

‘Drinking my water and minding my business’ has always been my mood, but with all the talk around hydration lately, I’ve started wondering what exactly is the right way to drink my water. On one hand, there is the school of thought that subscribes to drinking a gallon of water a day. There’s a school of thought that subscribes to somewhere around the ballpark of 2-3 liters of water per day. There are also water enthusiasts who wouldn’t dare touch a bottle of purified water over alkaline water. And then there’s the side of the internet who are head to head about drinking plain water and its benefits and adding enhancements to “superpower” it.
As with other aspects of health, figuring out how to hack your way to better drinking water has been making waves on the internet. I, for one, enjoy my daily fix of chlorophyll water which is said to be an internal deodorizer, clear your skin, and reduce inflammation in the body among other things. Plain water is said to be out, while 'enhanced' water is said to be in. Allegedly this is the case if you’ve been hitting your daily water intake consistently but still don’t feel hydrated and/or if you find yourself peeing almost immediately after drinking said water. If that sounds like you, according to TikTok, you could be drinking your water wrong.
And you might need to unsubscribe from plain drinking water. According to creators like @calibabyoficial, leveling up your water with baking soda, Himalayan pink salt, and lemon or lime is essential for proper hydration. But how true is this?
I reached out to dietitian Rosie Mensah, MPH to learn more about the plain drinking water versus enhanced water phenomena and to demystify why some of us are following the ‘hydrate, hydrate, hydrate’ mantra to a T but still might be feeling thirsty.
You’re drinking all of this water, why do you still feel thirsty?
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First things first, if you are waiting to drink water until you are feeling thirsty, chances are, you are already dehydrated. Mensah describes thirst as a sign of mild dehydration. So you should be consuming water frequently enough throughout the day that you do not get to this point and so that the body is properly hydrated. However, if you feel that you have been drinking enough water and your thirst levels persist, Mensah suggests that this could be pointing to an underlying health concern.
She continues, "If you are feeling excessively thirsty, there could be something else going on, especially if you are staying hydrated regularly. That’s something that I would encourage folks to see a health professional about because it could mean there are other bodily issues happening and could mean other conditions."
Is going to the bathroom after you drink water normal?
Whenever I think of drinking enough water, I also think about how many bathroom breaks are going to ensue shortly after. In the recent season of The Real Housewives of Potomac, one of the ladies shared that her kidney stones came from not drinking enough water each day because she feared needing to use the restroom too much while she had things to do. And I get it, who wants to drink water just to have to get up and release it shortly after? I believe that's why all the conversation around 'proper' hydration has started.
There had to be a connection between not drinking enough of the right water and using the bathroom too quickly to allow your body to retain the benefits of drinking water, right? Turns out, not exactly. It's all about the size of your bladder and the fact that it's only possible to retain a certain amount of fluids before it gets full. And once it's full, it's time to use the bathroom. The bladder holds approximately 16 ounces of fluid. If you are consuming more water than that, within an hour or two you are absolutely going to need to use the bathroom frequently.
"If you are drinking more, you are gonna have to go to the bathroom more. That's just the reality," Mensah adds. "But that’s like a good thing. It’s moving through your body and you want that. Your organs and your cells are being nourished."
So yes, going to the bathroom is normal. Your bladder is full and it's doing what it's supposed to do. If you want to decrease how often you go without being dehydrated, consider pivoting from chugging your water first thing in the morning to sipping throughout the day and limiting your intake to no more than 8 ounces each hour.
Does adding baking soda to water increase pH?
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The loaded question. The answer might depend on the expert, but according to Mensah, there are few studies showing the health benefits of adding baking soda to plain drinking water to alkalinize it. Based on my own research, the tactic came up most often when referring to pool water maintenance, which makes sense. I have, however, also seen other experts touting the pH and hormone regulation benefits of adding a little baking soda to your water. Mensah says that the human body already does a pretty good job at maintaining a healthy pH balance, which again makes sense.
"Whatever you are consuming, putting into your body, your body has mechanisms to put it at a functioning pH," she explains. "You could have plain water, plain tap water that is filtered to maintain the same benefits as drinking other forms of water. I think, again, a lot of it could just be a marketing tactic. But in terms of health benefits, you can get the same benefits from regular plain water."
It could depend on the expert, but if you want to add baking soda to your water for the benefits, consider talking to a professional about your individual dietary needs.
What about adding Himalayan pink salt to your water?
Adding Himalayan pink salt to your water is how you make water referred to as sole water. It is said that by adding Himalayan pink salt to your drinking water, you are adding trace minerals to it that make it easier for the body to retain these minerals. It is also believed to help with electrolyte balance, digestion, energy, and sleep. But, there is also not a lot of conclusive research to support these claims.
If you want to add Himalayan pink salt to your water because of its trace minerals in hopes of further nourishing the body, be my guest. But similarly to the baking soda mentioned above, it's not something you have to do to your water. Drinking plain water is more than enough.
What does adding lemon or lime to water do?
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We've all heard about adding fruit to water to get the benefits of said fruit from the water we're drinking, but adding those slices might just be an aesthetic choice more than a health choice. Although there are many articles around the internet supporting adding lime, or better yet lemon, to your water (especially detox water content) and the benefits of it, there are few studies that support such claims as it relates to adding lemon and lime to the water you drink specifically. However, people have reported having glowing skin as a result of drinking lemon water regularly and better digestion (although those things could be from the water more than the citrus element of the drink).
"I think a lot of it people [feel] like it makes the flavor [of water] better because I know there are some people that say they just don’t like to drink water," Mensah notes. "But adding those things can make it just a better drinking experience for you. But in terms of like health, there’s really not much that it does."
Does adding salt, lime juice, or lemon juice to water make it electrolyte water?
But what about electrolyte water? Surely, some benefits support adding electrolytes to water like lime juice, lemon juice, or salt to your water. And according to Heathline, there very well may be. However, these findings also support the fact that tap water and bottled water also contain electrolytes, just a lot less concentrated than an electrolyte-enhanced sports drink like Gatorade or Powerade. If it brings you joy to add extra sodium, trace minerals, and lemon or lime juice to your water to reap even more benefits of the minerals responsible for facilitating some important bodily functions, do you. But as Mensah has shared, you don't have to.
Electrolyte water or electrolyte-enhanced drinks like sports drinks and Pedialyte are usually recommended in cases of severe hydration, illnesses that cause fluid loss, intense workouts that last beyond an hour, long periods of heat exposure, or if you lose a lot of sweat and/or other fluids during exercise. In all of these cases, speak to your doctor about the best way to replace the electrolytes you might lose in these circumstances. Outside of that, regular water should have you and your day-to-day hydration needs covered.
How much water do you need to drink to be hydrated?
According to our expert Mensah, hydration is all relative and differs from person to person based on individual needs, body shapes, and sizes. "The recommendation of around 8 glasses [a day] is really just to ensure people are staying hydrated," she clarifies. "But that doesn't necessarily factor in other fluids that you have [during the day]. If you are a tea drinker, you may opt for more tea than clean water. And that’s still fine because it’s still a nourishing beverage. But it really depends on the individual."
Someone who is more physically active might have a daily water intake that signifies they require more water. Someone who drinks more coffee might also require more because of the amount of fluid they excrete as a result. Mensah explains that while you can track your water throughout the day to make sure you are getting enough, it's not always a necessary step as long as you are making sure you are consuming water frequently.
Is drinking plain water enough to hydrate you?
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This article came about because of all the different information swirling in the social media sphere and the question it left me thinking about. The short answer to this one is yes, drinking plain water is enough to hydrate you. But if you want to make things more enticing to your palette or more nourishing to the body by trying out tips from TikTok experts here and there, then do it. Just know if you don't want to succumb to the pressure of suggestions, that's okay too. As long as you're getting those ounces in daily, and aren't excessively thirsty, your hydration levels are fine.
As with everything mentioned in this article, Mensah advises speaking with a health professional about your own individual needs, what your body might be lacking, and nutritious choices that could help improve those matters.
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Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Once upon a time, I knew a married couple who told me that they wouldn’t even discuss with each other who they found to be attractive on television because, in their minds, that was a form of cheating. They’re divorced now, and although there are a series of reasons why, it was always strange to me that things were so restrictive within their relationship that they couldn’t even share a fleeting thought about how someone looked.
Thinking about them kinda-sorta inspired this piece because they caused me to reflect on the times when some of my clients have come to me, semi-freaking out, and it was because their thoughts about someone had gone beyond “Hey, she’s pretty” or “Hey, he looks good.” Instead, they were starting to fantasize about certain folks, and they weren’t sure what to do about it, especially when some of those fantasies were transpiring while they were engaging in sex with someone else.
You know, it’s been reported that somewhere around 50 percent of people do indeed have fantasies about other people while having sex with another person. And that is definitely a high enough number to tackle some things about the topic here.
If you’re someone who fantasizes about other individuals, especially sexually, here’s some intel into why that could be the case, along with when it gets to the point and place where you might want to consider actually doing something about it.
What’s a Fantasy and What Exactly Causes Them?
Whenever you think of the word “fantasy,” what immediately comes to your mind?
Personally, what I find to be interesting is the fact that the dictionary says that there are actually a lot of things that can be considered a fantasy: your imagination, hallucinations, visions, ingenious inventions, illusions — I mean, there is even a genre of fiction that falls into the fantasy category. However, when it comes to what we’re going to discuss today, a psychological term for fantasy is “an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream.”
And yes, before we get to the end of all of this, that definition is going to answer quite a few questions as it pertains to the topic of this particular piece. But first, more about the origin story of fantasies.
Apparently famed neurologist, Sigmund Freud spent some time analyzing fantasies and came to the conclusion that, more than anything else, a fantasy represents something that is either a suppressed urge or desire and when you stop to think about what you imagine, what your visions are, what you may long to invent — that certainly tracks. However, something that you should also keep in mind about fantasies is that, oftentimes, they are rooted in few boundaries and can even go well beyond what is considered to be reality (which is something that is based on facts and truth).
Oh, something else that needs to be kept in mind about fantasies is that they are typically relied on as a mental form of escape from something or someone (bookmark that).
And now that fantasies are more clearly defined, if your immediate question is, “Is it wrong to fantasize?” — no, I certainly don’t think that. What I do believe, based on what a fantasy is, though, is if you are fantasizing a lot about a particular person, place, thing or idea, it would be a good idea to ponder why that is the case — why is that a suppressed desire for you, why are you using that as a mental escape and perhaps, the most important question of all, does your fantasy come with any limits?
Now let’s build on top of this…
Now What Causes Folks to Fantasize About Other People?
As I was doing more research on the topic of fantasies, I came across an article entitled, “What Happens In Our Brains When We Fantasize About Someone.” The author of it started the piece out by talking about a cool connection that she made with someone on a plane, only for her to find herself fantasizing about him once they parted ways. As she went deeper into her story, she mentioned a word that definitely needs to be shared here: heuristics.
If you’re not familiar with it, heuristics is simply a mental shortcut. For instance, if you find yourself needing to make a quick decision (check out “Before You Make A Life-Altering Decision, Read This.”), you may rely on heuristics to do it (even if it’s subconsciously). The challenge with that is oftentimes heuristics will only provide you with a limited amount of data and information, and relying only on that could cause you to not make the best choice, if you’re not careful. And boy, when heuristics jump into your fantasy space — well, something that immediately comes to my mind is celebrity culture.
Ain’t it wild how people will be on social media, speaking so confidently, about someone—or someone’s relationship—as if they personally know them (when they absolutely don’t)? I mean, just because someone is attractive or you’ve seen them carry themselves well in an interview or two, that doesn’t automatically mean that they are the ideal person or that they are someone to set your own dating standards by. If you’re not careful, though, heuristics and fantasies may encourage you to think otherwise.
That’s because the combo will try and get your brain to jump to all sorts of conclusions and, if you don’t keep that in check, it could result in you making premature, counterproductive, or even straight-up reckless decisions — because remember, a fantasy tends to be about suppressing an urge or desire.
Honestly, whether you are in a relationship or not, if you are fantasizing about a particular individual, understanding why you are doing that should definitely be explored.
However, if you are with someone and you’re fantasizing about someone else, you really shouldn’t ignore what is transpiring because, although by definition, there’s a good chance that whatever and whomever you are fantasizing about will never come to pass, the fact that it’s taking up some of your mental and emotional space, that needs to be acknowledged. Because if there is something that you want or need, and you seem to believe that your fantasies are better at supplying that for you than the reality of your relationship, why is that?
Let’s keep going…
What Does (or Could) It Mean If You Fantasize About Someone Else During Sex?
It’s pretty common that a random song will come to mind whenever I’m writing an article. Today? It was Guy’s “My Fantasy.” Then a sitcom did — King of Queens, and the episode when Doug and Carrie were talking about his sexual fantasies. The song is about images that the fellas randomly have about beautiful women. The episode was about Carrie wanting to dictate to Doug what and whom he could fantasize about because some of his sexual fantasies made her feel uncomfortable or intimidated.
And both of these are a pretty solid intro into whether there is something wrong with sexually fantasizing about someone, especially while having sex with someone else. Well, before getting into all of that, I think another article that I read on the topic brings up a pretty good point — that it’s important to think about where your fantasies are coming from: your imagination, things you see on social media, porn that you may have watched, people who you actually know…and if it’s the latter, is it someone from your past or someone from your present?
Yeah, knowing the source of your fantasies can definitely help you to understand how “deep” into your fantasies you might be.
What I mean by that is, seeing a beautiful man one time and randomly thinking about what it would be like to have sex with him on some beach vacation is quite different than constantly thinking about your ex, the sex you used to have with him and then fantasizing about it For one thing, the beautiful guy, you will probably never have access to. That ex, though? Well, at the very least, that is a bit more realistic, right?
Then there’s the fact that, again, a fantasy is a suppressed urge or desire. When it comes to the beautiful man, is it his looks that you long for, or is it something deeper? And that ex of yours? Lawd, now why, when you have your own man in your own bed, is your ex “scratching some sort of itch”? Because we all know what they say — “he’s your ex for a reason,” so why is he creeping up into your intimacy space now that the relationship is over? Is something unresolved?
Are there sexual needs that he met that your current partner isn’t (check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”)? Is something currently transpiring in your current relationship that you are using fantasies about your ex to escape from?
You see, although when it comes to the topic of fantasizing about others when you’re having sex with someone else might seem like the a cut-and-dried, “Don’t do it, end of discussion” — as someone who works with couples for a living, I think the bigger concern isn’t if another guy comes into your mind during sex with your partner…it’s more about WHY is that happening to begin with. Because if you need to escape from where you are, if you can’t be present with your partner, something is definitely up.
When Should You Be Concerned About the Fantasies You Are Having?
During the last several months of breaking up (because we all know that sometimes breaking up is a process) with the last boyfriend whom I will have in this lifetime, I recall fantasizing about other people while having sex with him. It’s because I really wasn’t attracted to or interested in him, sexually, anymore — but I was a bit fearful of what it would mean to let the entire relationship go.
And boy, is that a huge red flag because I wasn’t fantasizing about some random famous person one time during sex — I was relying on images, my imagination, and previous experiences with other people to literally get me through the act. NOT. GOOD.
Y’all, one of the greatest and most profound forms of communication and connection between two people is sexual intimacy, and so, when it transpires, it really should only be about the two of them. That said, should you freak out over a thought about someone who creeps up into your mind every once in a while? Chile, more people have that happen than they will ever admit out loud.
On the other hand, should you worry if you’re like I was? I’ll put it this way — you should definitely be concerned because the last thing that you should be feeling during sex with someone is like you are suppressing what you need and/or that you want to escape from the moments that you are experiencing with them.
And yet, if that is indeed the case, though, what should you do?
Start with doing some sex journaling. Write down your fantasies, the sources of them, and why you are leaning on them in this season (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”). If they are tied to unrealistic situations, be real with yourself about that. If they are rooted in potential possibilities, do some journaling about how much you are “feeding into” that reality and what you think would be the wisest way to move forward, both for your sake as well as your relationship.
Talk to your partner. Each relationship is different, and so, while I’m not going to recommend that everyone just blurt out that they’ve been thinking about having sex with their co-worker or college sweetheart while having sex with their partner, I do think that the suppressed urges and desires (in general) should be mentioned. Sometimes, fantasies are birthed out of boredom (check out “If You're Not Having Great Sex, This Is (Probably) Why” and “Common Sex Problems Couples Have (& How To Fix 'Em)”) and doing something like creating a sex bucket list (check out “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”) can breathe new life into your bedroom.
Plus, sharing some of your deepest thoughts, feelings, and needs (in a kind, thoughtful, and mature way) can cultivate more emotional intimacy with your partner, and that can definitely be a good thing.
Consider seeing a sex therapist. If, after doing both of these things, the fantasies seem to be getting stronger and louder, you might need to make an appointment with a reputable sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). They may be able to help you to “connect some dots” about what’s going on that you wouldn’t have considered without their help, because sex therapists are trained in helping individuals sort out the mental and emotional sides of intimacy, not just the physical ones.
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Are fantasies bad? They aren’t. However, when it comes to sexual ones, a quote by Benjamin Franklin absolutely comes to mind: “If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.”
And that, right there, should be a guiding message for how you should process the fantasies that you do have.
Amen? Sho’ you right.
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