
Exclusive: How A Season Of Solitude & Self-Work Set The Tone For Melanie Fiona’s Marriage

Grammy-award-winning singer and songwriter, Melanie Fiona says that her story with her husband, fellow singer, and songwriter, Jared Cotter is her favorite love story. Describing it as having all the makings of a romantic comedy, their relationship involves “real introspective lessons of growth and self-awareness.” Following a year and a half of doing intense and intentional, spiritual work, the Canadian native decided that it was time to meet her person. What she didn’t know was that on her way to a songwriting retreat in the Caribbean, she would meet Jared.
They began dating shortly after returning to New York. However, less than a year into their relationship, Melanie made the difficult decision to break up with Jared, a decision she didn’t want to make but needed to so that Jared could be sure of where he wanted to be. Six months into their break-up, Jared made his way back to Melanie more evolved and confident in how he wanted to show up for her and what she meant for him in his life.
Since then, the two have welcomed two children, gotten married, and recently shared their love story on OWN’s Black Love. In this exclusive with xoNecole, Melanie Fiona shares what she did to manifest Jared, why Black women should stop holding onto potential, and how their six-month break shifted her and Jared’s relationship dynamic.
xoNecole: After a year and a half of not dating, what were some areas you focused on and things you did to manifest Jared?
Melanie Fiona: I think the main thing that I did was say it out loud. And I said it to one of my very good friends. I said it in such a way that I woke up and was very clear about it. Once I was clear, my body, my life, and my mind began preparing for it. I had already stopped dating and sharing my body with men who were not committed partners to me. I stopped going on dates just to fill my time with company and casual conversation. I told myself that I wasn’t going to pick up the phone and call that ‘on reserve’ dude just to have a conversation because I was bored or sad or lonely.
I started valuing my time, my energy, my body, my love, my generosity, and grace for myself more than ever. I realized that I was not preserving myself for me or who deserved me. And so the minute I started operating from that space, I woke up and was ready to meet someone. I said it so clearly and just operated from a space of openness and positivity and self-love and self-value.
Courtesy of Melanie Fiona
"I started valuing my time, my energy, my body, my love, my generosity, and grace for myself more than ever. I realized that I was not preserving myself for me or who deserved me. And so the minute I started operating from that space, I woke up and was ready to meet someone."
My mantra for that year was “Happy, Healthy, Creative.” And it guided me in every area of my life, even when it came to working. Because I had these affirmative words, I had this clear direction of where I saw myself going. And I think the universe or God heard me and saw that I was doing the work and willing to set boundaries for myself with other people. I was living an obedient life that would create space for healthy love and healthy relationships and happiness to come in beautiful, creative opportunities.
Any opportunity that fit in that “Happy, Healthy, Creative” box, I was going for it. And so because the opportunity came up to do this camp on this island, that checked all of my affirmative boxes, I went for it. I had no fear. And lo and behold, that’s where I met Jared.
xoN: Did you feel that Jared was your person when you met him?
MF: I didn’t feel that he was my person, but I was taken aback by the fact that he was the first person that I could be myself with since my previous serious relationship. There were no red flags and I didn’t feel like I was playing a game of deciphering what someone says or means. Jared reminded me what it was to be authentically safe with someone. As we spent more time together, I knew there was something very important about our meeting and I knew that he could be that person.
But I also recognize that holding on to potential is a very dangerous thing for women. We see this potential of who someone could be, and we want to hold on to it and fix it and look for ways to help someone be that for us. I've done that before, but this time, I recognized that he was the person for me, but he needed to know he was the person for me. He needed to see that. I knew that Jared knew I was his person. There's no doubt about it. If you talk to him, he will tell you. But he didn't have the confidence to know that he was the one for me and that's the difference.
Courtesy of Melanie Fiona
"I knew that Jared knew I was his person. There's no doubt about it. If you talk to him, he will tell you. But he didn't have the confidence to know that he was the one for me and that's the difference."
I'll say that it didn't happen instantaneously, but once everything started going. I was like, “Oh no, this is him.” And so when I had to break up with him, it was the hardest breakup I think I've ever had. I had never released someone in love. I had always broken up with somebody due to something tumultuous or dramatic or at a breaking point. I had done so much spiritual work to understand what healthy attachments were and understood that if things are truly meant to be they will be. But I was sending away my person.
I did the work, I was in the right place. I knew what we shared. I knew what we had been through. But I had to let him go because his learning process couldn’t be at the expense of my feelings and he understood that. It was the biggest act of selflessness and self-love at the same time. But I had an odd sense of peace and trusted that I was making the best decision for me.
However, deep down inside, I was hoping that we would always come back.
xoN: Did you ever have any doubts that the two of you wouldn’t find your way back?
MF: It's interesting. I feel like I had closed the door but I knew that I had a crack in it for Jared. I knew inside that I would leave this door open for him. I was like if he comes back and he comes back right, this door is open for him. It was never shut completely.
I always knew that there was more for our story. I didn't know how or when it would present itself, but I'm very grateful that it was only six months. On the outside, I had to move and live and treat him and the whole situation–even amongst our mutual friends–like we were moving on. But on the inside, I knew there was more.
xoN: You previously said that as women we sometimes hold on to potential or look for ways to fix someone. Why would you say that it is important for women to let go of potential and stand firm in their boundaries in relationships?
MF: I think that Black women have enough to fight with every day for their existence. Just to exist as a strong, beautiful, Black, intelligent, established woman. As Black women, we go through so much individually and I feel like you have to set boundaries for yourself to honor your value when you know what you have to offer.
Holding on to potential or trying to fix it comes from a place of fear. I think it’s a bit of trauma response and feeling like you can't or won’t do any better. Sometimes as Black women, we take what we can get and [don't] get upset. Also, I just think Black women in general are nurturers. We have this insane and beautiful ability to come in and fix and nurture and gather and just want to take care of people. And it's depleted us over time. We see it in our mothers and our grandmothers and hear how tired they are at the end of the day from doing so much.
Courtesy of Melanie Fiona
"As Black women, we need to honor the fact that that is our superpower. That we can come in and fix and help but we can't do it in spaces that deplete us or that abuse us or take advantage of us. They have to be healthy, reciprocated environments where we're growing together. It can't be at the expense of our emotions."
I think that as Black women, we need to preserve what we know is our light and our power, and we need to always make sure that everyone sees us for that, honors it, and doesn’t take advantage of it. Because some of these dudes also want to be taken care of because of what they go through daily and are looking for somebody to come and help them through it.
As Black women, we need to honor the fact that that is our superpower. That we can come in and fix and help but we can't do it in spaces that deplete us or that abuse us or take advantage of us. They have to be healthy, reciprocated environments where we're growing together. It can't be at the expense of our emotions. It cannot be at the expense of our feelings and our happiness in the situation.
xoN: How did you come to know what your superpower was as far as what you brought to your relationship?
MF: It came through spiritual work. Through understanding the higher vibrational version of myself, and knowing that I'm very powerful with my words. I'm very powerful with my love. I can change things. I can make things happen for myself when operating from a place of self-love because it allows you to just know what is working within that vibration or is not. It comes with work, it comes from really knowing yourself and understanding. Are you ignoring what your inner voice is screaming at you right now? Or are you letting it lead and trusting it and are you going with yourself?
I knew that when there was high vibration because I could feel the difference. I could see the difference in myself. I knew that I had pure love to offer someone because I had done the work for myself. And I was in a place to do so.
Courtesy of Melanie Fiona
"I used to tell Jared that I expected exceptional love because that was what I had to offer. I know that the place in which I like to operate in love may not necessarily fit everyone's parameters or description of what a healthy relationship looks like, but I know what it looks like for me and it feels like going above the norm."
I used to tell Jared that I expected exceptional love because that was what I had to offer. I know that the place in which I like to operate in love may not necessarily fit everyone's parameters or description of what a healthy relationship looks like, but I know what it looks like for me and it feels like going above the norm. It feels it's going above standard and expected. It operates a little bit higher, a little bit more mindful. It operates a little bit more intentionally. And that's kind of the way that I feel like I've found my superpowers in all areas of my life.
xoN: Given everything that you and Jared have gone through in your relationship as far as breaking up and getting back together, how has that changed the dynamic within your relationship and how do you intend on using that to set an example for your children?
MF: The thing that we hold on to is that we made a choice. We chose to be here. We didn't get thrown into the situation. We made an absolute mindful choice to choose one another. And that's the thing that I hope more people start to think about in their relationships. By making that choice, the foundation of our union, every other choice has to honor that one. That's how we navigate our relationship now.
Courtesy of Melanie Fiona
"We chose to be here. We didn't get thrown into the situation. We made an absolute mindful choice to choose one another. By making that choice, the foundation of our union, every other choice has to honor that one. That's how we navigate our relationship now."
My husband and I are very affectionate. We love each other. And my son sees that. But the other day, he said something about getting married. I asked him if he knew what it meant to be married and he paused and said, “To be happy.” Jared, we looked at each other, and I realized we were doing it right because our six-year-old could define marriage. And that’s the goal.
I think most parents want their kids to feel that their union is healthy and happy and loving. And that was one of those confirmations along the way that reminded me we were doing something right. But again, we intentionally chose one another. And we take our actions in the way that we lived individually and together to honor that choice.
For more of Melanie, follow her on Instagram @melaniefiona.
Featured image by
- Melanie Fiona Married, Husband - xoNecole: Women's Interest ... ›
- How Letting Go Allowed Melanie Fiona Become Her Own Woman ... ›
Racquel Coral is an experienced lifestyle writer focusing on self-love, growth, body positivity, and profiles of Black-owned businesses and community heros. Her work can be found here, and she can be found on all social media platforms @withloveracquel.
Your May 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Blooming Softly & Trusting Divine Timing
May is about being patient, nurturing your dreams, and creating beauty in your world. This is a more stable and generous month than the chaos that April brought, and we get an opportunity for closure, healing, and rejuvenation this month. We are still amid some important retrograde transits, but these are ones we can navigate better by grounding our energy in the present moment, and not allowing ourselves to stress over the what-ifs.
With the Sun in Taurus for most of the month, May reminds us that there is beauty in finding your peace and not allowing anyone to disrupt that.
Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
May 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
The impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
Taurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
May is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
Cancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
This month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
May is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
This is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
May is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
May is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
May is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
Your guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
Allow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Lizzo Talks Confidence: 'I Love The Person I've Become Through It All & I Think That's The Real Prize'
Lizzo is reflecting on her healing journey while giving the girls advice about confidence. The "Truth Hurts" singer has faced unfair criticism throughout her career for being a plus-size woman who embraces her curves. However, she recently went through a body transformation, which she calls a "weight release," and was criticized yet again.
But through it all, we've seen her hold her head high and continue to collect checks and awards. Lizzo stopped by The Breakfast Club recently and opened up about self-love, confidence, and healing.
When co-host Charlamagne Tha God asked Lizzo the difference between confidence and healing, The "Still Bad" artist replied, "I think people can fake confidence, but you can't fake healing. You can't be fake healed."
Lizzo explained how faking confidence can actually help you in the long run. "There's a lot of people who walk around and they can pretend to be confident and actually, I think that's what confidence's intention is, is to be used a little artificially. The fake it to you make," she said.
"Then, eventually you get there because my confidence, I had to force it. I had to fake it for a long time because I didn't grow up in a world where they were like, 'you're beautiful' and 'your body is beautiful' and 'we like you,' 'we like your personality.' 'Yeah, you watch anime and listen to rock music, we accept you.'
I was very like 'other' and I think I had to be like, 'no, you are good enough,' 'you are worthy of love,' 'your body is beautiful,' even when I didn't believe it. I think that eventually, if you say something enough, it can come true. You can manifest it, you can create your reality and I think I got there by faking it."
When it comes to dealing with negativity, Lizzo is learning to let the not so nice comments roll off her back and give grace. "People are as kind to others as they are to themselves and if somebody is throwing hatred or saying something mean-spirited about somebody, just for the sake of doing it, I can't imagine how you talk to yourself," she said. I can't imagine how you think about yourself and treat yourself when no one's watching and for that, Ive already won."
She added, "I love the person I've become through it all and I think that's the real prize. That's the real reward."
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Stephen Lovekin/Shutterstock