
Adulting can be frustrating and challenging, and we all know that life gets super-hectic. Before you know it, you're too busy juggling bills, taking care of family obligations, managing everyday responsibilities, and putting out workplace fires to even think about anything close to career dreams. That's something you did as a kid, with nothing but homework, school crushes, and puberty to fret about.
Well, we beg to differ. Taking the time to not only acknowledge your wildest dreams of success, prosperity, and happiness but work toward making those dreams reality is important now more than ever. "I'm a true believer that we are human beings who are meant to grow and expand, evolve and meet new versions of ourselves over and over and over again," says Teneshia Jackson Warner, CEO of EGAMI Group and founder of The Dream Project.

Courtesy of EGAMI Group
Jackson Warner wrote The Big Stretch: 90 Days to Expand Your Dreams, Crush Your Goals, and Create Your Own Success, a book that was sparked by her own story of unapologetically dreaming big and working toward bringing career dreams to life. "I am the definition of a dreamer. I came to New York City with two bags, a Bible, and a big dream, not knowing a soul."
Early in her career, she worked as a project manager at IBM Global Services before moving on to become a general manager at Rush Communications. She then stepped out on faith to launch her own company, offering dynamic marketing strategies for major brands including Hennessy and Procter & Gamble.
"Fast-forward 17 years later: I'm in my own New York office with my own team and partners. That was a dream for me," she adds. "I wanted to be able to share any insights I've learned along the way to equip other dreamers to live the life that they dream about. I had to personally stretch outside of my comfort zone and take a leap of faith and it panned out."
Through The Dream Project, she has curated and interviewed more than 200 business, entertainment, and community leaders, from tycoon Magic Johnson to Rent the Runway founder Jennifer Fleiss. "In interviewing them or having them participate on our panels, I found that there were some universal truths across all of their journeys. My goal was to take some of those universal principles and make them digestible and simple for any dreamer to apply on their journey."
So, what can you actually do to get dreams out of your head and into real life? We know, it's great to be motivated by inspirational quotes or inspired by success stories, but what's the plan, sis? We've got you covered.
Read below to find out more about Jackson Warner's 5 types of "Career Dreamers" and how you can begin to tap into your own journey of advancement:
What are the 'Dreamer' types, and how do we know which one we might be?
Teneshia Jackson Warner: There's the 'Careerpreneur Dreamer' and this is someone who finds it important to align their passion with their day-to-day job. They don't necessarily have the same risk tolerance as an entrepreneurial person who will risk it all in the name of a dream. They are able to thrive in corporate structures or environments where there's an infrastructure and process. The 'Make It Happen Dreamer' thrives in risky environments. These people are visionaries, and they like to work for themselves. They're willing to take the risk that comes with that.
A 'Hobby Dreamer' is a professional or entrepreneur who is working in their business area, and, while they have other passions, they do not want to put the burden on their passions to take care of their families. They want to nurture their passions, but they're not going to make them the main income stream.
The 'Activist Dreamer' is a person who has the ability to see a problem in the world—a community challenge, societal issue, or social injustice—and they are compelled to do something. They will start a nonprofit or movement and dedicate their lives to [addressing] issues that impact our world.
The 'CEO Dreamer' is someone who has worked a significant amount of time in the corporate structure and they've always known that they want to be their own boss. They've made the transition from that corporate environment or that traditional work setting into a more entrepreneurial model, taking what they've learned to thrive in venturing out on their own.
You detail how a 'career stretch' is necessary in order to turn a dream into reality. What does this entail?
The career stretch is the distance between your comfort zone and your dream. Once you begin to stretch, you're expanding outside of that comfort zone. It's the expansion that is necessary for you to meet another version of yourself. I'm a big believer that you must make sure you're constantly evolving in all areas of your career.
What specifically can we do to initiate the 'stretch' and turn career dreams into reality?
My book is broken into phases. For a 'Careerpreneur Dreamer,' for example, we start by focusing on the "Dream" phase where you reflect and do some soul-searching about where you are and what's next. You really challenge yourself to do some thinking. Is the dream really yours or are you living out a dream that has expired but is safe? I encourage you to write it down and make it plain.
Second, give yourself the space to dream again. In that phase, you identify your ideal dream environment and get intentional about immersing yourself in those environments. There are other activities in that phase as well such as detoxing poor habits and taking a look at your 'Family Dreamers Ancestry' to determine what you were taught about dreaming. Were there any areas where you have limiting beliefs that might be holding you back?
Think about the end of 2022 and ask yourself, 'What are some things that I wish to accomplish but then that will move you forward to reach that dream in your career?' The "Design" phase is about taking the big-idea dream and quantifying it in a plan that can be measured. Think about that goal you want to accomplish, and think of things you need to do in the next 90 days.
It could be, 'I'm going to hire a recruiter,' or 'I'm going to commit to sending my resume to a minimum of 10 companies a week.' You map measurable goals over that time period. Be sure your goals are attainable, relevant, time-based, and specific and that the plan is as well.
Then it's the "Dare" phase in which you get comfortable with making daring moves. Let's say you think, 'I don't do well pitching,' or 'I don't do well asking for support.' This is where you have to work on getting comfortable with being uncomfortable in making daring moves in the name of the dream, and you strengthen your boldness with exercises.
The last is the "Do" phase. If you're really serious about making the 'Career Stretch' a lifestyle, you really need to be willing to stick with your dream plan for the long-term—even after the first time you lack funding, hear a no, or face an unexpected blow like the pandemic. You have to have the toughness, tenacity, and mental exercises in order to combat those obstacles when they come.
You're willing to become a 'Dream Warrior' to fight the challenges that stand between you and your dream.
How can young professionals today execute these phases, especially those who have not had the traditional in-person workplace or professional experience due to the pandemic?
Part of your job as the leader and champion of your career is to be intentional on how you build your network and be resourceful regardless of the times. If you're still in a completely remote environment, invite people to a 10-minute coffee conversation over Zoom. Send them a digital card for Starbucks. Challenge yourself to do those virtual meet-ups. I even take lunch with a person over Zoom. I call them 'Chew and Chats,' and again, lunch is on me. Create those connections, even virtually.
Also, the world is now open again in a hybrid model, and while I do think we will embrace and define new ways of working, human connection and collaboration will always be important. Keeping safety first, of course, I challenge everyone to get back out there. I took six weeks to do what I call a 'purposeful connection tour,' where I intentionally went back to building a human connection with partners, team members, and clients. And before talking business, it was about re-sparking that human connection.
It not only warmed my heart, it warmed theirs. Step away from Zoom. People do business with people, not Zoom boxes. Get outside!
Find out more about Teneshia Jackson Warner on IG @TeneshiaJWarner or via her website.
Featured image courtesy of Egami Group
This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Wondering If Your Relationship Is Stagnant? Have This Convo Before 2026.
It really is a trip that sometimes, right when I’m about to sit down and pen an article, I will feel like the timing isn’t quite right…just yet. Today’s piece is a great example of that because I was actually going to write this up a couple of weeks ago — yet I didn’t have complete peace about it at the time. As life would have it, recently, I received the confirmation that I needed for why that was the case.
The YouTube video in this intro? They feature a fairly young couple who go by Cey and Jai (fun fact: Jai is actually Jocelyn Savage’s younger sister — IYKYK). Although I don’t know how Cey ended up in my YouTube algorithm several years back, he did, and catching his content from time to time is how I ended up seeing the video where he met Jai for the first time while doing random interviews at a mall. And now, six years later, they are married. What’s really wild is they got engaged four months ago and then got married this month.
The reason why I thought they were a great way to start off this piece is because, although they’ve been together (including living together) for about five years (I believe) and Cey has mentioned getting a lot of social media pressure to propose to Jai, he said that he would move forward when he was ready which happened to be on Jai’s 25th birthday this year — and then, four months later, they eloped. Hmph. What seemed to take forever (to viewers, anyway), it ended up moving swiftly…when Cey was ready to move. And in the meantime, they both resolved to live in the moment and prepare in the meantime. Hmph. In January, they were boyfriend and girlfriend. By December, they became husband and wife. Good stuff.
The tie-in? You know, if there is one thing that I oftentimes encourage my coupled-up clients to do right around this time of the year, it's to have a conversation with their partner about whether or not they think their relationship is stagnant in some way. Synonyms for stagnant include idle, inactive, dormant, sluggish, and stale. The reason why it’s important to ponder over this is because, oftentimes, when relationships end, it’s not because people don’t care for one another anymore; hell, it’s not even that something “big” or “drastic” happened.
Oftentimes, it’s because they allowed their relationship to not develop, advance, progress — and when things aren’t moving forward, things tend to slip backwards or remain stuck…and nothing healthy can come from either of those outcomes.
A musician by the name of Matt Bellamy once said, “You have to evolve. Stagnation breeds boredom,” — and y’all, believe it or not, boredom is another big cause of break-ups. Keeping all of this in mind, I would hate for your relationship to “fade to black” in the upcoming year, simply because stagnation took over.
And so, in the few moments that are left in 2025, ask your partner the following questions. They may provide the clarity you need to know how to keep your relationship strong (or to get it back on track) over the next several months.
Are We in a Different Place than Where We Were Last Year?
GiphyBack to Cey and Jai for a second. Again, even though commenters were pretty close to being relentless when it came to wondering when Cey was going to pop the question, if you kept up with their content, even though Cey hadn’t proposed yet, one thing that you couldn’t say is that they were in the same place, relationally, year after year. For one thing, they stayed moving about (literally), and they oftentimes expressed goals that they wanted to reach, both as individuals and as a couple.
My point? If the ultimate goal between you and your partner is marriage, and that hasn’t happened yet, there is no way that 365 days have passed, and you shouldn’t be able to say that you’ve seen some relational growth, change, and progress over that period of time.
Are the two of you better at communicating? Has the intimacy between the two of you gotten stronger? Are you both better forgivers? Are you closer friends? Do you know more about one another’s wants and needs?
A stagnant relationship is one that, by definition, lacks development. If you can say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you and your partner are better and stronger now than you were this time last year, pat yourself on the back — that is a really good sign that you two are in a really great place.
Do We Both Still Want the Same Things?
GiphyOne of the best things about a healthy relationship is that it helps you to tame your ego. I say that because if you are serious about making your relationship work and last, it’s going to require compromise, sacrifice, and humility. That’s why it irks me to no end when a relationship ends, and if a person in it is asked why, they will say something along the lines of the other individual didn’t love them simply because they didn’t want what they did.
This is a great example of someone’s ego showing up because the reality is that a person can absolutely love you and even want to be with you, and still not be on the same page about what you want. This is actually a part of the reason why it’s a good idea to do some thorough vetting during the beginning stages of dating (check out “The 'Pre-Commitment Interview' Every Dating Couple Should Have” and “The 'Pre-Sex Interview' To See If You're Both In Sync.”).
Anyway, the only way to know if someone wants what you do is to ask. And if you think that is silly after being with someone for a while, well, I’ll share with you a marriage quote that I oftentimes reference in sessions: “You don't marry one person; you marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as the result of being.” (Richard J. Needham)
People change all of the time, so if you’ve been in a long-term relationship, you absolutely owe it to yourself, your partner, and the relationship overall to “check in” to make sure that you both ultimately want the same things from your dynamic. Never assume. Assumptions typically backfire — one way or another.
Is There Any Area Where You Think We Are Wasting Time?

I have always liked this particular definition of waste: “to consume, spend, or employ uselessly or without adequate return,” and when it comes to this particular article, please remember that if you are pouring into something and not getting much of a return…that is the textbook definition of wasting time, effort, and energy.
So yes, it definitely works in your and your partner’s favor to ponder if the two of you are wasting time in an area. One way to figure this out is to look through the lens of INVESTING vs. SPENDING. Whatever you all are doing, is it an investment where you are seeing a payoff, or are you just spending and not really getting much in return?
I’ll say this — if there is more fighting than peace; if you don’t have the same values; if one or both of you are acting like you are satisfied as far as intimacy goes when you really aren’t; if when you hang out, there feels like a disconnection is there; if one or both of you are walking on eggshells in order to get along, and/or spending time with each other isn’t one of your all-time favorite things to do…all of this are indications of wasting time because, again, you’re giving but…what are you really getting?
Do We Complement Where We Are Heading As Individuals?
GiphyWhen God decided (because it was him; not Adam) that it was time for Adam to have a companion, the Classic Amplified Version of Scripture states that the Lord said this: “Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.” (Genesis 2:18 — AMPC) Hmph, don’t get me started on how much nonsense I see on social media that causes me to wonder if people actually believe this. For now, I’ll just say that it’s important to peep what this verse says a good helpmate looks like: she is suitable, adaptable (that’s a good one), and complementary to her man.
Complementary is a great word. So much, in fact, that several years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “If He's Right For You, He Will COMPLEMENT Your Life.” When you complement someone, you help to complete them. This is why I wish people would really embrace how masculinity and femininity are designed to BALANCE (i.e., complement) one another. And even beyond that, when it comes to your relationship specifically, where do you and your partner complete each other? Not in the rom-com way so much as where do they “balance you out”?
A married couple who I work with, one of the things that I’m trying to get them to chill out about is embracing that their differences actually can work in their favor if they simply stopped trying to turn each other into carbon copies of themselves (another way that ego manifests, by the way). An example of what I mean is the husband is very chill and cautious in how he moves while the wife is spontaneous and likes to take all kinds of risks. If they embraced the way this could COMPLEMENT both of them as individuals, she wouldn’t be so emotionally high-strung and unnecessarily stressed, and he wouldn’t overthink his way out of potentially great opportunities.
Another favorite quote of mine is “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (Larry Dixon) Although you and your partner shouldn’t be so different that you’re constantly clashing and butting heads, it’s okay to bring different things out of each other by how you complement one another. Spend some time talking about if/how you do. It can reveal quite a bit.
What Would You Like to Accomplish, Relationally, Next Year?
GiphyRemember how I touched on the fact that boredom can lead to the demise of a relationship? As I close this out, another way to avoid stagnation in your relationship is to create plans for it.
In 2026, where do you want to travel? What new things do you want to try/attempt together? What are the strengths that you want to celebrate and the weaknesses that you want to work on? How do you want to progress spiritually? What needs still need to be met? What wants do you wish to prioritize? What habits do you want to break? What boundaries need to be set? What do you both want to get better at as far as communication goes? What can you do to become better friends, confidants, and lovers?
It’s kind of wild that, although most of us know the quote, “Fail to plan, plan to fail,” many of us literally FAIL at applying it to our relationship. Yet there is data all over the place that supports that if you want to succeed at something, planning is one of the most effective ways to do it.
Just ask Cey and Jai. #wink
Salute to them and Happy New Year to you and your man.
Here’s to plenty of progress…with barely any stagnation, chile.
Featured image by Shutterstock









