The newly dropped trailer for the fifth and final season of Insecure just dropped and we are feeling the glowed up and growed up teas felt all throughout the two-minute preview of what's to come. Since its debut in 2016, we have laughed, we have cried, we went back and forth about being Team Lawrence, we've gotten annoyed AF by the Molly in our lives, but most of all, we have collectively felt seen in a visual representation of what it means to be a Black woman navigating through life and its many uncertainties. Season 5 of Insecure, which is set to premiere October 24 on HBO Max, is sure to be the homegoing we didn't know we needed.
But in the meantime in between time, let's get caught up on everything you missed in the trailer of what's to come this season on Insecure.
Are Molly and Andrew still together?
HBO/YouTube
At the end of season four, we were left on a cliffhanger of how the conversation between Molly (Yvonne Orji) and Andrew ended. Though their witty banter was cute, that got old real quick as the two had to make adjustments in their lives to balance love and work, but also to manage relationship pains that naturally came about as you are embarking on a new relationship with someone. While Andrew seemed willing to move, Molly seemed a bit stuck in her ways, a reality that also seemed to show its hand in her rocky friendship with Issa (more on that in a few).
From the looks of the trailer, Molly and Asian Bae are no longer a thing.
Molly is putting herself first.
HBO/YouTube
You know what they say, when a woman cuts her hair, she changes her life. From what we saw in the trailer, Molly the character is borrowing some real-life self-love juice from the actress that plays her, Yvonne Orji. Yvonne did a big chop and rocks her natural hair quite often off the screen. Molly ditching the wigs and weaves (some of the time) to embrace her natural hair in the series as well, which we love to see!
She also mentioned to her mother that she is not looking to date, she is focusing on her damn self. Since the start of the series, Molly has always placed a huge emphasis on "having it all" and that included having a time clock on having a man. To see her take a step back to prioritize herself is a huge step. Yasss sis!
Issa and Molly are working on their friendship.
HBO/YouTube
Something that fans loved and were divided on was the friendship breakup Issa Dee and Molly were going through in much of season four's overarching storyline. But, it was really real. As the two friends' lives grew and their priorities shifted, it was like they forgot to have important conversations and then their friendship suffered as a result. In the trailer, Molly can be seen asking Kelli (Natasha Rothwell) how she and Tiffany navigated a similar season in their lives. It's a testament to the fact that sometimes friends can outgrow each other, yes, but if there is effort, it might be possible to grow together.
Tiffany seems back to normal again.
HBO/YouTube
After a bout of baby blues that was explored during an episode last season, Tiffany (Amanda Seales) seems to have bounced back to being her bad and bougie self. Based off her quips in the trailer at least. Last season, she was notably detached from her little one after giving birth, so much so Kelli had to step in and fill in in areas Tiffany couldn't be a part of due to her postpartum depression. She also seems to be settling into her role as a mother.
Kofi Siriboe is in the building.
HBO/YouTube
Kofi Siriboe has been pulling double-duty starring in Queen Sugarand hit Netflix movies like Really Love. This year, he starred in Doja Cat's "Streets" music video and has been making movies as a business owner with his brand, We're Not Kids Anymore. And now sir is about to be guest-starring in the final season of Insecure? Issa Rae, you are a visionary!
Issa is still insecure about her place in the world.
HBO/YouTube
Despite the professional glow-up of Issa's character walking away from the comfort zone of her job (We Got Y'all) to pursue the dream that set her soul on fire, sis is still battling life's many uncertainties. She leveled up by pulling off an incredible event last season and from the looks of it, that move has opened career doors. But as Issa said in the trailer, she's ready for her life to be in the place where she isn't so unsure about everything. Girl, aren't we all?
Some of the career doors that are opening for her are making her feel like she's playing a role versus walking a path where she's successful in reality. It's something that a lot of us are sure to find relatable, myself included, but what's beautiful is amid the self-doubt, there are pockets of joy as she acknowledges where she's come even if she still has a way to go.
What's up with Issa and Lawrence?
HBO/YouTube
Umm, we don't know for sure if Lawrence (Jay Ellis) and Issa are still a couple. But with that earth-shattering announcement he revealed in the season four finale, we can't imagine that their second chance at love survived it. But it's quite possible that the two are doing their best to work through it. Personally, we really see it for her and Nate (Kendrick Sampson). Just saying.
Only time and the season premiere will tell us definitively where she and Lawrence stand post-baby gate.
But also, whose baby is that?!?!
HBO/YouTube
Chile, we don't know. But we have our best guesses... Sips tea.
Watch the official trailer for 'Insecure' Season 5 below:
Featured image by HBO/YouTube
- Everything We Know About 'Insecure' Season 4 - xoNecole ... ›
- Insecure Season 5 Premiere Episode, Takeaways - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
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Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
GiphyThere’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
GiphyA couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
GiphyI’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
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I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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