

I don’t care what article on hair care you read — if it’s worth anything at all when it comes to the topic of how to prevent breakage and other forms of hair damage, it’s going to mention that your tresses need hydration. There is no way that it can endure the manipulation of styling and the heat that comes from certain styling tools any other way.
So, why is it that, when it comes to our hair — Black hair — maintaining moisture is such a constant struggle (especially the tighter our curls are)? The science behind it is that the curlier our hair is, the harder it becomes for the sebum from our scalp to cover our strands from root to tip (which is a great reminder to keep your scalp moisturized, by the way). However, as someone with high porosity hair who has found maintaining hydration to probably be my greatest hair challenge (as far as length retention goes), I think that failing to do certain things to our hair regularly plays as much of a vital role.
Today, let’s look into 10 things that you can do — things that I’ve personally done and continue to do — that can keep your hair full of moisture which will ultimately keep it strong and hella healthy.
1. Master Your Hair’s Porosity
I’m telling you from firsthand experience that, until/unless you learn what your hair’s porosity is (which is its ability to maintain water), you will never truly master how to keep it moisturized. My hair? It’s high porosity because my cuticles are open; this means that, although my locks take in hydration easily, I lose it almost just as fast.
"Low porosity" means that cuticles are so tightly bound that it’s hard to get hydration in; however, once moisture penetrates, it remains longer than it does in high-porosity hair. "Normal porosity" speaks to there being a pretty good balance.
Keeping all of this in mind, if you keep trying to get moisture into your hair without knowing its porosity, I can promise you that you are going to unnecessarily stress yourself (and probably your hair) out. So, if you’re not sure what yours is (for the record, porosity can also change due to things like chemical treatments and even age), this video here offers up DIY tests that are pretty effective and can help you understand your hair needs better.
2. Upgrade Your Deep Conditioning Practices
I’ve shared in other articles that it took years for me to start really deep conditioning my hair. I don’t mean just slapping on some conditioner, letting it sit for 5-10 minutes, and then going on about my day. I mean finding the kind of deep conditioner that would complement my hair type (including its porosity) and then allowing it to penetrate my hair shaft for no less than 30-45 minutes. Over the past couple of years, though, I’ve upped the ante even more.
Now I create my own cocktail of conditioners (hair bonding products and a hair oil like avocado or rosemary oil included), apply a generous amount of the blend to my damp hair, and then sit with a hair steaming bonnet on my head for at least an hour. I’m telling you, if you’ve never steamed your hair before, it is a real game-changer!
Not only does it help your hair conditioner to deeply penetrate your strands, it also helps to unclog the hair follicles on your scalp, increase hair elasticity, works to enhance your natural curl pattern, and prepares your hair to take in whatever products you plan to add to your hair after rinsing your deep conditioner out (like a leave-in conditioner; more on that later). So, whether you get a fancy steamer, a steam bonnet or you decide to stand in a hot shower for a while, always make steaming a part of your conditioning process — if you want more moisture, that is.
3. Use Water-Based Products
Reading labels on the back of hair products is so important if you want your locks to thrive. That said, when it comes to retaining hair moisture, it’s essential that you go for products that are water-based; this starts with ones that have water listed as the first ingredient on the label. When hair products have a lot of water in them, that helps to reduce dryness which can lead to breakage. For starters, you can find a list of some of the best water-based leave-in conditioners here.
4. Avoid Alcohol-Based Ones (Well, Some of Them)
Here’s the thing about hair products that have alcohol in them: some are bad, and others are actually pretty beneficial. As far as Cetearyl alcohol, lauryl alcohol, and benzyl alcohols (which are more of a hair product preservative than anything), these are helpful because they can actually help to soften and hydrate your hair. What I’m talking about here is ethanol, SD alcohol 40, propanol, isopropyl, and propyl types of alcohol; these are problematic because not only do they have the (strong) potential to dry out your hair on their own, but they also tend to strip your strands of the natural sebum that your scalp produces.
The bottom line here is to read the labels to see which type of alcohol is in the product that you’re considering. Also, even when it comes to the “good” ones, pay attention to how your hair feels 2-3 days after applying them. If it’s brittle or sticky, stop using it; it’s not helping.
5. Drink More Water
No matter how much water you put on your hair, you’re still going to need to be well-hydrated within. In fact, did you know that between 25-30 percent of your hair’s weight is made up of water? This means that, although it’s still being researched if dehydration is connected to hair loss, what you can know for sure is water helps to increase blood circulation to your scalp, helps your hair follicles to absorb nutrients, keeps your scalp hydrated, and water also helps to prevent brittleness which reduces breakage.
So yes, make sure that you get plenty of water into your system daily. Oh, and if you happen to be a tea lover, check out “10 Teas That Are Great For The Fall Season — As Far As Hair Growth Is Concerned” for ones that can hydrate your strands while benefitting them in other ways too.
6. Eat Fatty Acids and Antioxidants More Often
Speaking of “moisturized insides,” I can also vouch for the fact that adding certain foods to your diet can help keep your hair hydrated. For instance, did you know that fatty acids make up a whopping 85 percent of your hair’s lipid content? This is relevant because lipids help to maintain your hair’s strength and manageability not to mention its thickness, growth, and moisture. All of this is essential because you need things that are going to help you handle the manipulation that comes with styling your hair.
Antioxidants are good as well because they will help to keep your scalp healthy, reduce hair shedding, fight off free radicals, help to prevent UV damage (including how the sun can dry out your hair), slow down premature graying, increase circulation to your scalp and yes, maintain moisture. Foods that are full of fatty acids include salmon, kidney beans, cashews, peanuts, sunflower seeds, chia seeds, and egg yolks. Foods that are loaded with antioxidants include berries, artichokes, red cabbage, spinach, okra, collards and plums.
7. Try an ANTI-Humectant
You’re probably familiar with what a humectant is; it’s something that pulls moisture from the hair. As far as ones that are good for your hair,honey is a humectant that immediately comes to mind. Okay, so what is an anti-humectant? It's a product that will prevent moisture from leaving your hair once the moisture is already present. Therefore, if you’re someone who loses hair hydration a lot, an anti-humectant can be a real lifesaver for you (especially on the days when it’s hella humid and you want to reduce the appearance of frizz).
For the record, since anti-humectants include things like silicones and beeswax, if you’ve ever used either one of those, you probably already know that it’s best to take the “less is more” approach. Still, if you need some assistance keeping moisture around, an anti-humectant can make that happen for you. Check out a list of these types of hair productshere andhere.
8. Try Some Monoi Oil
If you’re not familiar with monoi oil, it’s an oil that comes from soaking the petals of Tahitian gardenias into coconut oil. I’m such a fan of it that I actually shouted the oil out in another hair care article a few years back (“What Your Natural Hair Needs This Spring Season”). Although it does things like help to strengthen your hair and reduce frizz, one of my favorite perks is monoi oil also helps to reduce split ends — and since split ends are the result of hair that is dry and brittle, well, you can see why you should consider giving it a shot; especially if length retention is your (ultimate) goal.
9. Make Leave-In Conditioner a Part of Your Nightly Hair Routine
Speaking of taking care of your ends, since that is the oldest part of your hair, you need to “baby” them more than any other part of your locks; otherwise, they are prone to breakage, and length will never be something that you will see much of. One way to do that is to give your ends more hydration by applying a leave-in conditioner to your ends no less than 2-3 times a week, whether you’re someone who rolls up your hair, braids, or twists it. My favorite for a while now has been Mielle’s Pomegranate & Honey Leave-In Conditioner. Some other options that you might want to check out are located here, here, and here.
10. Wrap Your Hair Up at Night
Y’all, please don’t underestimate the importance of wrapping your hair up at night — not just to avoid the friction that tossing and turning can cause (which can ultimately lead to breakage) but because it really is true that your hair can dry out if you are lying down for hours on end without some satin or silk on your head to protect it from your bedding. Listen, I have had seasons when I didn’t wrap my hair up and seasons when I did — when it comes to retaining moisture, the difference is like night and day whenever I do take out five extra minutes to do the step, I just talked about and then to cover it up with something that won’t absorb all of my efforts.
BONUS: Regularly Use a Finishing Spray
If you want your hair to have more sheen to it, you probably already know that oil sheen can make that happen for you. Okay, but what if you want to lightly condition your hair throughout the day? Then what? Something that I am a huge fan of is finishing and conditioning sprays. They tend to be light, they help to keep the cuticles of my strands smooth and my hair soft, and they are able to add movement (like when it comes to blowouts), too. Plus, they help my hair to feel moisturized. That’s why, I absolutely could not close this article out without shouting out the brand that I use: BB Smooth Sheen Conditioning Spray with Shea Butter.
To be honest with you, I have no idea how I even stumbled upon it in the first place, yet when I tell you that it is now a staple that I can’t see going without? It’s like it coats my hair and soothes my scalp without any (real) residue so that my hair remains moisturized until I come up and do my nighttime hair routine. Definitely a must-have if you’re trying to figure out how to keep your hair from drying out in between wash days. Hey, don’t say I never told you. It’s a winner. Promise you that!
So…what are you waiting on? Your parched hair is looking for relief, and now you know just what to do. Enjoy, sis. ENJOY.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
On her debut album,CTRL,SZA crooned about her desire to be a “Normal Girl.” Now, nearly eight years since its release, her Not Beauty line represents her commitment to existing outside of traditional beauty norms.
The singer whose real name is Solána Imani Rowe first teased the idea of a lip gloss line during Super Bowl LIX in February, noting that the release would be happening “very shortly.” Not Beauty debuted simultaneously with the Grand National Tour, which she co-headlines with Kendrick Lamar, in Minneapolis on April 19.
Each Not Beauty pop-up would offer fans the opportunity to purchase the glosses, learn more about the brand, and have the opportunity to meet the superstar in the flesh regardless of their ticket status.
During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
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So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
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What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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It’s almost always “annoyingly fun” to have conversations with super churchy folks. Example? Recently, I had on an anklet that a particular woman took notice of. When she complimented it and asked what it was made of, I said, “Moonstone, which is one of my birthstones.” Oddly enough, she then turned up her nose and said that stones and crystals were tied to witchcraft, to which I casually replied, “Then I guess you hate Aaron’s breastplate, huh?” She paused and turned her nose up again — this time, though, because she just experienced a good old-fashioned “checkmate.”
This article is about crystals not Scripture, so when it comes to the latter, I’ll just briefly say that if you mosey on over to Exodus 28, you’ll see that a high priest breastplate is referenced; one that contains precious gems including topaz, sapphire, agate, onyx and jasper (and that’s just for starters!). Yeah, it really is important to not just throw judgments around like confetti — know of what you are actually speaking of first (because that’s what Matthew 7 is really all about).
I did think it was important to mention that for potential skeptics about why this article even exists. Because although there are Scriptural and evenscience-based individuals who roll their eyes at the power of what gemstones and crystals can (possibly) do, I’m pretty sure that some of you are not surprised that the holistic and Ayurveda worlds see it all very differently.In those realms, energy plays a big role in physical, emotional, and mental health, and crystals are believed to cultivate balance or intensify certain feelings or experiences through that said energy.
That said, when it comes to sex, specifically, there are certain stones (which are basically what crystals are;in fact, all gemstones are a type of crystal) that are believed to help make intimacy even more satisfying. If you’re curious about which ones are, I’ve got 10 for you below.
10 Crystals That May Enhance Your Intimate Life
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1. Garnet
Garnet is a rich shade of red that happens to be January’s gemstone. It’s considered to be one of the oldest gemstones around, one that Egyptians believed was a symbol of life and something that they oftentimes wore in their signet rings. As far as symbolism goes, garnet also represents love and vitality as well as energy, passion and even self-confidence — all of which are quite relevant when it comes to having an active and fulfilling sex life.
2. Amethyst
Queen Cleopatra and Leonardo da Vinci are just two powerful figures who were big fans of the purple gemstone amethyst. Interestingly enough, it is February’s birthstone — the month that Valentine’s Day falls under. Another interesting fact is many early Christians relied on this gem in order to increase their spirituality while many Greeks used to see it as a stone that provided protection. When it comes to intimacy, amethyst is also associated with love and devotion as well as feelings of calm and reduced anxiety — and since the less calm you feel, the easier it is to climax…well. #wink
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3. Orange Carnelian
Looking to experience more joy and happiness? Or maybe you want to strengthen your friendships. Or perhaps it’s time to increase your pleasure levels or to go into deeper levels of sensuality. For all of these things, orange carnelian is a top-tier pick. As I did a bit more research on this stone, it’s considered to be a royal one and something that can bring forth peace. One of my favorite things about orange carnelian is it comes in different hues of orange — the deeper the color, the more passion it exudes. Just an FYI.
4. Rose Quartz
If you want to take your romantic relationship to another level, rose quartz has a solid reputation for helping to make that happen for you. In fact, this pink crystal is oftentimes referred to as being the stone of unconditional love because it encourages the wearers of it to both give as well as put themselves in the position to receive love too. Since rose quartz is also tied to things like emotional healing, restored trust and harmony, if you’re looking to make a much deeper intimate connection with your partner, this just might be the stone for you.
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5. Rhodochrosite
Rhodochrosite is a red-rose colored stone that I personally hold dear. I say that because, as a survivor of sexual abuse, it is one that helps recovering individuals to work through sexual trauma (and trauma, in general). It is associated with love, compassion and strength as it helps you to process your emotions in a positive way, so that you are able to effectively release past pain and deal with any PTSD that you might have. You know, I know a wife who sexually struggled in her marriage for years because she had been sexually assaulted in college and never told her husband.
A stone of compassion is a precious one — including when it comes to dealing with sexual trauma and intimacy challenges and learning how to face them. Salute to this stone right here.
6. Citrine
Citrine is November’s birthstone and its rich yellow color explains why it represents things like abundance, prosperity, radiance and happiness. Aside from this, whether you’re seeking clarity, you’d like to be more creative or you’re interested in becoming more sensual, citrine encourages all of this. Sensuality is a dope word because it’s all about appealing to all five senses; especially during intimacy. To learn more about how to do that, check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever.”
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7. Red Jasper
While doing my own research on what red jasper represents, what I liked the most is it’s something that encourages emotional stability which is always a wonderful thing to have. Although it is a fiery red color, it also contains grounding properties and it symbolizes strength, courage and, another word that can always make sex more pleasurable: stamina. Since stamina is what helps both men and women to last longer during sex, anything that is a “stamina hack” earns an automatic mention when it comes to sex-themed content — including this.
8. Clear Quartz
A fun fact about quartz is it’s one of the most common minerals on this planet. When it comes to clear quartz, specifically, I like the way that it looks because it’s either a cloudy white or something that you can see straight through. As far as its symbolism is concerned, if you want to reduce physical discomfort, remove distractions and focus more on heightened levels of yourself, this crystal represents all of that. Clear quartz also encourages healing, spiritual growth and balance. To me, it seems like if you want to cultivate a spiritual or meditative (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”) experience with your partner, clear quartz is a stone to try.
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9. Shiva Lingam
I ain’t got no lies to tell you — when I first happened upon this particular stone, the first thing that came to my mind was an article that I penned for the site back in the day entitled, “Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage.” That’s because it explains what a lingam massage is and, as you can see, this crystal has that word all up in it. The history of lingam is a bit layered (you can read about it here); however, because it is considered by many to be a phallic symbol and that typically represents the penis — shiva lingam is a neutral-colored crystal that represents both sexuality as well as fertility. Shocking, right? #sarcasm
10. Pyrite
It doesn’t escape me that it’s kind of funny that I’m closing this out with a crystal that has the nickname “fool’s gold.” That’s due to its appearance. That said, it’s also a stone that has some interesting symbolism to it. Since it comes from a Greek word that means fire — of course, it’s a crystal of passion. Since it also taps into things like heightened energy, self-esteem, creativity, awakened senses and the removal of toxic thoughts — if any stone should be in your “let’s get it on” crystal collection, pyrite would be the one!
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Know what’s kinda wild? While I was on Etsy’s site looking for another moonstone, a sake popped up in my feed on what the merchant calls their “libido crystal set” — and six of the 10 stones that I’ve mentioned throughout this article are featured in the collection.
Yeah, I’ll take that as a confirmation that whether you purchase a piece of jewelry that has one (or more) of these stones or you buy a piece of crystal itself to place somewhere in your bedroom — just putting your own energy into wanting a better sex life is a powerful step in the right direction to achieving it.
And what science can’t refute is the benefits of positive thoughts and actions — crystals or not.
So, if precious stones are totally your thing — enjoy, sis. Enjoy!
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