Growing up, teachers were real-life superheros. Always organized and knew what to do, regardless of the situation. They were the forefront of the school, nurturing in nature, and social workers, educators, friends, disciplinarians, and intermittent parents all in one.
And obviously, with being in the midst of a pandemic, like most life-altering cases involving kids, teachers are most affected. Beginning in the spring of the previous school year, schools were shut down and students, parents, and teachers were thrown in virtual gauntlet—a world many of them were completely unfamiliar with.
There was minimal instruction, unclear best practices, and just plain ole uncertainty.
This made me wonder, what would they have to say about the current state of teaching? What changes have they noticed, how have their students been affected, and what good and bad shifts, in educating, have developed? To answer those questions, I found four teachers willing to discuss this newfound adjustment to pandemic learning.
Here's what they told me:
Nicole Jennings on Teaching During a Pandemic:
Courtesy of Nicole Jennings
Location: Prince George's County, Maryland
Grade: 2nd
Length of being a teacher: 8 years
On what it's like teaching during a pandemic:
Teaching during this pandemic has been such an interesting experience--full of anxiety and challenges but also victories and growth. At the beginning of the year, there were so many obstacles to overcome. Students didn't know how to use the technology they had been given. Helping my parents was an arduous task due to language barriers, lack of experience with technology, and even illiteracy in some cases. The expectations of the district were extremely overwhelming for teachers, parents and students. Trying to figure out how best to help parents and students required a lot of trial and error until I figured out routines, resources and support that worked for us.
I thought that the teaching itself would be the hardest part but I have been pleasantly surprised to find that it is the most enjoyable. I really enjoy engaging with my students on various digital platforms. So many of them caught on so quickly. I like to think of them as technology experts-in-training. In some ways it feels like my first year of teaching all over again. I have to reevaluate everything I thought I knew about teaching and modify it to fit the realities of distance learning.
I feel anxious and stressed almost every single day. It has been so much harder to maintain a healthy work/life balance this year and sometimes I feel upset that I have failed at maintaining a balance. It has been hard to accept that I can not give more than I am currently giving for the sake of my mental health and wellness. We all know that teachers are woefully overworked and underpaid. I feel it this year more than ever.
On the pros and cons of distance learning:
Prior to distance learning, lack of equity has been an ongoing issue within the education system. Many students were not getting the intervention or services they needed while in the school setting. Students are "falling behind". The achievement gap is widening every day that they are not receiving the in-person instruction they need.
The hardest part of distance learning is definitely the amount of time that has to be invested into it. It is extremely time-consuming. I feel like 75 percent of my work is done beyond duty hours, after school and on the weekends. On some days, I am up planning and creating digital lessons and assignments until 11:00pm. Daily, I find myself feeling tired, tense and frustrated.
On a more positive note, everyone involved in distance learning is growing in some sort of way. I have learned a lot about my capabilities as a teacher. I have been exposed to programs and digital platforms that I probably would've never tried. Distance learning has immersed students in the world of technology. As a teacher, it is such a good feeling to watch students grow and develop their skills and interests.
I love watching my future engineers and computer scientists discovering new things while learning through inquiry. I see their curiosity growing and their ability to problem solve strengthening. If I can successfully build positive relationships with families while providing effective instruction during distance learning, I know I can do anything.
On what she wants parents and teachers to know:
Distance learning is so hard but we are trying! Please know that teachers are putting in the work daily. We know that this is especially hard for families. We are advocating for families and doing everything we can to help our students. Know that your concerns are not going unheard. We are aggressively passing them along and fighting for you!
Please be kind with us. Check on your teacher friends. Teaching during a pandemic is taxing and not all of us are OK.
My advice for teachers is to not recreate the wheel. If there is a free Teachers Pay Teachers or Nearpod lesson you can use, use it! Take it and modify to fit the needs of your students but do not start from scratch for every single lesson. Collaborate with your teammates, divvy up the workload. If you are not departmentalized, have each teammate take a subject to plan for so that you do not have to plan for each and every subject.
Do whatever you must to lessen your workload so you can reclaim and reinvest that time back into yourself.
L'Tanya Taylor on Teaching During a Pandemic:
Courtesy of L'Tanya Taylor
Location: Houston, Texas
Grade: 8th grade ELA
Length of being a teacher: 6 years
On what it's like teaching during a pandemic:
My experience during this pandemic had been hectic to say the least. Not only am I a teacher but I'm also a single mother of two school-aged children. Balancing working from home while they attending "virtual school" was challenging, but now we are all back on campus. The workload is still heavy. The only difference is now everything is digital so the teachers and the students have a learning curve. Getting "virtual students" to actively participate has also proven to be difficult.
Many students go weeks at a time before they attempt to do the work and it puts them further behind, causing greater gaps in their learning. There are also numerous students who have been unaccounted for. They have never checked in, therefore the district has to classify them as dropouts.
On the pros and cons of distance learning:
The only pro I can think of is the incorporation of technology. COVID-19 has allotted a unique way for teachers to implement instruction that is fun and engaging. Although physical classroom instruction is best, the way we now implement that instruction looks very different. Instructional practices are limited, and students and teachers are in constant fear [of contracting the virus]. Social interactions are closely monitored and highly restricted for students and staff alike.
On what she wants parents and teachers to know:
Prior to the school year, my biggest concerns were how would I build relationships with my students and what learning gaps would need to be addressed.
But now my biggest gripe is that teachers are not on-call workers. We have our own lives and our own families. We know that students and parents have concerns (we have them too) but please respect our time and office hours. Also please be patient. This is new for everyone. We are all experiencing a learning curve.
We also need parent/guardian support. Have your child on the scheduled Zoom and Google Meet sessions. Please treat their learning time at home the same way you would if they were physically at school.
And teachers, be kind to yourself. Take care of your needs, continue to build relationships with your students. And Nearpod is a life-saver.
Jassmine Smith on Teaching During a Pandemic:
Courtesy of Jassmine Smith
Location: Atlanta, GA
Grade: 4th grade/ Special Education
Length of being a teacher: 4 years
On what it's like teaching during a pandemic:
As one can imagine, this year has been the most unique of them all. My school district is currently 100 percent online, and the model is constantly being reassessed based on the number of COVID cases. As a special education teacher, it has been very difficult adjusting to virtual teaching. The level of documentation that is being requested is insane. It has doubled since going virtual.
On the pros and cons of distance learning:
Many of my students are struggling to stay attentive during lessons, as they are not used to sitting at a computer for the majority of the day. Some students don't show up for virtual instruction at all. I have enjoyed being able to work a couple of feet from my bed, but I miss being able to see my students face-to-face. There were no two days that were the same.
On the contrary, students and teachers are becoming much more tech-savvy. Virtual learning was inevitable, but we had no clue that it would come this soon.There are a lot of educational programs that offer excellent instructional support. Additionally, I truly miss seeing my students in-person and feeding off of their energy. It is difficult for students to collaborate and complete assignments together.
Most teachers are working twice as hard as they were in-person.
On what she wants parents and teachers to know:
There were many praises exclaimed for teachers, but all I could think was, "SHOW ME THE MONEY!" I thought the gratitude would have been shown by giving us a well-deserved pay increase. Instead, in my state, our pay was cut and we experienced an insurance cost increase.
I wish people knew that educators are working twice as hard to ensure that students receive the necessary instruction. In the midst of the pandemic, many districts have cut teachers' pay, and expect the same level of performance prior to the pandemic. Teachers are being evaluated on performance and students are expected to complete a standardized test, as if life has returned to normal. I personally feel that teachers are not given the grace that we are expected to give students and parents due to the pandemic.
I advise all teachers to prioritize themselves, especially in these times. We should make time to pour into ourselves so that we don't burn out by constantly pouring into others. Secondly, GIVE YOURSELF A RAISE! It is apparent that we can not wait for our states and counties to give us what we deserve. I encourage teachers to develop their passions into a side hustle. Provide yourself the lifestyle you deserve and desire.
Corine White on Teaching During a Pandemic:
Courtesy of Corine White
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Grade: 1st
Length: 2 years
On what it's like teaching during a pandemic:
Teaching during a pandemic has been tiring. Last year, school ended quickly and without much time we had to bring many resources digital. That was difficult for me because I had never taught virtually before. I was somewhat at ease because I knew that even though this was our current circumstance, it may not be for long. I was obviously wrong and now that we are expected to have Zoom school every day, testing, assignments on seesaw, and stay in constant communication with parents, it is exhausting.
On the pros and cons of distance learning:
Some pros are not having a full school day, not having to get fully dressed for the weather elements, and being able to eat whatever I want without smelling up the staff microwave. The con is that many parents and people with other professions don't quite understand the amount of work and stress that teachers are now under because of the changes.
I've been yelled at and made to feel disposable by so many parents and others that it often makes me feel like no one has our backs.
I thought the pandemic would be over in no time. I didn't think that I would be where I am now and not being able to physically go to work. I never thought that I would be teaching from a screen and trying to come up with every way to keep my scholars from falling asleep, or to stop unmuting themselves.
On what she wants parents and teachers to know:
I wish people knew that it is way more work. There's a large misconception that our jobs are easier now when, in reality, virtual learning has made our careers a lot tougher.
To other teachers out there, you are good enough. Don't get down on yourself because your students aren't understanding the material or aren't paying attention. As long as you are doing what you can, that's all you can do. Do your best not to lose sleep or not to spend time with friends/family because of work. There are teachers out there who are going through the same feelings. Reach out to them at your school or on Instagram because we are all feeling it right now.
Feature image courtesy of Jassmine Smith
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- What It's Like to Be a Teacher During Coronavirus Pandemic | Time ›
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- Teaching Through a Pandemic: A Mindset for This Moment | Edutopia ›
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A big part of the clarity that is coming through this month is due to Neptune going direct in Pisces on December 10, after being retrograde here since July. With Neptune now direct, we are able to see our inspiration and creativity a little more clearly, providing the perfect energy for dreams and manifestation to be built upon. The smoke is clearing, and it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with this newfound clarity that this transit is bringing. Mercury also moves back into Sagittarius on December 11, which is great for communication and clarity, and the adventures you were trying to see through at the beginning of November come around for you again with greater purpose and support.
On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Oh, but there are plenty of people whose egos have them thinking that they can read someone else’s mind. Then there are others who have fantasies, which create unrealistic expectations that others in their lives actually should read their mind. And you know what — both of these things can cause unnecessary stress, drama, and trauma, if folks aren’t careful.
And that’s why I think it’s important that we unpack this a bit more. Because if you’re someone who thinks that if another person truly cares for you, they should be able to read your mind, it’s time to let that ridiculous yet semi-popular notion absolutely and completely go.
Here’s why.
It’s Scientifically Impossible for Someone to Read Your Mind
There are a couple of reasons why I am starting this off with R&B singer Avant. For one thing, I don’t think that he gets nearly enough flowers and secondly, clearly, this is a more-than-fitting song for today’s topic, wouldn’t you say? Because, lawd, there really is something that makes some of us feel all warm ‘n fuzzy about the mere thought of a man telling us that he is so in tuned with us that he can basically read our mind.
Hmph. Problem with that is, as I said in the intro, it is scientifically impossible (for us and for AI to do, praise the Lord!). And yet the fact that so many individuals think that they defy scientific data and research is oftentimes why there are so many breakdowns in communication — because if you run on assumption (that you can read someone’s mind) without clarification and confirmation, you can create issues that didn’t exist before you decided to fall for your own mind-reading theories.
Now to be fair, while science is still trying to figure out why we can’t read minds, what is sure is that we do have the capability to perceive the thoughts and actions of others if we’re willing to pay really close attention. However, do keep in mind that reading and perceiving are different. Reading? It’s about being able "to apprehend or interpret the meaning of" and "to anticipate, expect, or calculate by observation." Perceiving? It’s all about “to become aware of, know, or identify by means of the senses” and “to recognize, discern, envision, or understand.”
And already, do you see the differences? So much certainty comes with reading while perceiving is about humbling oneself (bookmark that) to not try to know everything but instead to try and understand what is transpiring. And since no one person (or their mind) is ever truly static, that is a huge part of the reason why believing that you can read someone’s mind — no matter how close you may be to them — is futile. You can change your mind on a dime. Others can do the same. Learning to perceive what is going on instead of assuming that you can “read” folks is far more beneficial.
Besides, you might be surprised by a particular demo who thinks that if you are truly who they need you to be, you will read their minds — and boy, once you know who they are, that may cure you of the whole “read your mind” ish…quick, fast and in a hurry.
The Expectation Is Oftentimes Rooted in Egomania
GiphyWhile doing a bit of research on this topic, I thought it was interesting that a particular type of person kept coming up. Can you guess which one? A NARCISSIST. What I kept noticing is a telling sign of a narcissistic individual is they expect others to read their mind.
I must admit that I was caught off guard by that at first because narcissists and their damn egos are so out of control (bookmark that) that it would seem like they would be more focused on acting like they know the thoughts of other people. Here’s the thing, though — the reason why narcissists want others to read their mind is because they want you to do things like guess what they want and need before they ask — and they want that to happen because they believe that they are so damn special that you should put in the extra blood, sweat and tears to figure it all out. Hmph. Now that tracks.
Another reason why narcissists want you to be able to read their mind is so they can manipulate and deflect. Meaning, if you say and do things based on what you thought they wanted you to, should everything crash and burn, they can dodge accountability and blame you for it. Hmm, does reading someone’s mind seem romantic and beautiful now? SMDH.
And again, all of this is tied to ego because, at the end of the day, mind-reading is a form of control and narcissists are definitely very controlling people. And honestly, mind-reading is as well because why do you even want to know someone’s private thoughts before they share them and, at the same time, why would you want someone to have that kind of power in your life either? “Eww” is what immediately comes to my mind. “Yuck” is what follows.
So, why is it that so many people think that it’s a good thing to have someone read their mind — I mean, the ones who don’t show narcissistic tendencies, that is? Good question.
5 Reasons Why Some People Wish Someone Would/Could Read Their Mind
GiphyOkay, so ego and pridefulness aside, what would be some other reasons why people think that it’s such a wonderful thing if someone who they are in some sort of intimate relationship with can read their mind.
1. They are caught up in Disney and rom-coms. One day, I am going to do an article on all of the ways that Disney and rom-coms have destroyed the reality of relationships. For now, I’ll just say that the scripted tales of both have caused a lot of people to think that if someone loves them, they should be able to read their mind. Nooo…if someone loves you, they should care to know what is on your mind. And that brings me to the second point.
2. They aren’t as good at communicating as they think. Are you a good communicator? One way to know if you are is you’re able to clearly articulate your wants and needs — because really, if you are able to do that, why should anyone even need to read your mind? Feel me? Let’s move on.
3. They want someone else to work harder at their relationships than they do. I say it in my sessions often — it’s beyond crazy to think that someone should work harder at figuring out what your wants, needs and expectations are than you are willing to express them. Hmph. It makes me think of a friend of mine who says that “should” is a dangerous word. What she means by that is saying that someone should do or not do something simply because YOU THINK that’s how it “should” go is a surefire way to stay disappointed and even be disillusioned. No, your man shouldn’t just know what you want every year for your birthday. Did you state it? If not, why aren’t you playing fair? Who has time for all of the guessing games and then getting penalized if they guess wrong? Stop it.
4. They think it’s the sign of a healthy relationship (it isn’t). Anyone who knows me knows that I am always and forever going to be Team Healthy over Team Happy and my reason why never changes. Only children expect to live in a world where they are happy all of the time — and yes, there are a lot of childish people out here. People who want their mind read? They tend to live in happy land. Meanwhile, a healthy relationship knows that clear communication, mutual respect, keen listening, patience and understanding that humans make mistakes are foundational to its success.
5. They are lazy. And yes y’all, some people want others to read their mind because they are lazy and it really is just as simple as that. Thing is, while they are being passive aggressive, dropping hints or giving the silent treatment so that you can figure out whatever it is that they…want you to figure out, that tends to take more effort than simply speaking up. Ridiculous, chile.
How to Let the Myth Go
GiphyGee, after reading all of this, suddenly reading minds just seems like a lot of silliness with a sprinkle of drama and potential trauma, doesn’t it? And it’s all because some people choose to treat something that is a myth like it’s a bona fide fact. SMDH.
And what if you happen to be one of those individuals? How do you break free? COMMUNICATE. Openly, clearly and maturely share what’s on your mind and heart because, the true tell of a solid relationship isn’t that someone can read your mind; it’s that they can retain what you’ve already stated.
Less reading. More perceiving. That’s the secret sauce.
And when you accept this for what it is, you will realize that it’s far better for you, your partner and your relationship to stop expecting the impossible and to accept what is actual: that learning your partner, as they strive to do the same thing with you, is better than you both assuming that you know what…maybe you do, maybe you don’t.
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Author Frank Sonnenberg once said, “People can’t hear what you don’t say. Thinking isn’t communicating” — and I think this is a perfect place to bring all of this to a close.
Find the kind of relationship(s) where intention is so strong that mind-reading isn’t even desired.
At the end of the day, it really is as simple as that.
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