

I’m telling you, as someone who has been writing on sex for well over two decades at this point, so long as you’re interested in the topic, you will always — and I do mean ALWAYS — learn something new. Take multiple orgasms, for example. Did you know that there is a difference betweenmultiples and stacked ones? While multiple orgasms are about experiencing more than one climax within a short period of time, a stacked orgasm is like well, it’s a lot like edging. The reason why I say that is because stacked orgasms focus on getting someone to the brink of an orgasm, then pausing so that when they return to that same place of stimulation, their orgasms will be just that much more pleasurable.
Anyway, although it’s pretty true that whenever the topic of multiple orgasms comes up, it usually centers around women, the reality is that men are able to have them as well. Without much effort?Reportedly, less than 10 percent of guys in their 20s and less than seven percent of them over 30 can. For the record, what qualifies are guys who can naturally orgasm 2-4 times within an under two-minute timeframe. Yes, the percentile is low; that’s the bad news.
The good news is there are some hacks that can help those who don’t fall into the “automatically blessed in this way” category to become multi-orgasmic too. I’ve done some research and found five things that your man can do prior to sex to make having more than one orgasm easier for him along with five things that you can do during sex that can really take achieving the goal to another level.
Let’s dig in.
1. What He Should Do: Up His Testosterone
A main hormone contributor to orgasms is testosterone. So, it makes all the sense in the world that in order for a man to experience more of them, his testosterone levels would need to be at a peak level.Some natural ways to encourage your man to get his levels to where they need to be is to remind him to exercise at least three times a week, to get some time in the sun (and/or take a vitamin D supplement), to consume alcohol in moderation, to keep his stress levels to a minimum and to avoid taking in too many phytoestrogens (which is plant-based estrogen);some of those foods would include soy, dairy, sunflower seeds, grapes, collard greens (I know, right?) and beer.
2. What He Should Do: Do Some Kegels
Whenever the topic of Kegels comes up, it’s also usually in the context of women strengthening their pelvic floor in order to prevent/improve incontinence and make sex more pleasurable. However, did you know that men can benefit from a form of this type of exercise too? When men learn how toidentify and then strengthen their own pelvic floor muscles, it can give their genital region a lot more self-control.As a direct result, it can reduce symptoms related to erectile dysfunction, and premature ejaculation and it can potentially intensify their orgasms as well.
One way that a man can do a simple Kegel is by starting and stopping his urine streaming whenever he’s using the bathroom. Some other forms of male Kegel exercises can be foundhere andhere.
3. What He Should Do: Learn About Non-Ejaculatory Orgasms
The “real ones” can rap damn near every lyric of Salt-N-Pepa’s “Whatta Man” (featuring En Vogue) from back in the day. In it, there are a couple of lines that say, “He takes his time and does everything right/Knocks me out with one shot for the rest of the night.” I mean, while that’s cool ‘n all (I guess — LOL), if you want a multi-orgasmic man, he’s gonna need to be able to accomplish more than that, chile.
And since once a man ejaculates, that’s where the refractory period (which is basically the period of time between when someone orgasms and is sexually responsive enough to be able to orgasm again), in order for a guy to be able to have several orgasms at one time more easily, NOT EJACULATING should be the goal.
This is where non-ejaculatory orgasms come in.
They are all about a man learning how to enjoy the sensation of an orgasm without ejaculating in the process. Your partner can learn more about how to achieve those by reading Men’s Health’s article here.
4. What He Should Do: Master Belly Breathing
You’d be hard-pressed to read an article on how to have powerful or multiple orgasms without improving one’s breathing techniques not coming up in it. That’s because deep breathing helps to relax the body — and the more relaxed a person is, the easier it is for them to climax. That said, a great breathing technique for men is called belly breathing (ordiaphragmatic breathing); it’s all about getting on your back, putting one hand on the upper part of your chest while the other rests right below your rib cage.
As you take air in through your nose, focus on it coming from your lower belly area. If you do this, while the hand that is on your chest remains in the same spot, the one on your stomach should rise. As you exhale, tighten your abdominal muscles and then repeat. If you and your partner implement this as a form of foreplay prior to sex andyou use your hands to caress his chest as he focuses on his belly and breathing, it can be a gentle form of edging that can make achieving multiple orgasms for him easier once you start to engage in actual intercourse.
5. What He Should Do: Get More Rest
When you get a chance, check out the article that I penned for the platform a few years back entitled, “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand.” For now, I’ll just say that if your partner is sleep-deprived, that will make it challenging for him to have one orgasm, let alone several in a row. Two reasons whysleep deprivation is so problematic is because it can throw off hormones, increase stress, and heighten a man’s chances of experiencing erectile dysfunction. So, if your partner isn’t getting between 6-8 hours of rest on a pretty consistent basis, that is something else that can make having a multiple orgasm hella challenging.
Now let’s get into some things that you can do to help him in this area of sexual pleasure and satisfaction…
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What You Should Do: Massage His Scrotum
The reason why it’s so painful for a man to be hit “in the balls” (which means in his scrotum which is where his testicles are) is because that is a place that houses many nerve endings which makes it a highly sensitive place. Sexually,that’s a good thing because not only is it a powerful erogenous zone, but it can also boost a man’s chances of ejaculating. When it comes to multiple orgasms, you can gently knead them like dough while you’re giving him oral sex (because who said that multiple orgasms only had to come via intercourse?)
Or say that you’re in the missionary position; right as he’s about to ejaculate (ask him if he’s someone who doesn’t “announce it" in some way on his own), gently tug on his scrotum or roll his testicles in the palm of one of your hands as if it were a pair of dice. Between the sensation of already climaxing coupled with the feeling of his scrotum being erotically touched can be enough for him to have more than one orgasm — whether he was prepared to have one or not!
What You Should Do: Stimulate His Nipples
I actually once read that somewhere around 50 percent of men consider their nipples to be a bona fide erogenous zone. From what I’ve researched, a part of the reason is that the brain lights up whenever nipples are stimulated in a similar way that our genitalia is.
And so, by engaging in nipple play with your partner — lightly stroking his nipples, licking them, kissing them, etc.— not only does it help to intensify his orgasms, but it can also (potentially) shorten his refractory period which makes it easier for him to climax back-to-back.
What You Should Do: Get into Some Sensory Deprivation
If you’ve never heard ofsensory deprivation before, in the context ofsexual activity, it’s when you’re intentional about pulling one of the senses — sight, touch, smell, taste, hearing — out of the sexual experience in order to increase the other four. For example, if you put a blindfold on your partner, if he can’t see what you’re doing, that increases his stimuli in other areas which can make it easier for him to climax and have more than one orgasm at a time. Something else that’s cool about sensory deprivation is it encourages people to focus more on anticipation than overthinking which is always highly beneficial in the sexual pleasure department.
What You Should Do: Talk Dirty to Him
Dirty talking has all sorts of benefits. It appeals to the sense of hearing. It can let you and your partner both know what you want and need more of in a very sensual and seductive way. It can also help to distract your partner as you try to relax him for things like aprostate massage. Listen,it’s been said, for quite some time now, that a man’s G-spot is found in and around his prostate which includes the area in between his scrotum and his anus along with an inch or two within his anus opening.
And so, if you’re telling him how much he turns you on while you’ve got a lubed-up finger wandering around there, there’s no tellinghow many orgasms you’ll be able to give him — ones that he probably isn’t anywhere close to being prepared for. Straight up.
What You Should Do: Embrace His Penis. Fully.
The more you embrace his penis, the more relaxed he’ll feel around you. So, try giving him an impromptu tantric lingam massage. Stroke his shaft with some coconut oil while going down on him. Have some ice in your mouth during oral sex. With the thumb and forefinger of each hand, gently stroke his penis in an up-and-down motion. Use a little peppermint oil mixed with a carrier oil like sweet almond or grapeseed to massage his shaft and scrotum as the menthol from the peppermint provides a tingling sensation.
Bottom line, take in everything about his penis and enjoy yourself while doing so. Chances are, the more creative you get, the more you’ll both discover stimulation points that he never even knew that he had — and when new territory is discovered, that means new peaks of sexual pleasure can be reached too!
Have fun, chile. BOTH OF YOU.
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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From Rock Bottom To Redemption: Paula Patton Opens Up About Her New Film 'Finding Faith'
When Paula Patton’s name is on a project, you already know it’s going to bring some soul. From Jumping the Broom to Baggage Claim, she’s long been a radiant presence on-screen. But in her new film Finding Faith, premiering in theaters June 16–17 via Fathom Events, Paula digs deeper—into grief, healing, and ultimately, redemption.
The film follows Faith Mitchell, a wife and mother whose life is upended by a devastating loss. As she spirals into despair, it’s the love of family, friends, and God that slowly leads her back to light. And for Paula, this story wasn’t just a role—it was personal.
“It connected to a time in my life that I could really relate to,” she says. “That feeling of having lost so much and feeling like so much pain, and not knowing how to deal with the pain… and numbing out to do that.”
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A Story That Hit Close to Home
Having been sober for seven years, Paula says the emotional territory was familiar. But more than anything, it brought her closer to a deeper truth.
“Once you give [the numbing] up, you have to walk in the desert alone… and that’s when I truly found faith in God.”
Turning Pain Into Purpose
While the film touches on loss and addiction, Finding Faith ultimately lives up to its title. Paula describes the acting process as cathartic—and one she was finally ready for.
“Art became healing,” she says. “That was the biggest challenge of all… but it was a challenge I wanted.”
More Than an Inspirational Thriller
Finding Faith is described as an “inspirational thriller,” with layered tones of romance, suspense, and spiritual reflection. Paula credits that dynamic blend to writer-director LazRael Lison.
“That’s what I love about Finding Faith,” she explains. “Yes, she goes on this journey, but there’s other storylines happening that help it stay entertaining.”
"Finding Faith" cast
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On-Set Magic with Loretta Devine
With a cast stacked with phenomnal talent—Loretta Devine, Keith David, Stephen Bishop—it’s no surprise that the film also came alive through unscripted moments.
“We did this kitchen scene… and Loretta changed it,” Paula shares. “She wouldn’t leave. I had to change my dance and figure out how to work with it, and it took on this whole other layer. I’m forever grateful.”
Faith When It Feels Like Night
The film leans on the biblical verse: “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Paula says that reminder is something she’s lived.
“When you’re feeling so anxious, and you look out in the distance and see nothing there… that’s when you have to trust God’s timing.”
Divine Timing Behind the Scenes
Paula didn’t just star in the film—she produced it through her company, Third Eye Productions. And the way the opportunity came to her? Nothing short of divine.
“I said, ‘Just for one week, believe everything’s going to be perfect,’” she recalls. “That same day, my friend Charles called and said, ‘I have a film for you. It’s called Finding Faith.’ I thought I was going to throw the phone down.”
What’s Next for Paula Patton?
When asked about a dream role, Paula didn’t name a genre or a character. Her focus now is on legacy—and light.
“I want to make sure I keep making art that entertains people, but also has hope… That it has a bright light at the end to get us through this journey here on Earth.”
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