Alicia Keys Talks The Importance Of Surrounding Yourself With People Who 'Bring Your Energy Up'
We all have people in our lives that we love and cherish, but a lot of times, some of those people can bring negative energy into your space. You don’t necessarily want to cut them off and so you are forced to love them from a distance. While that may be hard, you have to do what’s best for you, right? That’s something that Alicia Keys had to learn as she got older.
The “Diary” singer is known for her laidback demeanor and positive vibes and she likes the people around her to be on that same wave. Mental wellness is important to her and she shared with InStyle what she’s learned since she’s been on that journey.
"One of the things that I've learned lately that has been resonating with me is monitoring the energy that you allow in your space," she said. "There are a lot of people that we love, people that we've known for years, family members, that we feel obligated to be with and talk to and entertain. And sometimes their energy or their frequency is just not matching yours and not bringing yours up.”
“Even though that's quite hard — trust me, I know — I think that that's something I really, really came to terms with this year. Make sure that the people that are around you bring your energy up, and that's it,” she said.
Alicia recently celebrated her 41st birthday with her husband Swizz Beatz and the mega-producer shared snippets on Instagram of Alicia celebrating in a big way. They never mentioned where they were, but the videos showed the couple on a private jet and then partying all night in a club.
Alicia and Swizz always serve couple goals on social media as they both seem to have one thing in common: they enjoy living life. The singer also highlighted the importance of taking time to experience life and how it plays a major role in your mental health.
"This idea of being able to put yourself first is another part of well-being — making sure that you are okay, making sure that you are mentally stable, making sure that you feel good in your heart and your spirit," she explained.
"I think there are many of us that feel like we're not allowed to or we're not supposed to — like this idea that suffering is a part of life. And surely there are ups and downs for everyone, but there's also the idea that we deserve to be well. It's important to learn how to do that."
Alicia definitely exemplifies that. Being a mother of two and a celebrated, award-winning musician, Alicia continues to be an example of having it all.
"The gift of life is something we can all continue conversations about," she said.
"How are we making the most of our lives? And feeling good and having fun? Because man, life is so short. You can't be stressed the whole time because then it's done."
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Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Astrological Self-Care: What Black Women Need Right Now, According To The Stars
The political environment Black women in America are faced to live in at this time has taught us how important it is to give back to ourselves. When we feel pushed up against a wall, we ask ourselves what we have left to give, and oftentimes, what we have left to give needs to go to us. It feels like in society we take a few steps forward, just to take ten steps back, and this push and pull can be detrimental to our wellbeing.
When we take a look at what it feels like to be dismissed or discouraged like many of us are feeling now, this energy is a shock to our system. We must find ways to feel whole, nourished, and capable, no matter who else wants that to happen for us.
By taking care of ourselves during these uneasy or uncertain times, we build a foundation for not only strength but for love. We tell ourselves that we are worthy of a break or a new beginning and that we are more than worthy of experiencing everything we want in this life. If you are feeling a lack of energy or depleted, then rest is your medicine right now. If a light has been struck within you, motivating you to create change or to go after your dreams, use this as a fire to get you started. Don’t let anyone make you doubt your magic when you carry the whole world in your hands.
This is why so many Black women lean towards their spirituality or Astrology in these turbulent times. We know there are places to go even when we feel shut out, and that our connection to the universe, or God, is ever present in these trying times. We go to the places we know will heal, and we continue to build the parts of us the world has so often tried to take away.
When we need a little encouragement, we can connect to our intuition and the guidance of our soul, and ask the stars for a message. Read below for a message for your sign right now.
If you are an Aries...
Take some time to see where in your life you are currently experiencing abundance, or where you would like to. Look at the full picture at this time, and notice where some culminations have ended up being a positive change of pace for you. You are being reminded that there is nothing in this life that you can’t have and that you are meant to experience major blessings in this lifetime.
This is a good time to manage your finances wisely, look for new working opportunities, and advocate for yourself and your financial desires in the workplace. The work you do is meant to be acknowledged, supported, and paid accordingly, Aries.
If you are a Taurus...
The words we tell ourselves are the most significant words we have to live with. Right now, write a list of things you love and admire about yourself. Make post-it notes and put these words around your house in areas you know you will pass by often. It’s time to remember who you are and how loved you have always been. When you can take the time to look within and ask yourself what you really need right now, oftentimes it’s just a few kind words or a reminder of the significance of who you are.
If you are a Gemini...
It’s time to look at your goals, professional world, and financial intentions, and see if you are living the life you dream of here. What goals have you had for a long time and have pushed to the side due to timing or fear? This is the time to step into your inner knowing and power, to own your skills and work ethic, and to ask for what you need. You are experiencing an inner awakening that’s changing the way you look at your work life, what you really want to do here, and who you want to surround yourself with in this environment.
If you are a Cancer...
This time is reminding you that it’s okay to let go of what isn’t working for you. If you have felt like you have been putting more effort into things than what you are getting in return, it’s time to reevaluate where you are focusing your energy. Take some space to give yourself more of the nourishment and energy you so often give to others, and fill up your own cup right now, Cancer.
You take on a lot more than most, especially in the working environment as you always want to be someone others can lean on. Right now, however, it’s time to put your efforts into the things you want for yourself rather than what others want from you.
If you are a Leo...
Leo, you are meant to shine. There is not much that can dim your light because you know this truth. The more you can tap into your inner power right now and remember who you are, the more you can overcome and succeed. You are meant for big things in this lifetime and it’s time to remember your power. Think about your strengths and where you excel more than most. Remember that the unique gifts you were born with are meant for you for a reason, and shine, shine, shine, Leo!
If you are a Virgo...
You are a wise soul, Virgo, but you may not always trust this inner knowing. Your guidance at this time is to listen to your intuition more. If you are around certain people or environments that don’t feel right or supportive to you, trust that instinct and move away towards new energy. The more you can check in with yourself and listen to what your intuition is telling you, the more you can be in safer environments that don’t make you feel less than or out of place. You are being asked to protect your energy more and to only do the things you feel 100% about doing.
If you are a Libra...
Everyone deserves a new beginning, and that includes you, Libra. This time in your life is about taking a leap of faith in yourself. Sometimes things are worth taking a risk on, and you are looking at your personal goals right now and seeing what needs to be brought forth. Write a list of your current goals and intentions, and then write down concrete plans or strategies to see them through. A new beginning is meant for you right now, but you need to be the one to take that first step. Remember your confidence and your courage, and go after your dreams, Libra.
If you are a Scorpio...
Having more safe spaces to go to and nourish in would do your soul wonders right now. You need more stable foundations for your dreams to come to fruition, and there are people who will support you in making this happen. You deserve to relax, to rest, and to take more time out to nourish your inner world, and that is what is being asked of you now. Spend time with the people who provide you a safe space to just be, and focus on your long-term goals. Where do you see yourself and your life five years from now, and what can you do right now to feel a little bit more secure in the process?
If you are a Sagittarius...
It’s never too late to learn something new, and you are in a space of development and clarity right now, Sag. This is a good time to learn a new skill, develop your knowledge, and work on the things that hold importance for you. This time in your life is about getting focused and putting the effort in to back your intentions. You are someone who is always on the go and always focused on the bigger picture, but life is asking you to buckle down, focus on the details, and get started on that thing that you’ve always wanted to do. Who knows where your creativity, knowledge, and dedication will take you right now? Probably somewhere magical.
If you are a Capricorn...
Remember how loved you are, Capricorn. Nobody can take away the love you have for yourself and no one can take away your ability to love, and you are being reminded of the power of your heart. This is a good time to develop nourishing and stable relationships in your life and to focus more of your energy here. Build a strong community and support system in your life so that your heart doesn’t feel misunderstood or out of place. There are people who resonate with you and your energy, and it’s time to find those people or connect more with the ones you already know.
If you are an Aquarius...
You need a break right now, Aquarius. You are someone who is very connected to what is happening to the collective, and you are more in tune with this energy than most. Therefore, when things are feeling especially chaotic, this can be detrimental to your health and well-being. You need some space right now to let things come to fruition without you forcing them to. You need time to regain your strength and your energy, and to let things play out for you, trusting that they will be for your benefit. Go on a vacation and allow yourself to take a pause right now, and for time to do its thing.
If you are a Pisces...
This time in your life right now is about asking yourself what you truly want. New options are coming into clear view for you, and you are taking your challenges and turning them into opportunities. You are a powerful manifester, Pisces, and it’s time to start manifesting the intentions you dream of and are contemplating right now. There are a lot of things up in the air for you, but you have the power to turn them into your concrete reality. Ask yourself the tough questions, then prepare your heart to walk into a new door.
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