

After a month full of historical moments and memorials, of extreme highs and ground-shaking lows, the Own The Shift Wellness Event on Saturday was perfectly timed to shift my mindset and energies for 2021. Centered around topics ranging from money management to wellness to finding your voice, tangible and inspiring takeaways were shared amongst boss women to channel the readiness to step fully into owning the next transition of self and wealth. For me and hundreds of other ladies, it was the mental reset needed to tackle the rest of the year. From the inspiring opening statements from xoNecole founder Necole Kaneto the bevy of gems dropped from each speaker to the infectious laugh of Gia Peppers; Own The Shift was a phenomenal event to start this year.
To "own the shift" is to possess a curiosity within yourself, the courage to not ignore what you discover, and the unshakeable faith to stand firm in what you need to get what you want in life. Or, as host and multimedia journalist Gia Peppers put it, "learning how to own my shift as I walk into this next chapter (of life and career)." Across the range of panelists, we saw common themes about realizations, intentions, and dreams manifesting come into play. It was two hours of impactful, soulful, and dedicated advice to truly empower and motivate like-minded women. My notebook is filled with all the gems I wanted to savor, but here are the biggest takeaways I received from the #OwnTheShift event!
The Fundamentals of Awareness and Affirmation-Setting
Wellness Strategist Toni Jones shared several keys on how to own your shift through affirmations, honesty, and patience. The first step is being aware of your design to operate more healthily. By honing in on that awareness, you can find the discouraging narratives that are limiting the divine orchestration for what's possible in your lives. According to Toni, it's only after those steps that you can truly begin to own your shift.
Toni dropped so many gems in the first 30 minutes, along with making excellent analogies for how to think of yourself - especially when marketing and such. What is your campaign? How do we advertise to ourselves? You have to create affirmations that are true to you, and you alone. You have to give yourself new content to focus on, a new narrative to derive from. It's only by creating those intricate campaigns for ourselves that we can own the shift and step into our greatness.
"How do we create our own marketing campaigns for our greatness, for our potential, for our possibilities?"
Owning Your Genius + Prioritizing Your Needs
It's often said you need to shift your mindset to make and maintain a certain level of wealth, especially if you didn't grow up around money. But financial expert Tonya Rapley took it one step further and emphasized the importance of knowing your genius and prioritizing your financial needs to build and scale wealth. During Saturday's event, Tonya explained why a major part of "owning your shift" is understanding your particular zone of genius is, and understanding what you can and cannot learn. If you don't understand what level you're at, you won't be able to find successful resources to scale your business. As Tonya points out, a great first step is to find a coach who specializes in your niche and has worked with individuals who are in your shoes.
Once you fully understand your strengths and weaknesses personally and professionally, you can then implement tactics to achieve your business goals. At that point, prioritizing your needs against those goals will help to scale and maintain your business and wealth.
"If you have more than three goals (for the year), then you have none. You can't do it all."
The Power of Equanimity
For me, the word "equanimity" has followed me around since roughly 2017, when Dave Chappelle aptly named his comeback comedy special, Equanimity and The Bird Revelation. So, when best-selling author Lalah Delia encouraged hundreds of ladies to lean into more equanimity in 2021, I felt my entire soul fill up.
Equanimity is defined as the "evenness of mind especially under stress". It's truly an ethereal state of mind that disconnects from the chaos of life and centers the mind on peace and harmony. For Lalah Delia, it is the mindset that has helped her own the shift in her own life, especially with the uncertainty of 2020. It is something we all can tap into and maintain for ourselves; an aspect of life that is completely self-owned. The everyday practice of equanimity trains our physical bodies to understand that peace doesn't come from external outcomes like we are trained to believe. It allows us to practice a higher power of alignment and builds the fundamental skill of balancing ourselves.
"No matter how the energy of stress enters into your energy field, you're able to tap into equanimity, which means poise, composure, inner peace, and balance."
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Courtney is a contributing writer, based in Puerto Rico by way of Tennessee. Interested in the intersection of fashion and culture, she has an affinity for fashion, empowerment, and really good tacos. Keep up with her on Instagram (@hautecourtxo).
Luxury Hairstylist On Viral 'Hey Boo' Texts & Professionalism In The Hair Industry
As Black women, our hair is our crowning glory - whether we paid for it or not. We take pride in how we wear and take care of our hair. As with everything, hair care and hair styling have evolved over the years. Long gone are the days of Blue Magic (although I hear it’s making a comeback).
Now, we have a plethora of creams, oils, conditioners, shampoos, and stylists to choose from. Beyond wearing our natural curls, we have a range of options, from wigs and sew-ins to tape-ins, I-tips, and K-tips. So much choice! But you know what they say about too much of a good thing...
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
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Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
Saweetie On Healing, Self-Discovery, And Why She’s "Dating Her Career" In 2025
Saweetie is stepping into 2025 with a renewed sense of purpose and self and an unwavering commitment to her career. The 31-year-old rapper is the cover star of InStyle’s Spring 2025 music-themed digital issue, where she opens up about her transformative journey to Africa, how she’s embracing divine timing, and why she’s leaving distractions behind as she gears up for the release of her debut album.
While 2021 appeared to be a year of big wins for Saweetie career-wise, the "NANi" artist didn't hide the fact that the year also marked a "traumatic time" for her life as she navigated heartbreak following a very publicized relationship. At the time, shaving her head was her way of starting over.
Recalling her headspace back then, she told InStyle, "I thought life would get better, but girl, life just kept life-ing… Surrendering to God and the universe has actually gotten me places. I used to be a control freak. I used to try to micromanage everything. I think we resort to micromanaging everything because we feel helpless."
In the time since, Saweetie has been deep in her introspection work, embarking on a self-discovery journey to Africa inspired by a DNA test that revealed she had 51 percent African ancestry. What she found as the result of the life-changing trip was not only a professional evolution but a spiritual one as well.
"In Africa, they're all going with the flow, they're not rushed. What I found is [that] when you surrender to divine timing, everything falls into place, rather than trying to force something to happen,” she shared with the publication. “I feel like I found my voice in Africa," she said later.
Saweetie's evolution didn't stop with her voice, in fact, her time abroad allowed her to heal and peel back layers of self-protection she had unconsciously built. She continued, "I think that's why I've been soul-searching because I wanted to have pride in who I am as a woman. Like, where do I come from? What do I believe in? What do I stand for? What do I not stand for? What do I love? What do I not love?
"And because I went through a lot of those emotions in Africa, it helped me pull back so many layers of this wall that I put up…"
Speaking of what she loves and what she doesn't love, Saweetie also gave a glimpse into her romantic life and let it be known her relationship status is "dating her career." While the "Richtivities" Queen has had her fair share of high-profile relationships, she is entering her focused era.
Saweetie shared that in the past, she let herself get "slightly distracted" but she now proudly proclaims that anything in her life that isn't right can go left because it's alignment over everything. "Anything that may be trying to compete with my goals, with my ambitions, with my priorities… I no longer second guess my career and if you can't understand it, then respectfully, get out of my way."
For the full cover story, check out InStyle's Spring 2025 digital issue here.
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