Times have never been more turbulent and the unknown has never been more terrifying. This means that it's very important that we nurture our mental health. Dark times tend to open our minds to receive any and all information as a means of validation. Unfortunately, that validation is temporary and precarious. Pay attention to what you're paying attention to because everything doesn't deserve your mindfulness.
In navigating these times, we have to go deeper and connect to the stillness inside of us. One self-empowering activity that helps us go deeper is speaking mantras that keep us grounded and rooted in grace. Historically, mantras have been used in meditation to keep distractions at bay. The truth is, when you're aligned, revelations come and you're able to move forward with wisdom. Ahead, find seven mantras you'll want to add to your notes and speak on the daily.
1."Failure is part of the road to success."
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In 2021, we are using failure as a success-launcher. Society has made us believe that failure is negative and that we should be fearful of it. Using this mantra, you will begin to look at the word 'fail' differently. F-irst A-ttempt I-n L-earning.
2."Everything happens right on schedule."
As much as we plan, we have to learn to trust that God and the universe are working in our favor. Your steps have already been ordered so the trick is trusting that everything will work out. Walking by faith and not by sight can lead to boundless opportunities.
3."This is only a paper tiger."
I think this is what Daniel said to himself before slaying Goliath. A paper tiger is a person or thing that appears threatening but is ineffectual. 80 percent of the mountains we create in our heads are really molehills. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try creating a mental movie where everything works in your favor and then speaking this mantra.
4."Look how far I’ve come."
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It's time we honor ourselves. Right now, think of one thing you've accomplished this week and honor that success. Self-care can manifest as taking your power back from your dark thoughts.
5."No one can take my joy."
Joy is happiness on steroids because it is linked to emotions like bliss and pleasure. It's easier to let other people control your emotions but we believe that this is the time that you take control. And by taking control, you choose yourself and what you deserve.
6.“The Sun will rise and set regardless. What we choose to do with the light while is here is up to us.”
This mantra is actually a quote by the ever-talented author Alex Elle. As annoying as it is, we need the darkness to really value the light. By realizing you are light, you'll recognize that you radiate peace. No matter the circumstances, it's up to you to create the life you want. It's your journey so it's essential that you make wise choices that serve you. Let go of unnecessary weight and burdens that aren't yours to carry. Choose yourself even when it's the last thing you feel like you need to do – that's actually when you need you the most.
7."I am in control of how I think, feel, and behave."
ShutterstockOne of my favorite mantras is the Serenity Prayer because it requires us to surrender. "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." The art of surrender isn't easy. Surrender is not failure; surrender is acceptance. It's accepting that you don't know what you don't know. This specific mantra is interrelated because it forces you to hone in on your power.
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Confrontation is a crucial aspect that can strengthen the bond between friends, even if the idea of it might make us uncomfortable. It is simply a growing pain.
I have learned that confrontation separates communicators from non-communicators and the emotionally mature from the emotionally immature.
Takisha Brooks
Courtesy
"When it comes to confrontation, people view it as a situation where someone has to leave hurt and underneath [or at the bottom]," said Takisha Brooks, MSMFT, LMFT-A.
"Confrontation is about coming together to address what happened and determine the next steps for our friendship. You don't want to get stuck on 'my way versus your way.'"
She also noted that confrontation only works if you know how to communicate and listen effectively.
Brooks is an Associate Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Chicago who loves working with couples. She focuses on communication, intimacy, parenting, and friendships.
Outside the office, Brooks facilitates marriage retreats and seminars for couples and is a part-time content creator.
The Common Misconception of Confrontation
When people hear "confrontation," they often think of arguments, raised voices, hurt feelings, or worse...a Miami Girls' Trip (the epitome of confrontation). This negative stigma makes many fear it will harm their friendship rather than help it.
"The biggest misconception about confrontation is that every time we have a disagreement, and we don't agree on everything, then we don't go forward.
It feels like when you have a confrontation, it will be the last conversation we will have with this person," Brooks explained.
"Confrontation isn't the end. Instead, you're going to address and acknowledge the elephant standing between you and me," she added.
Klaus Vedfelt/ Getty Images
Furthermore, people associate confrontation with conflict, but they are not the same. Conflict implies a serious disagreement that can lead to a rift, while confrontation is simply addressing an issue directly to find a resolution.
"There's a connection between the two, but they are not the same," Brooks revealed.
"Confrontation makes it scarier because you're going to take action. You can have conflict without taking any sort of action. It will sit there, but that's not the case if you confront what's happening," she continued.
Understanding this distinction is essential for appreciating the role of confrontation in friendship.
Why Healthy Confrontation is Good for Your Friendship
Brooks shared that "healthy confrontation" is good and necessary for friendship because it opens up lines of communication.
It allows friends to express their feelings and needs honestly. Addressing issues head-on shows respect for the friendship and a desire to improve it.
Confrontation also strengthens a friendship by building trust and showing that you value the relationship enough to work through difficulties together.
"Healthy confrontation solidifies the reality that I can trust this person...a friend...that I am doing life with compared to a moment or a season," she said.
Additionally, confrontation helps with boundaries or "safety nets," as Brooks put it.
The Negative Impact of Avoiding Confrontation
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Avoiding confrontation can negatively impact your friendship. When you don't address issues, it can lead to a buildup of resentment and frustration.
This can create a wedge between friends, causing them to drift apart. Minor annoyances can snowball into bigger problems if not dealt with early on. Not to mention, are you truly friends if you can't talk about your issues?
"The more you avoid having hard conversations, the less you can actually enjoy being in the friendship. You will not be able to enjoy that friendship to its full potential, and it will end prematurely," stated Brooks.
"Furthermore, if you have difficulty confronting issues, you must find their voice and understand the difference between being assertive and aggressive," she advised. "You can do it respectfully."
She advised choosing the right time and place, making sure both parties are calm and ready to talk, and lastly, having the conversation.
Confrontation is not about fighting; it's about communicating. It's a necessary part of any healthy friendship. By addressing issues directly, friends can clear the air, better understand each other, and grow closer.
It's about creating a space where both parties feel heard and valued.
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