With summer coming, Vitamin D and vacations can subconsciously be a source of both peace and pressure. Wedding season, brunches, last minute roadtrips, and other summer activities can lead us to spend more than anticipated.
While the extra sunlight often gives our moods a boost of energy, this can also contribute to more frivolous spending with increased cycles of shame, guilt, and avoidance when it comes to your finances. So whether you're a Hot Girl, a City Girl, or on your Lizzo flow this summer (cues your summertime theme song), here are a few tips on how to maintain your cool as things continue to heat up:
Gas yourself up while keeping your cool.
GiphyIf you're hitting the road, try filling up midweek on a Wednesday or Thursday (notice any airline pricing parallel?). Simple economics (supply and demand) means gas stations have a tendency to bump up their prices on Friday when most people travel and fill up last minute. A little planning can go a long way. Want another hack when it comes to your utilities? Keeping your A/C at 68 degrees is a 60% increase in utility spending on average in comparison to 78 degrees when you leave your home. Remember to make this adjustment manually or check with your utility company about a technology upgrade allowing you to control your A/C remotely, helping you to keep your cool in more ways than one this summer.
Pay cash or use debit.
Using money you've already earned will save you a ton of money. Cash is queen (or "king" as they say) because we feel the "pain" of spending cash over a simple swipe of a card. But we also don't have a way to track what we have spent. Debit on the other hand gives us a breakdown of where we spent our money and helps us to avoid "credit card hangover" (where we tend to beat ourselves up when we make money mistakes, say we won't do it again, and then find ourselves spending more to cure the "hangover", further perpetuating the cycle). Spend with purpose and fulfill your emotional needs with awareness.
Go on a staycation.
GiphyAccommodations tend to be two-thirds of our already-growing expenses when it comes to vacationing. Add in gas, food, and fun money, you know how quickly this all adds up. On the other hand, a staycation can be lighter on our wallet but heavy in fun! Vacation rental sites like Airbnb, Noirbnb, VRBO, and Homeaway can give you more bang for your buck as well as the local feel we often crave when we travel. Pair this strategy with finding free fun, like creating a bucket list, attending free informational classes, parks, recreation, and other events, and you are well on your way to smart summertime spending with all the vibes!
Set a social calendar.
With increased events during the summer (can you say wedding/bachelorette season?) and a natural tendency to want to visit others/be visited more, setting a social calendar will help to keep your spending in check. To live with purpose and intention, boundaries are important in all aspects of our lives and it's no different when it comes to your finances. Exercise your right to say NO to avoid unnecessary stress and drama!
Make spontaneity a part of your spending plan.
Considering we are more likely to engage in random activities during the summer months, we should make sure this is a part of our spending plan (I prefer this phrase over "budget" because anything too restrictive can often lead to failure like a fad diet because guess what? We are HUMAN!). Ditch the traditional rigid "budget" and include the inevitable. It's okay to plan for a splurge. Your future self and self-worth will thank you!
Be less social (media).
Sis, comparison is the thief of joy so be more intentional with the accounts you are following. Keep in mind that social media is only one side of a story and everyone who appears to be happy, rich, and joyful isn't always. Sometimes the images we are being fed are simply others managing their perceptions and "doin' it for the gram." It's no surprise that depression and anxiety rates are up and directly correlated. Don't let what others are doing deter you on YOUR journey. Remember this is just a season, and delayed gratification is worth it!
Be more nostalgic.
It's time to tap back in to your inner child. You know, the younger version of you, the little girl who was full of joy from the little things where cost and impressing others wasn't a factor? Do you remember catching/admiring fireflies, being on the porch with family and friends, or playing "punch bug"? What made your summertime self sing in your childhood days? Do more of that! Be intentional. Focus on being more present which costs nothing but simply putting your phone away.
By implementing these 7 summertime strategies and putting them to good use, you will find yourself increasing your holistic health and wealth. You are deserving and beyond worthy of this, Queen. Life is meant to be enjoyed and just in case you forgot, it's not a dress rehearsal. So whether you find yourself in sundresses, shorts, swimsuits, or even sweats this summer, continue to soak in the sun, create a summer to remember, and elevate your money mindset.
Are you down?
Featured image by Getty Images
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Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
