I believe in the power of manifestation, where your thoughts and your energy can create your reality. I've seen how the law of attraction can positively influence your dreams, hopes, and wishes. Even more, the beauty of seeing things change by aligning yourself with the possibilities.
There have many moments in my life where I've manifested trips, gifts, and even love. However, I've experienced a profound transformation in my career in the last three years by understanding that I am worthy of receiving my "yes". Here's the thing, it wasn't easy at times, honestly, sometimes it was painful. Manifesting required me to trust the process of life, by being flexible, and less resistant to change. Sometimes those are the lessons we must learn to have a breakthrough.
- In 2017, I was laid off from my marketing job. There were signs, but I ignored them. I was too focused on pursuing my passions outside of work. This forced me to reconcile with my choices, including not being diligent about finding a permanent position. The harsh reality caused me to fall out ofgratitude. My fears slowly started to eat away at me, and I invited them to the dinner table when I didn't have the heart to keep them away.
- I applied to over 100 hundred jobs; I received only 10% of the interviews. All of the positions I thought were perfect for me did not work out. I took it personally.
- After months of searching for a job, I found a position in my field of communications. The salary was liveable with an hour-commute. Two months into the job, I was told I lacked integrity and common sense, because I wrote for a popular website offering women of color advice. Additionally, I had used my LinkedIn profile for my endeavors, and I didn't change my job title quickly enough. There was no first offense, just an ultimatum, and I quit under duress.
I continued to attract low-paying, low-vibrational positions because, at that time, I was only looking for positions that paid the bills.
That was my issue––putting money and feelings of a lack of abundance over finding meaningful work. Your dream career is the kind of work that makes your energy levels soar and gives you hope for great success. None of my previous positions made me feel this way. That's when I decided it was time to get clear on what I wanted.
By clearing the path to receive my blessings, I had finally landed my dream position at a prestigious university that came with a host of supportive colleagues. Just two years prior, I was Ubering in that same community, picking up researchers, professors, and students.
So, how did I do it?
Write Down Your Hopes, Dreams, and Wishes
I wrote down everything my heart desired, from a salary to the work environment. I had enough experience with incompetent supervisors, so I asked the universe to provide me with leaders that focused on the personal growth of their team.
Align Your Vision With Action
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Aligning with my goals included updating my resume, expanding my network, and telling people what I wanted. Yes, that's right; I asked for what I wanted. Because I was doing the work, my network showed up for me as references and as cheerleaders. When manifesting, you must take action and move towards your desire. Once you start tackling something, it becomes more manageable, and it's easier to know what the next action is to take.
Empower Yourself
As you move work towards your passions, you must continue to reaffirm positivity, because you are what you think. Staying in alignment with my goals required me to reframe my current situation with love, by giving myself grace, and taking stock of every opportunity, big or small. Focusing on what went right granted me peace, resilience, and the ability to fight and withstand adversity.
Visualize the Possibilities
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It's not enough to write your visions; you must visualize the possibilities too. Some people find vision boards helpful: a blank canvas to post images, quotes, affirmations, and drawings of anything you want to create in your life. Creating a vision board is a fun, tangible, and powerful way to say "yes please" to the abundance you'd like to receive (and deserve) in your life. Having a vision board next to my bed allowed me to come in contact with my dreams daily. The "perfect timing" was orchestrated to give me a boost of confidence when I needed it most.
Sometimes manifesting your dream career doesn't come neatly wrapped with a pretty bow. While it may take some time, the reward will pay in dividends. Trust the process.
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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