You've made your New Year's resolution. This is the year that you will finally get a new job. Whether your current job has been draining, unfulfilling, or just downright boring, you have made the decision that 2020 is the year things change. And honestly, you're not alone. According to a recent American Staffing Association (ASA) survey conducted by The Harris Poll, about 48% of employed adults plan to search for a new job this year. So almost half of the workforce is ready for a fresh start in the new decade.
But what do you need to do in order to make that career move this year? How do you ensure success in your search? Here are four tips to get your started:
Set Concrete Goals
Photo by Giphy
To start your search off on the right foot, you need to answer specific questions. This will help you to focus your efforts and prevent you from casting an overly wide net, while determining how you need to position yourself in the marketplace. Think through the following:
- What kind of job do you want?
- What are you looking for from your next job that your current job doesn't provide?
- Where is the new job located?
- How much money do you want to make?
- What industry are you working in?
- Are there specific companies you want to focus on?
- What level of position are you looking for?
- How soon do you want to start?
It is essential for you to take the time you need to get clear on what you want. You can't get frustrated with not finding the best opportunities for your career if you aren't even sure what those opportunities are.
Get Your Resume Right
This is the perfect time to nix outdated sections like objective statements, references, and your full mailing address. (No one is sending you snail mail about potential jobs in 2020). Edit your work history to eliminate irrelevant or older positions (more than 15 years). Make sure that you are targeting your resume content for the specific jobs you want to apply for. Incorporate relevant keywords from the job description to optimize your resume for the Web. Swap the laundry list of tasks for each job with fewer, more concise bullets highlighting accomplishments and major contributions.
When it comes to formatting, choose a layout appropriate for your industry. If you are in a creative field like graphic design or photography, your resume should typically look different from one written for legal or finance positions. Exercise caution. Given you will be submitting the majority of your applications online, you need to ensure that the format you select can be easily read by the applicant tracking system (ATS). Therefore, resist the urge to include busy graphs or other elements that may cause your resume to be filtered out automatically.
Pro Tip: After making all of your edits, don't forget to take a step back and read your resume with a cold pair of eyes. What impression does it give the reader? For example, does it read as an entry-level resume when you've got several years of experience? Does it position you as a high-quality candidate?
Work Your LinkedIn
Let's be honest. You know you need a LinkedIn profile. (You should already have one!) In 2020, take your profile to the next level. Copying and pasting your work experience and education from your resume won't cut it. Create an engaging profile with a headline and summary that draws readers in. Utilize the Skills section to highlight your expertise and make it easier for recruiters and hiring managers to find you. Leverage the Accomplishments section to showcase your major wins and achievements. You can add languages, publications, even patents. Start following the companies that interest you so that you can learn about new opportunities and start engaging with their content.
Outside of your profile, get started on building meaningful relationships through the platform. This does not mean you should blindly send requests to everyone at the companies you want to work for. Find key decision makers, recruiters, hiring managers, etc. and send out connection requests with custom invitations. For individuals who most likely receive a high volume of requests, it's critical to be clear and intentional with your invitation.
Then engage with their posts. Don't just look for posts about open positions. If they're talking about what's happening in the industry, share your perspective. Demonstrate that you have relevant knowledge and expertise. Create organic exchanges that can open the door for offline conversations.
Network In Real Life
"It's not what you know, but who you know."
Speaking of offline conversations, LinkedIn is a fantastic place to make connections, but if possible, they shouldn't stay there. You can leverage LinkedIn to set up informal phone conversations, video conferences, or coffee chats.
But LinkedIn is just one medium. Make an additional effort to build and expand your network outside of online platforms. Join relevant professional or trade associations and attend their events. If you are a member of a sorority, become active in their local chapter and connect with other members. Tap into your existing network of friends and colleagues and ask for introductions in their networks. Per CNBC, research shows that 70% of all jobs are not published on public job search sites and up to 80% of jobs are filled through networking.
You can get the job you want in 2020. Once you set your goals, you just have to roll up your sleeves and get to work!
For more information about Julia Rock, check out Rock Career Development or follow her on Instagram.
Featured Photo by Shutterstock
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RELATED
The reason why I’m leading with this when it comes to this particular topic is that if you’re someone who has been sexually active for a while, you’re contemplating going into a season of abstinence or celibacy, and a part of your hesitation is you think that you’ll be one of the very few who’s done it, that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s becoming more common than ever for individuals to at least go 6-12 months without sex…for a variety of reasons.
Okay, but what if you’re thinking about doing it, and you’re in a relationship with someone who you’re currently sexually active with? Not only that, but your partner is absolutely not on the same page with you when it comes to making this type of move. If that’s your challenge of the day and you’re not sure what you should do about it all, I’ve actually got a few tips, ones that, hopefully, will at least give you some of the clarity that you may be seeking in this particular season of (temporary) transition in your life.
What Is Your Reason?
GiphyPopular life coach Michael Hyatt once said, “When you know your why, you’ll know your way,” and when you’ve made the decision to go without sex, no matter how long that season may be, no greater words could be spoken. So, if abstinence is what you’re considering, definitely ask yourself what is your reason for that. Is it Scriptural or religious? Is it because you feel like you are confusing good sex with a solid relational dynamic?
Is it because you think that you and your partner are in an endless pattern of “making up to break-up” (check out “Make-Up Sex Might Be Doing Your Relationship More Harm Than Good”)? Perhaps you’re on some form of birth control, and you want to give your body a break from the hormones. Maybe you recently had a pregnancy scare that has caused you to do a bit of life reevaluating, and you don’t want to risk another chance of having a positive sign on a test until you get clear on how you want the next couple of years of your life to look.
I know when I decided to enter into my LOOONG season of not-getting-any, it was because I decided to see if I was in a pattern of counterproductivity — not just when it came to sex but with the people I chose to have sex with.
For me, I entered into my abstinence phase without being in a relationship (I did it after breaking up with the last boyfriend that I will ever have in this lifetime — check out “Why I'll Never Call Someone A 'Boyfriend' Again”), so my shift was virtually drama-free (well, minus all of the detoxing that I went through; that first six months or so without sex is a MUTHA). However, I have had times when I’ve wanted to go several months without sex, after having sex with someone, and it did not make for a smooth sailing between the two of us.
Anyway, when it comes to figuring out what you should do about your own situation, being very clear about your reasons can make it so much easier to do the next thing: come up with a plan.
What Is Your Plan?
GiphyFor the sake of time and space, I can’t address every dilemma for this, so let’s go with one of ‘em. Say that the (main) reason why you want to be abstinent is because you know you have a pattern of mistaking good sex for actual intimacy (check out “What If The Sex Is Great? But The Relationship Sucks.”). The guy you’ve been seeing, the relationship is under six months old, yet you could see a real future with him. Thing is, you’ve been having sex with each other for about three months now, and you just recently decided to go exclusive.
You know, with everything in you, that a big part of the reason why he was cool with not seeing anyone else is because sex is consistent (and good) between the two of you, so you’re not (completely) sure how he’s going to handle your new decision.
Well, what’s your plan? What I mean by that is, well, a few things:
- How long do you plan on being abstinent?
- What kind of abstinent do you want to be (no oral, no foreplay, no making out, etc.)?
- When you remove something, it’s wise to replace it with something else; how do you want to fill that void in the meantime?
- Where do you see the relationship going as a result of making this kind of shift?
- While you’re thinking about what’s best for you, what do you think is best for your relationship as well?
You know the saying goes “Fail to plan, plan to fail,” and when it comes to being abstinent when you’re in a relationship, I’ve dealt with this myself (and via clients) enough to know that when men are approached with this, what they tend to be the most interested in is 1) abstinent for what; 2) abstinent for how long, and 3) why abstinence would ultimately be beneficial for the relationship overall.
Listen, in a lot of relationships, sex is a significant part of it. That’s why you don’t want to go into something this paramount with a “winging it” mindset. The clearer you are about how this can be helpful for you both, at least on some level, the more open “he” will be willing to hear you out and take it into some serious consideration.
How Serious Is the Relationship?
GiphyLight at the end of the tunnel. I’ll tell you what, when you’re in a season of abstinence, and you know that there is some end in sight (because very few folks want to be abstinent forever), it can make going without so much easier to bear. That said when it comes to abstinence while in a relationship, there’s a big difference between telling someone who you’re in a new relationship with that you want to “press pause” for an indefinite period of time vs. telling someone who you recently got engaged to that you want to wait until your wedding day. The first one? Who knows where things are headed? The second? There is a date that is attached to the decision; indeed, there is “relief” on the horizon.
So yeah, that’s something else that needs to be considered because I’ll be real with you — based on how serious the relationship is, your decision to be abstinent may be a “me” decision or a “we” decision. Meaning, a guy who you’re just starting to see and dig, if there are no real lasting guarantees on the table, you really need to focus most on what’s best for you and kind of let the chips fall where they may. On the other hand, for someone who you are in it to win it with long-term (mutually so, not just in your own estimation), you would be silly to think that abstinence wouldn’t have the potential to significantly impact your relationship’s future. Why?
Because if sex was a part of your “house’s” foundation, if you pull some of the foundations out, it can cause the house to “shake” a bit — especially if some trying times present themselves during that same season. So yep, you factoring in the “weight” of the relationship is also what needs to be taken into some serious account. (Tip: You probably need to get him to weigh in on this as well. It’s not uncommon for one person to think a relationship is one type while someone else estimates it to be something totally different.)
Please Remember This at All Times: You Have Free Will. So Does He.
GiphySomething that I will forever say until the cows (and all of the other animals on Noah’s Ark) come home is people really need to stop dating like they are married — if you want to be married, get married. At the end of the day, dating is all about seeing if you’re a good fit for someone and if they are a good fit for you. Unlike marriage, no vows were taken before the Lord, your family, and friends. There is no paperwork involved. There is not the all-in intention of being with someone, no matter what, until death parts you. So, you know what that means? If one or both people come to a fork in the road where there isn’t room for compromise, no one is the bad guy for deciding to end things — yes, even when it comes to something like one individual wanting to remain sexually active while the other doesn’t.
I mean, how would you feel if the guy you were seeing decided that he didn’t want to spend money on dates or special occasions anymore because he needed to focus on getting out of debt? I’m not talking about for a couple of weeks either — I mean, several months or even a couple of years. If you can hang, he needs to keep you because you’re a real one. You know what, though? If you can’t, that doesn’t make you a gold digger or siren. If dates and gifts are what you feel like you need, again, especially if the relationship is relatively new, you need to do what’s best for you….just like he needs to do what’s best for him. It would be totally unfair on his part to expect you to be as invested in his self-development as he is.
IT'S NO DIFFERENT WITH YOUR DECISION TO BE ABSTINENT.
You are doing what’s best for you and he is not the devil incarnate if what is best for you is not what’s best for him. Husbands and wives have to make life-altering sacrifices; boyfriends and girlfriends (or the “untitled”)? They don’t. As unpopular (and perhaps even difficult) as it may be to hear, just like the Bible, Quran, Torah, and taxes don’t give a category for boyfriends and girlfriends (you’re single, married, divorced, or widowed), you should live your life in a similar fashion.
What I mean by that is, you’re single until you’re not. This means that you need to prioritize yourself above all else until someone vows to provide for and protect you (as you vow to help and nurture him). If you need to be abstinent, you don’t owe someone your body. If your partner doesn’t want to follow suit, he doesn’t owe you the sacrifice of going without either.
And so, if you can’t find any compromise, break up. Maybe you’ll cross paths in the future, maybe you won’t. What this season will reveal to you, rest assured, is what is best for you, who complements your life in the now, and how you should move as far as interactions with others go. Yet again, he’s not a villain for not wanting something that is different from what he initially agreed to. Don’t gaslight yourself or him into thinking otherwise. It’s not fair.
Always Do What’s Best for You
GiphyListen, as someone who knows long-term abstinence very up close and personally, very few things in life will teach you more about yourself than going without sex for a season will. It will teach you self-control. It will teach you how to figure out the difference between loving someone and “loving it.” It will teach you how to not settle just because someone makes you feel good. It will teach you how to exert self-discipline in other areas of your life. It will teach you how to not be afraid of losing someone if that means gaining more of yourself.
And honestly, that’s the biggest takeaway that you should get from all of this because, while there is a chance that your relationship is solid enough that your partner can roll with your decision if he chooses not to, choosing you above him and your connection, that is already making abstinence a bomb decision. Because when you do what’s best for you, you tend to choose who is ultimately best for you — whether it’s immediately or eventually — too.
___
Bottom line, if you know that putting sex on pause is best for you, for now, PLEASE don’t let a relationship keep you from doing that. It might feel good to ignore your innermost needs now…yet I can almost guarantee that you will regret it later.
And it’s NEVER worth it, while you’re single, to ignore or push aside you…for “him”.
Trust me on that, sis.
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Featured image by Tom Werner/Getty Images