Well, the next time we met up, she told me she had met someone and was moving to Houston to live with him. Imagine my surprise and concern. Later, I’d find out that this decision, like so many other elements of their relationship, flowed naturally and organically. Their whole partnership has been full of peace and vulnerability.
Fast forward to today’s conversation, they’re still living together, celebrating four years of marriage, and planning to create a family. And while this stage of their story sounds generally normal, the way they got there is nothing but. Check out the "How We Met" feature below to see how a couple who never spoke on the phone and lived in different states ended up in a loving marriage full of ease, art, and authenticity.
Photo courtesy of Amanda Wicks and Will Ford
Walk me through your ‘How We Met’ story.
Amanda: We met on Instagram (laughs). He followed me first, and I followed back because he does art, and I was intrigued by that. Honestly, we followed each other for a while before we connected. But I remember one day I saw a post where he had on a Martin t-shirt that I liked, and that sparked our conversation. He ended up telling me he made the shirt and actually mailed me one. So when I got it, I made a post wearing it, and that’s where the conversation started. Since that day we’ve communicated every day since.
Will: Yeah, I initially saw her on a short-hair Instagram page and followed her because I thought she was attractive. I actually showed her to my co-workers on one of our monthly outings as an example of my “type” – something I had never done. But one thing I will say is, I noticed she had on a Nina Simone shirt in one of her photos, that’s what got me. It showed she had more depth.
I guess that answers my next question. Did you have an initial attraction to each other?
Will: (Laughs) Yeah, I did.
Amanda: For me, no. I just wasn’t looking at him through that lens. I didn’t follow him because he was attractive. I don’t follow people online because of that. I actually remember a time when we were going back and forth, and I was like, “Aye, you kinda cute.” It was a specific moment. Once I started looking through his page more often, I started to view him that way, but it still was more of an acknowledgment. We really connected primarily because of our creative interests.
So, how did it go to the next level?
Amanda: I was in Nashville, and he was in Houston. But I’m somebody where if I feel like doing something, I’m going to do it. I had been meaning to go to Houston for a while to see a friend, so I felt like it was the perfect combination of a circumstance. We had been talking a lot, and I knew I liked him as a person and really wanted to meet him, but of course, I was aware of the idea that it could blossom into more. I remember I sent him a text saying, “Would you think I was crazy if I pulled up to Houston?”
Photo courtesy of Amanda Wicks and Will Ford
What was your reply? Did you think she was crazy?
Will: In my mind, I was like, I don’t know. (Laughs) I wanted her to, though, so I wasn’t going to say yeah. It was a little wild, but I encouraged it.
Okay, so tell me about the date.
Amanda: I don’t know if you’d call it our first “date,” but the first time we met, we went to a skating rink. I was a little nervous about meeting him in person. Like, what if we don’t have chemistry – that was in the back of my head a little. But I brought my friend with me as a buffer, and thank God I did because he was so quiet the whole night. I literally can’t think of one thing he said the entire time. But the saving grace was that we had built a rapport. We reconnected the following night and were together until 5 a.m. – just sitting there talking. We ended up spending the whole weekend together.
Will: I’m socially awkward if I don’t know you. Also, before the date, I didn’t know what she sounded like or anything because, that’s another thing, we hadn’t talked on the phone. (They both really don’t like phone calls, so everything was through texts at this point.) I guess I could say I was kinda nervous, too. I had never met someone through social media, and then here I was, meeting her in person at a skating rink. I hadn’t skated in years, I was hoping I didn’t fall. But we had just been talking so much that I was open to it.
What made you want to take that risk?
Will: She has a level of authenticity that I’ve never seen in any other woman before, and once I saw her, it solidified that. I knew I wanted her around.
Amanda: I don’t think it was anything specific. It’s not hard for me to connect with people. But there were no red flags. We align across the board. That was different. We really connect on how we see the world.
"She has a level of authenticity that I’ve never seen in any other woman before, and once I saw her, it solidified that. I knew I wanted her around."
Photo courtesy of Amanda Wicks and Will Ford
Out of curiosity, what are your love languages?
Amanda: I connect with all of them. I think it just depends on what I’ve been lacking. I appreciate words of affirmation because I’m so big on actions that I like those bold statements of love, and of course, I appreciate quality time. The older I get, the more I appreciate physical touch, but that’s not something I need. With receiving gifts, I like thoughtfulness, and I like giving thoughtful gifts, too. But acts of service is for sure my biggest one. I love when someone considers me and makes my life easier. That speaks to me most.
"I love when someone considers me and makes my life easier. That speaks to me most."
Will: I think it all depends on how I’m feeling, too. But probably also acts of service. I like how Amanda will buy me deodorant when I run out (laughs). She just does so much all the time to show that I’m thought of.
At what point in your connection did y’all have the “what are we” conversation?
Will: I don’t think we ever had that convo. We never defined anything, we just kinda went with how it was going. However, I knew I wanted it to be more serious when I went to visit her. She had been coming to Houston once a month, and I went to Florida (she was there for work) to see her. I realized I felt comfortable coming into her space, too. That gave me that last little bit of whatever I needed.
Amanda: Yeah, I can’t say I had a defined moment like that. But again, as we had more and more interactions, there were just no red flags. The more we thought about it, the more we realized no matter where we went relationship-wise, we were adamant about being a part of each other’s lives. We never had the “talking to other people” conversation or anything. But we did both understand we weren’t going anywhere. Eventually, it graduated to convos around building a life together, but even that was over six months in. I just liked him as a person.
Have there been any negative revelations that your partnership and marriage have taught you about yourself?
Amanda: I’ve always felt that partnership is supposed to make the other person’s life easier. For me, it was a struggle to let someone help me in all the ways I didn’t really know I needed help. As I started having less capacity, I had to realize that it doesn't work anymore. It was hard for me to acknowledge and ask for help. I think that’s something I am still coming to terms with, even with other relationships in my life.
Will: I think I’m learning and still learning how to get out of my head. I’m the kind of person who always has to visualize stuff before it happens. And this relationship is the first thing that I don’t do that with. Of course, we plan stuff, but I know it’s gonna be good regardless. It allows me to stay in the moment. If I can do that with this, which is the most important thing to me, why can’t I do that with other things?
Photo courtesy of Amanda Wicks and Will Ford
What challenges have you faced together?
Will: For me, the preconceived challenge was living together. I’ve never lived with a woman before. Even in my previous relationship, it was long-distance. I’m also the type of person that likes my space, but as soon as she got here, that was out the window. It was so smooth it made me feel stupid for questioning it.
Amanda: I’m grateful to say we don’t necessarily have challenges between each other together. But we have been struggling with infertility and health issues. Our biggest challenge thus far is trying to get pregnant. Even articulating that makes me realize I’m grateful it hasn’t caused a rift between us. I think we have been able to face it in a healthy way. But that’s an example of how having someone else there can be helpful. I was so functional as a full-blown individual doing everything by myself.
So, in my head, I don’t need anyone, but having someone there who is happy to support me has taught me it’s okay to welcome that. It’s made us stronger because it’s taught us how we both function under duress – it’s good to know it’s not terrible (laughs).
"Our biggest challenge thus far is trying to get pregnant. Even articulating that makes me realize I’m grateful it hasn’t caused a rift between us. I think we have been able to face it in a healthy way."
What are some of the shared values that are important to your relationship?
Will: How we see life, what we’re here for, and how you’re supposed to treat people. It sounds really simple, but it’s not as common as you think.
Amanda: We value being really good people – without strings. We both don’t value money, but we value stability. So we don’t have to endure the “why are you not hustling” arguments. We were both stable people individually, and we came together. Also, we both value meaningful connections, alone time, reflection, and family. That guides us in what we do and how we build a life.
Finally, what is your favorite thing about each other?
Amanda: I’ll say one of my favorite things about him is that he’s brilliant. I view myself as a smart person, but in my head, he can do what I’m doing ten times faster. There are times I want to push myself to do stuff, and I’ll just ask him because I know he can do it. It’s incredible.
Will: My favorite thing about her is how people see her. Being a witness to how important she is to other people’s lives is amazing. Standing to the side and seeing how she affects them is really special.
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Feature image courtesy of Amanda Hicks and Will Ford
xoNecole: What can fans expect from your new album, and what inspired the songs and vibe?
Jekalyn Carr: Growth and original Jekalyn Carr. It’s been four years since I recorded an album. Within that time period, I’ve been able to expand my mindset when it comes to music and understand that it is okay for me to tap into other styles. [The] message is still the same, and I love every bit of it.
With this album, I wanted to give people a bit of a different view of Jekalyn. Not just traditional but other things. Like we’re going to Jamaica on this album, gospel hip-hop, and other things. I really want them to see that and, most importantly, to give them the message that it is their time to stand on the mountain of victory and to declare their testimonies.
I think this is an album to reveal to you the heart of God for you and what He wants for you—even the song I released on pre-order, “God of War.” There are certain fights that God wants us to fight; however, when it’s beyond you, it’s on Him. And so, you have to understand he wants to go to war for you. Not only go to war for you, but bring you your victory. You just have to open up and allow Him to do that. In return, you are thankful and grateful.
Jason Kempin/Getty Images
xoN: You have an amazing voice. When you chose to pursue entertainment professionally, what led you to gospel?
JC: I grew up in church, for one. And then No. 2, I just always loved it. If I were to ever sing something else. I feel if I were to ever sing any song, I’m always going to just add, “Thank ya, Jesus!” [Laughs] I love singing this type of music that just really gives people hope.
xoN: And your songs are indeed inspirational and freeing! With a voice like yours and the success you've had, there must be a routine that grounds you. What are three must-do things you have to do before a performance, so you can get into worship and connection?
JC: Well, first, sleep. No. 2, definitely prayer. No assignment is the same. It’s always something different for each place where I am. And 3, hydrate. I gotta have a lot of energy going out on stage.
xoN: Your generation is revolutionizing how social is being used, and you have more than 830,000 followers on Instagram alone. As a gospel artist, what is your take on staying connected with fans using the platform? What’s your approach?
JC: It’s very important to stay connected. One of the biggest reasons is, I can’t go everywhere, however social media is everywhere. I’m able to stay connected to my followers all across the world. I think it’s very important. It’s also a sense of connection that you can’t explain.
You really feel like it’s your social media family. It hits differently. It helps you remain touchable, too.
Every now and then, I make sure I respond. I may not be able to respond to everybody, but [it’s about] just being open-hearted so that they know I am touchable.
Paras Griffin / Contributor/Getty Images
xoN: You’ve appeared in the Will Packer-produced film, 'Praise This,' you've launched Jekalyn Beauty, and you have your own radio show, 'Jekalyn Carr eFamily Affair Show.' Why did you choose to pursue these industries as well, and how do you balance it all?
JC: These are things I’ve always wanted to do and gifts that were in me. It was just a matter of time when I started to fully operate in them. I just believe in doing things at the right time. I started singing first, but it wasn’t until I started speaking that everything else fell in line for me, including my music, so that’s the same thing with fashion, with the TV, with radio. I love all things beauty, skincare, makeup.
I love all these things. It’s not that it hasn’t been there. I just like to wait for the right time to bring it to the world. It’s been going really great.
xoN: Specific to the beauty brand, what key things do you want it to be known for that stand out in the market?
JC: I was very involved in it. It’s bigger than having a product and just putting my name on it. I wanted a product that I can use, and that has helped me. I was using these products during the pandemic. Even when it comes to growing my hair and taking care of my skin, I wanted to make sure that this stuff works. We’ve been getting so much great feedback from it.
Anything I do, I like to be passionate about it.
Jekalyn's new self-titled album JEKALYN is out now.
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Featured image by Terence Rushin/Getty Images
