
A decade is a lifetime in entrepreneurship. Back when I started my company, I was a bright-eyed recently graduated 24-year-old, engaged to my college boyfriend, brimming with optimism and unyielding determination. 10 years on and I'm still resolute in my pursuit, despite many unexpected pivots along the way. It's been the best journey yet and the thing I'm most proud of. My only regret is not having had the humility to ask for help–a coach, a mentor, a business role model–until a few years in.
As such, I'm sharing the 10 lessons I've learned through the years as atonement for my less-savvy twenty-something self. I hope it helps, and if you still have questions, let's talk online.
1.Prioritize Your Own Health and Happiness.

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I always believed that entrepreneurship would be my vehicle to freedom. Executed thoughtfully and with care, it can and should reinforce your lifestyle, ideals, and how you want to contribute to the world. When I speak of freedom, I'm not referring to the version glorified on social media. I'll be the first to admit that much of my day-to-day activity includes fulfilling requests made by our clients and my team. So, the social media version of being your own "boss" is a false narrative. Instead, seek the type of freedom that creates a space for you to always work from a place of authenticity, and allow that work to act as an extension of how you see yourself in the world.
2.Create Your Own Definition of Success.
For years, growth looked like a beautiful office with chandeliers, high ceilings and a chalk wall (because...millennials, duh). I made it my reality and delighted in it for a bit. But once I "had it all", I realized I was chasing society's standards of what an established agency should look like. I had grown attached to superficial definitions of success by watching my competitors–without having any clue what they were bringing in monthly or what kept them up at night. I lacked meaningful measurements to draw comparisons from – the Internet will do that. Once I spent some time introspecting about my business, it became crystal clear that my utmost desire in life is to contribute meaningful work to the world and to create opportunities for others. Since then, I wake up every morning full of disbelief and amazement at the stories we get to tell each day.
3.Seek Mentors and Always Know the Ask.
One day, you'll look up and realize that it's up to you to seek and find inspiration and to hold yourself to your promises to others. This can be problematic because there's always a new way to be more efficient and there are constantly new ways to innovate. A mentor should hold you accountable and ensure you're always refining your skills. But the relationship should be mutually beneficial. Be thoughtful about how you add value to the life of your mentor and always be prepared prior to meeting with them. Know what the asks are and what you hope to gain during each encounter.
4.Continue Developing, Growing, and Learning.
In addition to mentors, I've enrolled in business development programs (Goldman Sachs 10,000 Small Businesses was one). If you skipped business school and went right into entrepreneurship, I can't stress enough how important this is. The truth is, some of your competitors may not offer an exceptional product or service, but have the advantage of a greater business acumen. Developing your business skills helps you to scale up or down based on business performance, not emotions. For example, I've had up to six full-time employees, down to two and back up again to six. I've realized that growth doesn't always have to be linear. It can look like expanding on your existing services and offerings. You can increase your monthly fee or add additional services to existing accounts. Ultimately, growth requires investment, which can feel risky, however worthwhile.
5.Be Ready to Sacrifice.

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By 30, I was on my way to divorce while being forced to face some hard truths about my personal finances. I had neither traveled much nor cultivated new friendships beyond my college peers. I'd put everything into my company and I had missed out on many adventures and personal growth opportunities as a result. What's still true is that entrepreneurship can be lonely, so be ready to commit to radical self-care. So many of your personal and professional highs and lows will be determined by you, you alone and (if you believe) the God or Goddess you serve. The upside is that sacrifice can yield a life from which an abundance of joy, balance, and options flow.
6.Ask for What You’re Worth.
Through the years I've received some pretty amazing offers for full-time employment on political campaigns and within corporate organizations. In order to say "no" with confidence, I had to increase our rates so I'd sleep well at night feeling valued. However, it wasn't until year five that I added myself to our payroll. Again...nothing worth having is without sacrifice. I wish the 25-year-old version of myself had the confidence that I do in my 30's to fight for me, my team and my contractors the way I do now. Don't get me wrong, the pay gap still exists. I'm constantly reassessing our value proposition and trying to set a new standard for women who look like me. Frankly, we're taken advantage of the most in business. But it's a wonderful time to be alive. We have access to thousands of data points and digital content to allow our work to speak for itself.
7.Make Mistakes. Revel in Them.
It wasn't until year five that I enrolled in a business development program and acquired many of the tools and resources I needed to structure my back office in a meaningful way. As you can probably imagine, mistakes tied to finances, operations and administration are often the most costly. However, if you asked me today to get a business up and running within 48 hours, I'd gladly accept the challenge. The mistakes I've made through the years forced me to sit down, analyze, and ultimately continue to develop better ways to do business. I am grateful for that.
8.Stay Networking.
When we initially launched, our team committed to three networking events per week. Yes, it was exhausting. Yes, it paid off. Most of the contacts I have now are people I met in those early years. I never tire of picking up the phone and hearing, "I met you many years ago…" There is so much power in putting yourself out there. Stay open to the possibilities of budding relationships–they can flower and bear fruit.
9.Lead with your Heart, and the Money will Follow.
I kid you not, for every phase I've gone through in life personally, there's been a campaign or client I was able to channel that energy into in a positive way. In recent years, we've been able to shape dozens of stories around women, health, equity, access, community development and more. This isn't always easy when you're just coming out the gate. Once you become confident in your ability and certain in your values, you won't even blink at the opportunities that aren't aligned with you. I firmly believe in the law of attraction and Medley is proof.
10.Play to Your Strengths.

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Recently, a friend encouraged me to slow down on acquiring new skills and focus on what's right in front of me. This became an opportunity to reflect on the past 10 years, while nurturing the best area to build upon over the next 10 years. What she was referring to was my need to cultivate my leadership skills. I'm grateful for having been able to steer this ship for so long, but my company only grows if I grow. As mentioned, I've always seen entrepreneurship and leadership as a path to freedom – I was being called "bossy" in kindergarten (before Beyonce and friends banned it). But good leaders grow both themselves and others and are constantly modifying their style of leadership.
Play to your strengths. That's how I plan to spend the next decade.
Did you know that xoNecole has a new podcast? Join founder Necole Kane, and co-hosts Sheriden Chanel and Amer Woods, for conversations over cocktails each and every week by subscribing to xoNecole Happy Hour podcast on Itunes and Spotify.
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Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
These Black Women Left Their Jobs To Turn Their Wildest Dreams Into Reality
“I’m too big for a f***ing cubicle!” Those thoughts motivated Randi O to kiss her 9 to 5 goodbye and step into her dreams of becoming a full-time social media entrepreneur. She now owns Randi O P&R. Gabrielle, the founder of Raw Honey, was moving from state to state for her corporate job, and every time she packed her suitcases for a new zip code, she regretted the loss of community and the distance in her friendships. So she created a safe haven and village for queer Black people in New York.
Then there were those who gave up their zip code altogether and found a permanent home in the skies. After years spent recruiting students for a university, Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare became a full-time travel influencer and founded her travel company, Shakespeare Agency. And she's not alone.
These stories mirror the experiences of women across the world. For millions, the pandemic induced a seismic shift in priorities and desires. Corporate careers that were once hailed as the ultimate “I made it” moment in one's career were pushed to the back burner as women quit their jobs in search of a more self-fulfilling purpose.
xoNecole spoke to these three Black women who used the pandemic as a springboard to make their wildest dreams a reality, the lessons they learned, and posed the question of whether they’ll ever return to cubicle life.
Answers have been edited for context and length.
xoNecole: How did the pandemic lead to you leaving the cubicle?
Randi: I was becoming stagnant. I was working in mortgage and banking but I felt like my personality was too big for that job! From there, I transitioned to radio but was laid off during the pandemic. That’s what made me go full throttle with entrepreneurship.
Gabrielle: I moved around a lot for work. Five times over a span of seven years. I knew I needed a break because I had experienced so much. So, I just quit one day. Effective immediately. I didn’t know what I was going to do, I just knew I needed a break and to just regroup.
Lisa-Gaye: I was working in recruiting at a university and my dream job just kind of fell into my lap! But, I never got to fully enjoy it before the world shut down in March [2020] and I was laid off. On top of that, I was stuck in Miami because Jamaica had closed its borders due to the pandemic before I was able to return.

Randi O
xoN: Tell us about your journey after leaving Corporate America.
Randi: I do it all now! I have a podcast, I’m an on-air talent, I act, and I own a public relations company that focuses on social media engagement. It’s all from my network. When you go out and start a business, you can’t just say, “Okay I’m done with Corporate America,” and “Let me do my own thing.” If you don’t build community, if you don’t build a network it's going to be very hard to sustain.
Gabrielle: I realized in New York, there was not a lot to do for Black lesbians and queer folks. We don’t really have dedicated bars and spaces so I started doing events and it took off. I started focusing on my brand, Raw Honey. I opened a co-working space, and I was able to host an NYC Pride event in front of 100,000 people. I hit the ground running with Raw Honey. My events were all women coming to find community and come together with other lesbians and queer folks. I found my purpose in that.
Lisa-Gaye: After being laid off, I wrote out all of my passions and that’s how I came up with [my company] Shakespeare Agency. It was all of the things that I loved to do under one umbrella. The pandemic pulled that out of me. I had a very large social media following, so I pitched to hotels that I would feature them on my blog and social media. This reignited my passion for travel. I took the rest of the year to refocus my brand to focus solely on being a content creator within the travel space.

Gabrielle
xoN: What have you learned about yourself during your time as an entrepreneur?
Randi: [I learned] the importance of my network and community that I created. When I was laid off I was still keeping those relationships with people that I used to work with. So it was easy for me to transition into social media management and I didn’t have to start from scratch.
Gabrielle: The biggest thing I learned about myself was my own personal identity as a Black lesbian and how much I had assimilated into straight and corporate culture and not being myself. Now, I feel comfortable and confident being my authentic self. Now, I'm not sacrificing anything else for my career. I have a full life. I have friends. I have a social life. And when you are happy and have a full quality of life, I feel like [I] can have more longevity in my career.
Lisa-Gaye: [I'm doing] the best that I've ever done. The discipline that I’m building within myself. Nobody is saying, ‘Oh you have to be at work at this time.’ There’s no boss saying, ‘Why are you late?’ But, if I’m laying in bed at 10 a.m. then it's me saying [to myself], 'Okay, Lisa, get up, it's time for you to start working!’ That’s all on me.
xoNecole: What mistakes do you want to help people avoid when leaving Corporate America?
Randi: You have to learn about the highs and lows of entrepreneurship. You have a fast season and a slow season and I started to learn that when you're self-employed the latter season hits hard. Don't get caught up on the lows, just keep going and don't stop. I’m glad I did.
Gabrielle: I think everyone should quit their job and just figure it out for a second. You will discover so much about yourself when you take a second to just focus on you. Your skill set will always be there. You can’t be afraid of what will happen when you bet on yourself.
Lisa-Gaye: When it comes to being an influencer the field is saturated and a lot of people suffer from imposter syndrome. There is nothing wrong with being an imposter but find out how to make it yours, how to make it better. If you go to the store, you see 10 million different brands of bread! But you are choosing the brand that you like because you like that particular flavor.
So be an imposter, but be the best imposter of yourself and add your own flair, your own flavor. Make the better bread. The bread that you want.

Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
xoNecole: Will you ever return to your 9 to 5?
Randi: I wouldn’t go back to Corporate America. But I don’t mind working under someone. A lot of people try to get into this business saying, “I can't work under anyone.” That’s not necessarily the reason to start a business because you're always going to answer to somebody. Clients, brands, there’s always someone else involved.
Gabrielle: I went back! I really needed a break and I gave myself that. But, I realized I’m a corporate girl, [and] I enjoy the work that I do. I’m good at it and I really missed that side of myself. I have different sides of me and my whole identity is not Raw Honey or my queerness. A big side of me is business and that’s why I love having my career. Now I feel like my best self.
Lisa-Gaye: I really don’t. For right now, I love working for myself. It's gratifying, it's challenging, it's exciting. It’s a big deal for me to say I own my own business. That I am my own boss, and I'm a Black woman doing it.
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Featured image courtesy of Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
Originally published on February 6, 2023









