When you're standing at the edge of a cliff, staring down into a valley at the ground that will not so gracefully catch you if you fail, the last thing you may want to do is jump. But if you're someone who's been struggling to take a leap of faith, don't sweat it, sis. In fact, some of your biggest blessings can come from being unwillingly pushed into your power.
Meet Dr. Lauren Elise, an Atlanta-based entrepreneur who can bump Gucci Mane in the streets and code switch like a mug in a Monday morning boardroom meeting.
The Set-Up
Shot by @quturemedia
After earning her bachelor's from Middle Tennessee State University, her master's from Belmont, and her doctorate from Argosy Atlanta, Lauren is one social media doctor with credentials, and you should put some respect on all three of them. She told xoNecole, "No matter if I do have a doctorate degree, I still can rap Gucci Mane lyrics. I still stay true to myself and I think a lot of times people are drawn into authenticity and that they're also drawn into a little bit of transparency."
In the past, Lauren says that she never really had an entrepreneur's mindset, but today she spends most of her time putting other budding CEOs on game with her consulting business, The Social Media Doctor, running her non-profit organization Adjust Your Crown Mentoring, and getting flewed out to a number of paid speaking engagements around the country. So far, she's secured partnerships with Micheal Kors, and given away a number of scholarships to women in need, and according to Lauren, she's just getting started.
While this 32-year-old CEO may be killing the entrepreneurial game now, things weren't always this way. In 2016, less than four years after moving to Atlanta to forge a new career path, Lauren was hit with a major bombshell that would permanently alter the trajectory of her future. In a shocking announcement from her employer of four years, she learned that she would now be forced to look for a new place of work.
The Breakdown
The news sent the multimedia maven's life into a tailspin and although the company had given her a hefty severance package upon her dismissal, Lauren was still left without the security and stability that was previously offered by her 9 to 5.
Along with dealing with the emotional weight of being hundreds of miles away from home, Lauren also had to consider the residual effect that her latest career transition would have on her financial obligations. She explained, "I have a whole mortgage. I bought a house in 2014, so I was just like whoa. That was a big shocker, to go from having a job for four years to them saying, 'Oh, here are the options to get severance.' And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up."
Feeling alone in a new city and lost without her former professional title, Lauren felt as though her sky was falling and there was nothing that she could do to stop it. "I was so distraught, like, oh my goodness, what am I gonna do? I didn't even want to leave the house."
Soon after, Lauren found work at a significantly smaller company where she continued to polish her skills in social media management, but still didn't quite feel fulfilled. In 2018, the one-day entrepreneur caught a serious case of deja vu when, for a second time, she was let go from her job and tasked with starting a new career journey from scratch. But two years later, hearing that news hit different for the would-be entrepreneur because this time around, she had a secret weapon: insight.
The Breakthrough
Shot by @quturemedia
Throughout her experience, the business owner said that there is one quote that has proven to be law: "'Sometimes God gives you the same test because you didn't pass the first time.' I saw it on my timeline three times and it was like, that's my sign. I literally didn't pass the first time, here's another opportunity. That time around honey, I didn't stress."
Even though her severance package was non-existent and her plan was even more unplanned than the first time she was let go, Lauren said that since she had already started her own business a year prior, her vision was clearer than ever before. "In my mind, I was already ready to go because it wasn't what it was in the beginning. It changed. It wasn't fun. It was stressful. It was hostile. So when that happened it was like, 'Oh, thank you.'"
It was then that Lauren decided to become the master of her destiny and took on the task of running The Social Media Doctor full-time because when you're the boss, the only one who can stop your hustle is you.
"It basically just changed my mindset on businesses and how they operate. Like they have the last say so. They can make whatever decision, and you just have to accept it. You can't get so bent out of shape because that was your time ending there."
Lessons Learned
Like any toxic relationship, failed career decisions don't always start out that way. When your part-time hustle that was meant to fund your dreams turns into a full-time burden that can only pay the bills, it's easy to forget that you deserve better.
Sometimes it takes God pushing us out of a situation to realize that we were never meant to be there in the first place, and in Lauren's mind, being laid off was one of the best things that could have happened to her because it was the first real step into the destiny she deserves.
"Some people are forced into some of their blessings because they probably didn't want to willingly do it. But if you don't, you'll eventually be forced. Inevitably, you're going to go willingly or you are going to be pushed."
There's nobody who can do you, like you, and Lauren is a testament of the glory that comes when you capitalize on your weakest moments instead of criticizing yourself for them.
Learn more about Lauren and her clever endeavors by following her on Instagram @dr.laurenelise and get your social media all the way together @TheSocialMediaDr!
Featured image by @lavishpixels.
RELATED
Now, I’ll be honest: as an avid TV-lover, I was well-prepared to hop on Zoom and jump into all the chatter around Bel-Air and her characters’ decisions. But after listening to her new EP Identity Crisis, I knew there was a lot more to talk about as well. During this exclusive conversation with xoNecole, Jazlyn Martin delved into the challenging journey she’s faced surrounding her identity, newfound fame, and family influence, and how it all plays a part in her art. Check it out!
xoNecole: So I know that your father is in the entertainment world, but when did you realize you shared the same passion?
Jazlyn Martin: I think it was very early on. I was a child who was full of attitude and fearlessness that would go after anything I wanted. I believe seeing my dad pursue music made me realize it was possible. I just had this hunger and fire, and my parents consciously fed and nurtured that - they are always all super supportive of whatever I do. So very, very early on, I was like, I'm meant to do this. And I just was like, I'm a star, and I know I'm a star.
xoN: Actually, let's talk about your family. What are some of your most important values, and how have your family and heritage played a part in shaping those values?
Jazlyn: I mean, my mom is like an angel; she's so graceful and kind, and I've had to work hard to get there. When I was young, I was very abrasive, headstrong, and stubborn. Whereas my mom gives an immense amount of grace in the way she carries herself. I had to learn that.
I think being strong is something I’ve always had. My parents always joke that they don't know where my personality came from. Because my dad is shy and timid and my mom is kind, and I'm a fireball. But my Dad always asked the important industry questions like, “Why do you want to do this?” And that instilled some purpose into me. It really carried me to keep going because it's so easy to be discouraged in this field, but that drive has helped me push through all of the challenges.
xoN: I bet. I have such a respect for actors and the way you all navigate the industry. Speaking of, let’s dig into “Bel-Air.” Were you a fan of the show? Did you have to go back and watch the episodes?
Jazlyn: So I actually did watch the show which is crazy because sometimes I don’t. I saw it was a reboot and was like, ‘Oh no, not another one.’ But I watched the first three episodes, realized how good it was, and ended up watching the whole season. I became a fan, and then a few months later, I booked the role!
I think the imagination is such a beautiful and powerful tool, and I feel like if you create something in your mind, it happens. It's a crazy thing, but I really just created Jackie's world - the house she grew up in, her parents leaving her, and everything. I created why she fell in love with dance. I really came at it from a human approach. If I see it, then the audience can see it.
xoN: Yeah, background plays into so much of how we deal with things, how we interact with people, and everything. And I feel like Jackie gets a lot of backlash. Like, we’ve all had a “Jackie Moment” to be real.
Jazlyn: She gets so much backlash! I just encourage people to give her grace and see the God in her because I do think she tells a lot of Black and brown girls' stories. People project on her, saying she’s too ratchet or hood, and I’m like does that mean she’s not loveable?
We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her. Because she’s helped me extend empathy to people I don't necessarily want to or don't think deserve to have it. But she's 17, she's figuring it out, and she doesn't have parents. Like, that's such a huge factor.
"We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her."
xoN: You mentioned how your character is viewed, which digs a bit into identity. So I want to talk a little bit about some of the emotional songs on your EP “Identity Crisis.” What inspired the track “Perfect?”
Jazlyn: When I was creating “Perfect,” I already had the EP title. So I kind of mapped out, like, the different conflicts I had in my head and categorized them into seven songs, and so one of my identity crises was being perfect. Because I feel like a lot of men tend to put women on pedestals. They're expected to be perfect - especially when you’re in the limelight. You know, you can't slip up. You can't say the wrong thing. Cancel culture is such a huge thing. And I just wanted to encourage people to give people grace to be themselves because that's not an easy thing to do.
I just wanted to take down this facade that I’m perfect because I never pretended to be. I never wanted to be. I think that's something people have placed on me, that I have it all figured out, I think I just carry it well, but that doesn't mean it's not heavy. I just wanted to be very vulnerable and honest. I think people think “perfect” is a compliment, but I think it's a cage because it doesn't allow room for error. It doesn't allow for you to be human and mess up and fail and take risks. So I just wanted to encourage grace.
xoN: Do you ever feel like you went through an identity crisis?
Jazlyn: I go through one constantly. Growing up, I didn't really have one. But I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just “other.” That was an identity crisis in itself.
Also, being introduced to a level of fame has been interesting, too. I think we all go through identity crises all the time because we’re evolving and changing. It’s beautiful, but it’s also scary; you see yourself this one way, and then something happens, and there’s a shift. So yeah, I think it’s something we all go through but no one talks about.
"I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just 'other.'"
xoN: I love that. And I know Hispanic Heritage Month is coming up, and you'll be speaking at the New York Latino Film Festival. Talk to me about what that moment means to you and what you hope to bring to the event. *Editor’s note: The interview was conducted before Hispanic Heritage Month began.
Jazlyn: I’m bringing some Afro-Latino-ness! I always grew up seeing Latinos being represented in a very specific way—very Spanish, not very Indigenous looking. So I'm really excited to bring the Black experience, with the Latino experience, to the stage because that's something a lot of people don't know exists.
People are always like, “Are you Black or Latina?” Well, I'm both! We were just dropped off in different parts. I’m excited to speak on that and highlight how prevalent anti-Blackness is within Latino communities. A lot of Afro-Latinos have faced an identity crisis because of it, including myself. It sometimes feels like you’re supposed to hate the other half of who you are.
For me, I held onto that little Black girl inside. I refused to let her go. And that’s what I want to represent when I speak—resilience and acceptance of our full selves. I’m also looking forward to meeting fellow Latino people, especially Afro-Latinos, and sharing our stories. It’s not a narrative that gets much attention, and I’m excited to represent.
xoN: I’m excited for you! Finally, with all the praise and recognition you’re receiving now, what has it been like to transition from working in music, dance, and acting to now being in the spotlight? How have you embraced this new level of fame?
Jazlyn: Um, it's overwhelming. I think that's the best word. Sometimes, I'm joyful, because I'm giving back to the community. People resonate with Jackie's stories and see themselves in her, which I think is the biggest compliment to me. But then sometimes, you know, I feel sad because I'm like, ‘Damn, I'm not doing enough,’ like I should be doing more. It's crazy, the industry is so fast-paced that you don't really try to celebrate wins. It's just a transition, an identity crisis of the like.
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