

Being on top used to be my least favorite sex position. Call me a pillow princess, but I preferred my partner to be in control, and being on top puts me in the driver's seat. Additionally, riding is exhausting and intimidating. Once I realized cowgirl was the ultimate way to take control of my pleasure, my perspective changed. It turns out you don't have to have Megan's knees to ride, in fact, there are several knee-friendly riding techniques that are both comfortable and pleasurable, and also provide mind-blowing orgasms.
Known for its versatility and popularity, the cowgirl position allows the person on top to control penetration depth, intensity, and thrust angle. For most women penetration alone rarely leads to orgasms, but in this position, you have full control of the penetration. In cowgirl, there are many options for stimulating clits by manipulating positions. Your partner might know your body and how to satisfy you, but you are the only one who knows exactly when to push deeper, faster, or “a bit to the left!” Being on top also allows you to replace shyness with sexiness.
On top, you're in your partner's line of sight, which can make anyone feel shy. Nevertheless, if you follow a few hints and tips, you can ride him like a rodeo without getting tired or hurting your knees and finally throw your shyness out the window.
Rock instead of bounce.
It's common for the person on top to bounce violently up and down for what feels like an eternity in porn. Porn, however, is entertainment, not life. While bouncing is great, rocking back and forth can allow you to explore more angles and sensations, and it's better for your knees. When you're rocking instead of bouncing, it's easier to involve your clit. In the beginning, it can help you get used to sex on top by grinding rather than bouncing. Straddle your partner and lower yourself onto their penis before slowly rocking them back and forth as they lie flat on their back.
Use pillows for support.
You can add pillows to kneeling if it becomes too hard on your knees. By propping a pillow underneath both knees, you can bounce more easily, and you will cover less ground. Using sex pillows or wedges, the receiving partner can draw the penetrating partner deeper inside by placing one under their booty.
Put it in reverse.
The reverse cowgirl (where you are in the same position, but with your back to your partner) is another option. You will be able to bend over and let your knees loosen a bit, as you can control the movement with your hands - placed on your partner's thighs. When you do reverse rider on your knees, you can easily shift your body forward and back to find the right position. In addition, it allows your partner to see your booty, which is always nice to see. Similar to the traditional cowgirl position, reverse cowgirl gives you total control over how you move.
Leaning backward will give you more space to stimulate your own clitoris. It can be done with your hands or with an external sex toy like a vibrator. If you’re into booty play, this will give your partner all the access they could imagine to give it some love.
Let him do the work.
Being on top does not mean you need to ride them all the time. There are positions that require them to do some of the work too. For example, lay on your partner while they move their hips, or squat above them while they work. The point is, being on top doesn’t mean it’s all about you doing the work. Ask your partner to move you around if you're new to cowgirl or need a little guidance. Try out different movements, speeds, and penetration levels that feel good to you both so that you don't have to be the one coordinating everything.
Use a chair.
Using a chair for cowgirl is pretty straightforward. You're doing classic cowgirl just on a chair. Ask your partner to sit in a chair the same way as they normally would. There's no need to seek out a chair that's uncomfortable and relatively wide-based for this, but climb on top of your partner as soon as they're seated, straddling them. Your shins can rest along the outside of your partner's legs if your chair is wide enough. If it’s a tighter squeeze, you may have to rest your feet and shins along your partner’s thighs.
Once you’re there, your partner can lean back or pull you in close—and you can do the same. You can grind forward and backward, slide up and down, as you normally would. Just make sure the chair is sturdy enough so it won't fall over as soon as things get started.
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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I Tried It: 3 Low-Maintenance Wigs That Will Elevate Your Look This Season
There's nothing like the feeling you get when your hair is done. It can instantly boost your confidence and put you in a great mood. I've never been a stranger to hair trends and I often experiment with the latest braided styles and colors.
But there are moments when I just don't feel like doing my hair. I'm natural and a lot of times I will braid or twist my hair up and cover it with a scarf or turban. However, when I crave a different look without the hassle of styling, I reach for a wig.
I've always had a love-hate relationship with wigs. Sometimes, I struggle to get them to lay flat and don't get me started with the bonding glue process. So when it comes to wearing wigs, I like to keep it nice and breezy around this b--- (word to Katt Williams), especially in the summertime.
That's why I jumped at the chance to try these three versatile wigs from Luvme Hair. Each one offers a unique look and is surprisingly low maintenance, which aligns perfectly with my philosophy that wearing wigs should make life easier. Let’s dive into the three styles below.
Headband Wig
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This was the first wig I tried on, and I instantly fell in love with it. So much so that it took me weeks to even consider trying the other two. I’m partial to colored hair, especially blonds, browns, and reds, so I was skeptical about the jet black hair. However, I think the color, combined with the curl pattern, worked surprisingly well for me.
One of the things I really liked about this wig was that I didn’t have to braid my hair down first. I could simply throw it over a low ponytail, which is the epitome of a low-maintenance style. The headband has combs inside and velcro on the ends, ensuring a secure fit.
Half Wig
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I had never worn a half wig before, so I faced some challenges. I cornrowed the bottom half of my hair where the wig would sit, but I believe this made it more difficult to use the combs. It might just be me though. I straightened the top part of my hair to blend it with the wig, which looked cute for about five minutes.
Firstly, I have a brown/blonde color mix on the ends of my hair, and the half wig is black. So, I had to hide some of the color (I didn’t have time to dye the wig). Secondly, straightening my hair myself is always a hassle because it never lasts long. Add to that the summer humidity, and you get a hot mess. Despite all this, I managed to get some cute pictures before things got out of control, and that’s all that matters, right?
Would I consider this a low-maintenance hair style? Yes and no. I think it’s unrealistic for me during the summer, especially since I enjoy summer activities. However, when the weather cools down, I’ll definitely rock it, dyed, of course.
Bob
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Now, this is the wig I was nervous about. I never had a bob and I didn't think I would like it. But once I put bobiana on, my mind instantly changed. I finally understood why the gworls rave about the bob so much. It was giving boss. It was giving grown woman. It was giving the bob means business. Iykyk. It was the ultimate statement.
I will say when I first put it on, one side of my wig just would not lay flat. It took some trial and error, but I finally managed to get it to look good. With the bob, I highly recommend braiding your hair down first as small as you can so it can lay as flat as possible. I really liked the ash blonde color, which is perfect for summer. The length also makes it a great low-maintenance style for the season, so you don't have to worry about the hair making your neck sweaty.
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