
Astrological Self-Care: What Black Women Need Right Now, According To The Stars

The political environment Black women in America are faced to live in at this time has taught us how important it is to give back to ourselves. When we feel pushed up against a wall, we ask ourselves what we have left to give, and oftentimes, what we have left to give needs to go to us. It feels like in society we take a few steps forward, just to take ten steps back, and this push and pull can be detrimental to our wellbeing.
When we take a look at what it feels like to be dismissed or discouraged like many of us are feeling now, this energy is a shock to our system. We must find ways to feel whole, nourished, and capable, no matter who else wants that to happen for us.
By taking care of ourselves during these uneasy or uncertain times, we build a foundation for not only strength but for love. We tell ourselves that we are worthy of a break or a new beginning and that we are more than worthy of experiencing everything we want in this life. If you are feeling a lack of energy or depleted, then rest is your medicine right now. If a light has been struck within you, motivating you to create change or to go after your dreams, use this as a fire to get you started. Don’t let anyone make you doubt your magic when you carry the whole world in your hands.
This is why so many Black women lean towards their spirituality or Astrology in these turbulent times. We know there are places to go even when we feel shut out, and that our connection to the universe, or God, is ever present in these trying times. We go to the places we know will heal, and we continue to build the parts of us the world has so often tried to take away.
When we need a little encouragement, we can connect to our intuition and the guidance of our soul, and ask the stars for a message. Read below for a message for your sign right now.
If you are an Aries...
Take some time to see where in your life you are currently experiencing abundance, or where you would like to. Look at the full picture at this time, and notice where some culminations have ended up being a positive change of pace for you. You are being reminded that there is nothing in this life that you can’t have and that you are meant to experience major blessings in this lifetime.
This is a good time to manage your finances wisely, look for new working opportunities, and advocate for yourself and your financial desires in the workplace. The work you do is meant to be acknowledged, supported, and paid accordingly, Aries.
If you are a Taurus...
The words we tell ourselves are the most significant words we have to live with. Right now, write a list of things you love and admire about yourself. Make post-it notes and put these words around your house in areas you know you will pass by often. It’s time to remember who you are and how loved you have always been. When you can take the time to look within and ask yourself what you really need right now, oftentimes it’s just a few kind words or a reminder of the significance of who you are.
If you are a Gemini...
It’s time to look at your goals, professional world, and financial intentions, and see if you are living the life you dream of here. What goals have you had for a long time and have pushed to the side due to timing or fear? This is the time to step into your inner knowing and power, to own your skills and work ethic, and to ask for what you need. You are experiencing an inner awakening that’s changing the way you look at your work life, what you really want to do here, and who you want to surround yourself with in this environment.
If you are a Cancer...
This time is reminding you that it’s okay to let go of what isn’t working for you. If you have felt like you have been putting more effort into things than what you are getting in return, it’s time to reevaluate where you are focusing your energy. Take some space to give yourself more of the nourishment and energy you so often give to others, and fill up your own cup right now, Cancer.
You take on a lot more than most, especially in the working environment as you always want to be someone others can lean on. Right now, however, it’s time to put your efforts into the things you want for yourself rather than what others want from you.
If you are a Leo...
Leo, you are meant to shine. There is not much that can dim your light because you know this truth. The more you can tap into your inner power right now and remember who you are, the more you can overcome and succeed. You are meant for big things in this lifetime and it’s time to remember your power. Think about your strengths and where you excel more than most. Remember that the unique gifts you were born with are meant for you for a reason, and shine, shine, shine, Leo!
If you are a Virgo...
You are a wise soul, Virgo, but you may not always trust this inner knowing. Your guidance at this time is to listen to your intuition more. If you are around certain people or environments that don’t feel right or supportive to you, trust that instinct and move away towards new energy. The more you can check in with yourself and listen to what your intuition is telling you, the more you can be in safer environments that don’t make you feel less than or out of place. You are being asked to protect your energy more and to only do the things you feel 100% about doing.
If you are a Libra...
Everyone deserves a new beginning, and that includes you, Libra. This time in your life is about taking a leap of faith in yourself. Sometimes things are worth taking a risk on, and you are looking at your personal goals right now and seeing what needs to be brought forth. Write a list of your current goals and intentions, and then write down concrete plans or strategies to see them through. A new beginning is meant for you right now, but you need to be the one to take that first step. Remember your confidence and your courage, and go after your dreams, Libra.
If you are a Scorpio...
Having more safe spaces to go to and nourish in would do your soul wonders right now. You need more stable foundations for your dreams to come to fruition, and there are people who will support you in making this happen. You deserve to relax, to rest, and to take more time out to nourish your inner world, and that is what is being asked of you now. Spend time with the people who provide you a safe space to just be, and focus on your long-term goals. Where do you see yourself and your life five years from now, and what can you do right now to feel a little bit more secure in the process?
If you are a Sagittarius...
It’s never too late to learn something new, and you are in a space of development and clarity right now, Sag. This is a good time to learn a new skill, develop your knowledge, and work on the things that hold importance for you. This time in your life is about getting focused and putting the effort in to back your intentions. You are someone who is always on the go and always focused on the bigger picture, but life is asking you to buckle down, focus on the details, and get started on that thing that you’ve always wanted to do. Who knows where your creativity, knowledge, and dedication will take you right now? Probably somewhere magical.
If you are a Capricorn...
Remember how loved you are, Capricorn. Nobody can take away the love you have for yourself and no one can take away your ability to love, and you are being reminded of the power of your heart. This is a good time to develop nourishing and stable relationships in your life and to focus more of your energy here. Build a strong community and support system in your life so that your heart doesn’t feel misunderstood or out of place. There are people who resonate with you and your energy, and it’s time to find those people or connect more with the ones you already know.
If you are an Aquarius...
You need a break right now, Aquarius. You are someone who is very connected to what is happening to the collective, and you are more in tune with this energy than most. Therefore, when things are feeling especially chaotic, this can be detrimental to your health and well-being. You need some space right now to let things come to fruition without you forcing them to. You need time to regain your strength and your energy, and to let things play out for you, trusting that they will be for your benefit. Go on a vacation and allow yourself to take a pause right now, and for time to do its thing.
If you are a Pisces...
This time in your life right now is about asking yourself what you truly want. New options are coming into clear view for you, and you are taking your challenges and turning them into opportunities. You are a powerful manifester, Pisces, and it’s time to start manifesting the intentions you dream of and are contemplating right now. There are a lot of things up in the air for you, but you have the power to turn them into your concrete reality. Ask yourself the tough questions, then prepare your heart to walk into a new door.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Getty Images
Tayler Barakat is a Mystic who has studied Astrology for over a decade. She does intuitive astrology and tarot readings for people all over the world, and her work focuses on healing and empowering individuals. Follow her on Instagram @taylerbarakat_ and check out her website www.listentothevirgo.com.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
My personal relationship with birth control pills is a bit of an odd one. Back when I first became sexually active (I started having sex with my first boyfriend a couple of months shy of 19), I took them for a couple of months, didn’t like how they made me feel, and so I quit using them altogether (and got pregnant almost immediately after). The rest of my adult life, I stayed off of the pill and pretty much only used condoms (and even then, not consistently — SMDH).
And yet here I am, now, all these years later, back on them again: surprise, surprise.
These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
Okay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
____
Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Unsplash