting beliefs or patterns am I ready to release?
- Am I being true to myself, or am I living according to others' expectations?
Q: Why are times of introspection and self-reflection important for our overall growth?
A: In today's world, we tend to be very go-go-go — running from one fire to the next. We very seldom have a sense that we are present in our lives and in control. Introspection and self-reflection allow us to gain awareness again of what's actually true for us. Remember, what's true always makes you lighter.
We are capable of miracles and part of what it takes is for us to get presents and ask for what we would truly desire. Introspection and self-reflection [are] so important because [they] get us out of the autopilot that we've been functioning from and get us present in our lives, and when we're present in our lives, we can create our lives.
"When we're present in our lives, we can create our lives."
Q: What habits or behaviors could prevent us from becoming the person we envision, and how can we overcome them?
A: Judgment. It is the biggest killer of possibilities on this planet. Judgment of others and, most importantly, judgment of yourself. When you notice yourself doing self-judgment, ask yourself: "Who does this belong to? Is this mine? Or am I just aware of it?" And if it lightens up at all, it's not yours and returns it to whoever it came from.
Perfection is the highest form of judgment. Practice self-compassion and be your biggest cheerleader. If you are going to be true to yourself, you have to be willing to be you and be willing to disappoint people. When you are connected with you, your life becomes easier, you become happier, and become an invitation for others to be themselves.
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Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images
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Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Pam Grier Thought She Would Be A Camera Operator, 55 Years Later She's Still Stealing The Show On-Screen
The name Pam Grier has rang bells in the entertainment for over five decades. Her iconic name is undeniably recognizable in any room from here to Tokyo. The beloved Foxy Brown is a timeless treasure that turned 50 this year. Fast forward to the present and Pam is still captivating audiences with her latest role as Athena in Them: The Scare, but would you believe me if I told you it all happened by chance?
(L-R) Pam Grier, Joshua J. Williams, Deborah Ayorinde and Luke James attend a special Los Angeles screening of 'Them: The Scare'Michael Tullberg/Getty Images
Pam Grier started her career in her early 20s after moving to Los Angeles to work for a production company as a switchboard operator in the late 1960s. That gig didn't last long, as she was discovered and cast in her first film four years later in 1971's The Big Doll House. Pam reflected on her early beginnings, telling xoNecole in an exclusive interview that she actually never sought to be an actor. "When I started out, I was a novice—a student. I had no intention of becoming an actor," she explained. "I was working five jobs, living in a garage. I thought I'd be a camera person. Never an actor because I was in fear." Pam continued, "I had fear of emotion. Fear of being attacked, fear of fighting, fear of being injured or injuring someone else. I had a lot of issues I had to grow into and grow out of."
"When I started out, I was a novice—a student. I had no intention of becoming an actor. I was working five jobs, living in a garage. I thought I'd be a camera person."
She quickly learned that the fear was only holding her back and after her on-screen debut—her career quickly took off. The following year, in 1972, she appeared in four films and the success continued through 1973 when she landed one of her most popular films to date, Scream Blacula Scream. Looking back, it's safe to say Pam Grier is one of the originators of the Black horror film genre. "To see from 50 years ago to now, the technology and the innovation—and the IN YO FACE action, stories, and narratives," she recalled. "Back then you had to prepare your audience to see a genre of horror and you had to build your audience to see a woman doing martial arts."
Actress Pam Grier in 'Scream, Blacula, Scream.'Herbert Dorfman/Corbis via Getty Images
In 1974, she landed the role of Foxy Brown and the rest is history.
According to Pam, the early years had a big impact on her trajectory and taught her many valuable lessons including that fortune is on the other side of fear. Pam's epiphany is one that she stills holds close to her heart and it even partly inspired her latest character in some ways. "Athena in many ways encompasses a lot of the characters I've portrayed and [my] experiences because in theater and in this particular body of work—the first cut is the deepest. Take 1, that's it. There's no more you're done. You did it. You got there."
It is amazing to witness her iconic talent on-screen as Athena. It's had to believe that Pam Grier will celebrate her 75th birthday later this month. She has taught us many things as a Black woman with an unapologetic presence on-screen through generations and this should be yet another lesson: Fear just might be holding you back from your destiny!
Watch the full interview below.
Pam Grier Thought She Would Be A Camera Operator, 55 Years Later She's Still Stealing the Showyoutu.be
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Featured image by Michael Tullberg/Getty Images