

As I approach 30 next year, it’s safe to say I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs in the dating world, especially as a Black woman. Like many of you, I spent my 20s navigating a sea of advice that, in a lot of ways, contradicted each other. Some of the words of wisdom I stumbled across were empowering, while other advice seemed one-sided, but the majority of the “relationship takes” I received left me feeling more confused than ever.
From books such as Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Man, the infamous relationship quizzes, analyzing zodiac signs, contradicting articles, and removal prayers to trusted friends and family members, I have tried it all, and some of you can probably say the same.
We have all been told to play the cool girl role, waiting for the right man to pursue you, or following tips about “never texting first.” On the other hand, some of you were taught to approach dating, like Gabrielle Union in Deliver Us From Eva.
Unfortunately, some of us have even crashed out over a man, possibly more than once, often left with feeling misunderstood, disrespected, and humiliated. Then the cycle continues of going to the internet search bar to see where everything went wrong.
With YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, X, and Chat GPT available at the touch of a button, it’s easy to get a million different viewpoints about navigating love as a Black woman. Unfortunately, a lot of this advice can come from narrow-minded viewpoints that come with a “one size fits all” approach.
On one hand an "online dating expert" can say act mysterious, while another says to be upfront about what you want. Some may say, “wait for the right person to come along,” while others urge me to take charge and “make things happen.”
In other words, there was no consistency, and worse, the advice didn’t feel tailored to me as a Black woman. Not just while navigating dating but everything that comes with it, from societal expectations to stereotypes. It all left me feeling stuck until now.
What I’ve learned in my 29 years of life so far is it’s not about a set of rules. It’s about finding guidance that speaks to you specifically as a Black woman. This is what led me to write this article because, after all the trial and error, I’ve finally found online dating coaches who truly get it.
They understand the unique experiences, challenges, and strengths that come with being a Black woman in the dating world. These three coaches don’t offer generic advice; they offer insights that help you build healthy relationships on your own terms without compromising your identity.
In this post, we are sharing some of the top dating coaches in the game I’ve come across who focus on empowering Black women and women of color. Each one tackles the unique challenges we face as Black women from different angles, offering guidance that goes beyond the surface level. Whether it’s unpacking societal pressures, navigating confidence and body image, healing from childhood wounds, or walking away from toxic patterns, these coaches bring clarity to the confusion. Here’s who made the cut.
Second Runner-Up: Kindall D. (Mindset & Intuitive Coach)
Whether you’re in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, or beyond, you have to heal from within before trying to date anyone. This is why the “Top 3” spot goes to Coach Kindall D., who is all about walking away from toxic patterns and building confidence.
With a following of 136K, Kindall D. is a mindset and intuitive coach with a community called “I've Been That Girl Too.” She focuses on helping women heal from past relationships, how to recognize toxic patterns, and uses her own personal relationship stories to relate to her community.
With a calm demeanor and non-judgmental space, she shares short-form videos and quotes about knowing when to walk away, navigating dating with an anxious attachment style, avoiding “projects in love,” and beyond.
I think one of her best videos is ‘How to Know He’s Safe.’ Too many times, as Black women, we see videos that are always painting men in a negative light. Such as knowing how to spot the red flags. This isn’t necessarily bad, but it leaves you more guarded and less open to healthy relationships in the future. This could possibly lead to resentment and becoming overly independent.
Ladies, here is how to spot a safe man, according to Kindall D. “If you are able to assert a boundary in the beginning while talking to them and they don’t treat you differently or their interest in you doesn't dissipate, then you know that means they’re safe. Also, it means they’re emotionally mature.
Another way to know he’s safe is when he does what he says he’s going to do, no matter how small. Lastly, if he’s interested in getting to know you [beyond the physical]. In other words, he gives you compliments about who you are [at the core] rather than just your appearance.”
First Runner-Up: Tisia Xiare Vere (Confidence & Relationship Coach)
Sometimes, with relationship advice, sugarcoating the truth is not going to cut it. This is why the “Top 2” spot goes to Coach Tisia, who is all about confidence and clarity in dating.
Her content consistently goes viral, and she is known for her no-nonsense, satirical approach to relationships. She basically uses humor to uplift her community while also reminding them to set boundaries.
Earlier content as a creator consisted of Tisia using clips of the animal kingdom during mating season. The video clips would show the male animals chasing the female animals and relate it back to real-life dating scenarios.
Later on, Tisia started posting more videos about relationships and asking a series of questions that would have you think twice if you were being delusional or logical in the dating world.
One of her best videos consisted of her pulling out some questions from a live Q+A about “How to Get A Man to Like You Again.”
As a Black woman, we may often feel the need to prove ourselves or overly exert ourselves in relationships. This could possibly stem from childhood, but this video shuts down that relationship approach swiftly. Her clown-filtered thumbnail sets up the video perfectly, with a plot twist at the end.
Now, if you aren’t here for a reality check, Tisia also has a group chat and personal 1-on-1 coaching if you are looking for a softer approach to the truth.
The Winner: Anwar White (Dating and Relationship Coach)
If you are ready to take things a step further in your relationship journey and truly look within, then your fairy godbrother, Coach Anwar, is here to save the day.
Anwar takes the No. 1 spot because he tackles topics about childhood wounds, image, who to date based on your personality type, how to date Black men, how to date outside of your race, and more. The best part is he coaches you on how to maintain your dignity and stay true to yourself.
He provides somewhat of a cheat code that actually works in real life. No mind games, no empty advice, but he truly looks at things from a qualitative and quantitative approach to assist you along your dating journey.
His series of videos touch on very specific topics rather than vague innuendos that make you feel more confident in dating. A personal favorite of mine would be his video on “Dating Complements.” In a nutshell, the type of man that would complement you best based on your personality type.
According to Anwar, “Type A boss babes need the optimistic golden retriever guy. This is the engineer or the federal employee. Very much black cat, golden retriever vibes. The nice girl needs the tradesmen, such as the plumbers and construction men. They will be the physical, and you will be the heart and spirit. Anxious girls need the quiet introverted guy that is in tech or even veterinarians. Their quiet confidence will calm you.
If you are the momma bear, you need the needy guy. The musician, the artist, the entrepreneur, and the politician. If you are a social butterfly, you need the non-social gamer guy such as IT guys or accountants. If you are a party girl, you might attract an overprotective guy such as a banker, lawyer, or consultant.
Lastly, if you are the romantic girl, the complement that works is more athletic. That’s why the English teachers always have a crush on the PE teachers. This would be the coaches, athletes, military men, police, and firefighters.
For me personally, Coach Anwar helps take away the stress from dating and stops you from dating with a scarcity mindset. He helps you narrow down the search and empowers you in the process.
After reaching out directly to see why he decided to become a dating coach, he sent this video back as his reason “why”:
Now, whether you’re just beginning to heal, looking for a wake-up call, or diving deep into unpacking societal pressures, these coaches are here to guide you with clarity and compassion.
Each coach has weekly content to assist you, but your love story starts with the work you’re willing to do within. With the right guidance and a little patience with yourself, you're bound to attract the love you deserve with ease.
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'Black Girl Magic' Poet Mahogany L. Browne Talks Banned Books And The Power Of The Creative Pivot
You know you’re dealing with a truly talented and profound voice of a generation when the powers that be attempt to silence it. As a poet, educator, and cultural curator, Mahogany L. Browne has carved out a powerful space in the world of literature and beyond.
From penning the viral poem, “Black Girl Magic,” to writing Woke: A Young Poet’s Call To Justice (a book once banned from a Boston school library), to becoming the 2024 Paterson Poetry Prize winner and a poet-in-residence at Lincoln Center—her path exemplifies resilience, reinvention, and unapologetic artistry. She's published more than 40 works and paid the bills with her craft, a divine dream for many creatives seeking release, autonomy, and freedom in a tough economic climate.
A Goddard College graduate, who earned an MFA from Pratt Institute and was awarded an honorary doctorate from Marymount Manhattan College, Mahogany offers unapologetic realness with a side of grace and empowerment. "I started touring locally. I started creating chat books so that those poems will go in the hands of the people who were sitting in the rooms," she shared.
"And then I started facilitating poetry workshops, so I used my chat books as curriculum. And that, in turn, allowed me to further invest in my art and show the community and people who were hiring me that it wasn't just a one-off, that it's not just, you know, a fly by night—that I am invested in this art as much as I am invested in your community, in your children's learning, in our growth."
Mahogany has a special way of moving audiences, and her superpower sparks shifts in perspective, post-performance introspection, and strengthening of community bonds, especially among Black women. (One can undeniably recognize her gift for arousal of the spirit and mind merely from her listening to her insights from the other side of a Google Hangout call. I can only imagine the soul-stirring, top-tier sensory encounter when watching her perform in person.)
In this chat with xoNecole, Mahogany reflects on sustaining a creative career, the aftermath of writing a banned book, and using poetry for both healing, community-building, and activism.
Anthony Artis
xoNecole: What are three key things that have laid the foundation for a sustainable creative career for you?
Mahogany L Browne: What has helped me is that I'm willing to go in being an expert at knowing poetry and knowing the way in which art can change the landscape of our lives, not just as a poet, but also as a poetry facilitator. How you move through classes, those things are mastered, right? So when I go into another space that's maybe tech-heavy, I don't mind learning and being, you know, a student of the wonder of how we can make this magic, work together.
Two, you’ve got to know how to pivot. Sometimes we say, ‘Alright, this is what my life is going to be. I'm going to be a New York Times best-selling author. I'm going to, you know, have an album that's Grammy-nominated. And then, say you get dropped from your record label. That doesn't mean you can't make an album anymore. You can also still create an album that can be submitted to the Grammys. So, what does a pivot look like as an artist who doesn't have an institution behind them? Pivot being a student of the wonder.
Relationships also really help. How do I serve the community? And in turn, that tells me how the community can show up. For me, I have long-standing ties with a community that will outlast my one life. So, what does it mean to create space where these relationships can develop, can be nurtured, can be rooted, can be cultivated? Creating space—it happens through relationships.
xoN: With today’s economic challenges, what does your current creative process look like, and what are you working on?
MB: I’m always thinking five years ahead. I just reviewed the pages for two children’s books and recently released a YA novel. I’m drafting an adult fiction manuscript now.
Anything I create is founded with the root of poetry, but it can exist in captions. It can exist in commercials. It can exist as a musical. So that's where I’m at now.
xoN: You started performing "Black Girl Magic" in 2013, had an acclaimed performance of it via PBS and the work went on to viral success shortly after. Talk more about the inspiration. And what do you think about the continued relevance more than a decade later?
MB: I wrote it as a rally cry for the mothers who had been keeping themselves truly in harm's way by, you know, being a part of the community right after the death of their child or their loved one. They are usually mothers of victims of police brutality—and just seeing how they showed up in these community spaces, they are devout to the cause but obviously still grieving.
"I wanted this poem to be just a space of reclamation, of joy and of you, of your light, of your shine, of your brilliance, in any which way in which you fashion. Every room you enter is the room you deserve to be in. What does it mean to have a poem like that that exists?"
And the first time I did the poem, the Weeping that occurred, right? It was like this blood-letting of sorts. The next time I performed it, I'm moved to tears because I'm seeing how it's affecting other women who have just been waiting to hear, ‘You belong. You deserve. You are good. We see you. Thank you, despite everything that they said to make you regret being born in this beautiful brown, dark-skinned, light-skinned, but Black body.’
Black women are the backbone—period. Point blank. And so, that that poem became a necessity, not just to the fortitude of Black women in the community, but like you know, in service of healing the Black women.
xoN: One of your books was banned at a school in Boston, and it was later reinstated due to parental and activist support. What was that experience like?
MB: Well, I think it happened because they were racist. That's it. Point blank. The reversal of it was empowering, right? I realized, oh, I thought we just had to sit here and be on a banned book list. But no, parents are actually the leaders of this charge.
So to see that, the parents said, ‘Nah, we're not gonna let you take this book out of my baby’s school just because it's a Black kid on the front saying, ‘Woke’ and they're talking about being a global citizen. They're talking about accountability. They're talking about accessibility. They're talking about allyship, and you don't want them to have compassion or empathy or have even an understanding, right? So no, we rebuke that, and we want this book here anyway.’ To see that happen in that way. I was, like, reaffirmed. Absolutely.
xoN: You recently organized the Black Girl Magic Ball at the Lincoln Center in New York. Honorees included author and entrepreneur Rachel Cargle and National Black Theater CEO Sade Lythcott. What impact did it have and what expanded legacy do you hope to leave with your creative works?
MB: I was really interested in not celebrating just the book, but celebrating the community that made the book possible. And so I gave out five awards to women doing that thing, like, what does it mean to be a Black girl in this world?
I just thought it was gonna be an amazing time. Everybody's gonna dress up—we're gonna celebrate each other. And boom, I then realized that it responded to like a gaping hole. There was a missing thing for Black girls of all walks of life, all ages, right?
"It's very intergenerational. That was intentional to come together and celebrate just being us."
You have all these instances where just being you is either the butt of a joke or it's diminished and not worthy of a specific title in these larger institutions. So what does it mean to just to be loved up on and celebrated?
It felt like a self-care project at first. You know, for the first couple of years, folks were coming and they were getting that sisterhood. They were getting that tribe work that they were missing in their everyday lives.
I love the Black Girl Magic Ball because we got us. If I go out with a bang, they'll remember that Mahogany worked her a** off to make sure all the Black girls everywhere knew that she was the light. We are the blueprint.
For more information on Mahogany L. Browne, her work, and her future projects, visit her website or follow her on IG @mobrowne.
Featured image by Anthony Artis
Inside Tiera Kennedy’s BET Awards Night: Hanifa Dress, DIY Glam & ‘Blackbiird’ Nomination
This is Tiera Kennedy’s world, and we’re just living in it.
An Alabama native taking country music by storm thanks to her features on Beyoncé s Cowboy Carter and her recently released debut, Rooted, Kennedy is much more than just a woman living out her wildest dreams; she embodies the role of all-American girl with ease.
“I think for me, an all-American girl, for some reason, brings me back to when I was younger, and just like playing at my grandma’s house and just being outside,” Kennedy told xoNecole ahead of her attendance at the 2025 BET Awards.
“I just feel like when I was younger, you know, you don’t have as many responsibilities. There’s not as much weighing you down, and so I kind of go back to that mindset. Like, even now, being 27, I’m trying to get back to that younger girl.”
The 2025 BET Awards, hosted by Kevin Hart, took place in Los Angeles at the Peacock Theater on Monday night (June 9). The star-studded event was filled with tons of surprises, including a trip down memory lane with a 106 & Park reunion, coupled with performances by artists that dominated the top spots during the music video countdown show’s reign from 2000 to 2014.
Kennedy, who received her first nomination alongside Tanner Adell, Brittney Spencer, Reyna Roberts, and Beyoncè in the BET Her category for “Blackbiird,” the reimagination of the original The Beatles of the same title (minus the extra i), invited xoNecole to get ready with her as she prepared for her first-ever BET Awards.
Beauty Rituals Inherited From Her Mother.
Rather than booking her makeup artist ahead of the big night, Kennedy decided to go on a budget and do the task herself, something that isn’t too out of her norm. She noted how she incorporates some of the things she witnessed her mother do while growing up in her routine.
“I remember being younger and seeing all the makeup laid out on my mom’s counter,” the “I Look Good In That Truck” singer recalled. “I don’t even think she knows this, but there were moments where I would like to go and steal her makeup. She would have Mac. I think it was some kind of foundation powder, and I would go in there and I would put it on, and I’m like I hope she doesn’t see.”
She added, “My mom is very natural with her makeup, so even though I’ve got these big lashes on, I always gravitate towards just neutral looks… I don’t do anything too fancy.”
Tiera Kennedy’s Holy Grail of Products.
Kennedy took it upon herself to take a class to ensure that she’s prepared for nights like these, where she’s the one responsible for bringing her glam look to life.
“We are independent,” she said, reminding us that she is no longer tied to a big machine when it comes to her work as an artist. “We ball on a budget. I have to do my makeup for award shows, events, all the things, and so my makeup artist that taught me how to do all of this, Hailee Clark, she put me on to Nars, the foundation. I don’t know exactly what the name of it is, but I love it.”
“I don’t know all the fancy technicals, but I know that it makes me just look kind of airbrushed, and so I love it. Then, I always use this Laura Mercier [setting] powder because I get real shiny, so I’ve gotta reapply that quite often.”
“We are independent. We ball on a budget. I have to do my makeup for award shows, events, all the things, and so my makeup artist that taught me how to do all of this, Hailee Clark, she put me on."
Her Decision To Wear Hanifa For The Big Night.
Intentionality is essential for Kennedy, which is why she jumped at the opportunity to support Black designer Anifa Mvuemba with a dress from her fashion brand, Hanifa.
“Takirra on my team helped me pick out the dress. I really like to represent in country music, and being in Nashville, I like to represent Black culture through the things that I wear, and I was excited to get to wear a Black brand to the BET Awards,” said Kennedy.
“She was telling me about this brand, Hanifa, and we were on FaceTime just scrolling through the website, and she was like this looks like you. This feels very rooted, like fits those natural tones, and so she bought the dress and was like, ‘This is what you’re wearing.’”
The look was a Raven Knit Dress in Eggplant/Dark Brown Mesh from Hanifa.
Tiera Kennedy in her younger years.
Courtesy
Kennedy also nurtured her inner child for the look, taking it back to her roots with one small detail in her hair that she had her mother carry out before she hopped on the flight to LA.
“I had this vision of wearing beads in my hair because when I was younger, my mom would always do that, and I didn’t love it, but now I’m like, it would be really beautiful to tie all of that together, and the Hanifa dress just fit perfectly.”
“Just even in the past couple of days, I’ve had to take a second, and just look back at all of the awesome things we’ve gotten to do,” said Kennedy when asked what baby Tiera is feeling in this moment.
“I had this vision of wearing beads in my hair, because when I was younger, my mom would always do that, and I didn’t love it, but now I’m like, it would be really beautiful to tie all of that together, and the Hanifa dress just fit perfectly.”
“I dreamed of having a record and having this team that was doing all of these things for me, and now, being an independent artist, and being in control of my career, I’ve gotten to build an awesome team behind me that helps me get to where I am. It’s been a lot of hard work, and I think when I was younger, I would have never imagined that I could do all of these things, and so, yeah, to be here, I don’t even think I would believe it.”
Although “Blackbiird” didn’t win in the BET Her category during Monday night’s show, Kennedy’s future is brighter than ever, which she attests to her faith playing a huge role in guiding her next steps as she continues to rise to stardom.
“Thinking about the next thing, I think that can be really daunting when you’re an independent artist. It’s like you have to be thinking of what’s coming next, to prepare for that, but I think the way that I like to walk through life in general is letting the Lord lead,” Kennedy said.
“I know that a lot of time when I have a vision of what I want things to look like in my head, He always exceed my expectations. So, I think the plan is to continue to release music, and continue to show up as my authentic self. Getting to have these moments like the BET Awards is so awesome, but also, at the same time, that’s not what I do this for. I do it for the humans that are listening to my music, that are [having] fun and healing through my music, so I hope that I can just continue to do that.”
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Feature image by Rob Latour/Shutterstock