Something that I’ve had for, basically what seems like forever, is a fungal sensitivity. This means that I have to stay on top of things that could trigger health-related issues like a yeast infection or a health condition known as tinea versicolor (you can read more about it here). One way that I do that is by being hypervigilant when it comes to making sure that my vagina stays at a healthy pH level (check out “Sis, This Is How To Keep Your Vagina's pH Balanced”). One way that I accomplish that particular goal is by avoiding things that I know will, quite frankly, piss my vagina off.
It really is fascinating that, with as much of a powerhouse as our vaginas are, they can still be somewhat fragile as it relates to what needs to be done in order to keep them healthy and happy. And since very few things are more annoying than vaginal itching, burning, or shifts in discharge, I’m going to share 15 things that you should take special note of — if you want to keep your own vagina from getting super upset with you.
1. Fragranced (or Antibacterial) Body Wash
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When it comes to keeping your va-jay-jay clean (check out “Are You Washing Your Vagina Correctly? You Sure?”), it’s first important to remember that your actual vagina (the muscular inner tube that connects your vulva to your cervix) doesn’t need your help; it’s self-cleaning. This means if something smells strange or there’s a lot of uncomfortable discharge going out, douching is not what needs to be done…going to see a medical professional is what your move should be.
As far as your vulva (the outer part of your vagina) goes, while plain water can get the (cleaning) job done, if you would prefer to go a few steps up from that, make sure that you go with all-natural ingredients (check out “Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes”) and that you avoid heavy fragrances or even antibacterial soaps.
No matter how much those types of commercial brands may boast about keeping your vagina “extra clean,” more times than not, all they’re going to do is irritate your vulva and remove “good” bacteria from your vagina in the process.
2. An Unhealthy Gut
Did you know that somewhere around 80 percent of your immune system is in your gut? This is one reason to be conscious of your diet and to add a probiotic to your system. Not only will your immunity thank you for it, but so will your vagina. That’s because when your gut isn’t in tip-top shape, that can trigger gut inflammation which could cause “bad” bacteria to wreak total havoc in your gut and your vagina as the bacteria travels down to it. So, if your gut has never really been a priority to you before, there’s no time like the present to change that…right?
3. Baby Wipes
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If nothing else ends up being your “something new” in this article, this very well may be. Did you know that you actually SHOULD NOT use wipes while going to the bathroom? According to a rectal surgeon, things like baby wipes can actually get you “too clean” in the sense that they can strip away some of the good bacteria that your body needs. As a result, constant use of them can trigger a yeast infection. Plus, if you have human papillomavirus (HPV), the wipes can actually spread warts. Kind of mind-blowing. Mind-blowing, indeed.
4. Not Cleaning Out Your Clitoral Hood
I will always find it to be hella ironic that while a lot of women turn their nose up at a man’s foreskin (“uncut men” tend to give more sexual pleasure than cut ones, by the way), it’s like they forget (or maybe they don’t even know) that their clitoral hood is also a form of foreskin: it’s skin that covers up and protects their clitoris (check out “7 Reasons You Should TOTALLY Be In Love With Your Clitoral Hood”). With that said, although clitoral hoods probably get as much hygienic attention as belly buttons do, it is a good idea to be intentional about cleaning yours out at least once a month.
Things like panty lint, pubic hair, and dried discharge can get caught up in there, and when that happens, it could lead to discomfort or irritation. To get it right, all you need to do is put some olive oil on a Q-tip, gently pull back your hood, and rub underneath it. Problem solved.
5. Fast Food
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Sure, fast food is convenient. Still, when you get a chance, read “Why You Should Consider Leaving Fast Food Alone.” It’s got a few reminders in there for why we should actually be leery about an entire meal costing less than eight bucks (give or take a couple of dollars). When it comes to your vagina, foods that are high in fat, are heavily processed or fried aren’t good for “her” because they can cause bad bacteria to overtake the good bacteria that’s in there — and that could trigger bacterial vaginosis or other forms of vaginal irritation. Does this mean that you can never have a burger? Eh. The bigger takeaway is enjoying a combo a couple of times a week, every week, probably isn’t the best idea.
6. Dairy
Although I’ve never been a big milk drinker, what I will do is tear some cheese and ice cream up. I will admit that, the older I get, the heavier I feel whenever I have more than a couple of slices of pizza or scoops of ice cream in one setting — and I know that it’s because dairy isn’t the best for me…me, or my vagina. Yep, something else that can trigger your vagina is dairy. One reason is that the hormones in it can throw off your own natural hormonal balance.
When this happens, it can block estrogen from creating the mucosal lining needed to keep your vagina from experiencing certain types of infections. So, while the thought of absolutely no dairy may not be for you (hey, I get it), at least try and consume it in extreme moderation.
7. Condoms
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Although latex allergies are a very real thing, reportedly, between 1-5 percent of the population actually have one. And even if you happen to fall within this small number, there are quite a few alternatives to latex condoms these days, including polyurethane and polyisoprene ones (and let’s not forget the female condom) — so there really is no excuse to go without using one.
So, why is it that some condoms can irritate the vagina even if you’re not allergic to what it’s made out of? Charge it to either the spermicide (which may be too strong for your vagina) or the need for lubrication (to reduce friction). The thing to remember here is not to go without condoms; just be more thoughtful about what your vagina needs when purchasing them.
8. Dirty Fingers or Fingernails
Business Insider once published an article stating that you can easily have anywhere from “100,000 to a few million germs” on your hands at any given moment (eww). Now add to that the fact that your fingernails tend to hold those same germs along with the type of bacteria that can make you vomit or get the runs (especially if you wear nail tips) and the moral to the story is this: whether your partner plans on putting his fingers in your vagina or y’all have some mutual masturbation plans going on, washing hands and using a fingernail file to get any reachable “gunk” out is most definitely a good idea. So is doing this before inserting a tampon or menstrual cup because the less bad bacteria that gets into your vagina, the better.
9. New Sperm
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It’s not uncommon for some women to go through a season of abstinence, return to sex and end up with some sort of vaginal infection. Actually, a similar thing can happen if you start sleeping with someone new (unprotected) as well. That’s because, while sperm/semen is usually alkaline, your vagina is acidic. This means that your partner’s fluids can throw your vagina’s pH way off until it adjusts to it. Hmph. Another reason to be pro-condom usage, if you ask me.
10. A “Wet” Penis
If you’re out here having unprotected sex, please make sure that your partner “wipes his Willy” well before engaging in intercourse with you because another thing that can irritate your vagina is urine. Since it contains a pretty high amount of acid, when his urine comes into contact with your vagina or your vulva, it can lead to burning, itching, and even something known as vulvar contact dermatitis. Honestly, even your own urine can do these things, which is why it’s so important to wipe thoroughly and to clean your vaginal region consistently.
11. An Alcohol-Filled Mouth
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Aside from the fact that consuming alcohol increases your chances of having bacterial vaginosis (who knew?!) and can also make it harder to naturally lubricate and/or climax, you might want to pay attention to how much liquor is in your partner’s mouth before he attempts to go down on you.
Back when vodka tampons were all the rage (chile), some warnings were sent out about them due to the fact that alcohol is highly acidic and can actually damage the mucous membranes of your vagina if you’re not careful. So, if you’ve ever had a super drunken night, some pretty good sex (which included oral sex), and then ended up with a case of vaginitis or yeast infection — the dranks could very well be why.
12. Synthetic Fibers
Like every other part of your body, your vagina needs to breathe — and that’s hard to do when you’re wearing synthetic fibers like polyester, nylon, and spandex. That’s why you should immediately remove these types of fabrics after working out; otherwise, all of the sweat could cause bacteria to take over. By the way, if you’re wondering what some workout material alternatives are, moisture-wicking cotton, bamboo fiber, and poly-dri are far better options.
13. Thongs. Sometimes.
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Thongs are something that I’m gonna let y’all have. Although I get the sexiness factor that they bring, I’ve personally never found them to be comfortable (at all). Plus, my vagina doesn’t seem to enjoy them very much either. That makes sense when you factor in that they can cause a lot of friction, make it hard for your va-jay-jay to breathe, and they can also make it easier for infections to spread up into your vaginal area. Listen, thongs aren’t the devil. All I’m saying is, in the pursuit of not pissing your vagina off, when it comes to using them, specifically, it’s probably best to take a “less is more” approach.
14. Polyester or Rayon Sheets
Some of the cheapest — meaning most economical — bedsheets around are ones that are made out of polyester and/or rayon. Come to think of it (because I’ve owned a few sets of them in my lifetime), they are actually pretty comfortable, too. Problem is, both fabrics can trap moisture, and since our bodies tend to change temperatures throughout the night, you don’t want to get all sweaty and create a super moisture-filled environment for the not-so-good bacteria to thrive. Yeah, organic cotton sheets (or even bamboo ones) are always gonna be your better bet.
15. An Unsterilized Menstrual Cup
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One of the best things to ever happen to my life (at least as far as my period is concerned) is a menstrual cup. It’s comfortable. If you’re not a heavy bleeder, you can put it in for the day and almost forget that you’re even on your cycle. And, because you can use it over and over again, it’s good for the environment too. Just make sure that you sterilize it by boiling it after each and every cycle ends. Simply running it under some hot water is not good enough if you want to remove all of what remained from your period before — germs that could definitely piss your vagina off.
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There you have it, y’all: 15 things that our vaginas would prefer us not to do (or do often). So, if you want you and your vagina to get along, please take heed to each and every one because, when you take good care of her, she definitely strives to take stellar care of you. Amen? Amen.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
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In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
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With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
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For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
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