Jay Ellis Reveals The Truth Behind Lawrence's Return To 'Insecure'
When a breakup occurs, unless you happen to live thousands of miles away from each other or have no mutual friends, "the end" is never really the end.
You see each other at mutual meetups, shopping malls, and grocery stores and are continually faced with that awkward conversation neither one of you wants to have, which starts off with an insincere, "So, how you been?"
It's a perpetual loop of unwarranted conversation that never really ends. Luckily, this is also the case with our favorite #ExBae of all time on this season of Insecure. Jay Ellis, who plays Lawrence, recently sat down with Vulture to talk about his growing fanbase, viral hashtag, and revealed the reason why his character made a sudden return on last week's episode.
Related: 6 Things You May Not Have Known About 'Insecure' Star Jay Ellis
HBO/Insecure
After an abrupt yet seemingly never-ending breakup between the show's lead character, Issa, and her beau of several years, we were pretty sure we would never see Lawrence again. Last Sunday, Jay proved those viral fan theories wrong. When asked when his character was absent for the first few episodes of season 3, he replied:
"It's something that happens in real life. You break up with someone and you take a break. That's just the nature of relationships, the seasons of relationships, and the seasons of life, right? That's what we were seeing with Issa and Lawrence. The two of them were… not even taking a break, they were just living their lives, and for them to live their lives doesn't mean they're necessarily going to cross paths anymore."
Over the summer, word leaked that Lawrence would not be returning for season 4 of the series, and left Twitter in shambles. In fact, some fans, were so dismayed by the fact that they started a petition. Jay told Vulture:
"Yeah, somebody put a petition on Care2. Also, they reached out to me about it. They're really lovely people. They're actually really, really cool people. If you go back to the finale of episode one and you see the creation of this #LawrenceHive hashtag, which became a big thing from that finale and then obviously carried on through season two, all of a sudden for that character to just disappear and create this void…I mean, I don't think I ever expected it to grow to what it grew to be, but I hoped people would miss Lawrence. I hoped he would resonate with people and that people related to him enough where they'd be like, 'Man, I miss him, I want to see him on TV,' because you don't get to see a lot of guys like him, especially a lot of black characters of color who are going through all the ups and downs he's going through – the relationship stuff, the vulnerability."
Weeks later, another fan took project #BringLawrenceBack a step further by igniting a real protest during one of HBO's show screenings in California. Jay continued:
"Another friend sent me a video of a dude protesting in L.A. at a bar that does its own Sunday night watch party. There were two dudes standing outside protesting, obviously petitioning like crazy. So those things, the media ran wild with it, and the amount of articles that I saw were absolutely insane. I mean, the articles were insane! Anything from like, where Lawrence could possibly be and what he's doing now, to who Lawrence is with, to why Lawrence is gone, to if Lawrence is coming back and when and where he comes back. My Twitter feed was, like, blowing up for weeks and weeks and weeks! It still pops in every episode – 'where are you? When's he coming back? Why isn't he here? We need him back!' It's really cool. I don't think I'll ever be able to fully explain it."
These extreme acts of loyalty have not gone unnoticed by the Insecure actor, who says he's eternally grateful for the opportunity to shed a new, three-dimensional light on men of color in Hollywood.
Jay also affirmed, that just like many of our exes, we haven't seen the last of him.
"Next season they just got picked up for, for season four, so I'm very, very excited. But yes, I'll be around. I'll always be here."
To read the full interview, click here.
Featured image via Insecure/HBO
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images