

‘Drinking my water and minding my business’ has always been my mood, but with all the talk around hydration lately, I’ve started wondering what exactly is the right way to drink my water. On one hand, there is the school of thought that subscribes to drinking a gallon of water a day. There’s a school of thought that subscribes to somewhere around the ballpark of 2-3 liters of water per day. There are also water enthusiasts who wouldn’t dare touch a bottle of purified water over alkaline water. And then there’s the side of the internet who are head to head about drinking plain water and its benefits and adding enhancements to “superpower” it.
As with other aspects of health, figuring out how to hack your way to better drinking water has been making waves on the internet. I, for one, enjoy my daily fix of chlorophyll water which is said to be an internal deodorizer, clear your skin, and reduce inflammation in the body among other things. Plain water is said to be out, while 'enhanced' water is said to be in. Allegedly this is the case if you’ve been hitting your daily water intake consistently but still don’t feel hydrated and/or if you find yourself peeing almost immediately after drinking said water. If that sounds like you, according to TikTok, you could be drinking your water wrong.
And you might need to unsubscribe from plain drinking water. According to creators like @calibabyoficial, leveling up your water with baking soda, Himalayan pink salt, and lemon or lime is essential for proper hydration. But how true is this?
I reached out to dietitian Rosie Mensah, MPH to learn more about the plain drinking water versus enhanced water phenomena and to demystify why some of us are following the ‘hydrate, hydrate, hydrate’ mantra to a T but still might be feeling thirsty.
You’re drinking all of this water, why do you still feel thirsty?
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First things first, if you are waiting to drink water until you are feeling thirsty, chances are, you are already dehydrated. Mensah describes thirst as a sign of mild dehydration. So you should be consuming water frequently enough throughout the day that you do not get to this point and so that the body is properly hydrated. However, if you feel that you have been drinking enough water and your thirst levels persist, Mensah suggests that this could be pointing to an underlying health concern.
She continues, "If you are feeling excessively thirsty, there could be something else going on, especially if you are staying hydrated regularly. That’s something that I would encourage folks to see a health professional about because it could mean there are other bodily issues happening and could mean other conditions."
Is going to the bathroom after you drink water normal?
Whenever I think of drinking enough water, I also think about how many bathroom breaks are going to ensue shortly after. In the recent season of The Real Housewives of Potomac, one of the ladies shared that her kidney stones came from not drinking enough water each day because she feared needing to use the restroom too much while she had things to do. And I get it, who wants to drink water just to have to get up and release it shortly after? I believe that's why all the conversation around 'proper' hydration has started.
There had to be a connection between not drinking enough of the right water and using the bathroom too quickly to allow your body to retain the benefits of drinking water, right? Turns out, not exactly. It's all about the size of your bladder and the fact that it's only possible to retain a certain amount of fluids before it gets full. And once it's full, it's time to use the bathroom. The bladder holds approximately 16 ounces of fluid. If you are consuming more water than that, within an hour or two you are absolutely going to need to use the bathroom frequently.
"If you are drinking more, you are gonna have to go to the bathroom more. That's just the reality," Mensah adds. "But that’s like a good thing. It’s moving through your body and you want that. Your organs and your cells are being nourished."
So yes, going to the bathroom is normal. Your bladder is full and it's doing what it's supposed to do. If you want to decrease how often you go without being dehydrated, consider pivoting from chugging your water first thing in the morning to sipping throughout the day and limiting your intake to no more than 8 ounces each hour.
Does adding baking soda to water increase pH?
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The loaded question. The answer might depend on the expert, but according to Mensah, there are few studies showing the health benefits of adding baking soda to plain drinking water to alkalinize it. Based on my own research, the tactic came up most often when referring to pool water maintenance, which makes sense. I have, however, also seen other experts touting the pH and hormone regulation benefits of adding a little baking soda to your water. Mensah says that the human body already does a pretty good job at maintaining a healthy pH balance, which again makes sense.
"Whatever you are consuming, putting into your body, your body has mechanisms to put it at a functioning pH," she explains. "You could have plain water, plain tap water that is filtered to maintain the same benefits as drinking other forms of water. I think, again, a lot of it could just be a marketing tactic. But in terms of health benefits, you can get the same benefits from regular plain water."
It could depend on the expert, but if you want to add baking soda to your water for the benefits, consider talking to a professional about your individual dietary needs.
What about adding Himalayan pink salt to your water?
Adding Himalayan pink salt to your water is how you make water referred to as sole water. It is said that by adding Himalayan pink salt to your drinking water, you are adding trace minerals to it that make it easier for the body to retain these minerals. It is also believed to help with electrolyte balance, digestion, energy, and sleep. But, there is also not a lot of conclusive research to support these claims.
If you want to add Himalayan pink salt to your water because of its trace minerals in hopes of further nourishing the body, be my guest. But similarly to the baking soda mentioned above, it's not something you have to do to your water. Drinking plain water is more than enough.
What does adding lemon or lime to water do?
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We've all heard about adding fruit to water to get the benefits of said fruit from the water we're drinking, but adding those slices might just be an aesthetic choice more than a health choice. Although there are many articles around the internet supporting adding lime, or better yet lemon, to your water (especially detox water content) and the benefits of it, there are few studies that support such claims as it relates to adding lemon and lime to the water you drink specifically. However, people have reported having glowing skin as a result of drinking lemon water regularly and better digestion (although those things could be from the water more than the citrus element of the drink).
"I think a lot of it people [feel] like it makes the flavor [of water] better because I know there are some people that say they just don’t like to drink water," Mensah notes. "But adding those things can make it just a better drinking experience for you. But in terms of like health, there’s really not much that it does."
Does adding salt, lime juice, or lemon juice to water make it electrolyte water?
But what about electrolyte water? Surely, some benefits support adding electrolytes to water like lime juice, lemon juice, or salt to your water. And according to Heathline, there very well may be. However, these findings also support the fact that tap water and bottled water also contain electrolytes, just a lot less concentrated than an electrolyte-enhanced sports drink like Gatorade or Powerade. If it brings you joy to add extra sodium, trace minerals, and lemon or lime juice to your water to reap even more benefits of the minerals responsible for facilitating some important bodily functions, do you. But as Mensah has shared, you don't have to.
Electrolyte water or electrolyte-enhanced drinks like sports drinks and Pedialyte are usually recommended in cases of severe hydration, illnesses that cause fluid loss, intense workouts that last beyond an hour, long periods of heat exposure, or if you lose a lot of sweat and/or other fluids during exercise. In all of these cases, speak to your doctor about the best way to replace the electrolytes you might lose in these circumstances. Outside of that, regular water should have you and your day-to-day hydration needs covered.
How much water do you need to drink to be hydrated?
According to our expert Mensah, hydration is all relative and differs from person to person based on individual needs, body shapes, and sizes. "The recommendation of around 8 glasses [a day] is really just to ensure people are staying hydrated," she clarifies. "But that doesn't necessarily factor in other fluids that you have [during the day]. If you are a tea drinker, you may opt for more tea than clean water. And that’s still fine because it’s still a nourishing beverage. But it really depends on the individual."
Someone who is more physically active might have a daily water intake that signifies they require more water. Someone who drinks more coffee might also require more because of the amount of fluid they excrete as a result. Mensah explains that while you can track your water throughout the day to make sure you are getting enough, it's not always a necessary step as long as you are making sure you are consuming water frequently.
Is drinking plain water enough to hydrate you?
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This article came about because of all the different information swirling in the social media sphere and the question it left me thinking about. The short answer to this one is yes, drinking plain water is enough to hydrate you. But if you want to make things more enticing to your palette or more nourishing to the body by trying out tips from TikTok experts here and there, then do it. Just know if you don't want to succumb to the pressure of suggestions, that's okay too. As long as you're getting those ounces in daily, and aren't excessively thirsty, your hydration levels are fine.
As with everything mentioned in this article, Mensah advises speaking with a health professional about your own individual needs, what your body might be lacking, and nutritious choices that could help improve those matters.
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Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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10 Women Tell Me Why They Made The Decision To Be Estranged From Their Parent(s)
Although there are many quotes that I have used in these articles throughout the years, I’d be almost shocked if the one that hasn’t been included the most is “Adulthood is surviving childhood.”
I thought about that one, again, recently, when I checked out a BuzzFeed article entitled, “People Are Just Now Realizing They Had An 'Eggshell Parent' And The Ways It's Secretly Impacting Their Adult Lives.” If you’ve never heard of “eggshelling” before, it’s a term that is used for if you felt like you had to walk on eggshells as a kid because your parents' emotions were super erratic and hella unpredictable. SMDH.
Personally, that is just one of the things I experienced while growing up, although the main reason why I’ve been estranged from my mother for (I think) about six years now (I honestly haven’t really been keeping track at this point) is because she simply doesn’t respect my boundaries. Even well into my adulthood, she has refused to do it and it was messing with my inner peace and personal growth on a few different levels — and y’all, I don’t care who it is, no one should have that kind of power over someone else’s life (if you want to read more about my journey with estrangement, I tackle the topic in my latest book).
And before some of you come with the ever-so-manipulated Bible verse “Honor your father and mother” (Exodus 20:12), I hope you also remember that there is a Scripture that says, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4 — NKJV) To provoke is “to stir up, arouse, or call forth (feelings, desires, or activity)”; know what else it is: “to anger, enrage, exasperate, or vex.” Funny how it is not preached or taught nearly enough that parents are absolutely not supposed to raise their kids or treat their adult children in a way that angers, enrages, exasperates, or vexes them — and think about it: when’s the last time you heard a sermon on that? I’ll wait.
Besides, unless you’re someone who has made the courageous decision to put distance between the person/people who’ve raised you, you honestly don’t get how much of a sacrifice it can be. Very few of us are flippant about that decision. Very few of us saw our adult life without our parent(s) in it. Very few of us wanted to deal with all of the “fallout” that comes with making that kind of choice because listen, for me, it’s almost like being in witness protection in the sense of having to also leave certain people who are associated with her alone as well because either they also don’t respect boundaries or they try further victimize me by attempting to impose their opinions into something that they absolutely shouldn’t (for instance, when I shared what I went through with her, one of my closest friends at the time, more than once called me “petty”…yeah, he had to go; you don’t have to defend why you need to protect yourself…if you are doing that, those are unsafe people you are talking to).
It’s not like I’m rare either. In fact, it’s been reported that close to 30 percent of adults are currently estranged from at least one of their parents (you can read about it here, here, here, here, and here). And with that being said, today, we’re going to hear from 10 women (well, technically 12 if you include the videos at the beginning and end) as they share their own reasons why they made the decision to go “no contact” with their own parent/parents.
If you are estranged, I hope you will see that you are not alone. If you aren’t, I hope it will help you to have more compassion for those who have made this kind of choice. Because although “adulthood is surviving childhood” is true for many of us, it actually wasn’t supposed to be that way. And so, we’ve had to take great lengths to go from “surviving” to “flourishing”…even if that meant doing it without the ones who — alongside God, of course — created us.
Article continues after the video.
*Middle names are used so that people can speak freely*
1. Michelle. 32. Estranged from Her Mother for Four Years.
“My mother is a narcissist — only I didn’t know it because I didn’t have much to compare her to because she kept me away from a lot of…everything. Ironically, that is a telling sign that you’ve got a narcissistic parent: they think you are an extension of them, so they try and make you do everything just like them. Since they are so bad at respecting boundaries, they don’t care how old you are — they think they have a say in every decision that you make because their ego is bigger than their love.
It took me years of therapy to recognize this but once I did and I told my mom that she was hypercritical, that she used to pit me and my siblings against each other, that she only knows how to gaslight and manipulate — she played the victim and told me that if I couldn’t accept her as she was, we couldn’t have a relationship.
That’s another thing about narcissist: they hate accountability. I think there should be more articles about parents who are estranged from their kids because they pull that ‘my way or the highway’ BS. I didn’t exactly leave my mom, but I did tell her what I wasn’t going to tolerate. We haven’t spoken in four years, ever since I drew that line. She left because she didn’t know how to humble herself, and I am fine with that. Arrogant people are toxic to be around.”
2. Iyan. 36. Estranged from Her Parents for 11 Years.
“I don’t think that a lot of parents get that they act like their kids should idolize them, which is crazy. We’re not toys or puppets who are supposed to do whatever they say, whenever they say it. Even as a parent myself, I think there is a difference between a child’s individuality and a child obeying me. Too many other parents have too much ego to think the differences through. To your question — I am estranged from my parents because they disapproved of who I chose to marry. He’s not the same faith as them but I don’t think that would even matter because they damn near betrothed me when I was a kid.
They wanted to choose my career path, my husband, my role in church — everything. It got to the point where they were disrespecting my husband, our relationship, and my feelings, and so it was time to boomerang their own Bible and remind them that when you get married, you ‘leave and cleave’ to your spouse and move on from your family. If your family accepts that, they can be in your life. If not, you’ve got to move on. They chose for me to be estranged, not me. I put my husband first, just like I was supposed to.”
3. Jahkai. 29. Estranged from Her Mother for Four Years.
“Sometimes I think that people just have children so that they can have someone to boss around as kids and intimidate when they become adults. My mother is one of those people because it’s like her whole existence centers around trying to force me to live the life that she wants me to live. I used to be so afraid of her, even if that just meant afraid of her rejection, that I would go along with it.
Then I got pregnant with my daughter and saw that she wasn’t even going to respect me as a mom — and when I saw signs that she was going to try and pull that shit with my own child? The claws came out. I tried expressing my concerns and setting some boundaries, but she dismissed my feelings and walked right over my boundaries, so she had to go. There was no way that she was going to try and raise the child I birthed. My child needs peace. So do I.”
4. Gillian. 24. Estranged from Her Parents for Almost Two Years.
“I’m bisexual. That’s the beginning and end of it. I personally think it’s creepy when a parent can be so invested into their grown child’s sexuality that it ends up wrecking their own world. You sleep with who you want to sleep with, and I will do the same.
My parents don’t see it that way. They told me that unless I stop loving women, we have nothing to talk about. You only love me if I love who and how you love? That doesn’t sound like love at all.
I don’t expect my parents to agree with my life or even like it. I just don’t want you penalizing me because we are different. Seems really immature to be any other way…to me, anyway.”
5. Aubrie. 27. Estranged from Father for Four Years.
“My father always wanted me to be an accountant, and I hate math. That’s insane. That’s what happens when you don’t make the time to get to know your own children. So many parents are egomaniacs in that way — just because I look like you doesn’t mean that I am you. Until my sophomore year in college, I just held my tongue and suffered through my education because when I was living at home, I didn’t really have a choice, and when I went to school, my parents paid for my education.
They didn’t want me to have any debt, and I appreciated that, but my spirit was going into debt anyway because my dad had me on a path that I didn’t like or want, and my mom was too weak to speak up for either one of us. By my junior year, I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to get student loans, so that I could start over and major in English. That pissed my dad off two ways because I was changing my major and I was going to take on debt.
We’re not estranged in the classic sense. It’s more like he doesn’t come to the phone whenever I call, and he grunts words over the holidays. So, I call less and go home even less than that. We’re headed towards ‘no contact’ if he doesn’t get over the fact that he has a life, and so do I.”
6. Lameeya. 41. Estranged from Her Mother for Eight Years.
“My mother? I just don’t like her — I never really have. I can’t stand how we’ll all agree that you should choose your friends wisely, but when it comes to your blood, it’s like you should be all in their lap simply because they are related to you. Toxic is toxic, and my mother is the embodiment of that. She plays mind games. She manipulates. She gaslights. She’s spoiled and entitled. I would never pick her as a friend. She drains me in every way. It’s like whenever I would even sense that she was going to call or come around, I would get hives, and it got to the point where it didn’t make sense that I should suffer just because she’s my mother. Who came up with that?”
7. Sloane. 25. Estranged from Her Mother for One Year.
“I grew up COGIC. If you know, you know. When you’re a kid, you don’t know any different or better, but once I started to seek out my own path, I realized that Christianity just wasn’t for me. My mother damn near lives at church and so, of course, I was declaring that I wanted to go to hell in her eyes when I told her that I had chosen the Baháʼí faith. Christians can be so rude. Somehow, they want you to respect what they believe, but they are so comfortable preaching hell and damnation if you don’t think like them.
Anyway, a part of why I chose Baháʼí is because it’s very peaceful to me, and religion never brought me peace in my mother’s house. Now that I’m all about this peace-filled life, anything that is ‘anti’ it has to go. She was on the top of my list. If you can’t respect what makes me ‘me,’ why are you here? It’s just been a year now. If we remain out of contact, that’s kind of on her, but I have no desire to hear her preach every time we speak. Be my mom. I don’t want a pastor.”
8. Torrin. 33. Estranged from Her Parents for Six Years.
“You have your own dysfunctional issues going on if you think that you owe someone your sanity simply because they birthed you. A good parent doesn’t just give you life — they provide a safe environment for that life, and my parents didn’t.
My mother was hell on wheels, and my father was a weak man who let her be that way. She was controlling, erratic, and exhausting, while he just let it all happen.
I recently read that Khloe Kardashian said that her mom didn’t like it when she first started therapy. Controlling parents never do. It took me a lot of therapy to stop beating myself up mentally the way that my mother did emotionally and sometimes physically, but once I got that she was the problem and healing was the solution, I had no problem letting them both go: her for being abusive and my father for being complacent.”
9. Kristine. 40. Estranged from Her Mother for Six Months.
“You always want your parents to get along with your husband — I just didn’t bet on my mother loving him more than me, especially now that we are divorced. That man cheated on me, more than once, and although I didn’t tell my mom while we were married about it, once we separated and I explained why I made what was a really difficult decision for me, she kept finding excuses for him and even tried to make me feel bad for not trying to make it work. Divorces are hard, and the last thing I needed was my mother trying to ‘beat me up’ for standing up for myself.
Now I’ve got questions about her marriage because if you think that I should tolerate nonsense, have you been tolerating your husband’s? Has he been tolerating yours? You get a certain age, and you start to wonder how much projecting your parents do onto you. Anyway, we haven’t talked to each other in six months. She and my ex apparently still go out to dinner, though. You two enjoy.”
10. Madolyn. 45. Estranged from her Father for 20 Years.
“I had an abusive father. He was an alcoholic while I was growing up, and so fear instead of love kept me in communication with him once I became an adult. The plot twist is, he got clean while I was in college, but he suddenly had all kinds of amnesia about the pain that he caused. His apologies were sh-t like ‘I don’t remember that, but if you need me to apologize, okay.’ So, our lives were a living hell, and that’s all you’ve got because it hurts you too much to face it? Ain’t that a bitch.
The last time we spoke was right before I turned 25. I think someone is more harmful when they can’t own their sh-t than when they are actually doing it, because that means they could do it again. No thanks. I’ll take wholeness.”
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As you can see, being estranged from a parent, going “no contact” with them, it has many layers, reasons, and scenarios. For me, as I listened to all of these women, what did come to my mind, though, is — how beautiful is it that, if the “beauty for ashes” in their stories is they had the strength to become self-aware, self-sufficient and healthy adults in spite of the cracks in their foundation, then there is a silver lining in it all. You should never feel guilt or shame for protecting yourself in ways that your parents absolutely should have. NOT. EVER.
And so, the sacrifice was well worth it — because ladies, look at you now. Salute.
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