Being on top used to be my least favorite sex position. Call me a pillow princess, but I preferred my partner to be in control, and being on top puts me in the driver's seat. Additionally, riding is exhausting and intimidating. Once I realized cowgirl was the ultimate way to take control of my pleasure, my perspective changed. It turns out you don't have to have Megan's knees to ride, in fact, there are several knee-friendly riding techniques that are both comfortable and pleasurable, and also provide mind-blowing orgasms.
Known for its versatility and popularity, the cowgirl position allows the person on top to control penetration depth, intensity, and thrust angle. For most women penetration alone rarely leads to orgasms, but in this position, you have full control of the penetration. In cowgirl, there are many options for stimulating clits by manipulating positions. Your partner might know your body and how to satisfy you, but you are the only one who knows exactly when to push deeper, faster, or “a bit to the left!” Being on top also allows you to replace shyness with sexiness.
On top, you're in your partner's line of sight, which can make anyone feel shy. Nevertheless, if you follow a few hints and tips, you can ride him like a rodeo without getting tired or hurting your knees and finally throw your shyness out the window.
Rock instead of bounce.
It's common for the person on top to bounce violently up and down for what feels like an eternity in porn. Porn, however, is entertainment, not life. While bouncing is great, rocking back and forth can allow you to explore more angles and sensations, and it's better for your knees. When you're rocking instead of bouncing, it's easier to involve your clit. In the beginning, it can help you get used to sex on top by grinding rather than bouncing. Straddle your partner and lower yourself onto their penis before slowly rocking them back and forth as they lie flat on their back.
Use pillows for support.
You can add pillows to kneeling if it becomes too hard on your knees. By propping a pillow underneath both knees, you can bounce more easily, and you will cover less ground. Using sex pillows or wedges, the receiving partner can draw the penetrating partner deeper inside by placing one under their booty.
Put it in reverse.
The reverse cowgirl (where you are in the same position, but with your back to your partner) is another option. You will be able to bend over and let your knees loosen a bit, as you can control the movement with your hands - placed on your partner's thighs. When you do reverse rider on your knees, you can easily shift your body forward and back to find the right position. In addition, it allows your partner to see your booty, which is always nice to see. Similar to the traditional cowgirl position, reverse cowgirl gives you total control over how you move.
Leaning backward will give you more space to stimulate your own clitoris. It can be done with your hands or with an external sex toy like a vibrator. If you’re into booty play, this will give your partner all the access they could imagine to give it some love.
Let him do the work.
Being on top does not mean you need to ride them all the time. There are positions that require them to do some of the work too. For example, lay on your partner while they move their hips, or squat above them while they work. The point is, being on top doesn’t mean it’s all about you doing the work. Ask your partner to move you around if you're new to cowgirl or need a little guidance. Try out different movements, speeds, and penetration levels that feel good to you both so that you don't have to be the one coordinating everything.
Use a chair.
Using a chair for cowgirl is pretty straightforward. You're doing classic cowgirl just on a chair. Ask your partner to sit in a chair the same way as they normally would. There's no need to seek out a chair that's uncomfortable and relatively wide-based for this, but climb on top of your partner as soon as they're seated, straddling them. Your shins can rest along the outside of your partner's legs if your chair is wide enough. If it’s a tighter squeeze, you may have to rest your feet and shins along your partner’s thighs.
Once you’re there, your partner can lean back or pull you in close—and you can do the same. You can grind forward and backward, slide up and down, as you normally would. Just make sure the chair is sturdy enough so it won't fall over as soon as things get started.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by David Jakle/Getty Images